Guest Post by Jacques
My pal Jacques, entertainment writer extraordinaire from down under, graciously offered to write a guest piece on RHOBH for us, and I happily accepted!
Beverly Hills is far from my favourite Real Housewives city these days, but somehow it manages to get under my skin like no other. I felt some serious word vomit coming on immediately after finishing the season 7 finale, so I raced to Twitter to beg Tamara to let me write something for Tamara Tattles. Thankfully, she agreed! Overall this was a far more enjoyable and entertaining season than the last two, but it’s still a long way off the Beverly Hills glory days of seasons 1-3, as well as the messy, underrated season 4.
Most Valuable Player: Lisa Rinna
Rinna’s a rollercoaster of a Housewife, providing endless ups and downs throughout the course of each season. One minute you’re laughing, the next you’re cringing, and the next you’re gasping, but you’re never bored. She was the catalyst for almost all the good drama this season, and even managed to insert herself into #Pantygate which had nothing to do with her. Like Brandi before her, she’s a breath of fresh air on a show where all the major players are terrified of getting their hands dirty. And like Brandi, sometimes she goes too far, but on reality TV that’s better than holding back. My only criticism? Enough of the modelling daughters storyline. We’ve already been there with Yolanda. Enough!
Verdict: Delivered
Most Passé: Lisa Vanderpump
The fallen star of the franchise wore out her welcome years ago, and this season she did nothing to convince me otherwise. She started on a predictably bitter note, holding a grudge from season six and then failing to reignite her feud with Eileen Davidson who was smart and mature enough not to take the bait. She spent the rest of her time as a sidekick rather than a major player, only garnering airtime for her contractually-obliged charity scenes or for sniping from the side with endless digs at Eileen and Rinna. It was a sad display seeing the former Queen Bee desperately clutching to a metaphorical crown that Erika already snatched a year ago. Moving forward, I can see LVP being a fabulous ‘friend’ of the Housewives, but she has little left to offer as a full timer.
Verdict: Dumpster
Most Improved: Kyle Richards
As a longtime Kyle hater I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I really enjoyed her this season. With that said, I still stand by every criticism I’ve ever had of her: I believe she’s one of the most opportunistic and contrived Housewives in the entire Bravo franchise and that her behaviour is largely dictated by viewer feedback (a crime Camille is also guilty of). She also has no storyline without Kim or Brandi to bounce off of. But she was really likeable this season, no matter how fake her performance may have been. She’s also found the perfect replacement to keep her relevant in the absence of Kim and Brandi in The Agency. Thanks to Mauricio’s immensely successful real estate empire, Kyle is now one of the show’s chief providers of the rich people lifestyle porn that so many viewers tune in for. Sorry LVP, you’ve been dethroned – again!
Verdict: Delivered
Most Underrated: Eileen Davidson
Queen Eileen is the most sincere, level-headed, and relatable Housewife in Beverly Hills history, which has surprisingly made her one of the show’s most polarizing figures. Some people find those qualities ‘boring’, others think she’s a breath of fresh air who keeps the crazy cast grounded. She opened the season like the class act that she is, refusing to play into LVP’s nasty jabs and pathetic attempts to continue their feud from the previous season. This was an important moment because it made Eileen the first Housewife not to go crawling back to Vanderpump after the inevitable fan backlash that rains down upon anybody who dares cross the British bulldog. When the pair later made amends in Hong Kong, it was natural and genuine instead of forced for a storyline. Despite limited screen time compared to the rest of the cast, Eileen successfully resolved dramas with Dorit and Erika in a mature fashion, and demonstrated sincere friendships with her gal pals that were refreshing to see after the ‘alliance’ friendships of stars like LVP and Kyle or Porsha and Phaedra. Eileen also tugged at the heartstrings by dealing with her mother’s death on camera, and later shut down PK in the most epic way possible on the season finale. In case you couldn’t tell, she’s my favourite on RHOBH.
Verdict: Delivered
RELATED POST: HERE IS HOW RHOBH WORKS
Most Tired: Kim Richards
I’m a former Kim stan who considers her an important and vital part of the Beverly Hills formula, but this season was just too much. Despite not being a full timer, the ‘mostly sober’ star was wheeled out by producers to provide half of the season’s storyline. In every scene she was either combative, which was uncomfortable to watch, or gushing about her grandson, which was just plain boring. It was also frustrating seeing Kim complain about her sobriety being brought up when she willingly decided to film a reality show where her sobriety had already been a storyline for six years straight. If Beverly Hills is ever going to truly evolve as a franchise, then I can’t see how they can do it with Kim on board. Sorry girl, but it’s time to go and sort yourself out away from the cameras.
Verdict: Dumpster
Most Important: Erika Jayne
Regardless of what you think of Erika, there’s no denying that she’s the star of Beverly Hills right now. The fact that she and Rinna didn’t snatch the center diamonds this season is a travesty and speaks to Bravo’s inability to truly move the franchise forward. The blonde bombshell delivered every damn time, whether it was through her fashion, family, friendships, or feuds. Sure, she came off a little badly towards the end, but it was nice to see that she was a flawed human being after coming across as a picture perfect Barbie doll for so long. If she stays on the show for long enough, we might even get a great Erika Jayne villain edit – how epic would that be?
Verdict: Delivered
Most WTF Was Bravo Thinking: Eden Sassoon
Eden is without a doubt the worst Beverly Hills casting choice ever. Worse than Kathryn ‘Faye Resnick snatched my wig’ Edwards and Joyce ‘is a big fat pig’ Giraud combined. She was both contrived for the cameras and totally batshit crazy which just made for awkward viewing. She also had the same quality as Joyce, where you knew the other cast members were being mean to her but you couldn’t hate them for it because you know in real life that you’d bully her too. Eden was terrible casting and terrible script producing because she was brought in for a bad storyline about Kim Richards that shouldn’t even still be a thing at this point. Shame on you, Bravo.
Verdict: Dumpster
Most Welcome Addition: Dorit and PK Kemsley
Unlike Eden, Dorit was perfect casting; equal parts ridiculous, likeable, and hateable. Even better is that she comes as a package deal with PK, who turned out to be one of my favourite things about season 7. I’m a big fan of villainous Real Housewives husband-wife duos like Alex and Simon or Gretchen and Slade, so it’s fun to finally see the Beverly Hills version. Dorit and PK make great TV together and were the perfect punching bags for viewers, although I will say that I do think they got a bum rap. Dorit generally just did her job and by the end of #Pantygate I couldn’t pick a side, equally seeing where both she and Erika were coming from. As for PK, he isn’t quite the pig he was portrayed to be. Nobody really saw Erika’s snatch, and PK and Dorit were just engaging in some producer-prodded locker room talk when they half-jokingly acted like they had. I was also living for PK calling Erika “inherently cold” on the finale, but I enjoyed it even more when Eileen shut him down. If PK and Dorit stick around, which I believe they will, then I can’t wait to see more of their outrageous antics together.
Verdict: Delivered
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Most Unnecessary: Camille Grammer
Modern day Camille is so painfully boring and the current rumours of her returning full time next season have enraged me, as Lisa Rinna would say. This thirsty has-been showed up to every damn party and scheduled filming event she was invited to and still contributed absolutely nothing to the show. At least Taylor did what the producers told her to and mentioned Yolanda’s illness last year. The misguided love fans have for her is all nostalgia for Classic Camille, who has been dead and buried for YEARS. Just like Camille, Kyle and Lisa both change their on-camera behaviour to try and remain popular with the fans, but they still know how to jump into a fight or prod a storyline along. Camille wants the fame but refuses to work for it, and if Bravo stupidly decides to upgrade her again they will regret it.
Verdict: Dumpster
Jacques writes for SBS, Daily Mail Australia, and Idolator. You can follow him on Twitter at @arcadeyblog.
I seriously could not agree more with every single analysis of the key players and extras this season! Literally every part!
Rinna can drive me up a wall, but I also cannot get enough of her. Eileen is so level headed compared to the rest of the women, when all is said and done, all of her on camera choices seem authentic and none of her actions ever strike me as an attempt to snag a contract for next season. Kyle has always been so irritating for me, but this season I can’t really think of many times I rolled my eyes at her scenes in comprison to other seasons. Ive been saying LVP is only worthy of a friend role for quite some time. Hosting a few fancy events at her home for the fabulosity factor of the show and call it a day. How Camille’s little cameos even made the final cut … I have no idea. Completely unnecessary.
Thanks for sharing your takes on this season!
I agree, great article Jacques! I am pleasantly surprised as these type of articles are sometimes just fluffy junk. But this was bang on and so insightful.
I agree, except I am very tired of Kyle. Boring, not-so -smart, I’m tired of looking at her over done filler-face.
It wouldn’t be RHOBH without Vanderpump…she delivered, and stays. Eileen is the epitome of the FOH role, and should be demoted as such. She brings enough to stay, but with said demotion. Everyone else I agree about, and I’m glad to see positive things about Dorit (and P.K.) – I like them too, and think she deserves another season in a full-time spot.
AGree with you about LVP. There is no RHOBH without her. Eileen is still boring. Rinna is still bat-shit crazy though entertaining. Kyle will never say or do anything that will jeopardize her and Mauricio’s standing and money. I liked the addition of Dorit and PK, thought they both were funny.
As for as EJ, still dont’ like her. To me, she feels like she’s playing a parody of what she thinks a cool rich chick should be. And as for her upkeep, $40k per month? Can’t believe it costs that much to look like an aging drag queen.
If Eileen is boring what is Kyle? Agreeably kyle gives us access to great la real estate porn but otherwise I wouldn’t notice her and her friendship with lvp feels like a business relationship, eileen’so with Lisa Rinna & Erika feels real
Erica is a ridiculous character
Agree with Pocketbooklover. There is no RHOBH without LVP. If I hear Kyle mention her “scripted show” one more time I will scream.She is in to promote “The Agency, Scripted Show and her store.” Lisa R is a lunatic. She comes off as desperate. As for Erika I do not understand the fascination. Her glam squad does her no favors with the pile on of make up and I never heard of her until RHOBH..when she sings (if you want to call it that) you never hear her voice…Let’s put it this way..She is never going to sing “The way We Were” Her clothes in Hong Kong were ridiculous. She does come off like a drag queen. Eileen is boring but I thinks she means well.
I agree with you 100 percent! There is no comparison between LV and EJ. Lisa is very smart, funny, would never make a embarrassing scene and it just comes natural. EJ is a wannabe and is like hamburger compared to Lisa being a stake in every area. Especially class! I agree with everything else you said. I put Erika in the same place as Dorinda. Valuable for now. Rinna is good TV but want either just Rinna or just Eileen. Eileen is such a dedicated friend she is blind to anything Lisa or Erika do. Erika told her to STFU and she just took it. I would like to see her without the influence of the other two. Kyle is Beverly Hills! Born and raised, has the history of a child actress, is kind and down to earth. She sort of the glue. She can get along with most so it helps bring the ladies all together to film. She’s my fav of all Hws.Dorit and PK were fun to watch and Dorit handled herself very well during Hong Kong.She is equal to Erika in the value of the show. I like Camille but she’s so boring. I hope Bravo stops bringing wives back. Cameos are good enough. Oh yeah, Eden! I almost forgot. I guess that says it all.
I agee on LVP. With out her there really is no show. Erika is hardly the queen! She is a fake and a fraud. She hides her real life and I hope she and her horrible over done, tranny looking wardrobe are gone. Her husband was being sued for scamming clients out of multi millions of dollars from a class action suit. Word also is he is seeing someone else and she HIDES her Beverly Hills life. Eileen is a vile woman who is boring and her house as well as Rinnas are hardly what I consider glamourous for the Beverly Hills moniker. Nice, but nothing I can’t see driving down any street USA. I think Rinna, Davidson and Erika can be let go. All are boring and those staged little fights were so obvious. Yuck. Eden is to sensitive to run here. Kyle? She’s ok, I love when her and Lisa entertain and so the trip things. I’m ff nasty Erikas scenes and Rinna and Eileen. Kim needs to be gone too! Bring on some real glamour. Erika is cheap trash, Rinna acts like a drug addict and Eilleen is a woman who cheated and now thinks she can judge others? Please! LVP, Dorit and Kyle are the only fun ones.
Agree, agree, agree!
Spot on.
Well done and a great assessment, Jacques! I couldn’t agree with you more! Thank you!!
Bravo!!!!
I definitely agree that LVP should be a friend of. I like LVP especially when its just her and Kyle, but I don’t think she offers much anymore to be a full time housewife.
I am pretty damn sure LVP would never agree to that. It would be all or nothing!
I was with you 100% until your assessment of Dorit ans PK, they need to bensure dumped!
OMG! I should have proofread *Dorit and PK, they need to be dumped
I still think the worst cast for RHOBH has been Carlton Gebbia
Agreed
EXACTLY. Everything you said. Dump old Lady Vanderpump. Bore. They dont even film Ken anymore bc he is losing it. Like literally.
If we were dumping Old ladies from any franchise I’d vote for Vicki from RHOC.. I think LVP is more interesting and without her..I would not watch.
I disagree. Eileen seems to be reading from the most boring script ever written. Lisa Rinna is washed up. Her irrational behavior was not entertaining. It was irritating. If she returns I will not be watching. The whole line with pantygate was the most annoying ridiculous thing I’ve yet to endure. The only one I found I wanted to watch was Dorit. Good luck signing her for another season. I’m really just done with these housewives. The show has run its course. One word…. pathetic
I still think LVP can stay. The problem seems to be the rest of the cast. I first wrote cats instead of cast.
maybe my typo is perhaps better. I do like most of the RHOB cast. Camille:Eden: PK and His wide eyed wife: and KIM. Let them find their way to Never. Never land! I an old enough to remember ..Life Styles of the Rich and Famous.. That is what I like. Trips..fun..their charity things.. No more petty issues…aka “panty gate” I Kyle has her new show coming and she doesn’t need to be a feature on this show. If only she can devoid of herself of the “Kim” factor. Sorry, but do I think Kim has a story line? Eileen and Erika and of course Rinna.. Love them.. Tell it like it is and they do.. Unfiltered.
Dare I say it, but I found this season boring. Last season was good because I enjoyed seeing how batshit crazy Yolanda and her fake illness were – even though I hated her and had had enough by the end. But I actually miss Brandi. I did not like her, but I miss her. She brought something extra to the show. As far as the current housewives I agree with almost everything except I don’t think LVP should be demoted. I think they should get rid of Eden and bring back Brandi. And get rid of Camille and Kim, as you suggest. If they need a “friend” then I think Eileen is the mostly likely of the bunch to fill that role, even though she is lovely as a person I don’t think she adds much to the show.
Ah, the Daily mail. As a Brit, I understand that’s why most of his opinions are wrong… However I commend the writing, prose, grammar and spelling as it is above any Daily mail UK writer who clearly do not know how to proofread. Or write. (“I failed English? That’s unpossible!”)
Well, a few. I actually agree with most. However:
1. Sadly, as an LVP fan, I can’t disagree that much with your description. However, I will forever love her snark and cuntishness. And without the recurring backdrop of Villa Katie Price, I mean Rosa, we would not have a permanent real estate porn fixture… Just Mauricio and his occasional, “If Only,” moments. It’s still clear that he is staff and selling the property for a much wealthier clientele.
2. HOW DARE YOU INSULT ST. CAMILLE *blind love ensues*
3. Erika is, in fact, a cunt. I’ve decided.
Mark I thought you were going to be my British boyfriend until I read your comment regarding Erika. Now I must rethink everything…..
I dunno, there’s just something about her! I really WANT to like her, but it’s like I can see through a crack in the veneer.
For me it was at EJ’s birthday part and she dismissed her husband to greet somebody else. Basically walked away while he was still talking to her. If you can, go back and watch that episode again and see what I mean.
I seriously have had my fill of LVP and quit watching half way through this season. Couldn’t stand Dorit and PK by default. Absolutely agree with all the rest. Great read!
Erika – totally awesome and the crown holder.
Rinna – highly entertaining, a truth teller, unafraid, but hides her own life (don’t talk about Harry)
Eileen – a more discreet truth teller, level headed, but hides her own life (don’t talk about Vince)
Kyle – great hair, handsome husband, nice family but boring. Time to go.
LVP – tired hair, dated clothes, throws rocks but hides her hand. Throws good parties. Hides her own vulnerabilities and tries to exploit others’ instead (like her son’s adoption, a story line that disappeared as suddenly as it appeared). She is tired and needs to take a seat.
Eden – alternating between boring and completely nuts. Delusional. Buh-bye.
Dorit – a complete fraud. Entertaining, yes. But when it is all manufactured and manipulated, then I have to decline.
I agree 100%.
I don’t think Joyce was that bad, it was just wrong timing I assume.
Also never liked Eden, from the beginning because of the things she said in the interview. She was acting lik she was the major part that kept the drama going on, or the other stuff like when she gave Mac Miller a blowjob. It was classless and nutty. And those horrendous hashtags ? #EdensFiredStory.
Cannot deal with PK, he’s just creepy and gross. However I’m ok with Dorit, she talks a bit much with her faux accent but I don’t mind if she comes back (minus PK of course). In fact, if she can turn on LVP, that’d be great. I doubt that though.
I still can’t get over the fact that in the finale, she was stepping forward literally, attacking Rinna and then later told Rinna to back off. The irony and hypocrisy of it all.
Don’t really agree with any of this.
– LVP will always be the Queen whether or not she’s front and center. There’s no RHOBH without LVP. Period.
– I don’t get the over the top love for Erika. She’s okay. She’s a good addition to the show but hardly a Queen. Her singing career is bought by her husband and her paid gay sycophants are nauseating. The woman needs an entire team of makeup artists and stylists just to look halfway decent. And she still manages to miss the mark half the time.
– Don’t like Lisa Rinna either. She’s messy ands runs her mouth too much. Also hate how she laughs at everything she says in her talking heads like its the most hilarious thing ever. She’s not as clever or ‘edgy’ as she thinks she is.
– Hated Eileen last season but she was decent this season. She pretty much was on sidelines though so I’d give her FOH next season.
– Didn’t like Dorit at first but she grew on me. Love her fashion sense and scrappy nature. I think she was a good addition.
This is a rundown of the women on RHOBH that I completely agree with! Well, except for Eileen, she was totally the sniper from the side this season. I roll my eyes at her every time she speaks. She beats the horse dead. And Erika annoys me to no end. Such a fake and she’s a horrible dancer. ?
I agree 100%. This is Beverly Hills. I expect real
Wealth and glamour mega mansions (bye Rinna and Eileen) I expect killer wardrobes and class (bye Erika) and I expect great luxury and fun. Maybe our Erika, Rinna and Eileen on a RHO say? LA? None have the pinnache to be Beverly Hills.
But she really looks pregnant in the shot now… Am I crazy I see a belly protruding
Love this post. I may not “like” all Hesse characters, but I have to agree with your assessments. Thanks from sharing. And thank you to my idol, Tamara, (yes I share the same name) you are amazing to share your spotlight with other writers. Thank you.
I miss the original cast and the first two seasons. I don’t think LVP has lost her crown because I’d still rather see her parties and get daily going ons than any of the others. I think the problem is the producers trying to orchestrate conflict in every scene. It used to be maybe some drama at the season ending party but the producers want fighting each episode. That makes for an exhausting show that has very little to do with beautiful homes, nice restaurants and parties. Heck Ill even take Kyle doing the splits . I’m sorry I prefer the glitz and the glamour over the pot stirring and fake storylines!
You make a very good point about the manufactured drama that occurs in all of the franchises. I think viewers of all the shows are sick of it. It has become a contest of mean girls over the title of Queen Bee. It makes me sick to watch women in their 40s and 50s acting like high school kids.
I don’t get all of the Eileen hate. She’s the realest one of them all. She didn’t try to drag Erikas freakout into a storyline. She accepted the apology & then worked with her. A mature move that LVP or Rinna would never make. I do think she should leave the show to get away from this embarrassing trainwreck.
I hope Kim Richards is never on the show again. It’s enough. Tired & beat to death. No one cares. I can’t believe RHoMiami got cancelled & Kim is still crying about things that happened 4 years ago.
I hope Bravo gets a clue & does a major cast shake up. No more old storylines & one season flop casting.
With the exception of your Dorit and PK observations I wholeheartedly agree. Dorit’s shrill dumb blonde shtick combined with redfaced perv PK is just annoying with zero entertainment value for me. I won’t watch if they return.
Gone off Erika big time since she flew off the handle for an innocent remark Eileen made. Eden – I don’t know what she was doing on the show in the first place – boring. The ongoing “argument” between Rinna and Dorit about Dorit saying Rinna was a druggie was pathetic because it was so fake, she never said anything of the sort. I Really like Dorit and PK!
Great article Jacques. So on point. ??
I maybe would have a little sympathy for Mrs. Girardi if I didn’t believe she cultivated her garden of superficiality with specificity. It appears to me that if her needs were met (physically and emotionally), she would have no need to carry on as a clumsy sexualized spendthrift. I’ll wager she’s really quite lonely and unfulfilled and would trade her tired nympho shtick a heartbeat for a steady ringing of her bell. I wonder what her glam squad says about her privately.
We’re stuck with Kyle because she produces RHOBH and show business is her life. She will most likely allow Kim back next season so she doesn’t have to support her financially. Will she have successfully completed her community service by then or opted to serve jail time and just gettin it all behind her?
I love Rinna and Eileen. Would prefer to see less of LVP and even less Dorit & Co. Camille and Eden would not be missed one iota.
To be a fly on the wall and hear what her glam squad says about her would be amazing
I respectfully disagree on a few points:
I really don’t want Kim on the show unless she will be fighting with Kyle. They have good fights. WIth no Kim who is Rinna going to mess with? She only brought the drama this season because of Kim.
I like PK and Dorit and the only reason Ericka had a story is the panty thing so she should send them a gift. I find Ericka boring and highly overrated and there is a member of her glam squad that is one of the most annoying people on television. I don’t care if Ericka stays but I usually flip the channel during her scenes.
I don’t care if Eileen stays but I wish they would show Vinny more because he makes her more interesting.
Eden does need to pack up her crystals and go.
I do like LVP and would like her to stay a regular housewife. I think she brings enough to the table. If she manipulated the munch story that ultimately torpedoed Yo then that deserves a diamond for at least a few more seasons.
Loved it!! Erika is queen!
Just want to say that in that pic of the 6 of them, Lisa Rinna effed up big by wearing those clunky black shoes with the green dress. Just, no.
The dress is bad as well, it’s showing the whole top of her bra.
Lisa V. and Dorit lip sync for their lives. Lisa falls and can’t get up. Dorit is checked for scrappy hair. Both get dumped. Former cast member returns?
LOL
So good!
I loved this read.
LOVED this post and I agree with the assessment for the most part.
LVP has lost a lot of her luster in my opinion and I wish Adrienne Maloof would return to the show because unlike Kyle (who is my favorite) Adrienne is not afraid to call out LVP for her shadiness and Adrienne’s insane amount of wealth would force LVP to step up her game and master side snipping skills back to the level demonstrated in those first few seasons of the this show which is what made RHOBH epic.
Yes Rinna brings the drama but she’s becoming too Brandi-esque in her pot stirring which is not what viewers want for this particular franchise so if Rinna isn’t careful she will go the way of Brandi. This is not RHOA.
Adrienne brought a LOT to the show like the huge beautiful mansion, the private jet that whisked the women away to court side seats at the LA Kings basketball game, and Adrienne’s family owned casino in Vegas where they were practically sitting on stage at the Jay Z concert. Spa day was actually in Adrienne’s home where she has a full on spa! This is the level of opulence now lacking on this franchise.
Ericka is loaded but still too guarded to really let us in to all that she has, Kyle and Mauricio have had the burden of providing the real estate porn we crave and fun trips but Kyle will no longer take LVP to task for her side snipping as she did in early seasons. LVP still throws wonderful parties but when Adrienne was present she really had to go all out because could not be intimidated on any level and I missed that level of competition because it brought with it a constant show of wealth which, in theory, is what is supposed to set this franchise apart from others .
Standing applause, Jacques! Great recap. Would love to see more of your work here.