On the last episode of Tomato Talk, Water Brat encouraged me to get up off my big fat and head to the Chattahoochee Nature Center. It was a glorious day today so I eventually made my way there. There was miraculously no traffic on Lower Roswell Road, I think because it is under construction, so pretty much everyone avoided it. Even better, I found it to be a way better route to get to the East Cobb Trader Joe’s which is important because I normally go to the Buckhead one and well, Buckhead is essentially closed due to the huge fire that broke I-85 causing impassable conditions pretty much everywhere ITP. Anyway. It was a lovely trip.
At the native plant sale I bought 13 plants. Eleven were a dollar each!!! A DOLLAR!! Tomatoes were scarce, but I managed to get three as there were three types left. A Cherokee Purple, which I don’t really like that much, I just want a plain red tomato that you very much. But I bought one because they are the Louis Vuitton bag of tomatoes in these parts. Rich folks like to talk about the heirloom Cherokee Purple. I did carry a Louis on my trip to East Cobb, as one does. I felt like it made me look thinner. I don’t really like my Louis as a purse per se, but it certainly is needed when one is shopping in East Cobb. I’m grateful that a friend of mine set it to me when she upgraded. As soon as I got home I switched back to my ghetto back that is way more functional. Today, style was way more important than function. The second tomato is a Nepal. Never heard of it. It’s an heirloom. According to what I just read online Nepal plants can be kind of sensey. It will be dead by Tuesday. The last one was a Yellow Pear. It’s also an heirloom. I bet all the tomatoes in East Cobb gardens are heirloom. I hope my cheat plant, a hybrid that will likely be the sole survivor, doesn’t feel any garden classism by these purchases.
The next three plants in the dollar pile were all peppers. I have a thing for hot peppers now that I am an old crone. I blame menopause. It made me like spicy foods a lot more than ever. In fact nothing seems spicy enough. Maybe that’s it. I’m searching for the spice of my youth. How is that for a metaphor? The first pepper is a hybrid.
It’s a Tiburon pepper which is a mildly hot pepper ranked as 2,000 Scovilles. Never heard of it. Doesn’t sound very hot. My first pepper plant of the season was Tabasco (heirloom) and it’s 30,000 – 50,000 Scovilles. Ouch. I also got a Habenaro 100,000–350,000 Scovilles because it was there. And did I mention it was only a dollar? So because it is a bargain, I’m going to ingest a pepper that is 200,000 Scovilles and I’ll probably die. Serves me right. I will die of a mouth fire. Finally, I got a Biscayne Banana Pepper. Because I like to say Banana Pepper. And well, it was, say it with me, only a dollar. It’s not hot. It produces big banana fruit. How could I resist.
I bought two types of lettuce. I never grow lettuce, but… you know the drill. One was green and one was red and I am not getting up again to find out their real names. I’ll just call them Red and Hulk. I will never get to try them. I have chipmunks living in my garden. When I open the front door they go running. Alvin, Chip and Theodore will love them. Did I mention I have a bird named Louis? He’s a cardinal.
I went out to look at the pots again for the next part. The green one is Muir lettuce and the red one is Rouaix lettuce. It seems, ” Muir is an extremely heat tolerant variety and was the slowest to bolt in our summer trials. Technically a Batavian type, the light-green, extra-wavy leaves form dense heads at a small size and can be harvested as a mini or left to bulk up into large, heavy, full-size heads. The leaves are crisp and have excellent flavor.” It sure looks pretty. Sadly, I’ll never see that. The second is rouaix lettuce, nothing comes up. This seems impossible but it’s true. If it were to live, I’d have concerns about eating it.
I bought three pots of herbs. One is “Italian” Basil. It’s spindly. It will never make it. I can’t grow basil to save my life. Plus isn’t all basil Italian? Mais non, mon choux, because I also bought lettuce cabbage. It’s super tiny and half dead already. I might should bring it in and put it in a window or something. And finally, at least from the dollar bin, I bought chervil. Chervil is what rich people call parlsey. In rich people restaurants, they don’t allow parsley, it’s chervil. I cannot grow parsley. I have written before in the garden posts that I actually tried to figure out why I can’t grow parsley. I mean how hard can it be? I discovered that legend has it only evil people can grow parsley. Like witches and stuff. I’m not making this up, Google it yourself. I started feeling all morally superior about not being able to grow parsley. The asshole I was dating at the time said his parsley grew like weeds and it survived every winter and he didn’t see what my problem was. I found out about the evil stuff after we broke up 27 times. It made perfect sense. Then one year my parsley did great. That was probably the year I said that I hoped the bitch who is married to the asshole who got their money from lying to cancer patients about their medication’s uses, who used to be on RHONJ, cancer came back. As far as I know that wish was not granted. So anyway, I’m hoping if I speak French to the chervil, it will grow for me, evil or not.
On to the big ticket items. I bought a pot of chives that was half dead for FOUR dollars because I had not found the dollar bin yet. I think it might can be revived. And finally, I bought a FIVE DOLLAR plant called a rattlesnake master, because it has white blooms and I liked the name. It seems the name comes from when Native Americans used the root as an antidote for rattlesnake bites and also for making shoes? It looks a lot like a thistle plant and is an aggressive self seeder. I love me an aggressive self seeder.
So that was my gardening field trip of the week. I suppose I will plant tomorrow.