Because I have so many things to record on Sunday nights, I have to record Feud at a later time. Last night I must not have set it to record because it didn’t. I’m going to recap it from the On Demand option. This option doesn’t usually allow Pausing so I won’t have time to comment much. Even though I like American Crime much better, I do still enjoy watching this show and was super disappointed that it didn’t record. So I will do my best to muddle through. Please remember I am neither a gay male nor eleventy billion years old, so I have no prior knowledge of this Feud and have no idea what I am talking about.
It is the eve of the preview of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? when the episode begins and the word on the street is, “It sucks.” But first, Bette meets her new agent a twenty-two year old whippersnapper. Neither Bette nor Joan have any upcoming offers. They are both shocked by the news. The 22 year old suggest dinner theater to Bette. DINNER THEATER! They have been told that Baby Jane has been panned and that their careers are in the toilet. This did not go over well with either one of them. Joan fires all of her agents on the spot. Bette fires the kid.
I’m forced to watch ads on FX’s On Demand. This is going to take forever. Most of the major networks at least limit their commercials On Demand. And I’ve never understood not being able to rewind. The only effect it has on commercials would be you might have to watch them again. This episode is 68 minute long and more than twenty minutes is commercials! Le sigh.
MAMACITA! Dancing and vacuuming is unexpected from her! #Love Bob the producer’s assistant director pitches a movie role to Mamacita she wrote with Joan in mind hoping she will help her convince Joan to do it. Mamacita is totally on board. She gives a patriotic monologue about America being the land where anything is possible. And thus a mini women’s right movement begins.
Joan and Mamacita go out to a fancy dinner. Joan downloads the Maitre D on her entire evening including going to the preview for Baby Jane because of her serious dedication to her product. Bette has skipped off to Maine according to her. Joan says that Bette was too afraid to face the music. Joan is obsessed with whether people are noticing her in the restaurant. She is sure they are all waiting for her to fail. The conversation with Mamacita and Joan was hysterical. Mamacita begins her pitch to Joan but she is not down with a female director. Mamacita doesn’t press the issue. But I suspect she won’t give up.
Joan takes a huge swig from a flask before going to the première. The audience loved it and gave it a standing ovation. Joan is mobbed with autograph seekers. Joan and Mamacita return to the same restaurant after the première to a standing ovation.
Joan is unhappy with the reviews. She is furious that Bette is getting better reviews. Not knowing who gets nominated makes this show way more interesting for me. Hedda assures Joan that they will both be nominated. Joan drinks.
Bob goes to talk to Jack about his next movie. Bob thinks he is ready for bigger movie. Jack insults the hell out of him telling him he is a journeyman and a loser. Bob declines to direct any of the movies Jack pitches. Bob leaves seemingly unbothered. Jack telling him he will be back.
Pauline comes to talk to Joan and Joan gives the script back unread. Mamacita is in the room. I can’t wait for her to help out Pauline. Joan says that women can’t get ahead because production companies won’t finance female directors. Pauline says she just needs experience. Joan says she is not turning her down because she is a woman, she is turning her down because she is a nobody and she has too few chances left to make one of her last chances, her first. She tells Pauline not to grab for too much, or she will seem ungrateful for what he has. Mamacita bides her time.
The studios felt that it was a fluke that Baby Jane did so well. There was no influx of offers for Joan or Bette or women in general. Joan’s drinking became worse. She did not handle aging out of the industry well. Jack shows up to Joan’s house to ask her why she is not promoting the picture. He wants the two of them to go on the road. Joan is drunk, or as Jack says pickled at 11 a.m. Joan is freaking out because she thinks Bette is going to get the Oscar nomination. Jack says that Bette can act rings around Joan. He says Joan needs to be out there sucking cocks and shaking hands with everyone whether she is nominated or not.
Bette has been doing appearances and all over the place. When asked where Joan was, she would reply, “On the beach, dead.” Bette says on the talk show she trashes Jack for not wanting to finance a picture with two old broads. Joan watches all of Bette’s appearances with a cocktail. Joan drunkenly tells Bette that if she doesn’t stop calling her an old broad on TV or she will sue her for slander. Bette says half the success of the film is because of her. Joan tells her that in that case, she’d appreciate her enjoying it half as much.
Pauline shows Bob her script and confesses that she wants to direct it. Bob says he will consider producing it. Despite his philandering ways, Bob seems down with the women’s movement. Later, Bob meets up with Bette on the set of Perry Mason where Bette is filming. They go out to dinner where Bette pitches a script she read. She wants to play twins. She wants him to direct. He’s not interested in another movie with two fighting women. Plus, she’s already done a twin role.
There was a scene of my golf course that made me miss all my Izods from the eighties. And also longing for them to fit me today. The guy on the course was apparently Frank Sinatra he is directing in a western. Sinatra is apparently a divo and an asshole. Later Jack insults Bob again. He tells him he should not expect a nomination. He’s just not the kind of guy people recognize. When Bob asks if Jack has the potential for greatness, he says no. Bob is falling apart. He takes it out on Pauline and lays into her after she finds out that he was using her script for scratch paper.
Mamacita and Pauline meet in a diner. Mamacita orders a coke. Pauline says it will give her diabetes and she says that Joan doesn’t allow sugar in the house so she has her fun while she can. Pauline is deflated. She no longer believes in her dream of directing The Black Slipper. But Mamacita regales her with stories from the immigration office. Mamacita says there are more than a million more women than men now. Also many have shorter lives and many die in war. She says in 1970 there will be six million more women than men. She tells Pauline to keep her head up, her day is coming. Did I mention I love Mamacita?
Joan wakes up in a stupor to the sound of a phone being off the hook. If you are young, you may not know that sound but she is annoying. But why is it happening now? I usually stops after a while. She wanders the house to find every phone off the hook. I was so worried about Mamacita before she showed up! I thought she had died or something.
It’s Oscar nomination day, she wanted to be woken up at 5 am to hear it. Mamacita says she wants her to sit down. The scene goes to a long shot of the house with Joan screaming, NOOOOOOOOOOO! I take it she didn’t get a nomination at all? Perhaps the previews for next week will confirm this for the uneducated. Actually, it said to stay tuned for the previews but there were none on the On Demand verison. This was a fun episode!
So experts, what happened?