I feel like tonight’s show is going to be wrapping up a couple of fake storylines. Porsha’s fake relationship, and Phaedra’s fake storyline she cooked up with Phaedra’s ex-employee. Then we will have Kenya and her push/pull romance with the raging lunatic. The last five or six times I’ve posted about Matt, it has been because of concerns about his mental state. I’m truly worried for Kenya. This episode might set him off even further.
Oh I forgot about Cynthia. Bless her heart, she has a good storyline tonight even if it is an promotion for her business, that is her real life so you go girl. She’s getting Noelle ready to model her Cargo bags. I love her cargo bags by the way, but I am covered all the way when it comes to luggage and hers are a bit over priced. Like her sunglasses. Sheree came in with Kairo to rehearse for his first runway show. Kairo can’t walk. All Sheree wants to ask tons of questions about press and compensation. The compensation is the experience and the opportunity. And a very expensive backpack because Cynthia is being very kind. Sheree wants Kairo and Noelle to exchange numbers so she can help him with his walk. Cynthia is not happy about that. She doesn’t want Noelle getting too tight with Kairo.
Sidenote: This episode already feels like slapping together a bunch of stuff out of order to get it all in.
Later, Phaedra shows up to Lake Bailey in jeans and on one piece swimsuit with very high cut legs. I thought Shun was tryna help this woman dress? Everytime she has a scene her cul de sac fills up like she’s throwing a house party according to neighbors. All of that disruption and this is how she looks? They go downstairs to a beautiful room with a beautiful white couch that I noticed immediately because I’m currently looking to replace mine. Cynthia says she bought it from Kenya. Phaedra says in a talking head that she should not have done that because Matt may have a tracking device in the pillow and show up looking for his lovebug. It was a pretty stupid joke at the time, but these days, I wouldn’t put anything past him.
Cynthia wants to get to the bottom of why Phaedra did such a u-turn on her relationship with Kenya. I am not sure that really is a swimsuit. It has sleeves. Whatever it is, it’s THOTwear unbecoming of a good Christian mother in her 40s. Cynthia lets it slip that Porsha told everyone her divorce was final. Phaedra says she is divorce. Phaedra calls Kenya evil. Because Phaedra is one of the good people, y’all. Don’t get me started on people who point fingers at others calling them evil.
Porsha tells Phaedra she is writing a “baby-nup.” Phaedra tries to dissuade Porsha from having a baby at all. She thinks she needs to get married first. Then she hangs up on her. I took a coffee break during all the baby nup crap. I’m really sleepy.
Che, Kenya’s cousin, comes over to visit Kenya. Kenya needs a listening ear to hear about the divorce party disaster. Kenya is still wishy washy about Matt. She seems unwilling to never speak to him again. She has GOT to draw the damn line. Nothing good comes from being friends with exes, especially abusive ones. You have to let go before you can move on.
Kandi stops by Mama Joyce’s house where the OLG is there cooking. The OLG seems to be feeling some kinda way that Bravo would not let them go to Maui. But Mama Joyce wants to get right on Phaedra, so she asks how that divorce is coming along. I used to hate Mama Joyce but now she’s my favorite person on this whole franchise. Kandi tells her mama that Porsha let it slip that Phaedra is already divorced. Mama Joyce must read here because she asked Kandi if Apollo mentioned anything about being divorced. Mama Joyce knows better. Dinner looks amazing despite the tin foil baking pans. #HugePetPeeve
Kandi is planning an open house for the OLG Restaurant for friends and family. And unbeknowst to her, Apollo’s latest side piece.
The Cargo Fashion Show
Kairo is late for his wardrobe and makeup check because he had to wait for his mommy. Seriously? Cynthia has selected a grunge vibe for her location, it’s in an underground warehouse sort of space. Very urban. When Sheree wandered into the backstage area and greets Cynthia she says that when she walked in she heard water above, like there is sewage on top. I don’t think this momager situation is going to be her thing. Kairo would have been fired at least twice so far. Frick and Frack are not going to make it. Cynthias event coordinator approaches Sheree and asks if she like the location. She says “it’s different, where’s the air though?” He replies that she’s fanning herself that’s the air. Then he points out that her client was very late to wardrobe. She lies about when he arrived . When he walks off she acts like HE was coming for her. She says he chose the wrong momager for that. She is so clueless. So very clueless. Kairo will never have any success if she insists on being attached to it. Ain’t nobody got time for her.
Kenya arrives in a white lace jumpsuit. She acts like she had no idea where filming was happening. Why the hell is she wearing that? She is unhappy with the venue as well. Kandi comes in with Riley and she loves the place. Bob is there and he is sweating more than usual.
Noelle did great on the runway. Kairo cannot walk. Did I mention that? He gets a big reaction for being shirtless. No one noticed his bag. Especially not Kenya. After the show Noelle says to Cynthia, “Thank you so much for the opportunity, I had an amazing time.” Because she’s a well-mannered professional. We didn’t see Kairo or Sheree thank Cynthia for the opportunity. They must have cut that part out. Or something.
Phaedra has asked her attorney friend to play along in this scene as these three join together to disrespect Kandi in this scene, as the good people are wont to do. Phaedra even greets Johnnie by calling him a “good ole country boy.” This is why she must help him over come the evil Kandi Burruss. In her confessional, Phaedra says she has no issues with Kandi. Sometimes I long for the Old Testament days when lies like that would have God SMITE you down. She says that because Johnnie sought out her advice, part of the oath that she took when she became an attorney was that it is up to her to make sure he gets placed in the right hands. That too is a lie.
Here is the oath that she took, “I, Phaedra Parks, swear that I will truly and honestly, justly and uprightly conduct myself as a member of this learned profession and in accordance with the Georgia Rules of Professional Conduct, as an attorney and counselor, and that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States and the Constitution of the State of Georgia. So help me God.”
Nothing in there about colluding with your ex-besties former employee to be sure that he gets on TV to trash talk her nor any obligation whatsoever to be helpful in his quest to file suit against your former bestie. Nope. Nary a word. She might should have revisited the oath before she filed those divorce papers though. Dear God, this idiot is saying that it was his idea to do a restaurant. He claims that he came up with the concept for the OLG Restaurant. This kids is stupid. He also says her play, A Mother’s Love, ABOUT KANDI’S LIFE was his idea they stole from him as well. How the hell this kid gonna open a restaurant with Kandi’s family and put on a play about Kandi’s life? In addition to Phaedra and Johnnie looking like fools, poor ole Oscar is becoming collateral damage himself.
It is Kenya’s dog, King’s birthday, and she is off to a high end dog accessory store to buy him a present. I could have sworn Twirl was from the same litter. How is it not her birthday as well? Matt shows up with flowers for Kenya. Kenya used the dog’s birthday as an excuse for him to film. Oh Kenya.
To be fair, this seems to have been filmed out of order. Kenya brings up his conversation with Cynthia which was weeks ago. Matt starts in on Kenya asking her about her part in the downfall of the relationship and wonders why it is always about him. She excuses herself and goes to the hallway where production is to speak with them, presumably about Matt being off script. She was planning a scene where they agreed to move on and be friend and he wants to call her out. She’s not having it. So they end up in a hallway where Matt starts screaming, “Let me point out some of your faults!” Kenya says, “Do you see how you are always acting like you don’t have control over yourself. I can’t with you because it’s always THIS! Everyone tries to talk to you and you always do this. You ruin everything that’s good.”
Matt says that Kenya ruined everything. Kenya says she was there for him and did nothing to him that could have permanently changed his life including sending him to jail for his behavior. Maybe not but that is what Peter is planning to do now. Matt says he will be in jail and Kenya will be single and miserable so they are even. He just wants her to apologize to him. Kenya asks if before she met him was she single and miserable? Or does he think another motherfucker will come through the door? Matt says, “Didn’t we have sex in my truck the other night because you wanted to?” Ah… the discomforts of dating a homeless guy.
Matt breaks down crying. Oldest trick in the abuser book. Moments earlier he was raging in her face, and now he has drawn her right back in. Kenya makes him look at her and she says (probably for the millionth time) that she is sorry she hurt him, but she can’t do this anymore. Matt is crying because she said she was open to someone else coming into her life. He’s angry again. He tells her to go get whoever she needs to get to make her whole because he is not the guy.
In the final scene with have a confessional audio over Kenya walking away. “This is a toxic relationship and I need to grow and move on. Part of that growth is knowing that I need to just walk away.”
Except she doesn’t. She takes him to Sheree’s housewarming party.
Next week: Frick and Frack celebrate Phaedra’s birthday. Apollo calls Todd and Peter and tells them that when Phaedra was recently up there to visit him, she told him that everything was put on hold and nothing was happening with the divorce. Shereen, Apollo’s finance shows up at the friends and family party at the OLG restaurant. Which one is she, friend or family? I heard that Bravo had to rent her a vehicle and get her some designer clothes for this scene. I’ve been ready for this scene since it was filmed.