Catfish: Telizza & Shai

Wednesday is my favorite day to recap lately, I’ve got Imposters, Stranded With A Million Dollars, and Catfish.  I had so much to do today, but there is always tomorrow. Unless there is no tomorrow and it that case I had a really good last day.

This episode is good already because the names are stupid. I always say the stupider the name, the stupider the show.  Telizza lives in Chicago, is 18 and broke up high school boyfriend of four years. Then a girl named Shai sent her a random social media hit. Okay, can we stop right here and just uncover that it’s the boyfriend?  Or a chick feeding her information to her boyfriend? Because duh.  Moving on.

Shai refuses to video chat. Nev points out that Shai has all of Telizza’s personal information and he’s worried she could be getting set up for blackmail by someone she knows. We meet Telizza who tells us her daddy named her in the hospital room while eating pizza.  She also inadvertently tells us, “shallow gene pool.” Like I said, this will be good. Telizza has decided to go gay for Shai. That sentence works better if you know that Shai is pronounced as Shay. Max does his own version saying, ” Will Shai be bae? or will Shai be cray?” Nev is convinced it is someone she knows.

The boys arrive at Telizza’s house to find her with her friend Antonese. Right away Max calls her suspect number one. Apparently Shai is a stripper. That comes from Antonese who is doing all the talking. She’s down with Shai too it seems. Shai gets mad at Telizza if she doesn’t text her right back. Their texts are all basically sexts at this point. Antonese is jealous of Shai.

This is apparently Telizza’s coming out episode.

Nev’s wife needs to feed him a sandwich. He’s getting scary small.

The Ridiculous Google Searching

They discover that she is using a text app from a landline. The area code for that is from Kansas and not Missouri as she claims. On her Facebook page it lists that she recently started working at a strip club in Kansas City, Missouri. So the boys call the bar. They say she doesn’t work there. Everything is a lie. They look at the friends list and she’s friends with a Niecy, who is Antonese.  This is part of the Murder She Wrote episode where they try to make you think you know who the killer is, but it’s not really who you think.

The boys call Shai and she doesn’t answer. Because, burner phone. She immediately calls Telizza though. Nev convinces her to meet up. They all get ready to fly to Kansas City. They are happy that it’s not Antonese. Telizza has never been on a plane. Shai calls and says she’s not really in Kansas City, she’s in Brooklyn. WTF?  The guys are not convinced she is in Brooklyn. The producers are trying to switch the flights. The thing is the producers are always on the ground first, so this is just scripted dramatics. She’s probably in a pizza place on the southside eating deep dish. They are on the way to Brooklyn via Kennedy airport.

The guys drive to a bad section of Brooklyn where they find Shai at the end of a street that is shut off by a tall chain link fence with barbed wire on top. There is not a potted plant or a freshly painted wall, or a park or a large body of water in sight. We are totally off the script, y’all.

They get out and meet, Makeda. Makeda is twenty and lives at home with her mother. She made the page to spy on her ex-boyfriend so she could catch him cheating. She just started adding random people to fill up the page and made up the fake job and city. The she and Telizza started talking. Things got out of control. She doesn’t have feeling for Telizza at all. She’s lying. She is giving very specific sexual acts she wants to perform on her. She says she did it just to make Telizza feel better about herself. You can tell Shai likes her. Nev talks about her graphic sexual conversations. Shai is apparently in the closet. They call it a day.

The next day, Shai comes to the hotel. Clearly, she doesn’t want her mother knowing about this. Shai admits that she has feelings for Telizza.  Telizza is happy about that. Shai is afraid of being rejected by her family and friends. Telizza is in exactly the same situation. Shai lives in a shelter with her whole family.

Makeda tells everyone that she was homeless and none of the people she knows really knows about that. Telizza says she is a good friend and she won’t leave her.

On the six month check-in, Nev and Max find Telizza and Makeda both in Chicago. Makeda is visiting for the weekend. They talk every day and claim to be just friends. Telizza is in college. Makeda is leaving for school in the fall. Makeda still lives in a shelter but the family will finally move out in two months. The two girls battle over pizza, New your pizza over Chicago style. Clearly, New York is the best. Right?

Finally! A happy ending!  Antonese must be SO PISSED.

Thanks for reading with me. I see you all out there. Don’t be shy about posting. What’s the worst that can happen?