Yesterday, Bob Whitfield posted the following on his website. I received an email from Katy with the link. You can read her comments on the last episode (and my purple pen) here.
HER
My Dearest Woman
I am wrong. I made trivial the abuse of HER in front of the world. I am no monster. I allowed truth, comedy and conjecture to convey an image of myself that I would never condone. I know how emotionally charged anger can inflict damage to someone you hold dear. My mockery is shameful and no longer funny. One instance of psychological abuse may not condemn someone to death, yet it would be no instances that makes a man wholesome; by being thoughtful in words and actions; being responsible in procedure and measures; being a protector, provider and provisioner for his family; and to show proper restraint with committing actions that lack virtue;
I laugh because it feels better than crying. However, I must cry for forgiveness. My humility now is true to the pride that I take of holding HER to the highest esteem as mother or as wife, as confidant or as friend .
This ode is true…
I’ve noticed that often times my opinion on a show or a subject tends to color the comments here a bit. So in this instance, I’ve opted to refrain from comment in order to get everyone’s true opinions. At least for a bit. I may join you in comments later.
Abusers are the best at apologies. They’ll apologize so good that you feel quite unreasonable for not forgiving them.
IKR???
Ain’t that the truth Johnny my abuser cried more tears than the water in the river Thames and then continued to abuse me for another two years til I managed to save enough money to escape. Denial, apology, abuse, the unholy trilogy from the crocodile cunt that he was. Too little too late bob you cretin.
Men can change they often do I’m sorry yours did not but don’t condemn the rest
Yeah when someone tries to murder you twice and then beats your child you kinda get a bit jaded and don’t really enjoy being belittled by internet strangers.
I’m well AWARE all men are not like that and do not need to be told. But many are as we see on the news, Tv and read on blogs every effing day. I bet there’s many a lady reader/contributor here who’s experienced mental and physical abuse – probably both.
Your anger may be justified, but sounds like you could use some therapy because that kind of anger towards a stranger isn’t a good thing & before you take my head off I speak from experience. The anger you show here shows you have never honestly dealt with what you have been through. There is life after abuse it’s better to be a powerful message than respond to people this way use your voice to put out a positive message not for an argument just saying.
Seriously? Cary is just fine. In your first post here you want to take someone’s inventory? Wow.
Thanks Dearest Tamara, you are absolutely spot on I am perfectly fine darling. I repaired my life just fine over time without the need of any back seat driver therapist.
Shoe person needs to take several seats, maybe a whole theatre worth. Pah. Judgemental cockwomble.
And as an aside I do volunteering to help women who have been in abusive relationships, we help each other find them safe accomodation, hospital appointments, and various other activities to empower them. 99 percent of them I have found do not want to speak to Therapists they prefer practical, real life solutions and advice and support from other women who have had similar experiences. And in the UK we aren’t big on Therapy, we tend to just get on with shit. So jog on Iv’e Been In Her Shoes.
P.S. It’s I’ve not Iv’e… maybe learn to spell before you hand out unwanted and unsolicited advice.
Caryll.
AH so it’s Caryll G. LOL. I was wondering about the llg after Cary. Unfamiliar with the spelling. Sorry.
Ah it’s ok I’ve been called a lot worse 🙂 x
So true.
Did Bob graduate from Stanford as an English Major? Ghost written apologist. IMHO
This. I wonder who wrote it.
Ditto
Right? No way he could compose that without shorting out the computer from sweat dripping into it.
Not commenting on the apology but Stanford doesn’t bestow degrees on idiots and it is a rare bird that goes back to college to get a degree. I am not going to belittle his academic success.
I think it sounds like someone trying to sound like someone with a Stanford degree. Which puts me in the “Bob didn’t write this camp” as well. But for different reasons.
I had commented that it sounding mocking, I found nothing sincere in the apology. I still give him credit for returning to school, I wish more athletes would set that example.
He’s mocking his P.C. apology by writing it thus.
That is what I am getting from this, I think he is mocking people.
While I applaud Carlos for being a great producer, I sometimes feels like he is heartless and only cares about the ratings and a juicy season. Carlos has worked with some high profile women and have put them in very uncomfortable situations just for tea and ratings, whereas Mona Scott young has also and treated them with way more respect compared to the rookies. That scene in the car with Bob and sheree was heartbreaking to see and I know Bob would take it back if he could, this season was so low on so many levels and I just hope without all the lies and fighting that Bob and Sheree can just be great co parents and let what is meant to be just be.
Someone on twitter tagged Carlos how sad it was and Carlos replied “my favorite season ever.” I thought that was tacky…
I’m sure it is Carlos’ favorite season. And Andy’s too.
word on Mama Joyce streets. This may be Carlos’s last season. So sip that tea….
I’ve never seen so many semicolons.
and in all the wrong places! Just enough to make it appear to be self written by Bob.
I really think he was abusive to Sheree. When Sheree was acting in season 3, she was not that good and her tears seemed genuine on the last episode.
I think Sheree thought she hit the jackpot with a baller and the relationship turned really bad.
I do not think Sheree or Bob ever had any interest in dating or getting back together romantically, but I do think they put their differences aside for their kids as well as for the show, for Sheree to have a story line.
Some have said Sheree set this entire thing up to get back at Bob for the Iyanla fix my Life episode they filmed where Bob came off looking better than her. I don’t see that. I think when Kenya mentioned how Sheree had been abused, production jumped on that and stirred the pot with that while in Hawaii and that is when Bob’s joking side left and the bitter ex husband pissed at the gold digger, abusive side entered.
I think Sheree is too strong to be someone’s arm candy, typical baller wife, but she has a taste (thirst) for nice things like sports cars, designer hand bags and mansions and the relationship between her and Bob was very toxic. They are not a good mix.
ICYMI Here is the recap from the ilanya fix my life episode.
http://tamaratattles.com/2013/04/20/iyanla-tries-and-fails-to-fix-sheree-whitfields-angry-bitterlife/
I don’t believe he is that remorseful or holds Sheree in such high esteem if he can’t even address HER directly by name. This is like the writing equivalent of avoiding eye contact.
Which eye?.. Sorry must be the antihistamine I took!
/giggles inappropriately
/side eye?
If it hadn’t been on film, would he ever have apologized?
The fact that he waited until after the episode aired to offer up some sort of apology (?, still not sure wtf he is saying) says it all. He could’ve been all over social media since the day it was filmed, retracting and trying to fix it. He has not. He waited until after public opinion was formed and he found himself skewered. Bob is an ass.
This is the man who stuck out his tongue and ran off in a court of law. This is the man who looked Sheree in the eye at the park and said”I’m never giving you any money” that he owes her ever! This is the man who can barely put a full logical sentence together on his best day. Yet this man expects us to believe he came up with this idea of writing an apology and these words that are used in this written apology?…. it’s a ? ?
If it’s legit then good on him but I think this was forced and definitely “ghost written” with Bob sitting at the table making jokes and pissing production off! This is just my opinion of the Bob I have seen on the show. I’m not a fan of Bob and he made me feel sorry for Sheree! Who I’m also not a fan of but would never want any woman to go through that. Been there, got out and stayed out. It breaks my heart for the women who can’t easily get out of that kind of situation and Sheree used a possible reconciliation with this idiot as a story line?
A sorry excuse all around. Bob ‘pology 101.
Talk is cheap but I’m hoping for his sake and for Sheree’s sake and especially their children that he will put the actions behind his words. Time will be the only way to tell if he’s really sincere. The apology is a good start Bob now walk the talk only then will the real healing for all involved to start.
Someone should alert Bob that his girlfriend put this apology letter out there for him. Then tell the girlfriend Bob knows so she can run.
What a bunch of pseudo-intellectual gobbledy gook. Trying way too hard to be deep/poetic so doesn’t seem sincere. He should have went with the standard PR “I’m ashamed that I let the everyone down and most of all my children and their mother. I’ve matured since those days and ask for forgiveness” etc type of apology.
Never will happen.. Think he is “hit and run” type of guy. Only people I feel bad for are the kids of Sheree and Bob’s marriage.. SAd to have Mom tell you all the time “Dad never gives me a dime to raise you” IMO
Bob actually OVERPAID on child support.
Glad to hear! Sheree, I thought said the opposite. But , as I have discovered .. lies are rampant on reality shows.
I guess people have nothing better to do, How can anyone say that this is a ghost written fake apology. You people have no idea and when you have no idea…silence is golden!
And where does your vast well of knowledge on the subject come from?
Run sheree run!!!
I believe it; until the next time it happens; then HIM will try and blame the hate; the rage; the cuts and blood; bruises and tears; on something HER made him feel he had no choice but to do…..
I believe it; until their children stand over her grave; sit behind him in a courtroom; excusing his laughter and smiles because it is easier then tears….
I believe that when anyone puts their behavior on your plate, makes it your responsibility, you should ask yourself frequently what will this cost me? How have I valued myself so low, what is my worth to myself and the world? Then remind yourself of that as you try to look at yourself in the mirror.
TO use the vernacular “coin, honey”….
Who knows if he is sincere? There’s no real way of knowing. Having been abused myself, I can forgive but can never forget. I don’t know that I could be on a television show with my past abuser. Having children together may have made a difference in their decision to film together, but I don’t know. I know it took me a long time to get over my abuse and was constantly on guard for years after, always looking behind me. I would literally shake if I even saw a truck that looked like his. The threats he made were as bad as the beatings. He apologized but turned into a psycho because after the last incident I knew I had to get out and he realized I was never coming back. So much for his “heart felt” apology.
That “apology” doesn’t even make sense. Also – did anyone else notice that he apologized for laughing? But not for having abused her in the first place? He doesn’t get it.
Run Sheree, run.
Poorly written and insincere.
Claiming ignorance here. I’m confused. Is he saying sorry for abuse? What he laughed at? Just kidding about abuse? Laughing and apologized for laughing? Maybe since I don’t give two shits about this fake storyline, Sheree insulted Kenya’s housewarming, I’m tainted by everything. I’m gonna read again and see if I care any more. Just ugh.
I’d bet the last dollar in my pocket, these words are not his.
Curious, does Sheree have any fans?
I bet she does now.
I’m a huge fan of her “fight” with Marlo.
I wish it had been titled She instead of Her (is that terrible?)
OMG Bob, I am sorry that you have to be sorry. Your apology stinks. Get to it in a basic english.
I am sorry for what transpired on the latest episode of rhoa. I have discussed and apologized to Sheree profusely, I begged her forgiveness . I hope she will forgive me (she is chewing on it now), as well as the viewers. It’s no laughing matter, I was wrong , I am sorry. Never again.
Sounds better in my opinion. All the best.
I can totally see why she loves him now that was so sweet and you know it took him forever to put it together bless him
You know that took him forever I can totally see why she loves him now that was so sweet and intelligent
It sounds like he abused a thesaurus while writing this, trying to sound overly intelligent. You don’t sound intelligent, though, when you misuse so many of the words.
I have no idea if he’s sincere, I haven’t followed RHOA in a while, but I do have experience with abusers and they rarely, if ever, change and are usually very slick with the apologies and grand gestures when they want something.
He’s sorry he got CAUGHT. He’s sorry he showed who he really is on camera. I never really liked Sheree, but I sure do understand her a lot better now.
That’s not your voice, Bob, nor your sentiment, in my opinion.
Word salad. Abusers love to string lots of big, formal-sounding words together. Their random word choices make what they’re babbling about hard to follow and leave you too confused to respond so you just accept the “apology” out of fatigue and the need to put it behind you.
Beware of the word salads that leave you in a fog of confusion and wear you down.
Sincere apologies are clear and this was a rambling mess of nonsense.
Flashback to my last LTR. My preferred method of correspondence is email. After most of his, I’d wonder WTF that was supposed to mean.