THE VOICE:  THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

By Erica

Hey all!  It’s been a long strange week of Blind Auditions.  This Thursday episode sure threw my schedule off, but I do like that the Tuesday episode was only an hour for the Blinds.  Two two hour episodes back to back is sometimes too much.  I did check, and next week has Monday at 2 hours, and the Tuesday episode is only an hour.

THE TALENT

I was in a mood when I sat down to watch the Thursday episode of the Voice.  Partly because I realized that I didn’t take notes Monday and Tuesday like I usually do.  It was also because the wine I just opened is bad, dammit.  I blame Faye Dunaway.

But in the brief hour we had, there were performances that picked my mood up!  Then I reviewed the past week (Thanks, TIVO!) and got a bigger boost.  While I don’t think there was an artist that simply blew me away and made me think “They just won” like Alison Porter (season 10) or Jordan Smith (season 9), keep in mind I felt the same way last season and so it is NOT a bad thing!  There are glimmers of greatness. Sundance wasn’t even  in my top 3 on the week he auditioned!  

Talent to check out:

Stephanie Rice:  Texarkana, Texas Song: Piece by Piece

Chair turns:  Gwen, Blake Team: Gwen

“Piece by Piece” is by Kelly Clarkson, about her father’s abandonment and how her own daughter has a much better father.  Stephanie took her own experiences with her parents and clearly put it into her performance.  Her father is a Baptist minister, and when she came out, her parents disowned her (literally had her pack everything and dropped her off).  Listening to her, I am reminded of the Carrie Fisher quote “Take your broken heart and make art”.   Kelly Clarkson was watching, and basically lost her shit over Stephanie on Twitter!  (Episode 1 – 2/27)  

Autumn Turner:  Montclair, New Jersey Song: Last Dance

Chair turns:  ALL FOUR Team:  Alicia

OK, admittedly song choice was a biggie on this one.  She did Donna Summer and disco proud!  People hardly ever pick disco, at least as far as I remember.  Plus, it starts out slow, and then picks up in tempo so it really gave the coaches a great sampling of her abilities and range.  Smart choice!  I don’t think she realized that she got a four chair turn until she finished the song – she looked surprised right when she finished singing.  She’s a figure skating coach, and she also has some killer legs! (Episode 2 – 2/28)

Casi Joy:  Kansas City, Missouri Song: Blue

Chair Turns:  ALL FOUR Team: Blake

Aaaand here is Blake’s ultimate country person this season!  LeAnne Rimes won a bunch of awards in 96 with this song when she was 13 and relevant, so it is impressive that Casi Joy matched that performance and made it her own.  Her voice was so pure, even when yodeling.  She also seemed very comfortable on stage, and it is apparent that she works hard on her craft.  She’s definitely going to be one to watch, and one to beat. (Episode 3 – 3/2)

Lilli Passero:  Los Angeles, California Song:  A Love of My Own

Chair Turns:  Gwen, Alicia, Blake Team: Alicia

Yes, I know she didn’t have a four chair turn.  My question is, what the fuck was wrong with Adam? There was a clarity, a pureness to her voice that I loved.  Lilli loves the “vintage” music, and it fits her voice perfectly.  She also had quite the range that should make it really fun for Alicia to coach her.  This was also just a fun audition.  Lilli seemed very quietly confident on the stage, without feeling that she had to be flamboyant.  PLUS, in one of the best coach “drop mic moments” EVER, Alicia serenaded Lilli in her “pick my team” pitch.  More about that in the Coaches and Gossip section below.

Honorable mentions (worth fast forwarding to watch them, and the coach talk afterward):  

Johnny Hayes (Ep 1):  Johnny is a returner! I love it when someone comes back to audtion a second time and gets through.  His Try a Little Tenderness was really nice.  Team Adam.

Aliyah Moulden (Ep. 2):  Hound Dog was an interesting song choice for a 15 year old girl, and she did well.  Not sure she’ll last long on Team Blake though, as he all he has so far are young women.  Is it me, or does she look like the little girl from Love Actually?

Quizz Swanigan (Ep. 3):  The kid is a Michael Jackson impersonator at 13. My problem and why he isn’t a favorite? He sounded too much like MJ.  I wonder if he can even sound like himself, or sing another kind of song?

THE COACHES AND THE GOSSIP

At the beginning of the first show, they did a little gag with Carson asking Blake and Gwen about the Elephant in the Room, and then they showed a guy in an elephant costume eating at the food table.  I thought that this was going to be their adorable way of acknowledging that they are dating, and moving on from the subject.  NO DICE.  It came up time and time again.  I’m already sick of it.  I get it – you are two pretty people fucking each other’s brains out.  Good for you.  Now be professional please.   

I’ve read unconfirmed and unsubstantiated gossip that shows up in my Google newsfeed.   I’ve never commented on it before, but but I TOTALLY believe the rumor that the other coaches and the crew are kind of tired of the fact that Blake and Gwen are acting that the show is all about them and their relationship.  It certainly appears that way on the show.  I can’t STAND how Gwen keeps mentioning to artists that she is a “two for one” special, that if they sing country and are on her team, Blake will be their coach too!  NO.   You are in a fucking competition.  If you can’t rely on your own coaching skills instead of your bedroom skills to convince your dimpled boyfriend to help you out, you shouldn’t be on the show as a coach.

There is also gossip that Alicia is NOT warming up to Gwen, and that she misses Miley a lot.  I’ve stated before that Miley and Alicia got along like crazy, and I suspect that Gwen is primarily focused on Blake and NOT making any effort with Alicia.  Pure speculation and fantasy on my parent, except for two things.  Alicia was on Fallon, and he had her playing that Wheel of Musical Impressions (the “wheel” selects a singer, and then a classic song to sing as that singer.  Think Twinkle Twinkle Little Star or If I Had a Hammer type of songs).   First one Alicia gets?  Gwen Stefani and Miss Mary Mack.  Alicia sang it to the tune of Hollaback Girl.  I think Alicia was OFF KEY.  ALICIA DOES NOT SING OFF KEY… EVER.  Later, her Adele and Janis Joplin impressions were flawless and wonderful.  I think this was on purpose.  Also, check out Alicia singing to artist Lilli.  Gwen wanted Lilli bad I think, and tried to say that she “loved the vintage style” too (Like Alicia mentioned already that SHE did, only Alicia said WHY she liked it).  When Alicia was wowing us with her serenade, I think Gwen’s left eye started twitching as she fake smiled.  She knows damn well she can’t sing like Alicia, accapella or on the fly like that.  (Miley could though…)  

So, in a complete turnaround from LAST season, I am Team Alicia this season!

TEAMS SO FAR (EXPECTED CAP IS 12)

TEAM ADAM (4) – Johnny Hayes*, Mark Isaiah, Jesse Larson, Julien Martinez

TEAM GWEN (4) – JChosen, Stephanie Rice, Savannah Leighton, Brandon Royal

TEAM ALICIA (5) – Anatalia Villaranda, Felicia Temple, Autumn Turner, Lilli Passero, Quizz Swanigan

TEAM BLAKE (5) – Lauren Duski, Brennley Brown, Aliyah Moulden, Ashley Levin, Casi Joy