Bravo is hyping this episode as if we spend most of the time in Maui. However, my photos sent by the lovely Lady C indicate that we have a lot of stupid filler scenes in Atlanta to get through tonight. I have a feeling the throw down with Kandi and Porsha will be the very last-minute or two followed by the dreaded… “To Be Continued.”
We begin tonight with two back and forth scenes. One with Kandi at her house with everyone, including Shamea. The other conversation is Porsha telling her version of events to her sister. Phaedra has yet to show up for either filming. Sheree in her talking head in that odd white confession dress from hell mentions that she doesn’t get why Porsha is taking the fall for Phaedra. So far, Phaedra has not owned up to a damn thing.
Everyone falls out when Kandi says Porsha told her she wanted to go home with her and “eat her til she comes.” I’m squicked out already. Meanwhile, in Porsha’s version, she must have been hanging around Lisa Rinna, because she’s done caught the housewive’s amnesia. Shamea is caught up in the middle between her lover, Kandi and her one time BFF, Porsha. Porsha tells her sister that Todd was in NYC just this past week telling women his name was Marvin. Meanwhile at Kandi’s everyone is looking around for the sex dungeon. Cynthia points out that Porsha claimed that Peter was sleeping with the young waitresses at his bar in Charlotte and that was unfounded. Um, Cynthia, girlfriend. Come on now. You know Peter. Just like Kandi and Todd’s arrangement is all out in the streets, so is Peter’s cheating.
I believe both of these conversations were taped long after Maui. Because we are just now seeing the part of Kandi and Porsha’s conversations where she accuses Kandi and Todd of trying to drug her and take he back to the sex dungeon.
Dear God. Just when Sheree’s confessional looks could not get any worse, we get purple dress with a triple hair bagel on her head.
I now understand why Shamea is in on this conversation. She is there to deny her relationship with Kandi and Todd. I don’t believe her. I also don’t care what consenting adults choose to do in the bedroom.
I can’t be bothered with Phaedra’s lying in the church scenes.
Random unnecessary scene with Todd and Kandi at the OLG restaurant to set up the Maui trip as their idea. Todd wants to invite Peter for company for him while Kandi is filming. They do not want to invite Porsha. Too bad this is not their call. It’s an all cast trip.
Kenya’s brother Ronnie shows up in Atlanta with his kids and they go to dinner. I didn’t even know Kenya had a brother. And while this is sweet and all, I need us to get to Maui. Kenya wants to take her nieces and nephews for a couple weeks. Ronnie is not so sure about that. She is talking about Matt again. He was supposed to go to Maui but Bravo apparently decided he was just too unstable. Kenya tries to act like Matt treated her like a queen because he opened doors for her. Um, Welcome to Atlanta. I weigh a billion pounds and have let myself go entirely and I rarely open doors for myself in public. Men open doors for women in the south. This is not Detroit.
For reason heretofore unclear, Kandi, Cynthia and PHAEDRA got to lunch. Kandi let’s Cynthia know Todd is inviting Peter on the trip.
More ridiculousness with Bob and Sheree. Bob went to Maui with another woman who is allegedly just his friend. However, some staying at the four seasons near his room saw her going in and out of his room with his key.
I’m so sick of Frick and Frack and their weird spa treatments. I’ll just let the photo do the talking. Phaedra invites Porsha on the trip. Porsha thinks Hawaii is another country.
Finally we are at least at the airport. I remember my sources from the Four Seasons Maui telling me that Peter was sad and stayed to himself a lot.
They did NOT show Kandi and Todd being thrown off the flight. The most believable thing about this trip to Maui was how many people were at their hotel who emailed me all the tea. I EVEN SPOKE TO A GUY WHO WAS ON THE PLANE KANDI GOT THROWN OFF OF! So many TT readers are apparently rich folks who stay at Four Seasons. My next step is to get them to start taking me with them! Four Seasons Maui, or anywhere. #LifeGoals
They have to film a dinner scene the first night. WHY? They are all exhausted from traveling. We see everyone falling into their beds when they are supposed to be dressing for dinner. #PamperedPeopleProblems
Todd is already worried about Porsha at dinner. Frick and Frack arrive with Porsha’s deadbeat dad boyfriend on a separate flight much later. The variety in attire is odd. Everyone is wondering why Porsha brought Todd. She was Phaedra’s plus one. It’s Todd’s birthday. Peter’s birthday happening while they are in Maui as well.
Kandi is ready for war with Porsha. There was some small talk at the table. Including Kenya saying that the reason that Matt didn’t come was because she could not get anyone to watch her dogs. That’s a lie. Bravo opted to let his hot head stay at home. And he is NOT watching the dogs. Kenya would never leave the dogs with him or allow him in her house while she is not there at this point.
Then dead silence.
Sheree, the bone carrier, wants to address the issues. So she starts addressing Porsha about her lies. Cynthia gets involved too. Porsha says she was not lying. Kandi tells the table that Porsha is a liar. Now, Porsha says that she heard that Kandi wanted to drug her and take her to the sex dungeon. Porsha admits saying that she wanted to get with Kandi. Production plays back Porsha’s words to Kandi. Kandi calls Porsha a lying bitch.
Stop. WTF? Kenya in the sparkly dress and bad makeup is almost as bad as Sheree’s confessionals. Okay, it’s not that bad. But it’s certainly not the look we are used to with Kenya.
Kandi has copies of the text from Porsha printed out for everyone at the table. This is some reunion type receipts shit happening now. Porsha apparently told Kandi not to worry that she was not going to “rape her on camera.” Kandi responded to say if she does her weird shit to her on camera she is just going to walk away and leave her standing there. Kandi’s point is that Porsha was coming on to her hard core. She was not in fear of being drugged and dragged into a sex dungeon. When Cynthia stands up to Porsha talking about how she is always making shit up about other people’s relationship. Cynthia tells Porsha she needs to either come with receipts or shut up. Porsha responds with “the receipts is your divorce decree!”
Kandi tells Porsha’s deadbeat dad fake boyfriend that she feels sorry for him because he is a fraud. Porsha says Todd is a fraud. Phaedra opens her dumb mouth to try to defend Porsha. Kandi goes off on Phaedra letting her know that Porsha telling people that she and Todd tried to drug her and take her to a sex dungeon is some bullshit. Even Sheree tells Porsha she has crossed a line.
Kandi loses her damn mind. Peter for reasons no one understands tries to stand up and calm things down. And then, just when Kandi is screaming about how it takes everything she has not to choke the hell out of the bitch, we get….. To Be Continued.
So do you think Kandi has a sex dungeon? She seemed to be pleading with Phaedra to help her out. But Phaedra, who started all of these lines of discussion (But Kandi doesn’t know that yet) is just sitting there watching Kandi implode.
Next week: The rest of the fight. Kandi and Phaedra get into it. Kenya and Sheree get into it. Bob seems to admit to abusing Sheree. Kenya, consoles Sheree. Dayum, don’t make me feel sorry for damn Sheree now.