You would think running a website would be a great idea for a hermit. But I have been overwhelmed lately with conversations with lawyers. Tax lawyers. Entertainment lawyers. Branding lawyers. Local journalists in a variety cities discussing Internet trolls in their towns. It’s been a lot. Some folks are going to feel kinda funny in Sunday school in a few weeks. Others are going to have media on their door step.
So I am a bit exhausted as I go into this RHOA recap. Let’s do this! We’re still at the campsite up the street and things are ratchet as usual. Kandi is leaving in her own ride. She is not going to be on the bus with any of them. I should point out that this is in fact the kind of trip to use your Louis Luggage if you must indeed have it. It’s fine if it basically never leaves your supervision. I have a pretty fabulous piece of leather luggage that doesn’t have LV all over it that is perfect for trips to the cabin and even a weekend domestic trip for checked baggage. When checking a bag you need to try to be inconspicuous, without being that same black canvas bag everyone else has. The best way to do that is to tie a ribbon somewhere or put a UGA tag on it. #TravelTipsByTamara
Meanwhile the people on the bus going to the Chateau Sheree bus stop all start denying. Phaedra denies saying that Kandi is fucking Shamea. Can I ask an inappropriate question related to my plans to be a late in life lesbian like Meredith Baxter Birney, is it still called fucking when it is two girls? I mean straight folks fuck, gay men fuck, but I really think a penis is key to fucking. Am I wrong? Misinformed? Politically incorrect? I seriously need to know because I think my dramatic ass would be a great above the waist late in life lazy lesbian.
Porsha thinks getting caught on her lies is hysterical. She does say she finally owned up to it. Sort of. Marlo must be all kinds of upset that her fashions were not shown on the trip. Because that bitch had 92 looks from her skills. Or maybe this. Allegedly. They really were spectacular. I will try to include one as the lead photo. Marlo is a lot of things. But a fashionista is certainly one of them.
Cynthia
Cynthia has a steep downward driveway just like Kenya’s and a lot of folks in Atlanta. We are in the foothills of the Appalachians so there are few flat spaces. So for whatever reason her driver left her at the top of the driveway to navigate her bags on wheels. I have to say when I went to Paris the Christmas before last I used a car service that was so luxurious it was one of the best parts of my trip. Then the breeze through our International terminal had me in the Delta lounge for hours with free food and alcohol! I am a horrible backseat driver after letting my boyfriend at the time drive my car off a cliff …it’s a long story. But I loved these guys. If I ever get up again, I will never pay $15 a day for airport parking again.
I love that Cynthia has the “what is a lesbian?” conversation in front of Noelle. She makes it clear that most women have dipped their toe in the lady pond and that does not make you a lesbian.
Later, Cynthia does and Atlanta launch of her Cargo line with Noelle. She wants to include Kairo but it is not a paid booking. He will get a Cargo bag. Sheree is not amused. She needs a hundred dollars at least lol.
Kandi
When Kandi comes home she tells Don Juan about how Porsha has been trying to get with her. Porsha is texting with Kandi about the whole situation and the way Kandi is telling it is that Porsha doesn’t want her own swims in the lady pond divulged. Suddenly I wonder if Porsha and Kordell married as two gay people in a double beard situation. I actually had a friend like that. She didn’t think I knew but my gaydar with American men is impeccable and her situation was obvious. The were about having babies.
I am not commenting on this Better Late Than Never video by Riley. It’s SAD. In every possible way. I’m not sure if it was mean or nice for Bravo not to autotune.
Kenya
Kenya is taking Cynthia and Mal out for a … pussy party. It’s a vaginal rejuvination party for Cynthia’s 50th birthday. I am over this. I didn’t like it when Sonja did it, I am not into it for Cynthia. BTW, today is Cynthia’s birthday. But Cynthia actually did it. And it was filmed.
Phaedra
Phaedra is off to visit her divorce attorney. Will this be a real scene? I doubt it. Here is the real story. She has done so many shady things with this divorce that even I don’t know what is going on. ROFLMAO this attorney’s career is forever ruined. She tells Phaedra the divorce is final. BWAHAHHHAAHAHHAH
The attorney says that Apollo does not know. Phaedra says she will tell him. As it turns out, she filed under fraudulent names and Apollo is now the plaintiff in the divorce. Literally none of Phaedra’s scenes are true.
Porsha
It’s time to see Porsha’s Brothel. I’ve already said all I have to say about that here. Phaedra brought Porsha a bottle of Hennessy OMG. It’s Chateau Sheree all over again. The house is empty and they play the realtor footage with the playground for the kids and the empty rooms. Production is very shady.
Porsha’s fake unemployed boyfriend brings her a necklace that was a product promotion and not something great. It’s sad.
Next we meet for a Kandi and Porsha showdown. They are at a restaurant that uses the blue glasses that I saw on the dollar store and only bought two of. I wish I had bought more. I love them and they hold 12 ounces even though the are short.
Kandi is pissed that Porsha pretended she didn’t know she was the one spreading rumors. Kandi says that she needs to own her shit about having sex with Block. Kandi says that Porsha has sex with all kinds of girls. Kandi denies having a sex dungeon. Kandi goes for the jugular saying that Porsha wanted to give her oral sex.
Porsha accuses Kandi of having a lesbian relationship. I am bored. Really? Porsha says that Todd’s alias is Marvin. Look both of the bitches fuck a lot. More power to them. The slut shaming of the other one is ridiculous.
Next Week: It’s the trip to Maui.
Out of everybody on this damn show Porsha shouldn’t be saying anything about Kandi being a lesbian or Todd sleeping with other women and using decoy names. Porsha you need to go up to those men wives and let them know you were sleeping there husbands since your ready to spill Kandi tea. Isn’t if funny how Porsha out of all the women on the show know what Todd and Peter were doing ? I don’t need to say anymore ?.
Kandi I hope you leave and focus on your marriage, kids and booming businesses because it is not worth losing everything all because of a reality show. I’m so proud of Riley and her new song and hopefully we can get that Xscape reunion because I know you can reunite with Latocha and Tamika if you can deal with these messy hoes.
Happy Birthday Cynthia ? #50Cynt
Whose husband did Porsha sleep with?
Momma Joyce??!
So are we not allowed to say that Riley is terrible?
I was trying so hard not to say it, but since you’ve said it I can just piggyback. She wasn’t good at all. Kandi is blinded by mother love, so she probably can’t see it, but unless there is hidden talent in Riley we haven’t seen, I don’t think a music career is in the stars for her. Despite all of her privileges there is something about Riley that makes me feel sorry for her. She seems depressed and detached even when she’s doing the smile/smirk thing. I used to think she was just a low key kid and, like many kids, carries the pain that comes with having a voluntarily absent parent. And, of course you have to consider the natural teen girl emotional changes, etc. But the older she gets the more I wonder if it’s more than just a low key personality, teen girl stuff, and Daddy issues. As for the other RHOA kids, IMO, they all seem very well-adjusted and “normal” considering that their moms choose to live life under a microscope. I just hope that despite my observations, all is well with Riley.
this is so juicy i love it !
Lol yes its still fucking even when it’s two girls #LesbianSexIsTheShit
Absolutely love how Porsha handled Kandi.. Oh how I cackled. I’m proud of her for being an independent Black woman and having her own house.
I don’t understand why Kandi talks about her personal life with her staff. It makes me cringe.
Not a popular opinion around here but I believe Phaedra is divorced.
So bored with Cynthia.
I’m so looking forward to seeing the reunion.. Gonna be lit AF!
I agree, 1mil% Porsha has taken so much ishi off those women. Now she’s pushing back and it’s too much heat for them. Kandi and Todd out clubbing with Porsha was suspect. Todd used Kandi to go fishing. They didn’t get her back to the sex castle but they obviously tried. They wanted to make it seem like Porsha wanted Kandi. What married woman who is out with her husband, ends up kissing another woman? Kandi didn’t tell her staff until Marlo exposed her for being a lesbian. Oh but Kandi is so transparent….lies! Mama Joyce thought Carmen was tipping with Todd behind Kandi’s back. Hasn’t Mama J heard in the streets Carmen is one of the 3rds in the Tuckers 3 somes.
Cynthia and Sheree are the only two who aren’t labeled ATL’s Finest Hoes.
Who cares which ones are cross screwing & so forth.and a 3rd.Prayerfully they’re practicing safe sex. That’s way too much T, A n Va Jay Jay this season.
WHO CARES!!!!!
The class has LEFT the ATL for good. This was like a love & hip hop scene between Joseline and Mimi about who “ate” who. It was very disgraceful. It says alot about Kandi, Porsha, and Todd. Porsha made one good comment and that was that she is single. Kandi and Todd are married.
J Stone , I can’t stand this show anymore !! CLASSLESS is an under statement ! If this is a story line , it’s very sad and I am out !!
I’m so happy that the show didn’t END!!!!!?
Yes Deb. This is tragic. Carlos couldn’t do better than this
I’m done after the reunion. I can’t stand having disgusting images in my head and thinking about THOSE two makes me want to hurl.
That’s the same thing I thought i.e. that rhoa is starting to reek of lhhatl (which I stopped watching some time back cuz it seemed to become nothing more than just a big nasty pool of enmeshed sex). I was pro-Kandi in the argument because Porsha and Phaedra were wrong for sitting around gossiping to Sheree about Kandi’s sex life in the first place. BUT, Porsha is single and has no kids. What she does has no direct impact on anyone else. Kandi, on the other hand, has two children, one being an impressionable, school aged girl child, and a husband to think about. I’d be surprised if Riley is okay with her classmates and friends knowing about her mom’s sex life. Plus, Kandi’s mama and aunts are all up in her business. I don’t see how she would want them to know all that about her. As for Todd, I’m convinced that he’ll just go along with Kandi’s program no matter what, but most men would not be not okay with their wife telling the world what they do as a married couple. But, then, Todd seems so emasculated (his choice cuz he stayed around) that he might not even have that male pride “this is mine and my business thing” in his head anymore.
I can’t help with anything except that yes, lesbians still call it fucking even without the peen. You’re welcome.
PS. Given that your life currently seems to resemble a bad Lifetime movie, I think going the Meredith Baxter Birney route makes a lot of sense!
Shots were fired all over the place tonight, and messy AF. The reunion will be savage.
This episode left me shook. I can’t believe Kandi and Porsha went all there and in a restaurant of all places.
“International House Of Hoes.” What in the world!
I can’t believe they’re taking all that drama on vacation. Lordt!
Yeah, women fuck each other all the time. The Porsha/Kandi showdown had me laughing. At least it’s all out in the open and obviously Kandi is completely open about her sex life, even with her staff. That’s kind of odd. (Years ago I worked wth this woman who was constantly sharing her sexapades with me..lol. I was never quite sure what to say. “Sounds like fun…” Lol.
#LesbianSexIsTheShit
Yeah, no, fucking requires a penis, Or at the least a strapon.
Not necessarily. You wanna know more, you can call me, lol.
She’s going to make a terrible lesbian. lol
Surely it’s all fingerbanging and tonguepunching?
I agree, NAA. No offense, Tamara.
Yeah, I kinda agree with you NAA. No offense, Tamara, lol
Porsha looked like a moron, as per usual, coming for Kandi for being a freak of all things. Kandi’s been freaky from day one, so what?
I know! This whole thing is insanity! I just can’t even believe they decided this was gonna be the story line…and off it goes..
And Porsha has never been a good liar.
Porscha is messy nasty. #IWantaSexDungeon
“Late in life lesbian like Meredith Baxter Birney”?!! That has to be one of the funniest paragraphs ever written. I’m always telling my kids that’s what I’m going to become, except I have this little problem of not being attracted to women. The companionship sounds great though, although who’d want a 70-year-old, young-at-heart chubby, wilted Engish Rose I haven’ quite figured out yet. As to what it’s called when it’s two women, I don’t have a clue. I’ve always associated the word ‘fuck’ with penetration by penis, but whether it has to be a real one or not I don’t know. Good luck with that LOL.
Porscha ANNOYED ME to the end! She lies like a cheep rug. She makes shit up. There was no gotcha moment with Kandi because Kandi tells on herself. Everyone keeps talking about Kandi’s FRIENDS who she hired as staff. Porscha must be a paid escort. Dish Nation & hair weave is not buying houses like that. Porscha with her constant violence & vulgarity has brought this show down to the worst level. After her first year it’s been yuck every year. You could tell Porscha was lying the whole time. Phaedra is fake & caused this whole thing. Porscha too dumb to see Phaedra is using her all while aligning herself with everyone else. Now that Kandi is on WWHL, we already know whose side he’s on.
I totally agree! I felt Porsha was lying too. It’s really sad, that RHOA has come to this! I wish they had fired Porsha years ago.
800000 from RHOA, helps pay for a house like that.
I fear that a lot of Porsha’s information comes from confidences that Kandi shared with Phaedra. Of course, Kandi would have to be CRAZY confiding anything in Phaedra.
I was so disgusted by that Kandi/Porsha seen, I may be officially done with this show…I was ashamed of myself by the time it was over. Pure D, Grade A foolishness.
Porsha is sooooo dumb. So, she’s coming at Kandi for having “threesomes” but then switched it to a sex dungeon then Todds cheating and then switching it to Kandi is actually a lesbian that had a lover for 7 years. Whoooooo tf cares!? Kandi owns a sex toy line lol, she’s open w her sex life even when she doesn’t have to be. Porsha was the Bible thumping virgin who happens to be a sugar baby lol. Porsh needs to sit her lopsided boobs down.
One thing I found odd watching this episode was the level of anger Kandi had against Porsha. If someone calls you a lesbian, and you’re not, you laugh it off. It isn’t really that damn deep. And my suspicion was confirmed on Watch What Happens Live when Kandi said that her anger with Porsha had more to do with a comment Porsha made that was not aired rather than with the lesbian comment. Interesting.
Seemed like she was mostly laughing it off. I think Kandi is ultimately mad that Porsha has always taken Phaedra’s side when Kandi was there for her during her divorce.
I think Kandi is still upset with Porsha based on what Todd said a few seasons ago. Todd said Porsha was the hottest housewife 3 times. The rumors about Kandi and Todd are rampant in the ATL. That was not Kandi first time hearing the rumors. Kandi acting surprised was just for the camera’s. Kandi is definitely her mother’s child. I feel sorry for Riley.
Every time I see it, I think of Todd’s fondness (uhhhumm) for Porsha. It’s gotta put things in a different perspective. Maybe threesomes with a stranger are better. LOL
When Kandi was telling her version of the story, Todd was salivating at the mouth..It was clear he was thinking about Porsha.
I know hunh? Can you imagine. I’d hate a bitch too!! Also, salt in the wound with the Marvin reveal. Oh my GAWD. 🙂
Is it possible that she was upset because she didn’t want that information revealed so freely on national television? And that she was blind sided? I’ve seen the whole “Kandi is jealous” theory a lot. And it just doesn’t ring true in my mind. If I were Kandi, I’d be a bit pissed as well.
That’s so true. Kandi who took jabs at Porsha for anger management issues needs some anger management herself. She knows they were trying to lure (groom) Porsha. What married woman out with her husband ends up kissing a woman? Porsha works for Dish Nation, they get all the scopes and fact check stuff. Porsha is putting those mean spirited high minded heifers in formation one by one. Kandi lied and got busted telling her so called, “Porsha came on to me” bull crap. Todd wanted freaky lesbo wifey to go fishing for some Porsha. But she failed they didn’t get Porsha to go home with them.
This episode had me feeling all kinds of “WTF?!?”
WTF to the pussy party and the graphics they used for the orgasm!
WTF to the whole Riley scene that should’ve stayed off my TV!
WTF to Phaedra’s shady fakeass divorce!
And WTF to these scripted Kandi Factory scenes!
This show is a complete and utter MESS.
Lol, this theory always cracks me up. If someone accuses you of something you didn’t do, and you don’t get mad, it’s cause you know it’s true and you’re guilty. If you do get mad, you’re only freaking out cause you were “caught”. The reaction ALWAYS proves what the person wants it to “prove”. Porsha’s a known liar, and not even a good one — these fake scenes with her “boyfriend Todd” prove that. I don’t doubt that if Kandi had a sex dungeon (lol, I guess we know what kind of porn Porsha’s watching) she’d be doing product placements and promoting the hell out of it.
Saw a post on Instagram today and apparently Porsha was in that Trillville music video in 2004. Always been a hoe.
During the Kandi/Porsha fight scene I kept think back to Porshas first season on RHOA. It really is shocking how much fame and fortune can change a person! I can’t believe that she’s the same person who wouldn’t even go to a strip club and wanted to be the best Christian wife possible … now she’s fighting in public and shouting in resturaunts about her sexcapades! #FIXITJESUS
Yes those producers make them scrap for that salary. They’re required to bring crazy drama to light for ratings.
OMG!!!! “I am not into tea cups short and stout”. Best fucking placement of a nursery rhyme ever. WOW!!!! Love love Kandi but Ms Underground Railroad read you like Hook On Phonics. Sorry baby, but you seriously need to check what the streets is saying. I have been watching Bravo before they had commercials and I have to say this shit is in my top 5 of all time with them. LAUGHING MY MOTHER FUCKING ASS OFF. TOO FUCKING HYSTERICAL.
Except it was a tea POT that was short and stout…
Teresa…Porsha is saying that she is not into Kandi because she is short and stout.
Amy, I think what Teresa is trying to point out is that Porsha mangled her comparison. It’s I’m a little TEA POT short and stout. Not tea cups. It’s just more looking for the train tracks for the underground railroad.
It didn’t matter what Porsha mangled. The shit was hilarious! She got Coochie Kandi in formation. Kandi seems hot because her husband is being brought up and Shamea too. She wasn’t planning on that. But now Coochie Kandi has more ish to confess to, because she just begun to tell all. I don’t care how much freaky stuff is on the table her trunk is full of kinky ish. That marriage is a joke! Why did they get married if each other wasn’t enough? Bringing hoes into the bedroom is beyond tooooooo much!
Damn it man…I was convince she said POT. Totally ruined my fun.
Kandi realized Porsha wasnt afraid of her hyped up BS. She called her out and broke her down with Dish Nation facts. Porsha made Kandi expose her and Todd’s luring hoes into 3 somes. They didn’t get Porsha eventhough both tried it. They probably paid for PW’s brown liquor to lure her back home. The staff got that news long after the fact. Kandi tried to make Porsha out to be a bigger hoe than her. But what kinda of marriage does Coochie Kandi have? How long will that last? They have 3 kids, what kind of example are they setting for their children? People talk about Porsha being an Evangelist. But Kandi is a Preachers kid too. The Toddss are off the chain freaky. Keep that stuff at home inside the marriage. That’s too close to Filthy diseases and whatever. #safesex #LordGod
Last four minutes of this episode is the best ever. Watching over and over again. Still laughing with a wheeze. Because. I. Am. A. Smoker. Man I love it.
Im irritated to no end at the fact that Phaedra was NOT in the hot seat of confrontation with Porsha. She too made the comment about Kandi, on camera, and Im patiently back here waiting for Kandi to read her again. Drop the bones at her feet Kandi, we know there are tons in her closet, and we know Kandi knows all about them. DO IT!
This group has become predictable and boring. Not a fun one in the group. I can’t believe Cynthia, who I thought seemed to have the brains and class in the group, would go along with having the procedure done on camera.
This franchise needs Nene back and it needs to cut some of the dead weight.
No, I hope Nene doesn’t return. Nene is too pompous for the show.
Thanks for my pre show recap Tamara. Gotta say, this recap and comments I’ve breezed through, are one of the greatest ever!!!! I’m kinda sad my only lesbian experience was when I was 16 and we were partying after our shift at McDonald’s, and my manager, she professed her love and grabbed my knee.
(My sister, now 59 25year plus partner being gay, maybe she got those genes, and I got the no bars hold heterosexual genes????) On to the episode. 🙂
No holds barred. Lol
Never believe a that porsha know damn well that kandi Todd not the Todd cheating its porsha unemployed boyfriend hiding women and kids she need to clean up her backyard first and stop paying for men
Phaedra will never be in the hot seat for the lesbian rumor during the show. When the Shamea/Kandi comment was made, it was “off camera” to her knowledge so that’s why she never jumped to defend Porsha. She wasn’t mic’d but the other were; Up until that episode aired, I’m assuming she thought she was in the clear. That’s why she was on amazing behavior on WWHL and taking the “high road”. She got caught; that’s why she’s staying mum right now and letting Porsha take the heat now and during the show. Just shows how shady she is. Believe me, she will get grilled at the reunion and if I was Porsha, I would take her to task. You know everyone else will.
As for Porsha. Giant difference between season 5 and now. I’ve never seen such a drastic change. Porsha was searching. There were certain things Porsha said that forced Kandi to fess up to which leads me to believe Kandi has nothing to hide. You could tell what was truth and what was a lie, which Porsha did. Kandi blasted Porsha which led to her spewing false claims which angered Kandi because the lies were a lot more damaging then the truths she was saying. I can’t stand Porsha. I’m over her.
As for the drama: DAMN. It was intense lol.
Kandi makes it seem like she tells all her business but she was forced to fess up about her and Todd. She threw Porsha out there like a desperate lesbian. But seems to me they were fishing for Porsha. As much ishi as them women talk about Porsha. They all want to screw her and their men do too. Porsha had enough sense not to go all the way with Kandi and Todd. That’s Carmen and Shamea’s job to be a 3rd and screw the Todds.
Only omen who’ve never been ducked by a woman say this…yes, it’s ducking and no, not necessarily with a strap-on.
I had to pause the episode at 21mins. cause I was gagging when Phaedra was wiping the tears with her lawyer. Does this mean that her lawyer is lying?
I’m so confused. I would think it’s filing false legal documents, no?
This show was a damn hot mess. TMI everywhere. That scene at Kaplan Family law had me crying too, with hysterical laughter. OMG , Phaedra’s is or isn’t this marriage info bullshit or not is truly ridiculous. Compare it to Cynthia’s divorce talks and you see the real from utter fakeness. I was cringing when Kandi and Porsha were taking in that restaurant. I can’t imagine hearing all that crap if I was in a restaurant trying to have a nice meal. Some conversations are not meant to be having in public like that foul one. As for Cynthia’s vaginal rejuvenation scene as TT would say, just Noe!!
Margaret, wouldn’t NO more vag rejuvenation and no therapy sessions be great? Lol.
What gets me is Phaedra needing an attorney to walk her through a divorce case. GTFOH. Attorneys study all facets of law then specialized in the area of interest. She has invested in enough law books to navigate her own divorce. What a crock of shit! Apollo has been firing back with jail row legalese keeping Shadera Parks on the ropes. That fake bootleg law office Kaplan Law was hilarious. WTF Shady Phae Phae knows she’s been playing games with Apollo to keep him from moving on with the fake-fiance who is thirsty for camera time.
I would LOVE being at a restaurant and having THIS conversation within ear shot. I’d make my husband stay until the end. Kinda have been there but not with a conversation like this!! Lol.
Cheryl no joke , I would love no more of those scenes and lol to that conversation causing your husband to stick around to hear it all .Lol.
The ONLY hope I see, is remember NeNe is a prude. Let’s hope and pray she’s just sooooo offended, she doesn’t come back!! 🙂
?
That’s right! I forgot about all the things she claims she does NOT do. LOL! She needs to stay away regardless IMO.
check out the phony sign on the attorney’s wall – bad product placement.
Cynthia having a giant electric dildo vjay restoration on camera.. I literally gagged. Get some class Cynthia, you’re not that desperate for a storyline !!!!
I have to say out of every episode of any of the Housewives shows…this episode for me was truly the most disgusting one ever.
Dip, dive or whatever floats your boat…but you don’t need to literally scream about it for almost an hour.