It’s been a fabulous season of Ladies of London but now it’s time to say goodbye. Two months ago the ladies came roaring back into our lives with tales of risky births (Marissa), divorce (Sophie) and the first big fight of the season (Caroline Stanbury vs Julie). Then we met my darling Adela and Liz Hurley’s ex-husband’s fiancée and got our second big fight of the season (Caroline Stanbury vs
Julie Sophie). We visited scenic Mapperton, the Earl of Sandwich’s estate and the site of our third (Caroline Stanbury vs Julie Sophie Adela) and fourth big fight (Caroline Stanbury vs Julie Sophie Adela Sophie).
When Marissa finally rejoined the ladies after numerous hospital stays we got our first episode without a major row, just lots of drunken mummys and balloon hats. To make up for that reprieve, we got an episode with pub crawls, drunken snooker and two big fights (Caroline Stanbury vs
Julie Sophie Adela Sophie Caroline Fleming and Caroline Stanbury vs Julie Sophie Adela Sophie Caroline Fleming Sophie). Whew! That was a busy week. The fabulous trip to Scotland gave us kilts, haggis and the fight about the “rumor” (Caroline Stanbury vs Julie Sophie Adela Sophie Caroline Fleming Sophie Marissa). When Caroline Stanbury took a week off, the rest of the ladies took us, and their hats, to the historic Henley Regatta. And last week we shared in Caroline Fleming’s charming midsummer party that was almost (but not quite) hijacked by the final fight of the season (Caroline Stanbury vs Julie Sophie Adela Sophie Caroline Fleming Sophie Marissa Adela).
Looking back, I feel like we were watching two separate shows: elegant ladies living a life of leisure and travel and the Caroline Stanbury vs everyone hour. Ugh. Well, tonight we get to say goodbye to La Stanbury as she heads off to Dubai. I’m sure her castmates will get teary but all I can say is: don’t let the Burj Khalifa hit you on the way out!
We start with Caroline Stanbury ordering around her bewildered hotel butler. This man is used to catering to the demanding elite and even he is shocked by Caroline’s behaviour. Once he escapes, she picks up her phone to bark at her assistant about ordering more hair. On her day off. But it’s an emergency! She needs to get ready for her Goodbye, Fuck You party. Or so she claims. In truth, it’s because she has no one else to talk to and nothing to do. Too bad she’s alienated all of her friends.
Over at Marissa’s, things are decidedly different. The house if full of love and joy. The boys are bonding with their sister while Matt and Marissa discuss moving to California. Marissa has given in and the move is really happening.
Caroline Fleming meets with her book editor. She’s very excited about the book proposal she submitted and the editor tells her they’ve accepted it. It’s not her first cookbook but it’s the first to be published in Britain and the States. The Barefoot Baroness is going global.
Sophie’s ex stops by to pick up the boys so they discuss telling them about the divorce. They both agree to be very active in the boys’ lives but Sophie balks when her ex mentions them staying at his house. It’s like she hasn’t ever considered sharing custody.
Julie helps her daughter prepare for a European vacation before she starts university. Julie is having major empty nest syndrome. Sure, she still has too many sons at home but this is the first kid who’s moving out..
Super successful blogger Juliet has a photoshoot to celebrate hitting 100,000 followers on Instagram. Last week she tweeted that she loves these recaps. Um, okay.
Julie and Sophie have Pims in the park. Sophie ruins it by complaining about Adela. She completely denies that she told Adela Caroline Stanbury said she traded her kids for money. Julie doesn’t believe her so they call Adela. Adela won’t play along and Sophie goes HAM. She’s terrified that Caroline Stanbury will get mad at her.
Luke does Caroline Stanbury’s makeup for her Goodbye, Fuck You party. They both cry. Luke might be a paid friend but he’s good at it. Sophie arrives and tells them she told the kids about the divorce. They cry some more.
While Julie and Adela get dressed for the party, Julie tells her about Sophie’s kid drama. She asks her to be gentle on Sophie. Adela is totally prepared to drop everything as long as Sophie apologizes for going ham on her. Something tells me this isn’t going to just go away.
And finally it’s party time. Caroline Stanbury is like a pig in shit. She’s the center of attention and no one can deny it. Luke pounces on Julie with La Stanbury’s final salvo: Julie is single white femaling her. Sigh. Ironically, Adela and Sophie pull the cameras away for a “talk.” Ha! After ruining everyone’s else’s events with screaming and fits, Caroline Stanbury is getting a taste of her own medicine. I hope they actually come to blows, just to show her how ridiculous it looks. But, no. They talk it out rationally. Damn!
They sit down to dinner. Caroline Stanbury sits on a Maleficent throne. Juliet makes a teary, annoying toast. I can’t even listen to her. All I hear is ass kissing. Adela and Sophie both make final episode speeches about friendship. Juliet interrupts to chastise them about their lack of loyalty to Caroline Stanbury. It turns into a row and Caroline sits on her throne and smirks. Adela calls Juliet a “poisonous dwarf in polyester” and that is why I love her. Juliet, on the other hand, can’t stop saying “loyalty.” It’s starting to remind me of Ramona’s lecture about class when she met, and insulted, Alex and Simon in the first season of RHONY. I’m over it.
They finally drop it and we get the wrap ups. Marissa is excited about California, especially the avocados. Sophie looks forward to being happy again. Caroline Fleming plans to give Martha Stewart a run for her money. Literally. Juliet likes herself even if no one else does. Julie is Mapperton, Mapperton, Mapperton. And Caroline Stanbury is ready for her new, rich, tacky life but warns that she could be back.
And with that we say goodbye. It’s been a blast. I really hope Bravo gives the ladies another season. Even if it includes Caroline Stanbury.