Tonight Ladies of London brings us another fabulous Caroline Fleming event. She’s done an intimate dinner party that involved gnawing on a duck leg. She’s taken the ladies to her castle for dinner with Danish royalty. And now she’s going positively pagan with a Midsummer’s Eve party. You know she’s going to do it right so prepare to be annoyed when Caroline Stanbury ruins it all by fighting with her foe of the moment (
Julie Sophie Marissa Adela). When is she leaving already?
Caroline Stanbury’s husband and children are already living in Dubai but since she needs to complete another week of filming, she’s moved into a posh hotel. Sophie joins her for a couples massage and another round of ass kissing. Stanbury sisters 4 eva! Eventually Adela jumps in for a pajama party. She’s still wound up from working on her custody case. Her children are old enough to decide which parent to live with and they’ve chosen their father. It’s heartbreaking. The ladies discuss the Midsummer’s party and Caroline Stanbury is a negative Nellie. She’s already decided she won’t participate in the maypole. “I hate flowers and I hate ribbons.” Well, alrighty then.
Caroline Fleming visits her floral designer and she’s clearly in her element. She pulls out photos of her last Midsummer’s, when she was ten years old. It was also shortly before her mother passed away so the event is going to be extra poignant for her.
Juliet’s mother visits from Chicago. Both of her parents are Polish immigrants so her first language was Polish. The producers ask if she still speaks it. She claims she’s totally fluent but they show a clip of her not being able to speak a word. Lies-a Minelli.
Adela helps Julie prepare her daughter for her prom (well, the British version, which means they get to drink… legally). Julie is a proud mother. She seems to have a lovely bond with her daughter. It makes Adela cry.
Caroline Fleming gets her actual friends to help her set up her party. She’s in glasses with dirty feet, building the maypole. She’s putting her all into this event and loving every minute. Eventually she’s dressed and ready to greet her guests. Of course, when they arrive she’s straddling a firepit, grappling with an enormous fish. But that doesn’t worry Caroline Fleming. She’s the barefoot Baroness, after all.
They start off making ivy wreaths. Sophie and Adela immediately grumble but Caroline Fleming ignores them. She’s determined to share her Midsummer’s customs with her friends no matter how unpleasant they act. They move on to making Danish Hvirvel bread by twisting dough around a skewer. Everyone giggles at their carb phallices. Caroline Fleming explains that they need to grill the bread over a flame for twenty minutes. When her guests complain, she seems genuinely confused. “When did you ever make bread that took quicker than twenty minutes?” Good lord. So much grousing and Caroline Stanbury isn’t even there yet.
They sit down to a stunning table just in time for Caroline Stanbury to hate on her wreath. Sigh. Caroline Fleming welcomes them to Swedish Midsummer’s. Yes, she is Danish but her mother was Swedish and tonight is in her honor. She serves them plate after plate of food she cooked herself. She’s going to sell a lot of cookbooks based on this party. Everyone is in heaven, except Caroline Stanbury. It’s just not her kind of food.
They all get up to dance around the maypole. Well, everyone but Caroline Stanbury. She claims she can’t dance around a cross because she’s Jewish but just a few scenes ago she said her issue was she hates flowers and ribbons… “I’d rather throw myself on a very, very, very blunt object.” Works for me.
While Caroline Fleming dances around in a Scandinavian fog, Julie asks Caroline Stanbury on a date. Sophie rolls her eyes. Caroline tells her she doesn’t understand why she would go. She’s leaving in five days and has no time for her nemesis. Julie perseveres and Caroline Stanbury keeps turning her down. Give it up, Jules. Just let her leave on her terms. It’s your only option at this point. But La Stanbury isn’t content merely shutting her down. She needs to grind her into the ground. She tells Julie she “lifted her” and then was dropped once Julie found other friends willing to “lift her.” This whole conversation reminds me of Bethenny and Kelly Bensimon’s “I’m up here, you’re down here” argument and I’m done with it.
In the midst of their row, Caroline Stanbury turns to Adela and informs her that she’s still mad at her too. Adela looks blindsided. They’ve spent plenty of time together since their incident in Scotland and Caroline has never expressed any animosity. Suddenly, in front of all the ladies, she brings it up again. Adela calls her on it. Caroline claims she hasn’t been able to resolve it because Adela cries every time she brings it up. Ugh. Caroline Fleming dances over, proudly displaying a kilo of caviar but Stanbury and Adela don’t even notice. They’re too busy yelling at each other.
Finally, Adela has had enough. She storms away from the table, muttering under her breath. Caroline Stanbury stays in her seat, appealing to her audience to back her up. Sophie chases after Adela to pull her back into line. Yep, Sophie is back on the Stanbury Kool-aid, big time. They yell at each other. Seriously, ladies? You’re at a party I’d give my right foot to attend and all you can do is argue about Caroline Stanbury? Ridiculous. Sophie reports back to the table that Adela refuses to see reason while Caroline Fleming stares open mouthed. “You can’t even have one glorious dinner?” Caroline Fleming marvels. She decorated. She cooked. She made it nice. She should send them all home.
Caroline Stanbury, camera in tow, sits down with Adela to
assert her dominance talk it out. When Caroline claims she’s supported Adela all summer, Adela disagrees. She informs Caroline that Sophie told her about the texts she sent saying Adela traded custody of her kids for financial gain. When Caroline pretty much says SorryNotSorry, I just can’t agree with a mother doing that, Adela responds that she doesn’t agree with Caroline leaving her kids all the time. Oh, my. This is getting ugly. Somehow Caroline manages to turn the conversation back to Adela betraying her and Adela apologizes. Arg! How does she do it? She must have some black magic powers. They stumble back to the group, battered but “friends” again.
Caroline Fleming refuses to let the fight ruin her Midsummer’s. She circles the table, shoving dessert balls into her guests’ mouths. I wish I was as unscathed as she is.
Next week: It’s the season finale! Marissa’s husband gives her an ultimatum on moving to L.A. Sophie talks to her ex (and his mullet) about telling their boys about the divorce. Julie has a hard time letting her daughter go. Adela and Sophie turn on each other. And Caroline Stanbury has a “Goodbye, fuck you” party.