Kenya and Phaedra open the show pretending like they like each other while shopping at an outdoor accessory store. I have no idea why Phaedra is wearing that shirt. This friendship will never last. In fact, Kenya already has her stank face on when Phaedra says she was embarrassed to be in the restaurant with everyone acting like “crazy urban street fighters.” I’m pretty sure Phaedra is incapable of being embarrassed. Then Phaedra suggests that everyone was attacking Porsha. Kenya is irked by the word “attacked” she is already angry with Phaedra. Porsha was certainly questioned about her anger management by at least three of the women. And Kandi made sure to hand her attitude right back to Porsha, but it was certainly nothing that a sane person would react to by literally running out in traffic! Kenya says that when Phaedra accuses them of attacking Phaedra it makes her want to hang herself with one of the ropes in the camping store they are in. Oh Kenya. Sigh. Phaedra lightens the mood but joking they should all go naked on the trip and pretend they are on Naked and Afraid.
Porsha is shown at her “anger management” class. See this is what is wrong with therapy sessions. People go in and tell the story from their own biased point of view. So this therapist says that it sounds like Porsha was being bullied. Please. Porsha complains that her friend Phaedra didn’t stick up for her at all. She says that when she asked if people were afraid of her, that Kandi just went off on her. Porsha says that she just calmly walked away from the situation. She wonders why in the hell she would go on a trip with women are angrier than she is. She has no idea why Kandi has such anger toward her. It certainly couldn’t be because Porsha likes to go off on people and use her fists when words fail her.
Porsha says that if she is going she needs to bring a friend to support her. The therapist suggests she bring a support system. Porsha knows this is supposed to be an intervention type trip and so she is bringing a bunch of people with her to be on her side.
If I were Kenya I would be pissed as hell that Cynthia is filming with Matt. Cynthia recently went by Moore Manor to check on Kenya when she was unable to get her on the phone. She found Kenya outside cleaning up after Matt had vandalized her house for the fourth time. Wait, it looks like Cynthia did ask Kenya if it was okay for her to talk to Matt. Matt says that the main issue with his relationship is respect and communication. Cynthia is encouraging reconciliation. NO! Cynthia. Let him go back where he came from.
Kandi has decided to set up a surprise white party for her girlfriend Shamea. Don’t judge, there are all kinds of relationships in the world. Love is love. Lots of Kandi’s friends are there but the only housewives invited were Porsha, Cynthia and Sheree. Lena and Hazel are also there. Marlo shows up with Sheree. None of the housewives knew it was a white party. Sheree blurts out she just got invited last night, Then she says that Porsha was thinking about not coming because of the altercation with Kandi the last time they were together.
Shamea arrives in all white and Kandi gives her a welcome reception. Right away we go to talking heads with Sheree talking about Kandi and Shamea’s relationship and flash backs to Phaedra telling Sheree that Kandi and Shamea are “fucking.” Sheree is not going to be able to stop herself from blurting out something stupid. Shamea cries when she finds out that Porsha is not coming. They all move upstairs to the outside deck. The second they sit down, Sheree tells Shamea that Phaedra told her that Shamea fucked everyone’s husband. Shamea said if that was the case she would have fucked Apollo because he made many passes. Shamea says that the word was very heavy about Phaedra before she started her southern belle act that she was a head doctor. Well she used a graphic gesture to demonstrate Phaedra’s purported skills. Thanks to Phaedra suing Angela Stanton, we have official court documents stating that everybody knows Phaedra is a head doctor. It seems that Sheree’s job is to stir the pot and then have overly dramatic reactions to the situations she causes. It’s annoying. Shamea is pissed that Porsha didn’t stick up for her at all when Phaedra was saying things about her.
Kenya goes to see Cynthia’s new lake house. After checking out the place they walk down to the dock and Cynthia gives her report on Matt. Matt of course blames Kenya for all of his behavior. This pisses Kenya off. Kenya says, “Does that sound like a sane person? He is a grown man.” I agree that Matt’s vandalizing and his constant refrain of “She made me do it!” is insane. Every abusive man claims that he is only abusive because the woman says or does things he doesn’t like. It’s bullshit. Cynthia gives a very accurate retelling of what she said to Matt. She said that Kenya is a dramatic person. This sets Kenya off. Cynthia didn’t even get to the part where she said Matt is a Drama King and two dramatic people in a relationship is not an easy thing. Kenya is angry and frustrated and feels like Cynthia didn’t stick up for her. But she did! Kenya is not listening. She has a dramatic exit with her dogs and drives off. Because, drama queen.
Porsha goes over to Shamea’s the day after her engagement party. Porsha had sent a gift to the party but she decided not to go because of Kandi. Shamea says that Porsha is making the engagement party all about her. She should have been able to set her feelings toward Kandi aside to be there for her special event. Shamea is crying again. She brings up all the gossip that Sheree through out there that made her feel like Porsha doesn’t have her back. Porsha lies and says she doesn’t remember Phaedra saying anything about her. Shamea points out that Phaedra always talks crap about Porsha. Shamea warns her that Phaedra does not have her back.
Off to the Woods
For some unknown reason, the meeting spot for everyone to get on the bus was at Chateau Sheree. Maybe because her house is on a bus line. She didn’t even have floors down in the house at this point. So she set up a construction table on the front stoop with some sprinkle cookies from Kroger and one bottle of some sort of cheap sparkling wine. Marlo shows up for a ghetto mimosa. Also because it’s hot as hell, and Chateau Sheree has no HVAC, or floors, or appliances, or beds, or…well you get the picture, Marlo and Sheree go sit in the car with the A/C running to talk. Kenya ragged on Sheree’s construction site the entire bus ride to the campsite on social media. It was hysterical at the time. Marlo must have brought her own champange glasses because Sheree was swigging out of a plastic cup before she got there. Now in the car they have real glasses. Porsha and her sister pull up at the Chateau. Yep, I was correct Marlo brought the glasses but only one for her and one for Sheree. Porsha and Lauren will have to drink their warm sparkling piss water out of plastic.
Porsha talks to Sheree about spreading gossip between Phaedra and Kandi.
Down the street Kenya who actually lives in her house, puts out a full on spread. Not sure who is coming by her place, but apparently she has invited people to meet up there. Cynthia’s assistant drops her off at Kenya’s. Kenya is serving mimosas with Chandon, in actual wine glasses. Kenya and Cynthia get straight with each other before leaving. Then Phaedra shows up. This camp site is less than two hours away and all of these women are packing like they are spending the summer in Paris. Kandi shows up with her friend Hazel. Phaedra tells everyone they are going spend the night outside on the first house.
The bus arrives at Kenya’s place and they all have to roll their luggage up Kenya’s steep driveway. Kandi is really griping about that. Porsha, Sheree and Lauren try to walk down to Kenya’s house looking for Phaedra. Marlo wants no part of traipsing down the side of the road and is probably back in the car under the air conditioning. When Marlo walks on the bus, it says ” Marlo, Sheree’s best friend” under her name. I cannot stop laughing. Porsha is pissed that Phaedra went to Kenya’s instead of to Sheree’s. She’s worried that Phaedra and Kenya are the new “Frack and Whack.”
Porsha brings a note from her shrink saying that she needs to bring her sister for emotional support. Things get messy when Hazel asks if Porsha is under emotional distress and that is why she needs a support person. Porsha and Kenya get into it.
Next Week: Marlo trash talks Kenya around the fire and then later asks Kandi if she is a lesbian. Marlo is apparently there to be Sheree’s shit stirring support.