We start the show tonight, not in the A but in the D! Detroit, Michigan. Phaedra’s latest news headline she’d like to insert herself into is the Flint water crisis. It astounds me that they still have not gotten that city safe water to drink. I really don’t understand it. Since Kenya is from Michigan, she went with Phaedra to assist with the kids camp. And while in Motor City, once must rent a fabulous car to tool around in. I must say this is an unlikely pair, who in the present day don’t care too much for each other.
After a wacky ride with scarves flying in the air, the unlikely duo arrives at YMCA Camp Copeconic, in Fenton, Michigan located about twenty miles outside of Flint. Kenya is less than thrilled with her YMCA accommodations. Kenya jokes about going to the Hilton. Phaedra says she raised enough money to send 150 campers to the Y. Kenya is announcing to random kids she passes that she is a former Miss USA. That gets their attention long enough to notice that Kenya brought her dogs, King and Twirl to the camp grounds.
Kenya is loving the camp as much as the kids, but I suspect she did stay in a hotel overnight. We had a fake wake up scene with her in her clothes pretending to wake up in “her room.” After Phaedra and Kenya exchange some light shade throwing about their workout attire, it time for Kenya to give a character development seminar to the girls and boys. Kenya teaches the girls how to respond to mean girls by teaching them to say they are Fabulous! Gone with the wind, Fabulous! And then twirl away.
Okay, I was pretty touched by the clips from the week Kenya and Phaedra spent at the camp hanging with the girls and judging a talent competition. Then they had some of the kids share their heartbreaking life stories Once kid starts off saying he never knew his patterns except for pictures. He starts to cry and Kenya looks about ready to lose it. Kenya goes running over to him while another kid says “Two years ago my brother got shot in the head three times….” The next kid says the only reason he plays sports is to try to get his family out of Flint. All the little kids in the audience are crying their eyes out. This is going well. I thought they were supposed to be having fun! I’m surprised Kenya didn’t just snatch that first boy outta there and take him home with her. Tears and hugs all around.
The week ends in usual camp style with a big campfire and lots of bonding. Kenya and Phaedra call a truce and pledge to be friends. This happens at every camp. The truce never lasts.
Meanwhile, back in the ATL Porsha is out to lunch.
Todd supposedly got fired from his job because of his social media with Porsha. If he had a job, why was he not supporting his kids? That boy ain’t had no job in DC. He’s been in Atlanta for weeks.
Later, we come to the point in filming where Porsha passed out at the nail salon and had to be rushed to the hospital. The doctor says she has a condition where not enough blood gets to her brain. How much did she have to pay to figure that out I wonder? She could have just asked anyone who watches the show. Shamea is there to be filming nursing Porsha back to health. Shamea and Phaedra hate each other. Why would Porsha agree to be Shamea’s filming partner? #Messy
Todd comes over with flowers and ice cream. Porsha tells Todd her condition is caused by stress an
d it is all his fault she passed out.
Cynthia is fake living at Kandi’s house while she is “homeless.” She moves in quite a few things. Like her wigs, some groceries, and some Febreeze. Kandi’s guest room is gorgeous. Cynthia is staying in the big house!
The next morning, Cynthia brings down her personal box of Froot Loops for breakfast. In a miraculously well-timed phone call from her realtor, she finds out the final appraisal came in and the bank is ready to make the loan.
Sheree and Bob meet up so that Sheree can tell a fascinating, and probably fake story about how she and Bob got in a physical fight in Spain. They are at Paris on Ponce which is a big space across from the recently closed Murder Kroger used to be. It’s part restaurant, part antique store part event space. They seem to have paid for promotion and since Bob and Sheree have no storyline, they went with the whole Bob trying to win Sheree back farce. This whole reminiscing about Sheree and Bob traveling to Paris and Spain is something they spun up to go with the assignment. Bob does a cabaret dance for Sheree. This leads to a confessional by Sheree where she suggests that Bob is well endowed.
Lunch At 5 Seasons
Phaedra has an all call luncheon to thank the ladies for helping with her camp and invite them to go to adult camp. Kenya brings up past violence on trips and says that Phaedra told her that Porsha wanted to share her progress with her anger management classes. Oh, here it go. Even though we see a clip of Phaedra saying that to Kenya. Phaedra tries to deny saying it. I had to pause to go get this Instagram clip so that you could see Phaedra’s dog collar. You’re welcome. Kenya starts listing all of Porsha’s previous violent attacks. Porsha starts to get… well, angry. She says that Kenya is the only one asking her about it. So Kandi says, “Let me ask the questions then, have you been going to anger management or not ?”
Porsha says if she is going to anger management she is not doing it for them. Kandi tells us in her talking head that she doesn’t think Porsha is going to anger management. She says Porsha doesn’t even know anything is wrong for her. She’s right. Porsha only goes to anger management when Bravo makes her do it on camera so they can cover their ass the next time by saying they thought she was better. Cynthia asks Porsha what is wrong about asking about her treatment. Porsha wants to know why they are all asking her about it. Kandi says they want to know what her triggers are. Porsha does a talking head where she blames everyone one for making her hit them. Kenya asks Porsha if she is on medication for her issues. Clearly this is the intervention that I heard about for Porsha. My understanding was that this “glamping trip,” which was really a day trip to an executive team building type place, was the intervention. Looks like they started a couple days early.
Porsha says she aint’ gonna have everyone piggybacking on everyone elses’ comments about her. Kandi tells Porsha to “piggyback her ass up” then. There a lot of jawboning and cursing between Kandi and Porsha and the, as I mentioned, Porsha goes running out into traffic. That ends the luncheon with everyone just walking out to see if Porsha gets run over by a short bus.
She doesn’t get run over by a bus but she does tell everyone she is done with them all. Kandi and Cynthia had the sense to stay back at the restaurant while Kenya went with Phaedra and Sheree. Porsha peeled off in her rental car and Phaedra wants to text her to come back and talk it out. Kenya now has a reason to say she is not comfortable going into the woods with Porsha and Kandi and Cynthia will back her up. Sheree on the other hand is one of those people who blame the victim for provoking the violent person. Kenya says that they are not talking about her right now, they are talking about Porsha. She also says all the women provoke each other and everyone one of them has had a man who has hit them. Sheree pretends like she doesn’t know who Kenya is talking about. Then in her talking head Sheree says, “We aren’t talking about me, we are talking about Kenya.” No, boo, everyone was talking about Porsha and you decided to blame shift to Kenya. Sheree says that Kenya wishes she were on her level. Kenya then squats down in the parking lot and duck walks around saying, “I’m on her level now!” That was pretty hysterical.
By the time Porsha comes back, it is dark. How long did they have to wait in the parking lot? Porsha doesn’t want to talk to Kenya and Kandi and Cynthia don’t want to talk to her, so those three leave. Then Frick, Frack and Myfinanceslack, go up the back stairwell to shoot another scene. On the walk up, somehow Sheree is the victim. She says that Kenya said that it was her (Sheree’s) fault that some dude was abused to her. That never happened and Sheree denied having an abusive relationship just five minutes ago and now Sheree is accusing Kenya of doing exactly what Sheree did to Kenya. That is how Sheree’s mind works. Or malfunctions. Phaedra is trying to dodge all the arrows, but Porsha perceives this as sticking up for Kenya. Porsha wants to know why Phaedra was talking to Kenya about her treatment. Porsha says she never said she wanted to talk to the girls about her treatment. Phaedra is busted. She tries to lie her way out of it. Each time she does, production plays back the tape of Phaedra saying what she keeps denying she said. Porsha starts making all kinds of threats about “these bitches” Kenya, Kandi and Cynthia. Seems like anger management is not going so well. Not so well at all.
Next Week: Everyone goes into the woods. How many will come out? And Cynthia counsels Matt about Kenya.