Project Runway Junior: You Light Up My Life

By Cjbomb

And then there were nine….. I repeat myself when I say Leslie and I really like these kids and it is getting harder and harder to watch them get eliminated. They all have wonderful unique spirits and we definitely need more of that in the world. Leslie remarks how she misses Rene; me too Les, me too. Especially after watching him rock the cartwheel into a split.

So Tim arrives on the runway and tells the designers that they have to be prepared for a “stress test”. What the hell are you talking about Gunn? Every one of these challenges is a stress test. The woman on the runway with Tim is from Secret Anti-perspirant/deodorant (OHHH, stress test…got it). Since they are pioneering designers on the forefront of fashion, they are going to make garments with LED lights and fiber optics. Everyone is very excited about this, especially Chris, who claims since he is cool and edgy, he’s got this in the bag. They have $350 to spend at Mood, which according to Izzy can get you a very expensive dog or a lot of cheap pizza. They have ONE day to complete the challenge. I’m disappointed they aren’t getting 2 days because I think this is going to be a tough one. The woman from Secret is sending them a surprise to help deal with stress. You know what would help lady? ANOTHER FREAKING DAY.

Awesome Tieler has an awesome idea and sketch and I hope he can pull it off in this time frame. Leslie texts me that she wants to frame his sketch and hang it on her wall. Izzy is doing a varsity jacket with a flared skirt and I mentally welcome her back to her zone. Mollie is doing a low v-neck Alice in Wonderland-ish dress. A’kai says he’s doing something fitted. Chris is making a t-shirt outfit with pants underneath and a jacket. Hawwaa is going to try to do a dress with a pleated skirt lined with LED lights.

The Workroom

Secret has generously given them backpacks…..with deodorant, and what is that? Toilet paper? Is there no wine or Xanax? Oh wait, Junior, NEVER MIND. Just when Les and I are grumbling that this is the suckiest surprise ever, Tim walks in with Madison “Maddy” Maxey to help them out. Now THIS is a gift. For those of you who don’t know who she is, she won the Thiel Fellowship at age 18. She owns a design and engineering studio integrating technology and apparel. Every time you see a futuristic dress, there is a good chance this young woman had a hand in help making it come to light. I mean light literally. The designers are suitably awed and she informs them she at their disposal all day for help and advice. Izzy immediately grabs her and starts asking questions.

Hawwaa has chosen pastels and lace for her outfit. Chris tells her that if she uses lace with bright colors the outfit will look like “the Golden Girls couch”. Hawwaa doesn’t know who the Golden Girls are and Chris is in shock. (I LOVE the Golden Girls, Leslie loves that Chris loves the Golden Girls)  She thinks he is being mean until everyone in the room agrees with his assessment. She switches in some black to make it more sophisticated. Maddy is helping Chelsea figure out where to hide the battery packs. I wish they were using her for more sophisticated queries, but these are important things to think about. Chris tells her he will just stick the packs in the model’s cleavage. It’s a good place to tuck things, like french fries you have forgotten about. Chris’s friends must have some serious cleavage.

Tieler does not want to glue anything to his dress because he has “sausage fingers” and the glue will go everywhere. No Tieler, we do not want you to do that because you are too awesome and we never want to see another contestant win based on their glue-gunning abilities.

Tim’s Critique

Tieler’s dress has evolved to reflect the dress form itself and the pattern lines will be represented by LED lights. He wants to make the lights reflective (see what I did there) of all the work that goes into the dress. “Like a dress skeleton.” says Tim. He likes the idea, but is worried Tieler hasn’t done anything to the back and tells him he might want to address that.

Molly tells Tim she is going for whimsical yet sophisticated. Tim tells her to skip the chiffon overlay.

A’kai has bitten off more than he can chew and Tim tells him the choice of the blue fiber is going to be sinuous and curling and very hard to control. Sounds sexy. Tim should read Jackie Collins for audiobooks. A’kai brings out his secret weapon….scotch tape! Tim tells him to focus on the economies of labor. A’kai has no idea what that means. Tim tells him to work hard and work smart. And presumably not use scotch tape.

When Hawwaa tells Tim she was going to use pastels, but the rest of the group thought it was too old, Tim says it can kind of become Golden Girls. Chris is like THANK YOU TIM FOR VALIDATING MY REFERENCE.

How is Chris? Tim asks. Chris is AMAZING. Chris is mixing patterns (of course) and using multiple colored lights. Tim wisely tells him to dial it back and use one color lights or the model will look like a Christmas tree.

Tim thinks Izzy’s embroidered (with lights) varsity jacket is “wacky”. When he asks what her skirt is made of, she says “my hopes and dreams” at which point he gets a wee bit impatient with her and tells her to be realistic. He is worried about her, but tells her to carry on. Izzy goes into panic mode. She describes her skirt as “wonky”. She is right.

Everyone is furiously working and I again feel as though this should have been a 2 day challenge. They certainly could have taken more advantage of having Maddy there. There is still room for silliness though. Chris asks Allie if she would choose between a three-month romance with Zac Efron or a lifetime of love with a nice, boring guy, what would she choose. Allie’s response made her one of my new faves, “Um, I’m fourteen… and I’m busy.” Fabulous.

The Runway

Hannah comes out to tell the designers that there is no more immunity and the save is gone so, it’s time to bring it.

Leslie says she has grown to love Chris. She says his outfit is young, fun and happy and looks like Candyland or Zooropa album. I love the jacket.

I am writing about how boring Cartier’s look is as Leslie is texting me how boring it is and Cartier is saying on-screen how she doesn’t want the judges to think she’s boring. Leslie says she looks like Judy Jetson and she can’t see the lights. I write that she looks like a space flight attendant. It’s nice to know we are all on the same page.

A’kai’s look reminds Leslie of Tron or an MRI of a foreign object invading its host. I think it is flowy and pretty, but badly constructed.

I think Izzy’s outfit looks costumey. Leslie thinks it’s a walking advertisement for Izzy.

Leslie and I both worry that Tieler’s look is too safe for the judges, but I think it is very sleek and cool. It makes me wish AGAIN that they all had two days for this.

Leslie is getting an English garden party vibe from Allie’s look. I’m getting a Carolina Herrera vibe. We are both, however, not getting an LED vibe.

Leslie thinks Chelsea’s dress looks like a “lit peacock” I write back, a drunk peacock? The model looks like she’s pooping lights. I expect more from Chelsea.

Hawwaa’s look is very basic and then turns into Studio 54 underneath. A disconnect for me. Leslie says it’s elegant yet comfy; her style! She thinks the contrast is very creative.

Leslie texts me that Molly’s look is “prairie” right as I am writing, “Little House at the Disco”. She wished she could have taken it further but was limited by time constraints. Grrrrrr.

Leslie loves Chris, Hawwaa and Izzy, with Chris for the win. I pick Tieler, Chris and Molly with Chris for the win. Leslie picks Tieler, A’kai and Chelsea for the bottom with A’kai to go. I choose Hawwaa, A’kai and Izzy, with A’kai to go.

The Judging

The judges tell Chelsea she is very lucky she had immunity this week. She points out that someone with immunity never wants to hear that.

Did Tieler just say yes ma’am to Kelly Osbourne? Could I love him any more? Christian said his model looked very clean and modern walking the runway, but he wished there was more excitement in the back (cough…2 days…cough). Hannah loves the simplicity and says it is sexy and sleek. Kelly thinks he is a force to be reckoned with and Aya admires his demonstration of his high taste level.

Kelly loves Molly’s bold choice of pattern in her fabric. Hannah says it is one of her favorite looks. Aya disagrees and thinks she has more to offer she hasn’t shown them.

Hannah loves Izzy’s “car wash” skirt (WTF?) and Christian loves the street smart vibe of the girl. Kelly thinks it’s smart Izzy is thinking about branding, and to quote Mugatu, I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

Christian tells A’kai while his garment was romantic, he picked the wrong fabric. Kelly thinks it was angelic, but Aya wants to know how he used his time. The answer doesn’t make her happy.

Hannah loves Chris’s jacket and Christian wants to see Rhianna in this outfit. Kelly says she is obsessed with it. Aya doesn’t understand how it is supposed to work together and Chris basically says, “Because I said so.” She does not look impressed.

After last week’s outfit, Christian expected more from Hawwaa. Kelly thinks it is cute and fun, but that’s it. Hannah thinks the lights look like an afterthought instead of an integrated part of the look as a whole.

Everyone is a bit confused as to who is on the top and who is on the bottom. The winner, however, is Chris. He is VERY happy and goes completely batshit. Mondo Jr. aka A’kai is auf’ed and turns around in tears, but immediately gets it together and apologizes to the judges for letting them down. Kelly is now crying and they all tell A’kai he has nothing to apologize for at which point he leaves and then apologizes to Tim for letting him down. Tim tells them all that this is when it gets very hard and he wishes he could keep them all. Us too Tim, us too. A’kai says when Karl Lagerfeld dies he will be taking over for him at Chanel. I remind myself he is 13 and reach out to give him a virtual hug. It’s the unique ones who change the world. You did good kid. And Mondo lost, but came back and won All-Stars! Do you agree with the judges this week? Let us know! Have a great weekend everyone!