The Ladies of London are in Scotland. No overgrown frat boys in hot tubs. No sharing an RV bathroom with Jax Taylor. Just lovely surroundings, silver paillettes and Juliette making everyone cry. What could be better? So let’s jump right in and see who shows their arse tonight.
We pick back up at brekkie. Our national treasure has already caused Marissa to run sobbing from the table so she turns her attention to Sophie. Even Caroline Stanbury is cringing in the corner. You know things are bad if La Stanbury doesn’t enjoy your bullying. Sophie ends up apologizing (of course) so once again Juliet’s bad behaviour is rewarded with the attention she so desperately craves.
The ladies hit town for some sight-shopping. They separate into two groups (Caroline Stanbury, Sophie, Juliet and Julie go one way, Marissa, Caroline Fleming and Adela the other). They’re all grateful for the break. They have some fun and then get down to business: discussing the Juliet issue. After playing second fiddle all season, Juliet finally gets a storyline! Sure, it’s about how obnoxiously aggressive she is, but it’s camera time so I’m sure she doesn’t mind.
You know who does mind? Caroline Stanbury. If we’re talking about Juliet, the focus is off her. And that won’t stand. So she switches the conversion to her favorite topic: Caroline Stanbury. Since she’s surrounded by yes men and pushovers it’s an easy job. She gets to pour her heart out about how hard things are for her and the scene ends with everyone kissing her ass, almost literally.
For their final dinner before the men arrive, the ladies have a whiskey tasting. They don’t enjoy it. Caroline Fleming asks the sommelier if he’s wearing knickers under his kilt. He gets offended. It’s kind of funny to finally see Fleming make a faux pas. She works her way out of it gracefully and the ladies head to a cavern dining room. The haggis gets a bagpipe escort. After tasting whiskey on an empty stomach, everyone giggles. The piper explains that traditionally, the haggis gets an “address” (a 250 year old poem written in old Scottish). He takes it quite seriously. The only words we understand are entrails and reek. Yum. The ladies were already dreading the haggis and this is making it worse. But Caroline Stanbury decides they’re all going to try it (
Then Caroline Stanbury decides to exhibit her “softer” side and apologizes for upsetting Marissa. This allows Marissa to break down. She’s tired. She doesn’t have the energy to fight anymore. Julie worries that she’s going through postpartum depression and is masking it with her “I want to party” attitude. All of the Brits sneak away, leaving Julie, Juliet and Marissa at the table. Juliet finally gets it and tells Marissa she’s there for her. Marissa sobs that she’s not strong enough for Juliet’s barbs. “You just gotta be my friend. Please.” Juliet really hears her.
In the poolroom, Caroline Fleming introduces the ladies to the balloon game. The idea is to see which team can pop the most balloons by grinding them between their lady bits. Hilarity ensues. Juliet is really good at thrusting. Maybe she shares a predilection with Amber Marchese (NTTAWWT).
The next morning the men arrive. Marissa immediately pulls Matt away. She’s not doing so well. Matt listens and supports. They’re a really sweet couple.
Caroline Stanbury schedules some falconry because she thinks it will scares the ladies. It does. Well, except for Caroline Fleming, who has a mystical connection with the bird (of course). Then it’s time for archery or quadding. Guest’s choice because this is the oh so cool, no rules vacation. Or, as Caroline Stanbury says, “No rules equals fun.” Yeah, we get it. You’re the best and Julie sucks. Yawn. They play croquet and explore the castle. Other than Caroline Stanbury’s tit for tat, this looks like a great vacay.
For their final dinner the men wear kilts. While Cem is making his toast, Adela grabs his ass and confirms he’s wearing underwear. He tells her to have starters before dessert. Sophie makes a toast about missing Caroline Stanbury. It’s sweet and heartfelt and it angers Julie. They may be playing nice for the moment but the Caroline vs Julie feud is still going strong. So naturally Julie decides to make a toast too. It’s awkward from the get-go. Passive-aggressive doesn’t even begin to describe it. No one knows how to react. Finally it’s over and everyone totters outside for fireworks. Everyone celebrates
surviving their group trip Caroline Stanbury.
Next week: Caroline Stanbury has awkward tea with her mother. Sophie realizes she has to tell her sons about the divorce. Caroline Fleming weirds people out. Everyone fights at the regatta.