Tamara Tattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade.

  • COMMENTING RULES!
  • Blinds
  • RHOA
  • RHOBH
  • RHOD
  • RHONY
  • RHONJ
  • RHOOC
  • RHOP
  • RHOSLC
  • Shahs of Sunset
  • Pump Rules
  • Southern Charm
  • Below Deck
  • MDLLA
  • WWHL
  • Killing Eve
  • Open Forum
  • MAFS
  • 90 Day
  • Love After Lockup
  • FT
You are here: Home / Bravo / Ladies of London: Tarts And Tartan

Ladies of London: Tarts And Tartan

January 13, 2017 by The Lady Cocotte 42 Comments

By The Lady Cocotte

Sorry for the delay getting you this Ladies of London recap. I’ve been under the weather and my throbbing head couldn’t handle Caroline Stanbury. She’s the kind of woman that requires full faculties, even via a television screen. But I’m feeling better and finally ready to hit Scotland with the ladies. Bring on the tartan and haggis! Hell, throw in some bagpipes for good measure. I’m dying to see who wins the top spot on La Stanbury’s hit list this week.

Sophie visits Julie on her way home from Royal Ascot in her LBD and amazing hat. Unfortunately, this scene isn’t about fun and fashion. It’s about Caroline Stanbury (of course). Julie is losing her mind. Caroline spilled the beans that the Scotland trip is Caroline’s chance to teach Julie how to be a good hostess. Gasp! Sophie tries to slow the train. Only the day before she promised Caroline she wouldn’t talk about her behind her back. Julie agrees to respect Sophie’s wishes and in the next breath immediately starts ranting about Caroline again. But she has just cause. This is about Mapperton! And respect! And Mapperton! Sophie begs her to talk to Caroline about it. Julie stops sobbing long enough to pour more wine.

After packing and flying montages, the ladies (and Caroline Stanbury’s paid friend Luke) arrive in Scotland. It’s gorgeous (of course). Marissa asks their driver if there’s a particular drink associated with Scotland and they laugh at her (it’s Scotch, in case you were equally slow on the uptake). Caroline Stanbury acts shocked that Marissa is running away to the United States after starting the rumor about her fleeing the country. She tries to make it into a thing but only Juliet is interested in playing (ugh).

At the castle, Caroline Stanbury makes a big deal about people not be required to attend breakfast, although dinner and lunch are mandatory. Caroline Fleming knows she’s taking at a jab at her since La Stanbury got in trouble for missing breakfast in Denmark. Yawn. I’m a little over tit for tat. You’d think Caroline Stanbury could do better than that but here we are.

The ladies see their rooms and there’s lots of oohing and aahing. Marissa gets the best room. As she’s unpacking, Caroline Stanbury demands she switch rooms. She claims it’s because she needs to be next to Luke but that’s a total lie. It’s about having the best room. Marissa sees through her and let’s us know there’s a hierarchy attached to the rooms. Juliet gets second best as reward for being “best chief minion.” Once that’s taken care of, Caroline Stanbury brings up The Rumors. Marissa denies starting the rumors but La Stanbury can’t hear her over the sound of her own voice. In an expert power move, Caroline magnanimously forgives her. Except she immediately runs right to Juliet and continues complaining. Marissa catches them and it starts all over again. Marissa is confused why they’re still talking about it. So am I.

Julie visits Marissa’s room under the guise of caring for her friend but it’s just to complain about Caroline Stanbury. Sophie won’t listen anymore so she needs a new ear. The thing is, Marissa could care less. Not about Julie but about anything that has to do with Caroline. I’m there with you, Marissa.

It’s casual night so Caroline Fleming is dressed in a silver paillette turtleneck. It’s the highlight of the episode.

At dinner, Caroline Stanbury seats Julie next to her because that’s what Julie did at Mapperton. Yawn. Then she makes an incredibly long toast and everyone stares at their wine longingly. They get pissed and talk about sex. Adela talks about her addiction issues. “You drink to drown your sorrows but then they learn to swim.” She brings up her suicide attempt and Juliet asks, “But is that not selfish?” The whole table tries to rein in her in but she just won’t stop talking. Adela eventually flees the table. God, I hate this woman.

The ride back to the castle is a drunken mess. It’s a nice break.

The next morning, breakfast is sausages or Kedgeree (boiled fish and rice). Caroline Fleming is aghast. She just wants some eggs, for crap’s sake. Caroline Stanbury jabs at Marissa, who is already having a rough morning missing her baby. When Marissa confronts her they start on about The Rumors again. Juliet can’t help but jump in (#1 minion) and attack Marissa. Adela swoops in and escorts a crying Marissa away from the table as world war three breaks out between Sophie and Juliet. You know, standard breakfast fare.

Next week: The ladies go quadding, do archery and get naked wasted. The men arrive, bringing kilts and fireworks to the party. Marissa begs Juliet to go easy on her. Caroline Stanbury blames Julie for ruining her relationship with Sophie (again). Sophie cries about her divorce.

Share this:

  • Tweet

Related

Filed Under: Bravo, Ladies of London, Reality TV Tagged With: Caroline Fleming, Caroline Stanbury, Danish Baroness, Denmark, Earl of Sandwich, Julie Montagu, Juliet Angus, Ladies of London, Lady Hinchingbrooke, London, Luke Montagu, Marissa Hermer, Rory Fleming, Sophie Stanbury

About The Lady Cocotte

Comments

  1. Donna says

    January 13, 2017 at 7:35 am

    It’s so embarrassing. Marissa doesn’t know that Scots drink Scotch and Juliet thinks Scotland is the land of Leprechauns and pots of gold.

    Oy vey!

    Reply
    • Observer2 says

      January 13, 2017 at 9:14 am

      hahahaha And wouldn’t you know it just had to be 2 of the Americans.

      Reply
    • Erica says

      January 15, 2017 at 3:21 am

      To be fair, Marissa probably still has baby and major surgery brain. If they removed her ovaries in her hysterectomy – she’s gone into instant menopause too!

      Reply
  2. Antonia Hill says

    January 13, 2017 at 9:56 am

    Since Marissa has moved to California, I hope she is done for good.

    Reply
  3. LaNY says

    January 13, 2017 at 9:57 am

    Of course the 2 Americans are the ones to make embarrassing comments! This is why I travel with my foreign friends, lol.
    Caroline S has been a handful this season, but I still like her and hope she and Sophie work things out. I am glad Sophie was strong and didn’t take the bait and talk about Caroline S with Julie.
    I’m liking Adela more each episode and Juliet needed to be slapped for her comment to Adela. At the breakfast, I love how Julie, the town crier, was giving Sophie advice to stand her ground with Juliet as if Julie knows the first thing about standing strong.
    I should probably not judge Marissa but I couldn’t help it when she was crying about being away from her baby, wondering if she was this way at the birthday party in the Hamptons she attended shortly after the baby was released from the hospital or was this episode’s tears a production for the cameras? I want to like Marissa but since season 1 I have felt that she is phony.
    I hope they show more of the castle, it’s beautiful!

    Reply
    • sliceo'pie says

      January 15, 2017 at 11:19 am

      I felt really bad for Adela after Julie made that comment. I felt offended for her (yeah, I’m totes co-dependent) I shouldn’t have been shocked because it’s a very cliche comment made by people who clearly don’t understand depression or alcoholism and the toll it takes on someone. It takes guts to bring up a subject like suicide in front of a group of women, let alone on TV. it’s also really hard to sit at a table when everyone is drinking and you can’t. Alcoholism takes people to really dark places and she is now suffering the consequences from years of partying, having lost custody of her children. I can only imagine how much pain she is in. I feel for her. Julie came across as a total asshole but what else is new.. I’m sick of her ferret-like face, she reminds me of a little yappy dog, alway underfoot and super annoying-I wish she’d just go away. (But let me tell you how I really feel….LoL)

      Reply
  4. justanothermary says

    January 13, 2017 at 9:58 am

    I love the recap and thank you Lady Cocotte! I’m going to have to watch this show and pay attention. Between the Carolines, the Standbuy and Julie/Juliett it’s hard to keep them straight in blog form.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      January 13, 2017 at 8:25 pm

      It’s hard on the TV, too Mary. Especially if you don’t remember faces as much as the the blonde one and the brunette one. I need more hair colors. 🙂

      Reply
  5. Numenah says

    January 13, 2017 at 10:18 am

    Scots do not drink scotch. They drink whiskey (blended) or malt. Order a scotch in a pub, and you will be snickered at and corrected.

    Reply
    • Mark says

      January 13, 2017 at 2:18 pm

      Nope, you will be offered the most expensive nip, if you are an American perhaps a Highland Park 40 or some rare Laphroig.

      Then we will snicker behind your back.

      Reply
      • Numenah says

        January 14, 2017 at 12:01 pm

        Alas, I was snickered at to my face.

        Reply
      • Erica says

        January 15, 2017 at 3:26 am

        Then if I ever do go, what should I order? I do like whiskey, but suspect my palate is decidedly uneducated. I can probably drink the cheap stuff straight for goodness sake, thanks to my grandfather’s genes skipping a generation.

        Reply
      • Erica says

        January 15, 2017 at 3:41 am

        Lady C, don’t apologize for feeling under the weather!!! If you had what I had – it was definitely more than just under the weather. It knocked me on my ass for a wee – and I was grateful the Voice wasn’t on. I’m still not 100%, and I first got sick just after Christmas.

        As for the show… I’m realizing that I dozed during part of it, so very grateful for the recap. I do remember getting mad on Marissa’s behalf. I feel sorry for her. She’s been on bedrest (scared for her life), given birth, a hysterectomy, and a scare w/ her baby’s health. If they took her ovaries, she’s in instant menopause too.

        I wanted Marissa to channel a down and dirty bluntly speaking American. As in:

        “In case your self centered cunt brain missed it, I’ve been on bed rest for the last several months, trying not to raise my blood pressure worrying that either my daughter or myself would DIE, while trying to assure my other two kids and my husband that everything would be ok, you selfish bitch. WHO THE FUCK WOULD I GOSSIP TO? MY TWO YEAR OLD? I HAVEN’T BEEN FUCKING ANYWHERE IN 10 MONTHS! I had a hella scary birth, a hysterectomy, a hospital scare with my baby – and you think I GIVE A FLYING GODDAMN FUCK ABOUT YOU, you UNSYMPATHETIC PIG FORNICATING SELFISH ASSHAT?”

        i keep waiting for someone to point out to Caroline S that she was an unsympathetic cunt to her employees, only focused on herself, and perhaps ONE OF THEM is spreading the rumor. Or hell… all of them? It is probably true!

        Reply
        • Observer2 says

          January 15, 2017 at 11:05 am

          Absolutely right Erica! Not to mention the fact that Marissa is one of the rare people who owns up to whatever she’s done.

          Reply
    • Toni says

      January 13, 2017 at 5:28 pm

      I thought scotch was a whiskey?

      Julie going to Marissa to check on her – reminded me of Sex and the City with Carrie bringing her bullshit bagels (and no cream cheese!!!) to her injured friend so she can obsess and bitch about Aiden. Julie seemed so cool Season 1 and now she’s just this whiny, self centered, petulant, shit-stirrer.

      Reply
      • Numenah says

        January 13, 2017 at 8:57 pm

        It is. The scots just don’the call it “scotch.”

        Reply
      • sliceo'pie says

        January 14, 2017 at 5:06 pm

        I liked her season one. She was down to earth and felt relatable. She seemed a bit of a mess and I like that! Alas, she’s now a, “Brand” (with a capital B) and has lost the sweetness and earnestness she once possessed.
        I’m also tired of Julie’s comments regarding Caroline’s supposed jealousy of Mapperton and her title. I don’t think Caroline’s envious of Julie’s at all. Caroline probably could have married someone with a tile and seems to have deliberately gone in the other direction.
        For what it’s worth, I really dislike Caroline, I think she a hypocrite who acts like a spoiled, entitled child. She reminds me of Veruka Salt. 😉

        Reply
        • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya says

          January 14, 2017 at 11:58 pm

          I’m with you slice. Julie is passive aggressive and I also don’t think Caroline gives a flying fuck about her title. Who put that into her head? Caroline is annoying as shit but Julie is one of those fake sweet people.

          Reply
      • Ms Rufus Ragdoll says

        January 15, 2017 at 6:24 pm

        It’s because there are different types of Whiskey made in the “Scotch” method – ie Irish Whiskey (e.g. Jamiesons) & Tennessee Whiskey (e.g. Jack Daniels) and even a Japanese one I don’t know the name of but the Scottish just call it Whiskey!

        Reply
  6. A says

    January 13, 2017 at 10:38 am

    Does anyone wonder what the other rumors are that Marissa is alluding to? It’s the second time she has mentioned that there are some really nasty rumors about Caroline Stanbury. I can only guess that they are the yachting rumors

    Reply
    • Mark says

      January 13, 2017 at 2:19 pm

      Yachting rumours?

      Reply
    • Lawstangel says

      January 13, 2017 at 5:35 pm

      @A says- There were rumors that Caroline Stanbury was moving to Dubai to escape legal problems with the closing of her business The Gift Library.

      Reply
      • A says

        January 13, 2017 at 7:10 pm

        Hey Lawstangel!

        So in one of Marissa’s talking heads she stated that the legal problems were one of the minor rumors about CS. A MAJOR rumor about CS is that she was a ‘yacht girl’ in her younger days. A yacht girl is a high end prostitute that normally works the yacht circuit in Cannes (during the film festival) and Mykonos. If you pay attention to her Instagram many of her friends are also said to have been / are yacht girls. Mohamed Hadid (dad of Gigi and Bella Hadid) is a very good friend of CS and it is said that former wife, Yolanda Hadid, and current fiance, Shiva Safai were BOTH former yacht girls. Supposedly all met on the circuit.
        ALLEGEDLY….

        -A

        Reply
        • Toni says

          January 13, 2017 at 9:14 pm

          This is awesome – makes everything make a whole lot of sense. Stanbury’s hubby Cem is Arab as well, right? Wonder if they met on a yacht as well.

          I don’t think very much of Yolanda, with her self-important, holier-than-thou attitude so knowing this is how she (allegedly) made her living is fantastic.

          Reply
        • Lawstangel says

          January 13, 2017 at 10:53 pm

          Wow…I was unaware of this or what the term meant. While I love the show, I don’t really follow any of them on any other social media. I work with a lady who is British, she is the one that told me about Caroline S’s bad press re: the Gift Library. I must say, that is pretty scandalous. I may go look now!! 🙂

          Toni- close, Cem is Turkish

          I forgot to thank Lady C for her re-cap especially while ill……Thank you Lady C !!

          Reply
        • Mark says

          January 14, 2017 at 3:25 pm

          How does one be a “yacht boy”? I was young, posh and in Chelsea and the only thing I was offered by oligarchs was free drinks.

          Reply
  7. Kim in Oregon says

    January 13, 2017 at 10:55 am

    I loved that they all thought the ‘alpacas’ were sheep or goats. And I’m not an expert, but I think Bravo got it wrong too–I think those were llamas.

    Reply
  8. Margarett says

    January 13, 2017 at 5:54 pm

    Well, I hope you’re happy now. After reading this recap, Tamara: I will be binging this weekend instead of just reading and watching Texan football. I don’t have much confidence in our guys even being able to hold their own against the Patriots. Anyway thanks for the recap…not ass kissery it’s just an especially enjoyable read!

    Caroline S., is really annoying in everything from her attitude to her snobbery to her entitlement to her grating voice!

    Reply
  9. Lawstangel says

    January 13, 2017 at 5:56 pm

    Juliet needs to be slapped for her comments period. She is such a nasty witch. If anyone is hanging out of Stanbury’s ass it’s her. She is a mean girl combined with a kiss ass. She really needs to mind her own business. Caroline S demands unbridled loyalty, so why did she not stick up for Adela or reign in her little attack dog?

    I thought is was interesting that Caroline Stanbury was comparing her situation with Marissa & Matt’s. Caroline S was forced into bankruptcy by her creditors & Board. She took a huge beating in the British press for it and there were some scurrilous accusations that she mis-managed the investors money & went on vacation instead of participating in the closure of her business.

    Matt’s club Boujis was ordered closed due to a fight between two drunk jerks. Once it started apparently it turned into a huge brawl. It was the second fight in a years time. Their license was pulled and they were ordered closed. They planned to sell their other businesses to move to the US.

    They are/were not “running” from the law as Caroline S likes to insinuate.

    I am not going to judge Marissa on her missing her baby. I see a definite change in her from last year. I think she is still a little hormonal. I feel she has mellowed a bit.

    Reply
    • Spunky2015 says

      January 13, 2017 at 9:10 pm

      Caroline S. did tell Juliet to knock it off regarding Adela. Juliet must have a charmed life to have that attitude. She adds nothing to the show. Her “I love me” website is a joke. On the fence with Marissa. The only one comfortable in their own skin is Caroline Fleming. She’s a hoot. Clean living one minute, smoking a ciggy the next. Boy I would love to stay at that castle and see Scotland.

      Reply
  10. Margarett says

    January 13, 2017 at 6:04 pm

    OMGoodness. I missed your byline, Ladt Cocotte! Sorry!!

    Reply
  11. The Lady Cocotte says

    January 13, 2017 at 6:27 pm

    No problem! I was flattered by what you wrote…

    Reply
    • Observer2 says

      January 15, 2017 at 11:11 am

      Oops Lady Cocotte, I see my thanks to you for this recap got left out when my computer shut down suddenly and I lost everything. Ugh!

      So glad you’re feeling better, this is a bad time of year to get sick.

      Reply
  12. Opela88 says

    January 13, 2017 at 6:50 pm

    This is my favorite show on Bravo right now, but Juliet needs to go, she had nothing to offer other than being Caroline’s minion. Every time she comes on camera, I just can’t even …. she reminds me of Kourtney Kardashian and I’m just annoyed lol

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      January 13, 2017 at 8:38 pm

      I think our National Treasure, Juliet thinks it is cute to play the “stupid American” role.

      Reply
  13. NAA says

    January 14, 2017 at 12:06 pm

    Really, the gals never heard of whiskey?

    Great recap. I may have to try to find this one on line.

    Reply
  14. Observer2 says

    January 14, 2017 at 10:08 pm

    Beautiful episode in Scotland. And love the Dundas Castle.

    Hopefully Julie will so busy picking up enough good tips on helping run a self-sustaining castle that she won’t have enough time to whine during the trip.

    Well, the Baroness (since there are too many Carolines and Caroline S was the one who brought the title up) is certainly drinking in every detail of the manor’s inner and outer beauty. Even the faux flower arrangement. lol

    What is that black blob on the side of Caroline S’s head in the interviews? It is so distracting that I can’t even hear what she’s saying.

    I feel bad for Marissa. She’s been laid up for a year with being pregnant and then ends the pregnancy with a hysterectomy. As if that isn’t enough, once she and the new baby are safely home, her husband announces that he wants to up and sell everything and move back to America. So where in there is she supposed to have had the time to start rumors about Caroline? Or when would she even care enough to try to concoct them? Seems to me she had plenty other things to worry about. But good try Juliet.

    Oh gee, here goes Julie off on a Caroline rant.

    OMG Juliet! Really, I hope your time here just expired. Adele was not talking about the ‘JOY’ of anything. If you took the time to pull your head out, you would hear her complete anguish.

    Yes Sophie! Love your honesty and putting Juliet in her place at breakfast and all her negativity with Adele and Marissa.

    Reply
  15. Donna says

    January 15, 2017 at 9:02 am

    So, breakfast is optional, but lunch and dinner are mandatory. No rules, right? I hope all the ladies show up 2 hours late.

    Reply
    • Shae says

      January 17, 2017 at 10:32 am

      It is also exceptionally rude to imply someone doesn’t know how to be a good hostess or to plan a nice weekend for her guests. The other ladies had fun at Mapperton, fishing and eating and whatnot. Caroline Stanbury had to be a bitch stick in the mud and ruin it for herself, because she has no basic decency, consideration or manners.

      Reply
      • Erica says

        January 19, 2017 at 5:14 am

        GREAT POINT!

        I would probably love to check out Mapperton if I was in the area. It would definitely be up my alley.

        Reply
        • Donna says

          January 19, 2017 at 7:18 am

          I drool every time they show the grounds and gardens of Mapperton. Definitely bucket list for me.

          I actually thought on this episode that Caroline S. was trying to make amends. Or was it because her husband was on his way?

          Reply
  16. Shae says

    January 17, 2017 at 10:25 am

    I truly wanted to roast Juliet alive for her rudeness, ignorance and arrogance. Firstly, it really bothers me when people who are not struggling with mental illness go on and on about how they “cannot imagine doing x,y,z” that people with said mental illness, do. Of course you cannot imagine doing that, YOU ARE NOT SICK. Of course an addict’s behavior is going to seem illogical and foreign to A NON ADDICT. Good lord. How about a bit of perspective? That life, pain, etc. seem different to a depressed, addicted person’s eyes and therefore their experience is vastly different than yours?

    To say suicide is selfish or cowardly shows a fundamental lack of understanding. Of course stupid Juliet can’t imagine leaving her kids behind, because she isn’t depressed, addicted, traumatized, etc. to the point where her brain would be telling her her kids are better off without her and that there is no way out of the crippling pain she’s in.

    Who the fuck is this bitch to judge Adela’s struggles? And if she wanted to have those opinions they should’ve been kept private. Who the hell are you to foist them upon the other person? To what end, to make them feel worse and more ashamed than they probably already are?

    I hate asshole people like this. No filter, just blabbermouths with no regard.

    I felt the same way when people slammed Robin Williams for his suicide. Beautiful people with horrible diseases who cannot see a way out.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Come For The Tea, Stay For The Shade!

  • Look I Woke Up In SHIT MODE
  • It’s Martin Luther King Day
  • RHOA Recap: The Giving Peach
  • The Hustler With Craig Ferguson
  • WTF Is Wrong With Armie Hammer?
  • Open Forum: About Last Night…
  • Open Forum: I NEED A FUCKING NAP

SEARCH TAMARA TATTLES

Recent Comments

  • Sool on Look I Woke Up In SHIT MODE
  • tamaratattles on It’s Martin Luther King Day
  • tamaratattles on It’s Martin Luther King Day
  • Blueeyed on It’s Martin Luther King Day
  • ELIZABETH Tucker on Look I Woke Up In SHIT MODE
  • Deb in SF on RHOA Recap: The Giving Peach
  • Harleigh on It’s Martin Luther King Day

Archives

Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2021 · Metro Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in