We are just getting started and we are still talking about Erika’s vagina. Erika is talking with one of the video dudes and then shows him the panties that Dorit gave her and tells the story. How much longer can this go on? I fear we really are going to talk about Erika’s vagina the entire season. Erika says she doesn’t believe anyone saw anything but if they did, there are two polite things to do, either never mention it or give a subtle heads up at the time. For whatever reason, Dorit is being nasty. Erika says, “It’s that type of girl that takes all of the fun out of hanging out with women.”
I will spare you all of her braggadocio and condescension. Dear God, Elliot Mintz on top of Dorit and PK, it just beyond skeevy. Elliot Mintz is incoherent. PK asks Rinna if she has ever regretted something she has said. She says yes, in fact the last time she was at their house she apologized to LVP for being so hard on her. PK seems to think he is a housewife, are the producers actually feeding him these lines or are the feeding them to Dorit in his presence and he just decides to deliver them? The only couple worse than these two were the cancer mongers from Jersey. This is the slimiest collection of idiots I’ve ever seen. Rinna stands out as some sort of mistress of intellect in their presence. Shut the fuck up, PK. Rinna is furious with PK but being polite. PK is mansplaining to Rinna how she feels about the death of her father. Dear God. We are getting another segment of this. PK is now telling Rinna what to do about her relationship with LVP. Rinna talks about how Eileen lost six family members in the past year including her mother just a couple days before the reunion was filmed. I don’t understand why this is being brought up. When Rinna point out that Eileen didn’t let most of the cast know, PK decides that was not fair to the others. Dorit agrees. THIS IS THE WORST SCENE IN HISTORY. Why are these two idiots criticizing how Rinna and Eileen mourn the loss of their family members?
Maurico announces he just got a speeding ticket in the mail from the trip to Italy last year. He was going 112 miles per hour in a Ferrari. The ticket was 600 Euro which is probably just fine with him. Mauricio’s real estate company is doing VERY well. Kyle wishes he would not work as much. Later she meets up with Maurcio at the office for lunch with him and his two daughters. They are a really cute family.
Vince and Eileen are going to get back to playing doubles tennis. Vince is a former professional player who is very good. I hope they show them playing a match. I’d rather watch that than Eliiot and PK mincing. Eileen tells Vince about Rinna’s luncheon with PK and Dorit. Vince seems so much better than he did last year. I am glad to see him recovering from so much grief.
Eileen and Dorit go for a walk on the beach in Malibu but it is way too windy for them so they find a picnic bench instead. Eileen invites Dorit to go to lunch with her at Camille’s house. Eileen points out that she feels like the whole pantygate thing has hurt Erika’s feeling and seems a bit mean. Then she transitions into trying to discuss her and her awful husband blathering on about her mother’s death and how she should have handled it. Dorit says she doesn’t remember Eileen’s name even coming up. This is bizarre. It was a fairly long conversation. How come every time someone is a cunt to Eileen, and she goes to confront the person, that person denies that they were ever a cunt and claim not to remember a thing about the situation?
Eileen and Rinna go to work out with Eden Sassoon. And then off to lunch. Eden tells us all about her father, who really is a big damn deal. Then she tells the girls that her sister Katya died of an overdose at age 34. Katya was friends with Kim Richards. Rinna says Kyle is about to have a game night and invites Eden.
Camille has Erika, Dorit, and Eileen over for lunch. Blonds only it seems. Erika discusses her music video. Dorit acts like Boy George is in her house every day. He’s clearly already been voted off of Celebrity Apprentice and has gone back to wherever he came from. Dorit says tells us in confessional basically that she doesn’t know anything about Erika’s music videos but that Erika is closed off and they are probably not very good. Dorit and PK love to make broad criticisms on subjects they know absolutely nothing about and I am sure that is about to come up at lunch. Everything Erika says, about herself, Dorit contradicts as if she knows more about Erika, than Erika. It’s very infuriating. Dorit tries to tell Erika what it’s like to be in your forties. Erika points out hat Dorit has only been forty for a week.
Next Week: This dreadful conversation continues and Dorit tries to play victim. It’s game night at Kyles and crazy as ever, and Eileen tells Dorit to just shut up and listen for a change.