It’s time to check in with the ladies of Beverly Hills once again. I suspect #PantyGate will be a large part of the conversation. This recap will be delayed as my Internet is going in and out once again this evening and I am typing this offline. Hopefully I can find an online moment to sneak this on tonight, but usually these things usually take an overnight to resolve themselves.
Note: I am BARELY back only. The cable guy will be here in a few hours. Sorry for the delay.
Hah! I just saw the actual title of the episode is “PantyGate.” Way to make it seem even more scripted, production. Also, could we stop seeing Dorit’s children with developmental issues? I am always highly irritated when housewives parade around children for sympathy before handing them back off to the people who raise them.
We start with Erika in her closet with one of her entourage. Then again with the frenzied editing back and forth. Eillen playing the guiter with her son. Dorit seems like the Phaedra of this franchise where we see her interacting with her kid, awkwardly. Rinna checks into the “presidential suite” at the Sheraton in
bumblefuck West Chester, Pennsylvania for her QVC appearance where she immediately starts sanitizing everything in the room. I would like to state that Lisa Rinna seems to have overtaken Cynthia Bailey for best tits on a housewife. Maybe, I’m just envious of normal sized boobs as I started growing huge ones at age 11.
Erika is getting ready to shoot for Y& R and she is nervous. Eileen is so welcoming and makes Erika feel right at home. Erika compliments Eileen’s perfume that she brought back from Dubai and it makes me long for all of the dark oils perfumed with exotic Arab spices. I had a tiny bottle from some Egyptian museums shop in Cairo that was the best ever. I wonder what happened to that? Erika and Eileen speak with the executive producer to get a feel for what sort of character they should write for her. It ended up being a real estate agent who has a literal run in with Eileen’s character. It was just a few lines, but enough for her to get her SAG card. I’d love it if they brought Erika back with a full-time role. Mostly because that would jar LVP’s grandmother’s preserves.
Kyle and LVP meet at a bar. LVP is day drinking and Kyle orders water. Somehow we manage to do a Rolex advertisement, AGAIN as LVP shows of the watch “Ken bought for her.” Apparently, she got a twofer on Rolexes by advertising that jewelry store last week. The point of the scene is to discuss #PantyGate. LVP is now saying she saw “what Mr. Girardi has been munching on for the past twenty years.” Classy. And a lie. How the hell do you see up someone’s skirt when you are sitting side by side? LVP is not that limber. She did manage to shove a hand up there though so perhaps she meant she grabbed what Mr. Girardi has been munching on.
Rinna is preparing for her QVC stint. From what I understand, this is a long laborious 24 hours of shilling product on live TV. I’m excited to see behind the scenes stuff. I love that long grey sweater, and the bronze. I would totally have lived in that when I was teaching. Rinna says she is now making enough money so that Harry never has to take an acting job he doesn’t love anymore. Between QVC and that Depends commercial, it seems they are set.
Meanwhile, Rinna’s two teenaged girls are unsupervised in NYC. Harry says he has been talking to them, and tracking them and they are where they are supposed to be and just fine. Back at QVC, Eileen calls in to support her. Because, real friends.
Rinna is back in Beverly Hills and is meeting up with Eileen to be downloaded on #PantyGate by Dorit. UGH. The girls are very nice to Dorit when she arrives. Big hugs. Complimenting her on her shoes. This will not last. Dorit’s whites don’t match and it’s distracting me.
Oh no. The escape room thing is coming to RHOBH.
On to #PantyGate. P.K.’s open leering at Erika all night long seems to be a nonissue. To hear Dorit tell it Erika was deliberately flashing her husband all night. We saw none of that. What we saw was Erika with a large black napkin on her lap. Eileen and Rinna are nodding and being very understanding. Especially Eileen who is always giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. She does ask Dorit if she addressed the situation with Erika at the time. I find it amusing that Dorit seems to think Erika would want P.K. leerying at her puss all night. Because, gross. Eileen even goes so far as to mock Erika by manspreading while pretending to be Erika. The talking heads tell a much different story though after Eileen was filled in.
Kyle is working on casting for her scripted series. She says it is really weird seeing all of these people auditioning to be her and her family. She did not let Porsha try out for the part of Kyle. Later, Kyle goes shopping with Dorit. Kyle sticks up for Erika. Dorit buys Erika panties. Dorit is hell-bent on humiliating Erika, and Kyle doesn’t want to miss it.
All Cast At The Escape Room
You know, it’s almost like they don’t consider the fact that maybe we watch other franchises. So when the Escape Room wants an infomercial segment on one show, and then we see it on the other that films at the same time, it make it all look so very staged.
Rinna, Eileen, Dorit and Erika are the first to arrive and Dorit tells Erika that they have all seen her “pretty puss” and her husband could not stop staring because she clearly has the prettiest vagina in the world. Dorit is laughing hysterically while telling Erika all of this. Because, you see this is going to be “British humor.” I could actually see what is about to happen being funny among friends. But Dorit has only seen Erika one or two times in her life and both of those times were at her job. She went in on Erika WAY too quickly for any of this to be funny. Erika is unhappy that she is being told publicly that P.K. caught a glimpse up her skirt and wonders why she was not informed of this before now. On camera. Then Dorit whips out the panties. Erika graciously accepts the panties saying they are beautiful and attempts to move on.
However, when one party tries to ignore and move on from nasty digs, it seems the other party will continue to jump up and down until their cuntish behavior is acknowledged. And so, when Kyle arrives, Dorit presses on. Then Erika has to give Dorit a little warning about her trying to come for the queen. Now Dorit, the aggressor, is trying to play victim. Did Erika threaten her? Dorit attacks Erika over and over and now she is suddenly threatening.
Meanwhile, the lady who thinks she is the queen is nowhere to be found in all of this. How convenient. Then it is suddenly LVP’s call time. LVP arrives and wants to know what they are talking about, because clearly she has no clue what is going on while standing offset snickering for the past 20 minutes.
It’s finally time to lock all of these bitches in a room. There is TEAM ERIKA with Rinna and Kyle, And TEAM LVP with Dorit and Eileen. Or perhaps not. At some point they all seemed to be working together. This escape rooms really don’t make for good TV. Eventually they made it out. Didn’t the RHOA have to be set free? I forget.
Afterwards, the women go out for dinner and drinks. Kyle mentions that Kim is doing well with her sobriety. LVP presses Erika for details on Dorit’s gift of panties. Erika suggests she ask Dorit how that went. Dorit says she doesn’t want Erika to feel bad. Erika says she doesn’t at all but does think that IF in fact P.K. saw anything he might have given her a subtle heads up instead of “maybe looking at it a little too long.” Swords are now drawn. Dorit now wants to withdraw and talk to Erika about it privately. Nope. Too late. Erika says they have nothing to discuss and this ends the conversation. Dear Lord. What is wrong with Dorit’s boobs in her talking head? She’s clearly not wearing a bra and they are just flopping about like oddly shaped sausages.
Erika orders another margarita and LVP seems a bit disappointed when she asks, “Is this the end of it then?” Both Erika and Dorit say at exactly the same time, “For me it is!” Then laugh and high-five. Oh my, LVP was not expecting that.
Next week: Things might be getting a bit worse for Dorit. And she and her scamming husband attack Eileen next, for of all things, not telling last year’s cast her mother had died just before the reunion.