By CJ Bomb
Hello everyone and welcome to THE FINALE of Project Runway. Leslie and I have our pens and vino ready to go. My husband has vacated the premises and gone over to Leslie’s house to watch football with her husband. I can’t imagine why he doesn’t want to watch with us. He tells me I’m too emotionally vested in this show. I tell him he’s an idiot, even though there might be a bit of truth to that statement. Let’s get started!
So we pick up where we left off with the designers looking shell-shocked as it sinks in they have a day and a half to fix everything that is wrong with their collections. Tim comes in and tells them they have an opportunity to go to Mood one last time and a budget of $500. Everyone jumps at the chance to grab extra materials.
Laurence is putting her linen outfits to the side which Leslie thinks is smart. She decides to put a flowy shirt underneath the fitted jacket and begins adding elements to her garments to make them more chic. Erin is using the embroidery machine to make more banana fabric. Leslie says that her banana fixation is beyond bananas. Rik is doing another mini dress in patent leather, similar to the leather dress the judges liked. He is also shortening and cutting all of his paisley denim to show off some more skin. He is sad cutting the fabric his mom and aunts helped him make, but it needed to be done. Roberi is creating the effect of the first dress he showed the judges last week on the rest of his garments. The normcore top and flowy shimmery skirt create and interesting juxtaposition that works and is unique.
Rik tells Tim he realizes he was trying to show everything and “Do it all.” He is mixing and matching his pieces and editing the more clunky garments. Tim thinks this is very wise and can now see one collection rather than three. I’m getting a Moschino vibe here. Leslie is reminded of the Fendi “monster” bags.
Laurence is discarding her teenage self. She has taken the potato sack dress and Laurenced it, adding pockets and leather elements. It does look much better. Tim is happy with her edits and the fact that we won’t see the model’s belly button. I ask Leslie what designer comes to mind when she looks at Laurence’s work. She says Roland Mouret, which is a very nice compliment. Roland does like a strong shoulder. I am worried that there isn’t enough of the strong point of view we have seen from Laurence all season.
Oh Erin. Tim is worried that she is crossing the high fashion border into crafty-town. It does look like she bought out Hobby Lobby. There is stuff ALL OVER her garments. I ask Leslie what she thinks and she echoes Rik’s assessment, if you take all the crap off the clothing, the garments are pretty basic shapes. I ask her who Erin’s work reminds her of, she says Kate Spade with crap all over it. I’m laughing and she asks if that is too mean. I tell her who cares. She says she just doesn’t identify with Erin’s work. I get a Betsey Johnson Jr. thing with Erin. Or Sesame Street. We have figured out her vibe. Harajuku girl meets Valley girl meets muppet.
Roberi tells Tim his theme is “Confusion.”. Tim tells him that’s not a good theme and that confusion needs to come together and become coherent. He is losing the tennis shoes and loafers and putting all his models in high heels. He’s also softened his grunge look by putting the model’s hair up. We are feeling better and better about Roberi. Leslie gets a McQueen vibe from Roberi. The softer more elegant side of Mcqueen, that is.
We get short retrospectives of each designer this season. Rik thinks he has come a long way and when we are shown the butt cheek outfit, Les and I agree. Roberi says it’s all about overcoming your limitations and getting better. Laurence is happy she made it to her goal of fashion week. Erin. Oh Erin. Leslie points out that Erin has come full circle from being overconfident, to being on the bottom, back to being overconfident. I knew I was, like awesome, and then I didn’t think I was so awesome, but now I’m like, sure I’m really, really awesome. Leslie keeps muttering, Millennials……….
Tim comes in to give everyone one last pep talk. He tells them they are great designers and wonderful people and that will take them far. Leslie and I adore Tim and want him to give us pep talks. We will happily pay for this service
Day of Runway
The designers wake up at 3:30. Erin is wearing a fruit dress. Leslie just puts her head in her hands and says it’s too much for her. Laurence is wearing a royal blue suit that is everything. Why isn’t this going down the runway? Rik looks very dapper and Roberi looks like it’s Tuesday. Everyone is dealing with last minute hiccups. One of Roberi’s models cancels, but Tim tells him they have “Hildy” for him. He takes a look at her photo and slowly says “Hilllldddy” when what he’s really saying is “fuuuuccckkkk.” One of Laurence’s skirts rips and she is frantically fixing it with 30 seconds to go. Only Rik is sauntering around smugly proclaiming how great his time management skills are. Dude, the last time you did that, you were in the bottom. FORESHADOWING. Leslie wonders if Roberi is getting the “everything is going wrong” edit because he’s going to win? I yell at her not to jinx Roberi.
What the hell is Heidi Klum wearing? Is that a tribute to Bowie? Or one of the Atlanta Housewives? Leslie thinks she looks like the tin man. I think she looks like a superhero. SUPERHO! I’m not sure that dress is supposed to be a dress. It is SHORT. Zendaya is the guest judge. Great. Leslie asks, isn’t she on the Disney channel? Gosh we are old. She’s very pretty. And very, very, young. We thought it was going to be J-Lo.
Rik comes out and tells the audience his theme is Bandits. Um, ok. We love the patent leather dress. The rest of the collection looks cohesive, well made and sort of cool, but I’m getting a more eighties vibe than the sixties. We lived through the eighties. Paisley denim was a thing. Not necessarily a good thing. Leslie is confused by the bathing suits.
Laurence’s theme is Finding the Light in the Darkness. It is beautiful, elegant and chic. Love the stitching on the jackets. The potato sack is awesome. The crowd freaks, Leslie and I freak. Leslie got chills, I got more wine. We love it, but again I am worried it’s not edgy enough for the judges.
Next up is Roberi. Still not quite sure what his theme is but love the clothes. Leslie and I agree that he has completely made it work. Ethereal and grounded at the same time.
Erin’s theme is like, PROJECT FUNWAY! Get it? The first look comes out and Leslie mutters, oh God, just no…….. She asks me if I find it costumey. I tell her I can’t talk right now. She then asks if that is a hand holding a banana, I tell her I still can’t talk because I am terrified this is going to win. After her show, Leslie says, “Do you know what the disturbing thing is?” I ask if there if there is only one thing. She says she thinks the banana reaching for the hand is making her think of some bizarro version of the Sistine chapel. What started off as whimsical has become too gimmicky for me.
Different people comment of who they think should win. The cute project runway super fan thinks Erin should win. Leslie screams at the TV, BECAUSE YOU ARE 12 YEARS OLD!!
Leslie and I both pick Roberi for the win and Laurence for runner up.
Up first is Rik. Heidi says it all come together. Zendaya thought it was super cool. Leslie rolls her eyes. Nina offers congratulations and says she loved the patent leather dress. She was skeptical about the denim but it worked. Zak says he needs more “rodeo princess” bling on the denim.
Heidi says she saw a lot of exciting things in Roberi’s show. Nina was amazed by his turnaround. She said it was beautiful and he made the fabric speak. Zak says it was feminine but cerebral and bravo. Zendaya loved the heaviness vs lightness. They all loved the dress with the bell sleeves. They loved the sentiment and thought it looked like a daydream. There is his theme.
Then things go bananas. Zak says Erin’s collection is pop glam, meets art school. It would be at home in Colette in Paris. I disagree with this. Collette is too cool a store for this. Les thinks he’s been hanging out in Brooks Brothers too long. Zendaya had so much fun watching it. Heidi loves the color combos and it makes her think. Nina thinks it had a sense of humor and style. It’s kooky yet chic.
Zak thought said Laurence’s collection was beautiful, wearable, chic and tough. He thinks it’s the most wearable, but had the least amount of impact on the runway. Uh-oh. Heidi thought it needed more wow moments. Uh-oh. Nina says, your DNA is in this cool tailoring, we just wished we had seen more of it. I put my head in my hands and Les asks me if I’m grieving. I am.
Heidi asks each person why they should win. Laurence says she gave them a piece of her and she left her heart and soul on the runway. Rik says he stuck to his aesthetic and showed so much variety in his range. Roberi said that this is the way he communicates and he does it with love. Erin says, Like, I’ve come so far. I think, like, winning Project Runway, would be like, so amazing. Leslie mutters, Millennials…………
Rik and Laurence are auf’ed. Their families are sad. Leslie and I are sad. Roberi and Erin and standing there. Leslie and I are holding hands and praying, noterinnoterinnoterin.
Erin wins. I scream. Both my kids come in thinking the house is burning down. Leslie turns to me and says she has completely lost her faith in this show. I keep chanting, I don’t understand, I don’t understand like it will help reverse time and put the PR universe in order. My friend Melissa texts me, WTF???? Erin says, This is insane! Leslie says, it certainly is. Erin goes on, I am like, so honored. It means, like sooooo much.
Do you agree with the judges? Leslie and I demand a recount.
Happy Holidays everyone! I will be watching PRoject Runway Junior tomorrow and recapping as I am scrambling to finish everything at home. (I’m really recuperating from this) Xo.