If I am ever asked on Jeopardy, what is the most common first letter of a reality show participant, clearly the answer is “K” and that doesn’t include any of the Kardashians. That is just the list in my categories and tags base. Can you list them all? I am looking forward to Erika’s shenanigans tonight. Let’s get straight to it.
Rinna and Amelia are up before the sun to fly to NYC to support Delilah whose modeling career has taken off. Delilah has signed with Elite and is modeling for Teen Vogue and has been getting a lot of work. Rinna is a proud mama.
Kyle and Sophia are also in NYC. Kyle is opening a new store in NYC. Kyle and her business partner arrive at the gutted construction site on the Upper East Side that will be the new store. Rinna shows up to support Kyle. There is a cute montage about how handy Harry Hamlin is and the sorts of things they need him to help with. Like plumbing, and lingerie drawer organization and so forth.
Rinna goes with Delilah on a go see for elite. She says that she sometimes wishes she could talk to Yolanda, but she fucked that up. At the meeting Delilah says she wasn’t allowed to model until she was seventeen and that was okay because she was not that cute. I love Delilah and her self-depreciating humor. Rinna gives a full description of her birthing experience and how hard it was and how long Delilah’s head was and how Harry Hamlin thought Delilah was deformed. Delilah retaliates in her confession saying that Rinna embarrasses her running around naked when her friends are over.
Kyle and Kim take their daughters to lunch and that is what the photo above is. Rinna is leaving them in NYC alone for two days While Rinna goes off to a QVC gig. They are 18 and 15. What could possibly go wrong?
Dorit is tagging along with LVP to shop for Ken’s birthday present. LVP is in the happy of buying Ken something she wants. Last year, it was miniature ponies. She takes Harrison into the upscale jewelry store. That’s so European annoying. She looks at a watch that costs a million dollars and isn’t going to cut into her shoe money for that. She buys a $25,000 one instead. That actually seems reasonable to me, but I’m a jewelry person. Actually, I need to auction off some of mine. It’s mostly been sitting in the bank since 2010 when my house was robbed. Ken claims to love his watch. At least this one is actually for him.
Lisa talks about finding and apartment for Max. She recently bought one. I didn’t post about it. I forget how much it was, but it was several million, maybe five or six.
There is nothing I hate more when it comes to recapping is the constant flipping back and forth between the housewives. Let me get four or five sentences in before you switch to another storyline. Erika is working on her video latest video again.
Vince is taking Eileen to clean out her mother’s and say goodbye. I don’t think this is something I feel comfortable recapping.
Eileen lost a sister last year and her brother and her mother in the last year. Eileen goes to see a therapist. Then there were several more. Eileen says that she is embarrassed to keep telling people someone very close to her has died. That is why she didn’t tell the other housewives. Eileen feels shame when she has to tell someone something that makes them feel awkward. This makes a lot of sense.
Yet Another White Party
One of the rarely discussed issues with these franchise and it’s predisposition for white parties is the issue of underwear. It requires nude underwear otherwise it’s likely with sheer fabric that white underwear will show. Kyle realizes this after she arrives and asks LVP who is en route if she happens to have an extra pair of nude panties with her. She does not.
Erika, Kyle, LVP and Ken, and Dorit and “PK” are at a preparty for the party. I think this is like in college when you used to predrink some PBRs before going out for fancy drinks that cost five bucks a pop. Or something. Kyle has drink of choice regrets for ordering something more civilized when Erika goes straight for the margaritas. Kyle announces that she has just secured Alicia Silverstone to play her mom’s character on her new scripted show she is executive producing about her life growing up as a Richards kid. Kyle is so excited. I am so happy for her success. Erika is excited for her small role on Y&R. Of course she brings this up because LVP has been begging for a walk-on ever since Eileen was on the show. I love and see you there, Erika Jayne.
There was a bit of an editing situation that leads us to Erika saying to Kyle, “You know what we should do? Let’s get British accents and start insulting people.” They previous showed PK kind of mocking LVP’s attempt at being an actress, but clearly something was said to Erika because she would not come after anyone for insulting LVP, that is her entire intention.
Dorit starts talking about Americans and what they need to do and Erika shuts that down with a quickness saying, “You’re an American! You were born in Connecticut!”
Then, quite randomly, LVP seems to be putting her hand under Erika’s skirt saying that Kyle needs some underwear. Erika jumps back with, ” I don’t have any. That’s right, don’t put your hands up my skirt unless you want to see what’s up there! See? Don’t push me, Miss Vanderpump. I’ll take you there!” Atta girl, EJ.
Apparently, we were the ones not invited to the white party at PUMP? How is that possible? The next thing we see is Dorit and PK in a kitchen in their house where Dorit is learning how to feed a child. There is not a single thing on the countertops other than a microwave. Not a coffeepot, not a utensil, not a pot holder not a fork. This means “short term rental” then back to the air mattresses. Wait, two frames later there are all of those things and a giant fax machine. None of that was there the moment I paused. Odd.
Apparently the white party they were going to a Daily Mail party. I wonder who didn’t want to publicize the other? That sounds like some behind the scenes drama right there.
PK basically tells his wife how much he enjoyed staring at Erika’s lady garden prior to the party. He seems like such a swell guy doesn’t he? Don’t you all wish you had procreated with this one? PK explains it happened when LVP shoved her hand up Erika’s dress. But PK is trying to blame Erika. Kyle seems in on this one to me. Who calls their BFF en route asking for fresh panties. I’ve called my girlfriend who was coming to meet me in Orange County to ask if she could pick me up some granny panties as I totally didn’t pack any, but that’s a whole nother story about a really fun trip.
Next Week: Rinna does QVC and Dorit gives Erika a pair of panties after she and the other ladies have discussed her lady garden. Oh there will be HELL.TO. PAY. for that move, darling. Dorit just did a queen pawn opening for LVP’s board and she will be sacrificed, hard.