Tamara Tattles

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You are here: Home / Entertainment News / Top Chef: Southern Hospitality

Top Chef: Southern Hospitality

December 8, 2016 by tamaratattles 62 Comments

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I’m totally looking forward to the episode. I loved everything Charleston and almost all of the chefs seem like people who want to see succeed. Except oddly, Emily the homegirl with the bad attitude.  Also there are no idiot chefs “from Atlanta.”  As a Georgia girl, I am already appalled by the folks on reality TV claiming to represent Atlanta.  Alabama Jim is just an adorable and joyous being. It looks like it’s going to be the happy fun season we all sorely need. And then there is John Tesar, an extremely talented chef with a dark side that includes throwing cutlery in the kitchen and calling employees retarded. Brilliant and self destructive often discussed in the same conversations as Bourdain, who gets away with a bit more, because he’s hot. I probably will be pulling for Tesar for the win.

Yum, we start with Frank Lee and a low country crab boil. The only thing better is she crab soup. These are my people and I wish I was there.

The elimination challenge is a team challenge. No one likes that. It’s rookies versus veterans. Emily is irked that Padma calls the new chef “rookies.”  The two teams go to two different local homes for inspiration to create a traditional low country meal.  The veterans already have the better supper. They have a Gullah chef, while the rookies have a local restaurant owner with an emphasis on biscuits.

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I really miss living in South Carolina. I was teaching at an HBIC  a couple hours inland once, and we all got very sick with some sort of flulike thing that knocked half the school on our asses. One of my students came to my house, as I lay on my deathbed with an old paper cup from 7-11 and made me drink this random concoction that could have been anything. It was from his Gullah grandmama. Those of us who drank it lived and the rest of the infected all died.  Okay nobody died. But we were all back at school the next day in perfect health and the others lingered on being sick for at least another full week.

The butter beans and tomato pie at the biscuit lady’s house has me drooling. I am loving these local scenes.  The Geechee guy served tea in red solo cups. They were outside on a picnic table but still, dude.

Last week, we learned that Tom doesn’t like okra. John is going to do a dish with okra. It’s a staple of low country cuisine, but if I were Tom, I’d let someone else have that. Fried okra is one of my favorite things. You can get it as a side at Captain D’s. I’ve made many pass through the Captain D’s drive thru on road trips just for fried okra and a sweet tea. I do not like the slimey kind of okra.  The fact that okra has been brought up on both episodes so far means John will either win or go home with his shrimp, okra and rice dish.

On the rookie team Annie wants to do Hoppin John, but the Italian wants to do that. Actually Emily needs to do that, idiots.  It’s the most Charleston dish and you have a chick from Charleston. Annie says fine, she’ll make the slaw, but some other guy takes that. This team is not cohesive at all. Annie ends up with tomato pie, and she’s butthurt about it. I don’t know where she is from but yankees have no business making tomato pie. She probably doesn’t even know to use Dukes mayo.  This is non negotiable. The rookies practically brawl at the checkout. I did not see a jar of Dukes on the conveyor belt. When the rookies get back, they realize they should have included biscuits. Because, you know, biscuit lady. People are actually yelling at Jim to make the biscuits. Jim points out they didn’t buy the stuff to make biscuits, like buttermilk.  Some of these rookies are dicks. The veteran female chefs are hanging out drinking wine and chattering away.

Casey doesn’t want to make real collard greens. She’s going to make fancy pants collard greens. Good luck with that. I mean it might work out just fine but it’s not a southern dish.  The Italian chick is making hoppin john without rice.  For the record, there are two ingredients in hoppin john, rice and blackeyed peas. It’s not rocket surgery.  Annie is not making tomato pie either. She’s making a tomato tart. No Dukes in site. No bueno. This is painful to watch.  At least they have tons of cast iron skillets. The guy who burnt his veggies last week burned them again this week. Burnt broccoli. Broccoli is a genetically modified vegetable that does not occur naturally anywhere and is relatively new to the US. It has no place on a traditionally southern dinner. Sure we all eat it now, but that is not what this challenge is about.

Right away, the biscuit lady is pissed that there are no biscuits. It is a travesty. Jim probably should have made some in addition to his regular dish. It’s the easiest thing in the world to make. A five year old could do it. If they had buttermilk. Jim just made a grits dish. Also easy. He had plenty of time to make biscuits.  Emily’s shrimp and pickled cukes and onions was a hit. The pork loin was not. Annie’s yankee tomato tarts looked amazing, but the judges didn’t care for me. They crust was a bit raw. Slyva, who is a Haitian dude, made a great cornish game hen (nice to see that making a come back) with rice and a chow chow. It’s a hit.  Haitian and Gullah are not too far apart.  Jamie, the veggie burner’s dish missed the mark.

The veteran’s team serves everything family style. Smart.  Shirley’s pork and oyster stew looks amazing.  The judges loved it, the Gullah dude seemed to think it was just alright. The biscuit lady loves John’s rice, crap and okra dish. Tom even liked it despite using the word slime.  The biscuits did not pass the biscuit ladies inspection. Why is there ceviche on this table? Casey’s collards won over the Gullah guy her addition of trout roe made everyone happy.  An eggplant and okra dish was also a hit.  Katsuji made a stew with a hot pineapple sauce.  Biscuit lady loved it.  Sam made fried chicken.  The judges liked it.

I’m so hungry.

The veteran team won. You should never risk it and go no biscuit, rookies. Casey’s collards,  John’s rice crap and okra dish and Sheldon’s eggplant and okra dish were the top three. I knew it was going to be all about the okra.  Or not. Casey’s fancypants collards won.

The bottom three dishes on the rookie team were BJ’s pork loin that I don’t even remember and apparently didn’t comment on,  Annie’s raw tomato tart,  Jaimie’s broccoli and squash dish.  Okay BJ is the one who spent over 20% of the entire budget on a pork loin that didn’t get cooked so he had to sear it in the skillet to keep it from being served raw. It was still undercooked.  What’s worse? Raw pork or raw pie dough or the guy who keeps fucking up his vegetable dishes?  Frank Lee is irritated by the tomato pie. It was truly a calamity. But you can die from raw pork.

Sorry, Annie. You can’t make a tomato pie without Dukes. Please pack your knives and go.

Next Week: Padma has the best meal she has ever had on top chef.

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Filed Under: Entertainment News, Top Chef Tagged With: Amanda Baumgarten, Annie Pettry, BJ Smith, Brooke Williamson, Casey Thompson, Emily Hahn, Entertainment News, Gerald Sombright, Jamie Lynch, Jim Smith, John Tesar, Katsuji Tanabe, Sam Talbot, Sheldon Simeon, Shirley Chung, Silvia Barban, Sylva Senat, Top Chef Charleston

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. ooopsi (@hobbyath) says

    December 9, 2016 at 12:58 am

    Damn, I live in the wrong state. I am drooling big time over this.

    Reply
  2. Beth Bowling says

    December 9, 2016 at 1:11 am

    Lord God, how do you NOT KNOW that buttermilk with vinegar is a great substitute for buttermilk? I make biscuits almost every day and I know this!!! ( Yes I’m trained but not a professional chef)! Okra is the bomb when made right! To screw up veggies is just lazy and they need to go home!
    What they seem to miss is how Lowcountry food is simple but elegant! A boil is gorgeous, it’s all about Lowrey and Old Bay and timing! It’s truly a talent. Just like biscuits, there’s love involved!
    This made me hungry and sad… very bad combination!!!

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      December 9, 2016 at 3:43 am

      I’m pretty sure everyone knows that. But you don’t serve biscuits to a biscuit queen with that sort of concoction and I think Jim was wise not to take the biscuit hit that was being shoved on him. While I said in my post that biscuits are simple, and they are, I would not want to be the one to make biscuits for someone who makes real southern biscuits for a living. I’ve already forgotten what she said about the other biscuits. I would not have stepped up to do that either, especially if I had a winning dish simmering. And I would NEVER make biscuits even for me and the dog without real buttermilk. ANNIE should have just made biscuits. Clearly she didn’t know how to make tomato pie. She could have probably figured out how to make a biscuit.

      Reply
  3. The Lady Cocotte says

    December 9, 2016 at 2:00 am

    Loving this season! Shirley is my girl but the rookie nerd who won last week is adorbs. I still have a soft spot for Sam but those arched botox brows are killing me.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      December 9, 2016 at 2:31 am

      I am really skeeved out by Sam. I know he is supposed to be the big ladies man, and I probably liked him ten years ago, but I hope he goes soon.

      I am not sure if it froze last night as I haven’t been paying attention to the weather but I went out in a commercial in the dark and picked all my green tomatoes. I’m thinking I might try a green tomato (with a few force ripened reds with them. The thing is, if it doesn’t work out that is A LOT of wasted cheese. And who wants to waste cheese? not me.

      I had a brief moment where I actually wanted to get up and do something, and that something was to slice and salt my green tomatoes and cover them with some of my homemade pepper sauce. But that moment passed. lol.

      I am completely out of onions. AND I WAS AT PUBLIX TODAY. Usually I have at least two kinds on hand, I’m sort of an onion freak which may be the reason I will die old (hopefully) and alone (kinda also hopefully, lol.) If I can get one more dose of antibiotics in me before bed, I may feel like going ONCE MORE to Publix for onions and fresh basil. Then I might attempt a tomato pie with green tomatoes. I don’t know why I kinda want to marinate them in hot sauce but I do.

      Oh and I am trying to do more of my incoherent personal rambling on Twitter. And there I mentioned that GHETTO PUBLIX IS CLOSING NEXT WEDNESDAY. They are opening a new fancy store in the fancypants area a couple of miles over. /Heavy sigh.

      I’m ready to start 2017,

      Fun Fact: TT’s Project Runway recapper extraordinaire is not just a fashion expert, or a professional yogi, but also a really good chef. Maybe she will give me some hints on the savory green tomato pie. Even though she is a DAMN yankee. ( A Damn yankee is one who move here. lol. )

      To be honest, I was not impressed by either of the home cooked suppers. But Frank Lee… now that was cool. He actually kind of sort of retired this year. And has written a Cook book called The S.N.O.B experience which I assume recounts his experiences at his restaurant SNOB. For those not familiar with Charleston, the rich people all live “South of Broad Street” So his restaurant, SNOB is short for Slightly North of Broad. Anyway. you can pre order his book on Amazon here.https://www.amazon.com/S-N-B-Experience-Slightly-North/dp/159932752X This is not a paid ad, and I don’t know anything about it other than, It;s fucking Frank Lee. And there are plenty of snotty recipes in there for the yankees, damn and otherwise as well.

      Reply
      • justanothermary says

        December 9, 2016 at 10:34 am

        I made green tomato salsa this year. I’ve never tried it but found a recipe and canned it. I usually don’t open the stuff I’ve canned until Christmas with the family but since I’m alone now, I’m not sure what I’ll do with it all.

        Reply
        • Katherine 2.0 says

          December 9, 2016 at 4:57 pm

          Mary,
          Open a jar and let us know what that’s like! I used my green tomatoes in a casserole with bell peppers, some shredded cheddar and a custard of eggs and yogurt on top. So good. Never tried green tomato salsa.

          Reply
    • Overeducatedopinion says

      December 9, 2016 at 11:43 am

      Agree he is slimy and gross right now. He’s been “cooking” at a party place in the Hamptons that poses as a restaurant and gets complaints from neighbors and code violations- in short a place where fried stuff is there to soak up cocktails.

      Reply
  4. Margarett says

    December 9, 2016 at 4:32 am

    I enjoyed tonight’s episode. I am always surprised when the chefs make cooking errors…undercooked pie crust and pork loin, burned veggies two times in a row. I am not surprised when (last week) I scorch a frittata.

    So far, Shirley is again my favorite, but the Alabama state chef is in second place “with a bullet”.

    Reply
  5. tamaratattles says

    December 9, 2016 at 4:59 am

    I think the pie crust was a rookie tomato pie mistake. She needed to lay down some cornmeal and to salt the tomatoes to draw out the water. It probably wasn’t so much raw as it is soggy.

    And Tom seems so unable to judge this season. He thinks Hugh Atcheson can cook southern food.

    Reply
    • SJ says

      December 9, 2016 at 12:22 pm

      Hugh has a restaurant in Athens GA, that’s probably why he thinks he can judge southern cooking.

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        December 9, 2016 at 1:08 pm

        You don’t say. #eyeroll

        Reply
  6. Ingrid says

    December 9, 2016 at 8:44 am

    the guy with the raw pork should have gone, the fact that he wasted over 100 bucks worth of pork like that is a crime. Even so, I am really hungry now.

    Reply
    • Queenmarie88 says

      December 9, 2016 at 11:27 am

      I think he should’ve gone too.

      The way he just grabbed his big ol loin and plopped it up there without even asking—-pretty rude—and I think ruining the whole loin was worse than a pie crust mistake. Oh well. I don’t know shit about cooking but I LOVE Top Chef ! The things they do just amaze me. I could never cook like that in a million years.

      I was thrilled to see Graham Elliot on the first episode—-was hoping he’d be there last night. He’s way better than Hugh.

      Reply
    • Overeducatedopinion says

      December 9, 2016 at 11:40 am

      Agree. Why did he get so much anyway? He served like 10 portions it seems like he bought 20. Also pork chops are supposed to be a cheaper cut with a bone in. Not the loin.

      Reply
      • Queenmarie88 says

        December 10, 2016 at 7:18 am

        When loin man started saying earlier in the episode how great he was and how the vets would soon see that he was on the same level as them and blah blah blah I knew he was about to fuck up his dish and he did. They love to show people bragging beforehand and then royally screwing up lol.

        Reply
  7. Shae says

    December 9, 2016 at 9:10 am

    Loved this episode, but man, Emily has a piss poor attitude. Hostile, defensive, easily offended, etc. She needs to lighten up. She thinks they’re not “rookies” but they showed their inexperience by the way they handled the food shopping and meal planning. It’s to be expected the vets would know better, but cmon, someone wasn’t smart enough to make a master list then divide it amongst all the people to ensure everything was bought with no dupes? They need to be smarter.

    I’m loving seeing the southern cooking because I honestly know very little about that cuisine, very interesting to see and looks delish!

    Reply
    • Ktina says

      December 9, 2016 at 12:46 pm

      Fried, breaded, lard and really sweet tea.

      Reply
  8. Dee says

    December 9, 2016 at 9:17 am

    Southern cooking is my favorite! My family came from Georgia so country ham, biscuits at every meal was the best! They made a hash I haven’t been able to find any place else. The search continues!

    Reply
  9. Judith Vance says

    December 9, 2016 at 10:40 am

    Forgive me if I have gotten this wrong, but I thought the chef who made the tomato pie said she got a mention in the Wall St. Journal months prior to the competion for her tomato pie dish. So I was expecting more from her.

    As a Yankee, I’ve learned you southern ladies enjoy making us northerners feel inept about biscuits. Best biscuits I ever had and the sugar wouldn’t melt in her mouth cook “forgot” to put in the recipe White Lily flour with baking powder in it and the right kind of lard. Soft southern wheat is the way to go and not what ever that white grease was in the grocery store here. Had to go to an actual pig farmer for the good stuff.

    Reply
  10. Overeducatedopinion says

    December 9, 2016 at 11:36 am

    I was mad the eliminated chef did not stand up for herself and explain how the team decided she was their target and screwed her at every turn. Burnt vegetables for the second time and a dish actually described as watery??? Gross! Undercooked pork? Also gross and cause for elimination on multiple previous occasions. The judges, like society, are sexist af. I’ve watched every season – if a woman and a man are both up for elimination, the woman goes home nearly every time. I’m starting to get so sick of Tom and Parma. Tom with his rapid blinking, sarcasm, and know-it-all BS. “Grains are making a comeback”? Wtf is that even supposed to mean? I’m pretty sure consumption of many grains never slowed down. Meaningless elite bubble BS. And Padma with her tits out constantly while people are trying to eat. Gross, trashy and rude. It’s not a modeling shoot it’s work/a formal meal. Figure out a way to look cute without putting your gross boobs in the food. It’s really not that hard Padma. Gail does an ok job of it. Try a f-cking different neckline, just once. How about a sleeve every now and again? Ugh.

    Reply
  11. Toni says

    December 9, 2016 at 1:01 pm

    Pork guy definitely should have gone home. Colicciho has blasted people for less egregious offenses to a beautiful cut of meat. He was also a total jerk at the check-out but honestly, a lot of Top Chef is standing up for yourself. Someone could/should have called him out on it. Is it just me or does Pork guy have a Seth Rogen quality?

    Tomato pie girl is another example of not standing up for yourself. She let the others walk all over her and took a dish she didn’t want to do.

    The one on the veteran team who did the biscuits said there were no racks in the oven – it would be pretty damn hard to not burn the bottom of the biscuits with no oven racks to control the heat distribution around the biscuits. Pretty shady production move.

    Back to this tomato pie – can someone please school this Yankee? Is it sweet? Savory? Any recipes you could point me to?

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      December 9, 2016 at 1:17 pm

      It’s one of those things you might not like, Toni. It’s very, um, let’s go with… uncouth. I have a difficult time with the fact that mayo is in any cooked item, myself. But it really is fab. Bascially you get a pie crust (I do not make my own crust, I generally don’t even eat the crusts) line it with sliced, salted and drained tomatoes. some chopped or thinly sliced onions, and basil and whatever else is in your garden, like parsley or chives if you have them, or not. Then it is basically a mixture of TONS OF CHEESE and a cup of Dukes mayo. Bake at 350. I am probably leaving something out. The main variations are in the cheese. At one of those “high end chef southern restauants” they will use really good cheese. You can you any kind of cheese you have and more than one kind if you want. This is something that you might use a Paula Deen recipe as a rough guide.

      It’s savory. Kind of like a heart clogging vegetarian quiche.

      Reply
      • RebeccaBartholow says

        December 9, 2016 at 1:46 pm

        Tamara it looked there was a top crust on the tomato pie–is that traditional?
        I’m 10 miles south of the Mason-Dixon and have never had a tomato pie and my life now feels incomplete.

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          December 9, 2016 at 2:39 pm

          There is no top crust on tomato pie. You did not see a tomato pie on the show. You saw a tomato tart which looked delicious but apparently was not.

          If you don’t salt your maters after slicing and let them drain in a collander your crust will be soggy. This doesn’t really bother me as it is soggy with tomato juice. But if I were on Top Chef, I’d drain the tomatoes and sprinkle some cornmeal over the top of my crust to absorb the excess moisture.

          Reply
          • RebeccaBartholow says

            December 9, 2016 at 4:11 pm

            I thought the Biscuit Lady had made a tomato pie for the chefs? I’ve made Vidalia pies before with a saltine crust. Not bad for a Yankee.

            Reply
      • Toni says

        December 9, 2016 at 4:30 pm

        Yeah – that all sounds delicious!

        I’ve gotta get my hands on some Dukes. I saw a recipe for what was termed the best chicken salad using Dukes, bottled Italian dressing, honey, white meat chicken, celery, and pecans.

        Reply
        • Katherine 2.0 says

          December 9, 2016 at 4:55 pm

          The honey is the key.

          Reply
  12. Karebear says

    December 9, 2016 at 3:44 pm

    Both my grandmother’s made biscuits from scratch, I remember how fascinating to watch their hands though the whole process and how messy it looked when they mixed in the buttermilk but I learned over the years that’s the secret to perfect tender flaky biscuits.
    Chefs worth their weight should know this by heart.

    Reply
  13. Bridgett says

    December 9, 2016 at 4:51 pm

    Annie is from Kentucky, so southern enough to know better. Her problem wasn’t her cooking, it was lack of a backbone….if you aren’t willing to stand your ground and make the food you want, you will go home.

    Loving Jim, he is sweet and was smart to let his team bully him into making biscuits without proper ingredients.

    Biscuit lady said vets’ biscuits were too done on bottom, Tom was shocked because he thought they were under in the middle, but everyone loved addition of corn.

    Another great episode, love that it is so much about the food and not just drama.

    Reply
  14. Jane says

    December 9, 2016 at 6:10 pm

    Watching the show on replay tonight. I adore tomato pie, but can’t have it in the house. I’ll eat it until I am sick. I use Hellman’s, Duke’s has too much vinegar for me. Tomato pie sounds healthy, but it’s basically baked fat topped with a thin layer of tomatoes?.
    Something to try is artichoke relish. So yummy on sandwiches and meats. Mrs Sassards is available on line. I was going to make my own, but found out it’s a two day process… cleaning, brining, canning.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      December 9, 2016 at 7:14 pm

      “I use Hellman’s, Duke’s has too much vinegar for me. ”

      And they say I SAY terrible things in comments.

      This is blasphemy.

      Reply
      • Jane says

        December 10, 2016 at 10:01 am

        Now wait just a minute young lady, Hellman’s is the best. Bless your heart?.

        Reply
  15. T D says

    December 9, 2016 at 8:30 pm

    This makes me hungry for collard greens with vinegar and black eyed peas with some corn bread to sop my plate recalling all the flavor Ms. Lou brought to the plate.

    Reply
    • Jaded says

      December 11, 2016 at 3:14 pm

      Yum! Mustard greens are my favorite.

      Reply
  16. SB says

    December 9, 2016 at 10:37 pm

    How they sent Annie home over BJ the pork loin guy is beyond me. I thought that was a no brainer. Duke’s mayo is amazing and it makes pasta salad taste sooo good!

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      December 9, 2016 at 11:00 pm

      As someone here reminded me, Tom does a complete vagicide every season at the beginning leaving only one or two females at the end. Um sorry, spoiler alert. He hates women chefs. That said I was not sad to see this one go. She was never going to make it. Too soft. Like her pie crust.

      Reply
  17. Heidi says

    December 9, 2016 at 10:39 pm

    I was really loving the pork guy until this episodes Porkgate. That was so very uncool of him to buy a $120 loin when the whole teams budget was $500!! WTF was he thinking?!? It just showed his arrogance which turned me right off of him. And yes, he is very Seth Rogan’ish.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      December 10, 2016 at 12:07 am

      love #PorkGate

      Why didn’t I use that?

      Reply
      • Heidi says

        December 10, 2016 at 8:36 am

        I was also irritated when a judge, pretty sure it was Tom, said part of the challenge is to understand the ingredients and time allotment and the dish they are making. They voted the girl out because she tried to make a pie crust in 2.5 hours but didn’t vote the guy out who tried to roast a HUGE WHOLE PORK LOIN in 2.5 hours? Bullshit move.

        Reply
  18. Jane says

    December 10, 2016 at 10:59 am

    Finally got to watch the show and agree pork guy should have gone home…. and he prides himself on cooking meat! I thought the contrasts between the biscuit lady and Gullah guys meals fairly showed Charleston’s hospitality… casual, but high end vs homey.

    The kitchen scenes gave me claustrophobia and the lack of oven shelves was a low move. Mcgradys is Sean Brock’s newly renovated restaurant. According to the local paper, it has a tasting menu only for $275.

    If you visit Charleston,
    here’s my take on the restaurants/chefs that I have visited. One of the tastiest meals I have had was at SNOB (Frank Lee). Everything was memorable. The Charleston Grill (Michelle Weaver) is southern elegant with marvelous food. It tastes better if someone else is paying. Hominy Grill serves delicious food at reasonable prices, sort of elevated home cooking. Very crowded at popular times. Husk (Sean Brock) was good, but not all that. I also find it annoying that no menu is available until the day of service.

    These restaurants are very active in community events and fundraisers. A friend volunteers at the food bank and they regularly get prepared food sent over to serve. So, if you can’t get a reservation, you might try the homeless shelter?

    I applied for a diner spot on the show, but was deemed unworthy. Consider the remarks in light of this and that I prefer Hellman’s.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      December 10, 2016 at 6:02 pm

      Dear God, woman. You didn’t tell them about your Hellmann’s affliction on the application did you. This is something you keep to yourself, like a herpes flare up.Both are things you have mostly brought on yourself should cause such shame and embarrassment that one would never bring it up in conversation.

      I hear you about restaurants that are better when someone else plays. That restaurant in CHS for me is 84 Queen. It may not even be there anymore but I got it in my head at an early age that was the height of fine dining. I literally only eat she crab soup when I am in Charleston. Nothing else is worthy of taking up valuable stomach space. AND I HAVE A LOT OF STOMACH SPACE. I piddle around downtown all day long and go in and have a cup or bowl and usually a beer at every place that sells the stuff.

      My favorite place for it ususally still ends up being AW Shucks which is sort of a chain restaurant one step above TGIFs. But I love their she crab soup.

      Reply
      • Jane says

        December 10, 2016 at 6:15 pm

        OK, I am laughing about the Mayo. Generally, I don’t brag about my love of Hellman’s, but they could probably tell I was a yokel who would spoil the ambience.
        82 Queen still going strong. Love their charming patio.

        Reply
  19. NAA says

    December 10, 2016 at 12:22 pm

    So how do you make proper biscuits?

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      December 10, 2016 at 6:17 pm

      To make biscuits, you need to have a can of CRISCO and a bag of White Lily SELF RISING flour IN YOUR REFRIGERATOR days before you are making them. In fact that is where those two staples should always be stored. You might even stick a bit of Crisco in the freezer for a few minutes before cutting it into the flour

      *Note, rich people use butter not Crisco. I’ve never tried that. This is how my family makes them. I;m sure butter would be delicious. Because, butter.

      Put some flour in a bowl. add a pinch or three of baking soda (either Clabber Girl or the Indian head one) tiny pinch of salt, then cut in some crisco with one of those hiding horseshoe shaped pastery cutter things mix the Crisco in with the flour “until its kind of mealy” or use a fork. or use your hands, but it is best to touch the dough as little as possible with your hands. You want to keep it cold.

      Add buttermilk slowly until it looks like dough but pebble like dough. You can sprinkle in more flour if you overdo the butter milk.

      Flour the counter and a rolling pin and roll it out. Again don’t work the dough to much you just want it flattened out evenly. Use an old Jelly jar or a glass to cutt out the biscuit. Put on a baking sheet and into a hot oven. 450 degrees is about right. You want the cold biscuits going into a hot oven.

      Cook til done.

      Eat.

      Reply
      • Judith Vance says

        December 10, 2016 at 6:46 pm

        You are killing me!! I have had to go gluten free and one of the nastier foodstuffs I’ve tried was premade, frozen g-f biscuits. I miss baking horribly and don’t tell me to just suck it up and learn to use alternative grains. I MISS WHEAT!!

        Reply
      • NAA says

        December 10, 2016 at 6:51 pm

        So do you use the pastry cutter to mix in the buttermilk also? I didn’t understand that part. Oh, and there are somethings where you just use lard, not butter. Sounds like biscuits is one of them. I’ll try to find the flour and give it a go.

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          December 10, 2016 at 7:54 pm

          ONCE YOU CUT THE LARD INTO THE FLOUR YOU ARE DONE WITH THE PASTRY CUTTER. You then stir in the butter milk.

          Reply
          • Sam says

            December 11, 2016 at 11:27 am

            My granny made the best biscuits in all of creation. When I was a small child, she used lard. We slaughtered a hog every year (we being my daddy and papa) back then so lard was always on hand. Later, when hogs were out of the picture, she used Crisco. She had a hundred year old wooden bowl she mixed biscuits in, oblong and worn thin in the center. I think one of my aunts has it now, but I digress. She would mix those biscuits without even looking at the dough and she never used a dough cutter, just her hands. That dough would turn into a ball that was softer than a baby’s butt. She pinched off little balls, laid then on an ancient cookie sheet, gently patted them flat with her fingers, added a dollop of softened butter on top, and baked. Those biscuits were served every meal, every day. Leftover ones lived in a little wicker basket on the back of the stove and we would be just as likely to grab one of those as a tea cake when running through her kitchen. God, I miss her. And I can’t make those biscuits to save my life. Then again, nobody can.

            My sister blasphemously uses a stick of frozen butter to make hers. Admittedly, they are delicious straight out of the oven with nothing on them. Still…I miss Granny’s so much I could cry!

            Reply
  20. NAA says

    December 10, 2016 at 12:24 pm

    Also, as long as I’m asking questions. 🙂

    What’s the difference really between a good old fashioned New England clam bake and a low country boil? Is it really just the seasoning and the choice of shellfish, because the rest seems pretty familiar?

    Poke. poke.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      December 10, 2016 at 6:21 pm

      Well, there are no clams in a low country boil. It’s a shrimp (sometimes with crabs) thing. I suppose you could through in clams if you had some handy. And you boil them with your Old Bay and other southern seasonings. It’s not a very seasoned dish. It’s basically boiled shrimp with corn and potatoes and whatever. It kind of gets old when you live there.

      I’ve never been to a clam bake. I do know the wardrobe choices would be quite different.

      Reply
      • NAA says

        December 10, 2016 at 6:53 pm

        Btw, I eat at Craftbar all the time and Craft occasionally. I also used to order in from ‘which craft but the one near me closed. What do you wanna know?

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          December 10, 2016 at 7:55 pm

          Um my first question is what is Craftbar?

          Reply
          • NAA says

            December 10, 2016 at 8:00 pm

            One of Tom Colicchio’s restaurants. It’s on Broadway around 19th Street. We eat at the bar a lot. Isn’t he involved with this show or is that a different Tom?

            Reply
            • tamaratattles says

              December 10, 2016 at 8:08 pm

              Oh it’s that Tom. He’s a twat. Keep him up there by you.

              And I am deliberately working on making it seem like we are two different people. I’m tricky and always working on my numerous identities.

            • NAA says

              December 10, 2016 at 8:09 pm

              Oh it’s that Tom. He’s a twat. Keep him up there by you.

              And I am deliberately working on making it seem like we are two different people. I’m tricky and always working on my numerous identities.

          • NAA says

            December 10, 2016 at 8:00 pm

            You need to do a much better job being me. It’s almost like we’re two different people.

            Reply
  21. lavidaLinda says

    December 10, 2016 at 12:58 pm

    Mr. BBQ needed to go, followed by soggy burnt veggies, then bad pie crust.

    Clearly the final is going to consist of vets but I’m rooting for Alabama Jim!

    I need to go back Charleston.

    Reply
  22. Peachy Keen says

    December 10, 2016 at 2:39 pm

    I was so put off by Emily and her rant about being called a “rookie”..because she’s a “chef”. Get in game girl.. You are a rookie for Top Chef..that’s it. Prove .. next time you can be called a veteran.. You will not last!

    Reply
  23. Guest Appearance says

    December 10, 2016 at 5:05 pm

    I have been thinking of a few of my vegetarian friends as food snobs so now I have a Christmas present for one of the families. I was told this past Thanksgiving that the planet will be saved by eliminating meat and everyone being vegetarian. I was a guess and refrained from comment and laughter.

    My Food Snob definition: paying $12/lb for quinoa, $7/ for hand cut chicken, adopting gluten free diet with no medical condition and now food companies are placing the word gluten free on dumb items like a sack of potatoes, soda, etc

    My life is bad enough that I had to give up all that good southern style cooking and eating but I’m never going to the up meat for health problem is have. I’ll regret these words later, like when they take me of the feeding tube and life support.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      December 10, 2016 at 6:22 pm

      No you won’t a life with out meat is not a life worth living.

      Reply
  24. JoJoFLL says

    December 12, 2016 at 10:21 am

    Loved this episode! Had to make chicken bog the next day!

    Reply

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