A lot of things that we read in this world are made up. A LOT. Things like the phrase “May you live in interesting times.” is some sort of ancient Chinese curse. It is not. And a president saying it is in a speech doesn’t make it any more true. However, we do live in interesting times, and today has been an interesting day. Thus goes my excuse for being late with this recap. I feel the need to become more intellectually stimulating in my constant refrain of “the day got away from me” that I seem to be churning out a lot lately. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills also live in interesting times. So let me go take a look at what they are getting up to. The title of this episode is “Stronger Than Ever” but I have gone with “At Least There Was Boy George” in advance and if I don’t get Boy George this episode, I’m gonna be pissed that I am missing Bull on NBC for this.
First of all, I haven’t the time to list all the taglines here, but EVERYONE’S is perfect. We are off to a great start. Also, I am team Kyle Richards all day everyfucking day so you can get an early start on saying that I am Kyle now. Which is way better than saying I am Kenya, who I am so not feeling lately. Carry on.
Kyle
I love that Kyle says excuse me to her dog. I do that all the time. I may have to change my mind about Kyle though, because she wears Birkenstocks. Or maybe this makes me love her more. And already we get some Boy George discussion. So, I’m back in with Winner of Celebrity Apprentice Kyle Richards. Okay I don’t know who wins, but I’m hoping it’s her. Or Boy George. LVP also objects to the Birkenstocks.
Erika
From Kyle to Erika Girardi. I am now really in my happy place. I really love seeing her with Tom. I have stolen the phrase “litigious gadfly” from him already and if I was rich and had nothing else to do in my life I would probably spend it reading his legal motions. He’s everything. I like him better than everyone else on this show combined at the moment. But I’m fickle, so if you disagree, hang in there. Erika Jayne is a bit hit! Tom gives Erika … um wait… stop. Seriously. While I would cherish a Marc Chagall painting for the… not prestige… what is the word… for his contribution to the art world and the special experience of owning an original piece of art by such a prestigious artist, the man RUINED the ceiling of the Paris Opera house and he is right down there on my list with that completely irrelevant Jeff Koons idiot who ruined my 2008 trip to Versailles. Seriously. I am now back OUT of love with Tom. Give me a Picasso, or a even better for Erika, a Kahlo. Tom is terrible with presents. Erika says that this present is because Tom likes Chagall. So then he gives her the Cartier ring she wants. I may also be the only woman in the world who has all the jewelry she will ever need. Unless it is a gold bangle. One can never have too many gold bangles. But the rest, I’m ready to liquidate. I still don’t own anything Cartier though. So perhaps there is room for more.
Sorry. I am chatty tonight. Aren’t you glad you are not here watching with me for real because you’d miss the whole show.
Lisa
Contrary to popular belief, I don’t dislike Lisa. I just don’t buy the bill of goods she chooses to sell. I love her new dog Harrison who literally did go from the pound to the palace. I think she does quite a lot of good in the animal rescue charities. There are a lot of fine things that can be said about LVP. Just know, there are other things she does not fool me with for a single second.
Lisa introduces us to Dorit. Who Wendy Williams recently explained to us her name is pronounced like Dorito without the O. Which is not how I though it went, but Wendy is correct. Dorit and her husband PK spend a lot of time on Instagram. A LOT. I suggest you follow one or the other. Both might overload your devices. I with with Dorito. I mean Dorit. Sorry. Dorit is LVP’s chit from her contract where she gets to pick a friend to be on the show. Allegedly. So Mama Joyce’s streets say. Not that I would know. I am not complaining. Boy George lives with Dorit. So I love her already.
So we are at PUMP with Kyle, Lisa, Dorit and their spouses. Dorit has an affected accent like Madonna and Lindsey Lohan. I love that Kyle is mocking it already. That’s my girl. Dorit is a name dropper and a one upper and will be utterly obnoxious all season. She’s trying very hard. Perhaps she will simmer down later in the season. The script says, “Talk about Dubai” so LVP is tasked with reliving how much she hated the Dubai trip. It’s months later, everyone is over it, but this is just a reminder of where all the ladies left off on the overall friends chart.
RINNA!!!!
Fuck Kyle, I am totally team Rinna! Harry Hamlin just drove up the the latest model of some car she likes. I like cars with four wheels and a good air conditioner. And I like Harry Hamlin. Sorry Tom, I’m now down with Harry being my favorite hubby on the show. I have no idea what this car is, and I waited to be told because surely it is an ad. But no. Harry actually bought her whatever it is and since they didn’t pay for branding, I’ll never know. It’s something fancy though. Rinna is still dealing with her father’s death. Rinna is not about the bullshit this season so hold on tight. Sadly, my sources say she had a VERY rough season. Mama Joyce’s streets say that LVP contract negotiations also included Rinna getting the negative edit. Allegedly. I hope that doesn’t happen. I’ve heard stories.
Eileen
Eileen’s mother died just before the reunion and she apparently didn’t tell anyone. Wow. I love Eileen. And I love this Eileen and Erika alliance that is happening right now. Eileen says all of the LVP stuff is trivial now. They speak briefly about someone named Yolanda. No idea who that is. Kyle is working on her new TV show that she is producing about her life. It really is exciting. She should be proud.
Dorit
This is getting way too long. I have a feeling I can sum this scene up with, “Dorit, is a self-absorbed name dropper trying to seem important for the show.” So I shall stop recapping and just enjoy seeing BOY GEORGE! #Swoon What I am learning is that James from PumpRules has studied his accent to use as if it is his.
Erika’s Studio 54 Birthday
Erika is having a 45th birthday party in the spirit of Studio 54 “back when cocaine was not addictive.” God I love her. Erika is my favorite. Sharon Ferguson AKA Pussy control is there. Prince’s muse at some point.
I pulled up right beside her
And my electric top went down
I said “Motherfucker, I know your reputation
And I’m astounded that U’re here
I fear U’re lonely and U want 2 know
A 12 o’clock straight up nigga
That don’t give a shit that U’re Pussy Control
Well I’m that nigga, at least I wanna be
But it’s gonna be hard as hell
2 keep my mind off a body
That would make every rich man
Want 2 sell, sell, sell (75, we need another.. 85, 85 here, sold!)
Can I tell U what I’m thinkin’ that U already know?
U need a motherfucker that respects your name”
Now say it, Pussy Control (Are U ready?)
Oh Erika Jayne. Gurrrrrl We see you. We see you gurl. You do you. LIVE GURL! LIVE!
ROFLMAO. I’m sorry. Seeing LVP’s bit about being in a video in the 80s right after seeing Pussy Control show up at Erika’s party has to be the best/worst editing I’ve ever seen. It’s like me being on the show going to a party at Yolanda’s (remember her) and Yolanda talking about how Gigi and Bella were both vying for model of the year and my clip being about, that time I was a catalog model at Montgomery Ward. This is some serious production shade. Were it not for me, you’d never know it.
Rinna and Eileen chat in the car about modeling en route to the party. Rinna’s kid Delilah is an up and coming model as well.
Kyle says she was at Studio 53 when she was ten with Andy Warhol and he would take random photos of people as inspiration.
I am DYING at Pussy Control checking people off the guest list. I can’t. This recap is like an hour late already and you can all go fuck yourselves because I am glued to the dayum TV this is everything and I will get to y’all when I get to y’all. The only one loving this more than me is Erika. She’s my favorite.
Holy Shit, Erika Jayne’s music is playing, Great Move Erika. #MoMoney
Eileen give Erika a role on Y & R for her birthday in the physical form of an original script. Genius. I love this episode. You know who would gut herself for a part on Y & R? Someone who has been literally snatching the scripts out of Eileen’s hands on camera to be on Y & R? Some who really, really, really really wants to have an acting gig and a SAG card? Well, I don’t either. But Mama Joyce’s streets say it is LVP and that was part of Eileen’s issue with her. The begging. But I mean, what do I know, I’m just some fat chick on a couch in Atlanta who couldn’t possibly know anything. But if Mama Joyce’s streets are right.. well then, boys and girls, we have ourselves a rodeo. Allegedly.
LVP comes for Rinna. Game on.
Lisa Rinna is my favorite.
DAYUM. I really can’t get this out any faster. This is either the best episode ever or I am having a brain amanuensis. Eileen just said, something like, “Who know, I could make peace with LVP, I mean look what happened after the Vietnam War, everyone vacations in Vietnam now.”
OMG I LIVE FOR EILEEN. Eileen is my favorite.
Maurico chats with Tom about buying a plane and Tom explains the perks of private flying.
Tom is my favorite.
How do you pronounce “Veuve”? I was secretly thinking my sister pronounced it wrong at Thankgiving and now my Rinna just say it the same way. They say Voove rhymes with move. I say Veuve which doesn’t really rhyme with anything. I’ll be accepting answers only from W.D.K, on this one. Everyone else I would ask is actually me. Allegedly.
Tom brings Erika’s mom to her party. Now that is a present. Much better than a Chagall.
As Eileen says about Erika, “I just love her more every day.”
I so hope this party ends with Erika getting a crown.
Dorito. Um Dorit. Invites Eileen to her birthday party. Oh LVP those Bravo folks will say anything to get you to sign on the dotted line.
I love this episode.
Was that a bit a friction between LVP and Ken?
We end with LVP feeling left out as they all dance to Painkiller.
Cut to next week: Erika Jayne working on her tour. And LVP trying to find an ally.
Oh! Tamara, Patron Saint of the Reality Internet, I’ve got to write you into my will. You….complete….me….watching television! Thanks for the quick posts, so I always know when something tasty is available to screen.
I have been waiting all day for this recap. It was definitely worth the wait.
Dayum! TT must be under the influence of some heavy duty pain meds! Oh wait, strike that overly personal comment. I was totally underwhelmed by this episode.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion… except in this case. Lol. This was the best episode of any Housewives franchise ever! And the sneak peeks at the rest of the season look great.
I love love love Erika!!!! I swear she is my favorite all time housewife!!!
So let me guess, Dorit is hired this season to be Pinky’s only friend to back her up (something Brandi, Lisa Rinna, Eileen used to do) since she was so nasty and had no friends left.
If Dorit makes it to another season, she might turn on Pinky again and the season after Pinky would force Bravo to rummage all over Beverly Hills again to find a new ally. So predictable.
FWIW, I believe the car is a Maserati.
It’s a Tesla; they’re awesome. Craptard expensive electric car. I’d do very unsavory things for one.
Ahhh, the T looked like an M…guess I wasn’t paying close attention
Yep, it’s a Tesla
It is a TESLA….not sure why bugsy thinks it a craptard car? Lily Galachi drove a white one in her second season of Shahs. I thought the tag lines were pretty right on this year. I usually do a massive eye roll…but these were fitting! Love seeing Kyle & Mauricio come up in the world! Going to be a great season……
Lawstangel, it’s definitely not a craptard car, I said it’s craptard expensive.
OIC….I misunderstood!
I thought the car was a Tesla.
I’ll have what you’re having, TT. 😀
This is the best blog I have ever read.
I love your joyous recap. It’s how I feel when I realize everyone has left the house and I get to watch the housewives with my morning cup of coffee, and then that rare thing happens, the housewives deliver! Orgasm!
TT!
WTF is going on in that addled brain? You’re like an Emoji! A happy, Fucking Sunshine Emoji!! 😘
Permanent pharmaceutical brain wave changes?
And I quote, “drugs are bad, mkay?”
Straight from the TEACHER’S mouth, a la South Park a hundred years ago.
How many more days did you say the supply lasts?
Well, hell, maybe it’s time you’re happy!
But I don’t know.
While this was a fun episode, the party scene was a little too long, in my opinion. And where was the damn food?? Everyone was complaining about how hungry they were.
Jury’s still out on this Dorit character.. I can see her getting really annoying really fast.
I feel like I’ve been waiting forever for this to come back. I was quasi disappointed last season but this started out like the gals of old. I had been watching the marathons and watching season 1 was so different knowing all we know about Kim. Disappointed she’s expected to be back on. My new mantra is Lisa Rinna’s, “I’d rather be better than bitter.” Had some bad crap roll out while watching just before she said that so I’m clinging to it.
This recap might possibly be better than the show.
I feel this is the only franchise that is worth watching nowadays. At least these notches are all rich! Lol
Tesla, voove, owning a jet is overrated unless you put it on lease and earn enough to cover the carrying costs. I love that Eileen and Rinna showed up dressed appropriately for the party – Eileen is looking great this season, btw. Saw Ken at the grocery the day before thanksgiving and he took incredibly too long to pick out a pie from a display in the middle of the aisle blocking all traffic. Yes, Lisa V had grocery store pie for thanksgiving, nothing wrong with that, just surprising.
Not surprising Ken would be oblivious to the commoners in a grocery store. He strikes me as a pompous ass.
Loved this episode. The recap was perfection…and Prince thrown in for a bonus.
Dorit kept reminding me of someone and it took a few minutes. She reminds me of Gamble from Melborne. Both blonde and both have rather gobbledygoop accents. As long as Boy George appears…my ears will adjust.
Loved the new taglines in the opening credits, but for the love of all that is holy, Kyle needs to find a better tailor! She owns a clothing store, yet every year she is swimming in her gown!
yes she does put i you in the mind of Gamble. Both has unique names as well.
For a moment I had a deja vu moment with Dorit – she reminded me Camille and her talk about 5 nannies, 20 maids and how hard it is to manage work, children and husband
I will not write an essay, I will just say I love that the new season is here! Thanks for the recap.
I’ve heard about the horrors of this site over the years, and had to come check it out … all I can say so far is, I think I’m home:-) Any site that not only doesn’t kiss LVP’s ass, but loves Erika, Eileen, and Rinna …. I’m in!
The re-caps are great here! Always funny & even better then watching the shows a lot of the time! Do watch what you say and how you type it because TT will rip you a new one ,call you names, & just be downright mean! I’m just saying, I personally couldn’t call people the names TT does and I will likely get ripped for this comment too but I don’t care. She puts up with shit on the daily, so she puts whoever she wants through it. Her site Her rules Read them & be careful! Also don’t use “&” You will get yelled at for that too…lol I will now sit and await my bashing
By the way I admire TT for what she has to endure & what it must take to keep this site that I truly look forward too on the daily going while dealing with the trolls. I just don’t agree with calling your commenters names or telling them they are ignorant etc… sorry
Shut the fuck up you ignorant twatwaffle. Take a seat.
LOL! Twatwaffle Pop is now my new drag name!
Shut the fuck up you ignorant twatwaffle. Take a seat.
^^^^ giggles. This could be fun.
Hello! I am looking forward to your comments here.
This. Was. THE. Best. Premiere. Episode. Ever!
I’ve never been so excited for a season of RH. Mykonos. Hong Kong. BOY-FUCKING-GEORGE! And this other gold-digger wife with a husband with one leg in the casket? Top notch! I don’t recall her name, but wasn’t the new girl’s accent so fucking pretentious? Did not someone reference “Guy Ritchie Madonna” when referring to her sad and desperate attempt to not be white trash from the Midwest (or wherever).
Veuve is pronounced like
Love
This was like all the best finale episode party scenes of all previous HW shows rolled into one…. and it is the FIRST FUCKING EPISODE.
If the rest of the season is like this, it is just the best snarky craziness I need to get through the silly season of the holidays.
Hope Kyle’s show makes it… will actually watch TVLand for once if that happens!
Loved this recap. I was laughing about Dorito and everything in between.
Kyle was more bubbly and confident than I’ve seen her in years. Good on her. Seems like the women just want to put last season in the rear view and get back to BH basics: flaunting their lifestyles and light-hearted bitchiness. Will see if it lasts.
Eileen’s gift, in light of what you’ve shared here, TT, is a delicious payback.
Definitely one of your best recaps, TT.
And just when I thought I was over the HWs for good. Dang it.
Yes, Kyle looked great. I saw Kyle, Mauricio, and the kids in Rome July 1st. I was walking up Via Veneto and crossed in front of their hotel just after their limo had arrived. Erika’s birthday is July 10, so maybe this episode was filmed soon after Kyle returned from vacation.
What did you buy me? lol.
We really need a travel post here. I love to hear everyone’s stories.
Lol. Next time! Gorgeous Italian leather handbags in beautiful colors. And not that expensive. I got a small one for 15€ and a bigger bag for 60€. I had forgotten how beautiful Rome is… I definitely want to go back. Agree with you on the travel posts. Love hearing people’s travel stories too.
P.S. I teach 2nd grade for APS
Great episode, great recap! Thanks Tamara, you’re my favorite!
LVP took a shot at PK’s ex wife. This is not the first time that she has gone after someone who is not on the show and has no way to respond. Only a cowardly bully does this.
I agree 100%! She’s a true bitch!
mean!
I saw it as a shot at PK for “trading up”
Dorit is actually Gamble from RHOM, right?
You make me want to actually watch this episode and I haven’t been able to stomach this franchise for several seasons now!!
KYLE looks amazing! her haircut and color, fabulous. Eileen looks great also. LVP needs a total makeover, she looks over 70. I know she’s trying to hold onto that long hair, tight clothes looks for as long as she can, but she needs a stylist to get it together.
I agree. She needs a new hair style, maybe something shorter. I absolutely adored it when she wore her hair up. She looked so regal. And what is up with all these ladies wearing form fitting clothes? Actually, to me, the dresses all look the same, very little contrast, just different colors. I loved the strapless pantsuit on the “ladies of London”.
YASSS BITCHES!!!!!!
I am so in love with this episode! Rich bitches doing rich things!
Voove, G4s, RR, Cartier, Chegall, mansions all after my own heart!
Good episode but I enjoyed the recap even more. It was joyous, fun and put me in a good mood! Erika has quite the life. I loved how she was so proud of her mum. It was really sweet.
I just giggled at my type about Kyle going to Studio 53 when she was ten. It’s like Kyle was there before it was even Studio 54.
I fond that suspect. . Kyle ..well she was the lesser of the money makers for the family .. Kim’s zero personality .. I watched Witch Mountain.. found it boring as hell . Her expressions where less than
watching my horse eat hay.
A lot of us loved Kim back in the day. She was a beautiful little girl and a pretty teenager. You’re right though, she was pretty wooden. She’s in the most fantastically campy movie from the early, ’80’s, “Tough Turf”. She’s plays the girlfriend of a gang leader-her hair is the real star, it should have it’s own credit, long blond, falling to her ass, she’d fling from side to side for dramatic effect while sporting an Olivia Newton John sweatband across her forehead. Great stuff.
I loved that movie back in the day! I wanted to have hair like Kim Richards sooo bad. James Spader at peak hotness!
I remember seeing that in the theater and falling in love with James Spader
Re: Dorit
The jury’s still out on her, but I’m ready to hate her because she was so clearly brought in to be an ally for Lisa Vanderpump. Not unlike the Kelly Dodd/Vicki Gunvalson situation.
Oh, and hers is another Housewife spawn named “Jagger”. Groan. Considering the meaning of the term “jagoff”, isn’t naming your child “Jagger” tantamount to naming it “wanker”?
Since LVP has been told she can do no wrong she is getting worse.
Rinna got a Tesla. Go to Lenox TT. They have a dealership next to the Polo store.
I mainly tuned in for Boy George.
I was wondering if around the 49:13ish point, when Erika and Lisa Rinna went to the bar to get a drink, was that Jax? Either the bartender, or just hanging out. What a fun looking party. Loved the comment about cocaine. 🙂
Dorito is dreadful.
The Madonna accent (it’s not British, or even like it; as a Brit – please never describe it thus). The children named Jagger and Phoenix, because of course she doesn’t have one original bone in her body. And Boy George, the convicted sex attacker and kidnapper.
Worst. Housewife. Ever.
Wonderful recap Ms T. Brava! I did not intend to watch this season after last season’s shit show and the LVP loons on social media who think she is the second coming of Christ. I saw part of it playing at my mother’s and and was enjoying seeing Erika and decided to watch. I’m glad I did, it was great. It was disappointing that Erika did not feed her guests especially with alcohol being served. I LOVED Eileen’s gift to Erika. I hope they show part of it on RHOBH – I bet they had a wonderful time. I giggled at Studio 53 too 😂
I forgot to say I am dying to see Amy Philips do a Dorit impersonation. The tricky part will be figuring out who Dorit is actually impersonating herself. I once read that Darrell Hammond of SNL struggled to impersonate Bill Clinton until he realised Bill Clinton was doing a bad JFK impersonation and he was able to get into character.
Oh, bloody hell, I need to catch up with what Boy George had been up to. I didn’t have any idea.
I am certainly giving Dorit the side eye.
Everyone’s perception is different & unique.
Not so exciting on this part of the world. Oh well, next time, hopefully.
Jeff Koons is a fraud.
And this is why I love you. That and the fact you buy me everything I want. Except fucking Taco Bell.
This is a perfect cast! No Taylor! No Brandi! No Yolanda!! Dorit is a bit much, but it’s still early. I like that Lisa is a bit off of her game and had to make an effort to fit in with the other ladies for once…these are formidable opponents for LVP, well except Rinna. I’m waiting to see which way the wind blows her this season.
I love Kyle. She’s becoming queen of bh. I still love lvp. Always will. She’s sensitive, needs to toughen up but I love her. Erika is golden. Made for magic! I like Eileen. I can tolerate Dorit, if it means Boy George is a housewife…I mean friend! Rinna. No. For the same reason I don’t care for Kenya. She is making storylines and money. She will sell anything , including her sex life for interest. It’s greedy and hollow. So hollow it hurts. I
It’s Phaedra. It’s Teresa. Waiting to happen. My opinion.. from a former Teresa and Phaedra fan.
I love that Kyle seem to be taking back her rightful place back at the top where she was in season 1! I thought she was unjustly vilified a few seasons back and she delivers all the things that make the franchise great. I also love Erika and her friendships with Kyle and Eileen. Unlike a lot of the viewers, I gave Eileen a pass for last season because she was grieving and when this episode revealed she lost her mom over the reunion, yet kept her composure, I respect her even more. I’m excited for this season. Unlike the other Housewife cities (the American ones) Beverly Hills actually has the wealth and awesome trips I live to see! I love Melbourne and Ladies of London( I know this show is not a “Housewives” show) because the ladies have luxury and are on the show to promote actual businesses that existed prior to the show and not ones thrown together out of nowhere to try and stay on the show. They’re also actually wealthy and don’t need the show for their main income source like Sheree and others on the other Housewife shows.
I’ve become a big fan of Kyle in the last couple of years, too.
If Vanderpump is the queen of RHOBH, Kyle is the MVP. I think it’s admirable how committed she is to the medium – I couldn’t expose all my family secrets for reality TV like she does, but if all the other women were as honest as her in front of the camera, the show would be so much more impactful and interesting! I’m probably one of the few people who’s ready to see more of her and Kim this season, and how their relationship is holding up.
I also liked her pragmatism about Vanderpump last season, when she just sort of shrugged her shoulders, acknowledged the truth about Lisa’s character, and said she accepts her because she wants her friendship. It’s easy to think that’s weak or to be critical, but I thought that showed a maturity and a refusal to wallow in the mud that the other ladies could learn from.
I agree 100%
Kyle is super sweet. I try to avoid housewives on Twitter because I’m likely to call them all cunts at any given moment. I tweeted to Kyle when she asked what books she should pack on summer vacay. Since I love her, I sort of broke my own rule. We had a little exchange about our favorite authors and had many in common and made me love her even more. She’s a genuine person, who is rich, and has raised her children well. She has some adorable IG posts lately with her and Maurico and Portia in NYC. She’s one of the few REAL HOUSEWIVES on any of the franchises. Married, kids, real jobs outside the show… love her.
Agree as well. I’ve been watching since the beginning. At first I didn’t like her. I think that her family growing up was dysfunctional and that contributes to her reactions to stressfull situations. The fact that Kyle has maintained a good relationship with everyone particularity LVP and Camille say a lot. The exception being Brandi #becausebrandi
AWESOME recap, TT!!! Laughed my ass off, and let me tell you, I have a big ass!
Great recap. Love the site.
Does anyone have any scoop on Erika saying (crying) “You have no idea, what I deal with every night”. It’s in the clip at the beginning, before the taglines.
I am thinking that line that Erika says is from her guest role on The Young and the Restless.
Can we talk about Rinna’s lips? Did she get them done, again? Also, Eileen makes comments about LVP giving her the cold shoulder, but I didn’t see her try to engage either. Seems hypocritical.
I didn’t pay much attention to them but Rinna’s lips were botched with silicone and there is nothing she can really do to fix it, based on my understanding so I doubt she fucked with them again. She’s just accepted them and uses them to her advantage.
It can be fixed surgically.
Eileen did a good job of cold shoulding herself but blamed it on LVP. Pot-kettle deal.
LOVED this giddy, breakneck recap! All my favorites are in good form- Kyle, Erika Jayne, Eileen – love that Eileen’s gift to Erika Jayne, yeah LVP Eileen’s got it going like that mmmkay. I feel like LVP’s a little too fat and sassy right now and she’ll cock something up from overconfidence.
This is going to get good.
P.S. I cheated and youtube’d Veuve for pronounciation.
Lol , me too.
Oooh just saw this. Lets talk about Dorito.
A) she actually doesn’t sound English. She sounds like some trans-european-maybe-shes-eastern-european person.
B) she looks like a Quality Street in her intro. You’ll know what I’m talking about if you’ve seen one.
A Quality Street! Yes! She should be required to have a mouthful of chocolate every time she’s on camera so that she never speaks on TV again.
I actually take A) back. Because after listening to that lady she is SO AFFECTED.
Anyway. I still commend Lisa for dancing with people she clearly thinks are cunts. Its hard when you’re British.
Dorit is from middle America, or the NE or somewhere. Her accent is completely made up.
Now both of you please explain the term “Quality Street” to us, the great American unwashed. Please and thank you.
“Quality Street” is a brand of chocolate that people in the UK only tend to buy at Christmas in an obnoxiously-sized tin to gorge on after the turkey, and they come in gaudy cellophane wrappers in lurid shades. Dorit’s dress bore an uncanny resemblance to one of the wrappers.
In fact, a few of them could use a style upgrade on RHOBH (I know all those tight dresses are expensive, but they’re not right for every occasion). Vanderpump’s hair, in particular, needs an intervention.
That sounds amazing. Here in the south we used to have Hickory Farms for such ridiculousness. It’s a collection of very processes sausages and poor people cheeses, I used to love those. Not sure if they exist anymore. They may have killed too many folks.
I mean of course we have chocolates too but Hickory Farms was seasonal. Like there would be stores in the mall only during Christmas.
OMG, HIckory Farms! I LOVED those gift boxes. There used to be a store in our mall and I’d always go in and “sample” the banana chips. Thanks for the trip down memory lane, TT!
Weird, Hickory Farms has appeared in Canada in recent years. We had a “christmas party” a few years back in our hotel room while traveling in the states and Hickory Farms was the guest of honor. Glad to see a mall kiosk way up here this xmas.
That sounds amazing. Here in the south we used to have Hickory Farms for such ridiculousness. It’s a collection of very processes sausages and poor people cheeses, I used to love those. Not sure if they exist anymore. They may have killed too many folks.
I mean of course we have chocolates too but Hickory Farms was seasonal. Like there would be stores in the mall only during Christmas.
I had a meeting in Manhattan today, and noted a package from Hickory Farms left in the lobby by the UPS man. No one had stolen it. Maybe that means people have gotten better, or Hickory Farms has gotten worse.
My father and I both loved cheeses and salamis and all of that bad for you crap. Mother would yell at me for eating it, when I was usually the one who bought it for him. Then she would yell at him for eating it. Then sometimes we’d all three eat it together.
We were never healthy eaters in my household. I think the issue was everyone just wanted to eat the crap and used the whole “so bad for you” thing to make it look like we were just being caring toward the others. LOL.
Now you’ve got me meandering down memory lane. If 1976 (or ’77 or ’78…) had a flavor, it would be summer sausage and smoked cheddar cheese. Dad would get us apple cider to go with it. And he’d cut slices of sausage and cheese with a Swiss Army knife. I miss my Dad like nobody’s business.
Did he smoke a pipe with a bowl full of Cherry Blend tobacco? Mine did. And in Libya the pipes were meerschaum.
The American version of cheap holiday chocolates is the Whitman Sampler. It comes in a big yellow box containing too sweet chocolate filled with too sweet innards. The inside of the top box has a diagram that shows where and what each piece of candy is. Quite handy for those who hate hazelnut and coconut (me!)
Hickory Farms is my much more preferred holiday indulgence. I love their baskets with different sausage, cheese, spreads and crackers! I’m going to go order one online right this moment. Really truly I am! Amazon Prime should have it here by Tuesday and most of it will b consumed before the weekend. 🙂
My daddy gave my mama and me Whitmans every relevant holiday!! I like the caramels.
dark chocolate caramels, the best!!
The snacks are the best thing about Christmas!
I had to go check out Hickory Farms’ website, and I would totally gorge on an entire gift box to myself on Christmas evening if I was in the US this year. All that yummy cheese, followed by chocolate and caramels, is my idea of a perfect evening.
Oh, duh. I’m so slow. I’ve only just realized who Dorit’s husband is – Paul Kemsley. He’s calling himself PK, which is a new affectation, but he’s already well known in the UK for a number of reasons, and none of them are good:
(i). He’s best buddies and former business partners with Mike Ashley, the boss of Sports Direct (a British sports apparel company). Mike Ashley is Britain’s most detested businessman, as he flies around in a private jet while paying his staff below the minimum wage. Interesting company that Dorit and her husband keep…..
(ii). PK is also well known for his own disasters in business. He launched a joint venture with HBOS that lost the banking group hundreds of millions during the financial crisis, and subsequently went to the wall. He then had some sleazy online gambling sites, and was the loser of a £2 million legal action after he placed a series of bets on Lehman Brothers during the crash.
(iii). In 2012, PK declared bankruptcy, so that he could avoid paying back his debts to HBOS, the British taxman, and Spreadex (the people who sued him over the Lehman Brothers bets). He was then sued for £5 million by Barclays in the US, because they believed he was hiding assets from the British court system by applying for a Chapter 15 bankruptcy in America. All very convoluted and complex.
Remarkably, PK and Dorit seem to be “living large” given their apparently recent emergence from bankruptcy, and the string of debts they left behind in the UK. These two make Teresa Giudice look innocent!
Oh, and last time PK appeared on reality TV (The Apprentice, in the UK), he was dubbed “The Rottweiler”. Just to make him seem even more pleasant and attractive.
Bravo really scraped the barrel to find these two losers. I can’t believe Vanderpump is willingly associated with such trash.
Thanks for the info, Johnny. As for their association with LVP, well birds of a feather with regard to employees at the very least. See link below.
http://tamaratattles.com/?s=Bustillos
Interesting stuff. Vanderpump should get an Oscar, she does a wonderful job of convincing everyone how jolly and fun she is while treating people pretty horribly. No wonder she’s a fan of Paul Kemsley. (Not that I dislike Vanderpump, I just find the “pink powdery princess with 17 dogs” persona incredibly dull; she’s far more compelling to watch when her castmates expose her sneaky soap-opera villain side.)
I have run off HUNDREDS of commentators here for shining a flashlight on LVP, They don’t want to know. I get it. It’s TV and suspending all disbelief is sometimes a factor in the enjoyment. I just was never able not to notice.
Don’t know if you will see this Johnny but someone reminded me of these two posts tonight. I think you might “get” them.
http://tamaratattles.com/2016/04/15/here-is-how-the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills-works-an-abridged-history/
http://tamaratattles.com/2016/04/20/eileen-davidson-tries-once-more-with-feeling-to-explain-rhobh-dynamics-to-you/
Thanks TT! I appreciate that. I agree completely with your summary of what RHOBH has been about up until now. Part of what will make the new season interesting to watch is seeing what “Bobby Fisher” does next now that she’s defeated her arch-nemesis Yolanda. I guess if avenging Mohammed was her goal before, now it’s keeping the crown she referred to in her tagline, so she’ll try to take out anyone she sees as a threat. Therefore, at a guess, should we expect her to go after Eileen this season, and maybe Erika next?
I think she’s annoyed by Rinna, but ultimately views her as someone she could manipulate into falling into line (as Kyle pointed out), so she’s less of a threat than the other two. That said, there’s a scene in the season preview where I think they’re playing charades and Vanderpump manhandles Rinna, and it reminded me of the scene where she forced Brandi to sing at her birthday (Brandi’s swansong, given that she got the axe after that season!) – it felt like a certain brand of ritual humiliation that LVP excels at. I guess we’ll have to wait and see just how badly she goes after Rinna.
I liked what you said about needing to know the history of these shows to really “get it” (I think that’s especially true with RHOA, which is why I first started reading here). I went back and re-watched RHOBH right from the start over the course of a couple of months straight after the last season ended, and it put so many things into context that I’d forgotten about or not noticed before. It helped my appreciation for Kyle grow too, because she was by far the most consistent when the series is viewed as a whole.
I wonder if Dorit will turn out to be someone LVP can play like Brandi. Perhaps we’ll see her getting into fights with Eileen and Erika, while Vanderpump smiles sweetly and pretends to be above the fray?
I guess I’m also wondering what Eileen’s plan is. That blog from after the last reunion makes it clear that Eileen knows Lisa’s goal will be to get rid of her, so perhaps her efforts to befriend Erika – who she clearly adores – are also strategic. And let’s face it, Eileen and Erika would prove to be rather more formidable foes than poor old Yolanda and her two drunk buddies.
Oh dear Johnny. Your very existence makes me happy.
This is why I watch this crap. I’m not interested in the storylines they show us as much as they psychological bitchy warfare going on behind the scenes.
But SO FEW OF US SEEM TO GET THAT.
And and Eileen and Erika attack is clearly coming. Even more interesting, KYLE went to Greece as like Erika’s “onliest” ally.
http://tamaratattles.com/2016/08/23/erika-jayne-rocks-xlsior-gay-festival-in-mykonos/
Kyle is an executive producer on the show so she can’t do much with LVP because LVP is draw for many.
On WWHL with Kyle which I just watched today because … shit happens, Andy pointed out that LVP came for Kyle at the premiere party because Kyle said that “Rinna is easier to manipulate” line.
For the most part, these shows suck, but the behind the scenes clamoring for attention shit is priceless and the only one who doesn’t do that is Kyle. She doesn’t have to and she stopped playing into the bullshit several seasons ago.
Finally watched the episode last night — confession, I read the recap as soon as it was posted.
Loved the all in the premiere! I hope that continues. They all seemed to be mostly relaxed and refreshed.
I do still really like Lisa Vanderpump. But Erika is quickly becoming a favorite. And Kyle runs hot and cold with me, but I mostly love her.
I am not a fan of Dorit. Her “accent” bothers me. And holy name-dropper! But, I love Boy George, so if we have to deal with her to see him, I can (probably) handle that.
The car Harry gives rinna is a tesla 🙂
I guess this is a cross over comment. I’m anxious to hear why on earth Lisa Vanderpump is talking in that weird voice when saying Tom and Katie’s vows. I laugh every time I hear it, it’s just weird.
I gave up on watching the RHOBH franchise a while ago and I looked to TT to keep me up to date with these spot-on recaps. However, after reading this oh so perfectly laid out recap, I am anxious to get back to the avid watcher I once was. This weekend, I will binge watch last season and catch up with this season. Bravo TT for bringing me back into the fold like only you can. Woot!!!