So, it looks like I’m your new, official Vanderpump Rules recapper. I just can’t quit these crazy “kids.” After a couple of boring episodes, we finally got some fireworks last week. James got fired! Like “indefinitely fired forever.” He blames it on Jax (for making him have a public, drunken tantrum) so we should get some good drama out of that. And Tom Schwartz went behind Katie’s back (gasp!) and asked Ariana to be a groomsman. You know the mean girls aren’t going to take this sitting down. Poor, Schwartzie. He’s in for it now.
Katie and Tom visit their wedding venue. Right away Tom jokes about getting cold feet. Way to make it awkward, man. I feel so bad for these wedding planners. It’s pretty clear these two shouldn’t be getting married.
James meets up with Sandoval and Ariana to tell them he got fired. Sandoval is pissed. He admits that James should have been fired for other offenses but this time it’s bullshit. And that, kiddos, is called enabling. Sandoval quickly jumps on the blame Jax bandwagon. Listen, I’m not a Jax fan AT ALL but how can they really think this is Jax’s fault? Do they not have any self-awareness? I guess I just answered my own question. Next in the script is James denying he ever hooked up with the waitress. Poor, persecuted James. Why is everyone making up lies about him? And getting him fired? James manages to work in a humble brag about his fancy apartment but leaves out the part where he’s living in someone else’s living room. #RockStar.
Lala, in her leather coochie cutters, pulls Lisa aside to complain about the mean girls. Lisa calls her on the married man and Lala unconvincingly denies it. Lisa could care less unless the married man is her own husband. That’s either being an adult or incredibly self-centered. It’s Lisa Vanderpump so it’s probably a combination of the two.
Tom Schwartz gets an underwear modeling job. I don’t care.
Sandoval and Ariana bike to dinner because they’re Silver Lake hipsters. They talk about how much better their relationship is than Katie and Tom’s. They’re not wrong.
Lala goes hiking with some girls from Sur and Pump. They dish about James getting fired. Lala brings up the rumors about James hooking up with a Sur waitress which opens the door for her friend Ellie to pull out her phone and show pictures of her and James in his bed. Last month. Around the same time he was celebrating his six month anniversary with his girlfriend. Lala asks for the photo (with the all-important time stamp). She claims she wants it so she can protect him but it’s clearly going to be used against him. I’m confused. The scriptwriter should have worked on this scene a little longer.
The whole gang gets together to celebrate Tom and Katie’s wedding for some reason. Sandoval accuses Jax of provoking James’ freakout and subsequent firing. Jax runs right over to the mean girls to complain about Sandoval and Ariana. Telephone. Kristen decides to confront Ariana about it. Yes! I can never get enough of crazy Kristen. She’s been hiding out so far this season.
In a totally unscripted move, Scheana goes to lunch with Ellie, Lala’s friend that James slept with. They talk about James, naturally. Ellie claims she took the photo because she knew James was going to deny anything ever happened. And yet she still slept with him. This storyline makes me sad. Moving on, Scheana realizes she has an opportunity to ask Ellie about Lala’s boyfriend. Ellie refuses to say anything bad but Scheana decides the look on her face is proof that Lala’s boyfriend is married. Now she has a story for the mean girls.
Katie and Tom do an ad for Porsche check out Porsches for Lisa. They get in a huge fight about Tom not wanting to get married and Katie being a huge bitch. I don’t know why they’re fighting. Both of those statements are true.
Scheana runs to Stassi and Kristen with her Ellie stories. First they freak out about the James thing. Then they talk about Lala’s married man. They run through all of their proof (including Ellie’s face). Bitches. Most recently, Stassi heard that the wife found out about the affair by finding their sexting videos. They’re getting too much enjoyment out of this.
Lala visits James. He’s making “music” while riding around on his hoverboard. She brings up the waitress and James explodes. These bitches! Always lying about your man! Then she brings up Ellie. At first he denies it but when she shows his the photo he looks like someone caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He claims the photo is from before he met his girlfriend. Date stamps are easy to fake. This just reminds me of Kristen’s lies when Sandoval read her texts to Jax. James turns his anger on Lala. She warns him that’s how you lose friendships. He lashes out about her married boyfriend. They pretty much agree the enemy of my enemy is my friend and leave it at that.
Next week: Sur gets new uniforms! Ariana is doing a cocktail book and Sandoval wants in. And Lisa Vanderpump makes the Orlando shooting all about her.
I am kind of sad I still watch this. Lol
I hate that I watch this too! I want to liike Ariana and Tom but they are both bitches. James is a punk. Lala is a whore. Katie is a bitch. Sheena is a skank. Kristin and Stasi have matured. Somewhat. Jax is an asshole. And he looks like the Grinch. His Kentucky girlfriend is way too good for him. I want to see more of Peter!
Clair by all accounts not as big of a bitch as you clearly are!
That’s uncalled for.
He was looking good! I always found him sweet but a bit boring. He’s too, “good” to be on the show.
Thx for the re-cap Lady C. but you left out one of the funniest bits…Ariana calling out Kristen for treating her “now BFF’s” like shit, beating on the guys in the group & then asking for & expecting forgiveness. Yet everyone has to hate on James forever & ban him from the earth! I love Kristen but #Truth! Way to go Ariana for saying what I would have said if I was there.
I don’t understand this hate for Lala from Scheana? How could she let herself have this story line where she bashes Lala for the same thing she did? She had to know the backlash that she would receive & now while she is gong through a divorce? #Karma Maybe this is one of the reasons that Shay couldn’t with her anymore..She is so desperate for a story line that she will embarrass the both of them every season.
Maybe next season we will see Tom 2 & Shay living together while Tom 1 visits to brag about his… I can’t.#eyeroll > hair & his perfect relationship & Jax visits foaming at the mouth because he’s really old now & no woman wants him anymore…lol
lillybeth, please treat my writers with respect. Especially the fabulous Lady C who is going above and beyond to contribute to this site. Perhaps you are simply ignorant, so allow me to educate you.
“Thx for the re-cap Lady C. but you left out one of the funniest bits..” is an insulting remark,
If there was something not mentioned in the recap that you found amusing, you are free to comment by simply saying, ” I thought it was funny when Arianna…” and then making your point.
To that end, what Ariana did was not funny or hysterical, it was hypocritical. AND (not &) in the future please do not attack the writers.
TT & Lady C. I am truly sorry & meant no dis-respect or for it to seem like an attack. My take on what Ariana said was different… I looked at it as funny. Your opinion is that it was hypocritical, so hopefully we can agree to dis-agree. I really enjoy visiting this site for the comments & the chance to comment back. The re-caps are entertaining, funny & always a great read. Sometimes it’s not what you say but how you say it… The ignorant comment ..not cool & I didn’t like it It wasn’t necessary in your reprimand to me. Lesson learned and again I am sorry if I hurt anyone’s feelings.
The mean girls are terrible, did they not get the memo that they are not still in high school? Dear lord, my sons friends in high school act more mature and are less hateful than these bitches. Scheana has zero room to talk, she is one of the original whores and she looks terrible this season, like way to thin and hyper.. drugs much? James is delusional as fuck, not sure where he gts this super inflated image of himself but it needs to go. Katie is a bitch. no way around it, she is so terribly ugly inside and out. I do not understand the appeal of these females at all, i really think they are jealous of Arianna.
I’m baffled that the mean girls don’t get how ridiculous they sound and look. This has to be scripted. I can’t imagine being as old as those women and acting the way they do. It’s painful. I think they wish they can be like Ariana and have.an ” I dont give a fuck” attitude, but they give a fuck about everything. Katie seems like a shrew. Her and Tom will most likely go the way of Scheana and Shay and be divorcing in just two years.
I do not think your statements are mutually exclusive. Yes it is scripted (as in stories planned out), but that doesn’t mean that Katie, Stasi, Kristen are not really like this (catty, petty, mean). I have met several women their age that are, especially when they don’t have enough going for them in their own life. The old adage is usually true that those that insult like this and bring others down often do so due to their own insecurities. They seem very jealous of Lala to me.
Me too. I agree. And I think they are jealous of Lala too.
Me too. I agree. And I think they are jealous of Lala too.
If I were Katie I would take tom’s comments about having cold feet etc. more seriously, maybe make appointments to get some counseling, etc. If they would just learn and apply some basics about couples’ communication, it would help a lot. Don’t get why all of the running around spreading gossip thing…are they stuck in high school mode or ? Seriously what do Stassi and Kristen do all day now>?
I like Tom more than Katie because I think he is a genuinely kinder person, but that being said, it was extremely insensitive for him to constantly be making cracks about not wanting to get married, not wanting a wedding, not wanting to pay, etc. while they are supposed to be touring their wedding venue. It’s supposed to be special, you shouldn’t beat your fiance over the head with it to the point of embarrassment. Katie dishes it out, but that was not fair. Her hostility toward him and defensiveness + their complete lack of communication means this is going nowhere. If you cannot even talk to the person you intend to marry there’s no way your marriage is going to last. This is like watching a train wreck 🙁
I also agree here too. I really can’t stand Katie, Kristen, Stassi and Scheana. Just last year Scheana was the “whore” for sleeping with a married man. They are all jealous of Lala.
The photo of James that supposedly proves he was in bed with Ellie is suspect. Why is her face cut out of it? Even if it was on the down low, why not squeeze in a little closer and get your face in there? And, who needs “proof” you slept with a douche bag, unless it’s some kind of set up.
I was thinking the same thing. However, I don’t recall this chick every being on the show before. Now you all know I can’t remember shit these days, but it seems to me like she slept with the little douchebag to get on the show and it worked out quite well for her.
Also, I did a post about James dating some out of town (state?) girl from some pageant at some point, but I can’t seem to find it. Is that supposed to be James actual girlfriend?
Yes, though it doesn’t seem real to me. Not like a real relationship.
Ellie said on the show that during sex with James he started telling her, “you know this doesn’t mean anything.” She said afterward while she was laying there she thought he may try to deny sleeping with her and she thought she would take the pic just in case……
Tom and Katie act as though they have to have a shotgun wedding. They both act out in resentment, overt insults, passive aggressive hits (like asking Ariana to be in the wedding, and telling Katie he went to see a therapist about their relationship instead of ask her go with him – so now she’s feeling insecure and pissed because she has no idea what he said and won’t let him talk so she can find out). He’s always making cracks about how they should put the wedding off, it should cost less…yada yada; and she blows all his ideas off cuz it’s what she does – discounts his feelings then gets pissed when he discounts hers. It’s a complete farce as far as I can see. And would they get married for real if the whole thing is a farce? You betcha! They’re, like, famous n chit. lol
I have wondered if these reality couples always really get married or if it is just a show marriage. Does anyone really check on this through court records? And some of these weddings seem very staged with the majority of wedding party cast members. Just seems pretty easy to say it’s a marriage.
If I remember correctly, James was brought in by the now unmentioned son of Lisa and Ken’s.. Max.
I would find more interesting to know what Max and Pandora and her husband are doing.
James will still be a charity case. As for the new girl friend.. I think it’s a total fraud…imo
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I thought James was brought in by Kristen as a way to dig at Sandoval, who she was so not over that entire season. Sandoval and James were “making music together man”.
Ariana’s sanctimonious attitude just grates on me. Her persona does not feel genuine. If Sandoval dumped her, Ariana would be off the show.
Why the hell was Kristen so thrilled James got fired? She was fired and is still on the show. I did love Jax’s imitation of James though.
This season has been a bummer. I feel sorry for Katie. Katie and Schwarz’s relationship is really sad.
Not to sound like a perv (although I probably am) but did Kristen get new boobs?
Tom and Katie are a disaster in the making. Unfortunately, I’ve seen worse couples marry despite all the chaos and warning signs leading up to the altar and beyond. As a matter of fact, my 1st marriage was quite like that and my best friend refused to be my maid of honor. At the time it hurt but I understood her position. The day before my wedding I went to my priest, crying because I knew I was making a mistake. My priest wasn’t there but the one who was there wouldn’t let me leave until I told him why I was so upset. I told him and I could tell I broke his heart because I said I had to go through with it because so many people had flown in from all over. I asked him if I’d go to Hell for marrying despite knowing it was wrong. He said no, with tears in his eyes.
Saddest comment ever 😥
I’m sorry my comment made you sad, but yeah, although it was quite sad, I was very much into pleasing others back then, much to my own detriment. The good news is, I’m no longer that insecure person but it took time and experience to arrive where I am now. My point in sharing such a messed up comment was a real life, non reality television example of train wreck marriages and how they can come to be…
James constantly saying he is winning reminds me of Charlie Sheen.
I am blown away by how different Katie’s personality is this season. ( I also cannot stand Tom Sandoval’s hair). It was a pretty boring episode. I think if my fiance and therapist knew, and was concerned about me,when I go to the “dark side”, I may assume that figuring it out SOON may be a plan.
I am blown away by how different Katie’s personality is this season. ( I also cannot stand Tom Sandoval’s hair). It was a pretty boring episode. I think if my fiance and therapist knew, and was concerned about me,when I go to the “dark side”, I may assume that figuring it out SOON may be a plan.
Kristen had sex with her best friend’s man on the couch while her boyfriend was asleep, has punched lots of the cast in the face yet she is better than James ??? (I do love crazy kristen)
Scheana had an affair with a married celebrity, went to his wife & informed her that her husband had bought her diamond earrings yet she is better than LaLa ??
I hope James gets his job back because his one liners are hilarious.
LaLa is absolutely gorgeous & jealous Katie & the gang can’t deal with it. Katie is so jealous … run Tom run!
I adore Ariana & Tom how could you say anything negative about them?
This is likely not going to be a popular opinion, but oh well. Why is it anybody’s business except the man’s wife whether Lala is dating a married man? Besides the man and his wife and their families, and yeah ok Lala’s friends and families, they are entitled to voicing an opinion, but otherwise, no one else does. ESPECIALLY SCHENA! Schena did it With Eddie Cibrian while he was married to Brandi Glanville, when the internet was popular and she could easily search the b-list celebrity and find out his was married with 2 kids.
Come on be honest, if any of those witches thought they had the bod’s to do it, they would in a heart beat!! They have sugar daddy and sugar baby sites all over the internet. I’m willing to bet Stassi has had more than 1 sugar daddy and likely Kristen has slept with more than 1 married man!
Agree again.
Can someone plz tell me who sings the song that went ‘ lucky starts, beating hearts’ when lisa and Katie were walking into the flower shop in this episode??
Stars☆☆ I meant..