First of all can we please retire the terms “tea” and “shade”? They were already played out in the Atlanta gay community where the housewives appropriated the terms when RHOA began years ago. I am so beyond it now I can’t stand it. That rant is about the title that Bravo selected for the episode not any of you special snowflakes here. I still do it myself. But it just feels so 1999 lately, don’t you think?
As usual I got caught up in a Sunday night catch up session on our weekends with a couple of people and we had so much to chat about that I am once again late to recap. So let’s get right to whatever fascinating drama there is in the ATL tonight, shall we? I doubt it is half as juicy as the behind the scenes going on here on the site, but you never know.
I refuse to recap Phaedra’s attempt to capitalize the very serious issue of frequent murders of unarmed black men by police officers in this country. Or any of her self aggrandizing political involvements. Sorry. Not Sorry. Will not dignify it with my time. I find it appalling and disgraceful. Here are my thoughts on her DNC stunts at the time. I will also not play along with the farce that is Phaedra filing for divorce from Apollo. This REMAINS UNTRUE. That is not to say I believe that Apollo has filed on her yet either. I did see that poor pitiful Philly girl literally showing off her “prison paper engagement ring” from Apollo on Instagram this week though. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP, though I hope to God she is. Could anyone actually be flashing a “prison paper engagement ring” on Instagram in a serious fashion? In the world we currently live in? I now believe that anything is possible.
Okay Kenya, I am not going to recap your bullshit stories with Matt anymore either. I do not believe your “Matt lost his Gucci belt so I am making him a Gucci cake story.” Even those with traumatic brain injuries would not buy into this storyline. Matt could not afford a Gucci belt if he sold his Ford Pinto and took out a loan. After this weekend’s crazy bullshit stories with Matt and his new “girlfriend” (who seems light on the girl and slightly heavier on the friend) am I really quite done with all the nonsense. My New Year’s Resolution is going to be to be less gullible, and you my imaginary friend in my head are no longer going to be getting the benefit of the doubt with me. I have no idea what your end game is with this kid, but to be honest, I no longer care. And I do not want to watch you and Cynthia bake cakes.
Also, Kenya, if you are inviting a couple to do something with you and your man, you don’t do it right in front of your newly single BFF. I don’t understand why Kenya bothered to make her place on the show the well-mannered one over the last season or two if she is going to revert back to season one Kenya this season. Cynthia is quickly becoming the only likable one on the show again.
Speaking of unlikable, how did Kairo manage to get a DUI with the press finding out about this? Apparently, Kairo got pulled over for expired tags. I’m going to guess that was one of Sheree’s cars. And supposedly he was arrested for being high even though no pot was found. I am not sure I believe this happened either. Would Sheree really make this up for storyline though? Surely not. But it does seem strange. Kairo is a good kid. If it is true, it is the first truth of this episode. Or it’s simply another excuse for a fake Bob and Sheree scene.
The opening of the Old Lady Gang restaurant is the only interesting storyline to me at this point. Kandi is upset because they are three weeks behind schedule. That’s actually practically on time when it comes to opening a business. Of course Peter shows up to
get camera time give advice.
Todd and Peter catch up on their marriages and their BFF Apollo. This guy talk makes RHOA seem more like Love and Hip Hop. I’m not sure if I like it or not. I do have to say it seems more genuine. They do not mention anything about Apollo talking about Phaedra coming for a visit. This will be of note later in the episode.
Cynthia and Noelle go house shopping so that we get to see Cynthia’s new lake house. Of course we are pretending like this is the first time are seeing it. It really is a cute house. I think she is smart to buy out on the lake. As I mentioned before, this can be her vacation property when she ultimately moves to LA with Noelle and Leon. Plus, she has probably already forgotten that is the lake that Porsha assaulted her on, right? It is really big, for a lake house for one person. It’s over 4,500 sq ft and has six bedrooms. I love the outdoor shower and the indoor bathrooms are top of the line and completely move in ready. WOW, $949,000 seems really high but it is lakefront and very nicely finished. Okay, now that I have seen it all, the price seems more reasonable. I love it. It’s still a lot of upkeep for one person.
Wait, WHAT? Are we really going to do another Housewives on ATV Scene?
After this happened in Orange County, production decided to put Kenya, Matt, Kandi and Todd on some ATVs. This was filmed three months after the RHOOC accident. Production really does hate Kenya. Oh and apparently, Matt hates Kenya too because he didn’t show up to film. There was some bogus story about how he was in California visiting his sister. Um, noe. I am so over all of this contrived nonsense. If you are actually a fan of the show, nothing is believable anymore. You have to be someone who just watches the show and doesn’t follow any blogs in order for these shows to be enjoyable anymore. I guess he didn’t get his Gucci belt.
In her talking head, Kenya admits that Matt took off somewhere and didn’t show up for his birthday. Lena and her new husband are there instead. I’m telling you Lena worked for that peach and it’s a damn shame she didn’t get hers. She ends up playing sick so that Kenya can ride with RL and race Kandi and Todd.
After the ATV riding everyone talks with Kenya about her “relationship” with Matt. #eyeroll Kenya is way to smart and way to pretty for this nonsense.
Phaedra Goes To Visit Apollo? And the Bomb Threat on Her Office
On the way to visit Apollo, Phaedra gets the call about the bomb threat at her office. Angela Stanton’s ex, Drama, got out of prison and allegedly went to what he thought was Phaedra’s office to blow her up. Remember that? You can read about that here. And here you can read about Phaedra defending Drama here. Read about Drama’s bond here. You can tell that she was really freaked out by this despite her trying to play it all of as just a misunderstanding later. She was clearly afraid of Drama. They did not mention his name on the episode AT ALL. Interesting. It is also interesting this happened on the day that Phaedra was going to see Apollo. Coincidence?
What is she doing going to see Apollo, in person, at the jail by herself? THAT is what I want to know. Apollo calls her to see why she is late and they have a very civil conversation and then she continues in to visit him. Is this a good time to point out she is wearing a black and white striped jumpsuit for the visit? Again, I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. Why do I feel the need to say that so often when recapping this show?
It seems to me that Phaedra and Apollo are just as together as they ever were. I am not surprised in the least.
Next Week: Kenya’s storyline looks even more disappointing. Dayum, girl.