Dance Moms: It Seems I’ve Missed A Lot

For several weeks Dance Moms was in conflict with several other shows I enjoy more, so I have been quite a bit behind, and also feel like I must have missed an episode. What happened to Jo Jo with the Bow Bow? Did her mother finally have enough of Abby and leave?  If so, good for her. This bar will be closing soon and it won’t be good to be one of the last ones sitting there with Abby when the lights come on. It’s past time for most of these girls to get out and on with their careers before the shit hits the fan. Unless they think she might evade jail time, and there is still a chance that could happen last I heard.  I have not been following the court case where the ruling may set a precedent that would not require jail time for bankruptcy fraud that has no effect on any creditors and is simply a business restructuring.  I don’t have the presence of mind for all of that today, but I ‘ll check in to it in a week or two if I remember.

Let’s see what the latest episode has to bring.  There will be more typos than usual because I am on a bunch of meds so if that disturbs you, please skip this recap.  Wow, I just noticed this is being called the “seventh season premiere” and it is called Fight For Your Life.  I didn’t notice much of any of a hiatus. Weird. 

The episode starts with an overlay that says “Due to the explosive nature of the last competition, everyone decided to take a break and no one has seen each other for the past eight weeks.”  I paraphrase, but that was the gist of it. I didn’t notice that the last competition was any more explosive than usual, but then again, I’m learning I have a much higher tolerance for confrontation than most people. As I recall, the Junior Elites had left Abby and were working out of a competitive studio and Abby was working with the minis.  What was the big deal with that? It seems like just the usual hiatus between seasons to me.

Why does Abby still have no voice after 8 weeks off? Does she have a health problem? I thought it was just from all the screaming. Around the time this was filmed, Abby went off all over Twitter saying that production did not want the minis on the show anymore. She was furious. What we are seeing now is storyline about how she has to play that out on TV.  I believe in the end some of the minis stayed. But probably not my favorite, Peyton.  Peyton is already crying.

Abby announces she is going to have just one team. That team will apparently be a mix between the Juniors and the Minis.  Peyton’s  mom sees the writing on the wall, and she takes Peyton and goes home.  Probably smart of the mom, but I will miss Peyton’s she is so adorable.  She was not ready to dance with the juniors though. Also, there were five minis and four Juniors so Peyton was probably crying because she already knew she was not staying. Again, more storyline.

The competition is in Vegas. There are two duets. It’s Brynn against Kendall and Jill is already whining about the choreography being unfair.

At the competition, Abby doesn’t let the minis or their moms into the dressing room during the solo portion. Despite their being plenty of room, they all have to sit in the hallway. I don’t understand why they don’t just go watch the rest of the competition. Abby goes out to chat with the mini moms and tells them that the junior moms are jealous of the minis. When the junior moms come out, one of the mini moms tattles to the junior moms and Abby flat out lies about saying it, even though she just said it.

Kendall’s headpiece and makeup looks like something from a first grade play on a shoestring budge. Why no dramatic eyeliner? I’ve seen her wear more makeup to rehearsal.

Brynn does a beautiful, but boring lyrical entitled Evita.  In real life they are probably playing the actual song, Evita. For budget purposes we here a generic song that has a line about saving your tears for your pillow. Foreshadowing?

Kendall’s Cleopatra solo was flashier than Brynn’s lyrical but it seemed sloppy. And it makes me want to tell a story, which I am loath to do lately, but her goes. When I was growing up in middle school I went to one of those modeling classes for a major department store they had back in the day and ended up doing a few low-budget modeling things. One of the things they taught us was about walking up and down stairs. You are never supposed to look down, you simply walk down the stairs with your eyes straight ahead, confident that the stair is right where it should be. The same goes for sitting in a chair. You simply bend your knees and sit, you don’t look behind you, you continue looking straight ahead. Kendall seems to have missed this class and every time she sat in the chair it seemed like she got a few beats behind looking for the chair instead of just sitting in it.  I thought she was clunky and not very graceful. She had a decent set of turns at the end, but overall she seemed to be dancing well below her best level. I wonder if that was on purpose because production already knows who is going home?

Anyway, I would not be surprised if neither solo top the got spot depending on the competition.

After the solos, both Brynn, Kendall and Abby think the solos went well. All the moms descend on the dressing room to prepare for the group number.  The group number was cute. My eyes were on the minis the whole time. They were cute.  I still say the decisions were made before this dance.

At awards, Kendall took third place and Brynn managed to take first. The group placed first. Afterward, Abby became very emotional and was unable to make the cuts. Next week it looks like it’s back to the usual junior elites.

Are y’all still watching this with me?