The only surprising news about the recently announced divorce of Mike and Scheana Shay is that it lasted as long as it did. I’m not sure anyone thought this made for TV marriage would last. But before we get to that part, here is the official separation announcement as a result of Scheana filing for divorce.
“While we have made the difficult decision to move forward separately, our story will continue on through the love and mutual respect that we have cultivated throughout our 15-year friendship. Much of the recent speculation and reporting on our relationship has been misguided, and we have come to an amicable decision on all matters. We might have failed at our marriage, but we are committed to succeeding as friends and will continue to support each other’s personal happiness and professional success.”
We are supposed to believe that these two were high school sweethearts that found their way back to each other sometime in 2010. Then in 2013 they became engaged. You know what else happened in 2013? Season one of Vanderpump Rules. What a coincidence.
Let’s briefly look at the timeline…
The Shays got their free wedding by Bravo on July 27, 2014 at the Hummingbird Nest Ranch in Santa Susana, California during season three. Scheana of course made the wedding all about her and seemed not to care one way or another who the groom was. There was much discussion about her two piece crop top wedding dress, and I was one of the few people who liked it. I mean, not for me, but I thought it suited Scheana pretty well. By episode four, Scheana marriage was already on the rocks and Scheana announced to the world that Mike a had an addiction to prescription medications. Then she set into play the Scheana Shay Drug Rehabilitation Plan for her husband. This included lots of pots smoking. And by lots I mean hot boxing their marital apartment to the point that neighbors filed complaints about all the pot smoke escaping their apartments. And then there was all the drinking. I immediately think of the time the couple was at a restaurant where they both wanted to order every single specialty drink on the menu at the same time.
They managed to survive just over two years together until finally in early November Mike Shay was able to escape. This caused many things to happen. Scheana shut off the credit cards and Mike cleaned out the bank accounts. This doesn’t seem like a conscious uncoupling to me. This sounds like Mike making a clean get away.
Nonetheless, Scheana Shay tweeted, “Thank you all for the love today! It’s never easy to split with someone you still love, but we will always remain friends.”
I hope that Mike moves back to a normal town and gets a normal job far away from all of the aging cokeheads at SUR and the anorexic, adderall popping mean girls who sleep with them. Congratulations on saving yourself, Mike Shay.
Somewhere, Brandi Glanville is laughing.