One of the best things about this show is that while I do get some tea, I don’t know every little staged thing like on RHOA so I can watch it like a random. And let’s face it, randoms have all the fun when it comes to reality TV. We are ruined by all the tea. Ignorance is bliss, y’all. LVP looks every bit her age in that picture. If her age was being measured by ostrich years. What is this get up?
I can’t begin to tell you all of the things that have happened in the last two hours when I started this post set up. I can only say, I just want to get through this as quickly as possible. So here goes.
When you are dumb, and mid thirties and get a long of money, I think these idiots could come up with something better than hot glue guns of flowers on an bare paint can to ask people to be bridesmaids. I am drunk though, because I have real things going on in my life, so I may be prejudiced. Everyone is asked but Ariana and Lala. Including Kentucky. Who Katie has known for five minutes. Whatevia.
Look. I am so not into this at the moment. My mind is elsewhere. My plan is to give you more of a discussion point than a real recap.
It seems the main point of the cast is to get rid of James and Lala because they are bad people. PUHLEASE. Four fingers pointing back. I posted that James was fired on PUMP at some point. Apparently, this is not the point.
I am so sick of seeing women with droopy boobs. I am looking at you Ariana. If you want to hang them out get surgery. Otherwise, NO ONE NEEDS TO SEE THAT.
The boys argue about prenups. Marriage is a business deal. I’d love to get married but there would TOTALLY be a prenup. Schwatz tells Jax and the other Tom that he shoved their steaks up his ass before cooking them. Gay men show love in weird ways. They are kinda okay with it.
I love paper stores. The girls shop for invites. Katie wants to send the invitations with a towel. You know, in case she decides to throw one in. No one cares about Stassi or whether she is with Patrick or now. Really. But she tries really hard to make it a thing.
Lala wants to make up with Scheana. WHY? Lala is at the age where all this shit seems normal. Scheana is OLD and a cunt. Why degrade yourself Lala? WHY? You may be in your whore stage, but Scheana is not anymore. Scheana is at cunt level and trust me when I say whore level is so much more fun.
Apparently, Katie and the “cool girls” are jealous that Lala is dating a married man who is bankrolling her lifestyle. Lala tries to talk to Katie in the alley. I can’t with this. TEAM LALA. End of story. Katie is a cunt.
Schwartz with eyewear on FLEEK. Plus boring fake shit on cost of the wedding by Bravo. Look, I live in a shit shack in the ghetto but if I am invited to a party at THEIR age let alone mine that involved red solo cups. Um, noe. But Stassi wants EVERYTHING to be about her. No one cares about her relationship. Except Kentucky. Kentucky will film with anyone.
Lala and James talk about how Katie is a cunt. It’s apparently a house-warming party not a wedding party that Katie is throwing.
At the party, the anorexic theme continues. As well as the bitches talking about Lala. Even Kristen. Not cool, Kristen. I never expected for Ariana taking Lala’s side. I hate her slightly less now. Lala is the new Stassi. James is the new Jax. How long do these people think they can ride the storyline of twenty somethings waiting tables? THEY ARE PUSHING FORTY. Of course James and Lala are obnoxious. They are THEM back when obnoxious was age appropriate. Bravo is making a mistake keeping these people around. They don’t get why this show was once good.
Katie is pissed that Scheana acknowledges Lala at all.
Next week: Ariana is asked to be a groomsman.