By CJ Bomb
Hello everyone and welcome to Project Runway week eight!. This week my good friend Leslie is joining me while watching the show. She was a stylist and wrote a successful fashion blog, so I thought it would be interesting to get a professional perspective! Plus she’s really funny. And in my humble opinion, we need as much funny as we can get right now.
Mah-Jing says he’s not sad he didn’t win the money last week because he wants to improve his relationship with his mom more than he wants $25K. Could MJ be any sweeter? Cornelius notices he’s the only one left who hasn’t won a challenge. He knows he is a good designer, he just hopes the judges can finally see it. FORESHADOWING. Erin and Nat are massively relieved. Has it finally sunk her pretty little head that Erin might have something to be worried about? She has been in the bottom the last four times. The designers are given a mysterious note telling them to meet Tim for their next challenge. Something about spreading their wings.
They head to a rooftop and a Project Runway helicopter descends carrying Tim and Anne Fulenwider, Editor in Chief at Marie Claire. (Nina’s boss). Anne tells them they are taking a “power trip” around NYC in the helicopter and are to design an editorial look based on their inspiration for a “powerful woman.” She also reminds them that an editorial look IS NOT an everyday look. They have $300 and one day.
The designers take to the skies and everyone is loving it except MJ who looks like he’s trying not to throw up. Nat is influenced by the reflections of the buildings. The really shiny silver ones make her think of superheroes. Rik is loving Lady Liberty. Roberi is loving the freedom of being above traffic. Cornelius is dazzled by all the colors and takes a pic of a, golf course? Um, ok. He wants to do a dress for a business woman with an artsy side. That I am down with. Dex is going goth. Shocker. Laurence is doing a dress inspired by the skyline.
Rik is splatter painting fabric. Leslie and I are children of the eighties, so this brings us back. Not necessarily in a good way. MJ throws a wee bit of shade in his direction saying he also uses this technique, but when he does it, it’s dope. Rik is also very busy helping Nat. I never realized how much Jenni helped Nat before. Nat needs A LOT of help. MJ waxes poetic about how much he’s not only developed as a designer being on the show, but as a person. Leslie and I go, “awwwwww” again.
Erin was influenced by the vibrations of the helicopter. (Sigh) She is designing a weird pink vest/coat thing that we predict will be her swan song. As Leslie puts is, what the HELL is she thinking? As Rik puts it, “What powerful woman would want to look like Patrick from Spongebob Squarepants?” Not a one, Rik. Not a one.
Rik: Rik tells Tim about his Statue of Liberty influence. The draping seems off to me, but maybe that’s just because it’s not done. There is also a weird dress underneath the flowy splatter part. Tim is cool with it though.
Mah-Jing: MJ is celebrating his African roots with an edgy dress mixing tweed and denim. Tim tells him those are two very challenging fabrics to mix. Tweed also stretches. He says the fit has to be perfect.
Cornelius: Cornelius is doing weird, brightly colored leather amoeba shaped appliques on a fitted dress. Tim tells him to lose the amoebas and follow the very cool seams of the initial design he made instead. Tim just basically saved his ass.
Roberi: Roberi is designing another pretty, (not too sexy) flowy dress with a cape inspired by “freedom”. Tim asks if he takes the cape away is it “just another dress?” Leslie says that it looks like something she could get at Loehmann’s.
Laurence: Laurence is designing a cocktail dress. The waist has a skyline effect and Laurence is using a printed fabric for the high/low skirt. Tim notes that this is the first time she has ever used a print. He’s happy. I’m happy.
Dex: Dex is doing a coated denim coat with a shoulder like a wing. He is doing a full length see-through spandex lace dress. Now look, I love goth. For a while there I WAS goth. I LOVE Rick Owens and Maison Martin Margiela and wear them frequently, I’m wearing an Alexander Mcqueen skull t-shirt right now, BUT, to me? This just seems like it’s trying TOO hard to be edgy.
Nat: Nat is doing a jumpsuit with a raincoat. Tim asks what is editorial about the jumpsuit? And why a raincoat? He tells her to edit using the million different textiles she bought and amp up the jumpsuit.
Erin: Erin. There are no words. Tim tells her she has designed something that is boxy and milk-cartony. Leslie mutters, in other words, it sucks. It dawns on Erin that she has designed a “piglet” dress. Les and I both lose it. Erin then says it’s a band-aid, piglet, labia dress, at which point I am laughing so hard Leslie grabs the remote to pause the show and orders me to write that down so I remember it properly. I do, we refill our wine glasses, and then watch Erin have a total, what the fuck did I just do, and what the hell am I going to do now? moment.
Panic sets it. MJ’s tweed IS stretching. After saying he’s doing a completely different shoulder from the mickey mouse jacket he designed that last time, Dex does the EXACT same shoulder on this jacket. The dress is completely see-through. He tells his model to wear black underwear on the runway. Nat’s making a space age, Buck Rogers jumpsuit. Not only space age. Eighties space age. Remember that show? Erin Gray would have totally rocked this. Nat is melting down completely. She had no idea it would be this hard. If I only had a dollar for every time I heard that on this show. Laurence tells her to “Get it together, little girl.” And even Dex brings her tissues as she sobs over her Brother sewing machine. Rik is done, so after he takes a quick nap, he tries to help Nat.
Heidi comes out in a form-fitting classy black dress. She’s really been killing it in the last few weeks. Perhaps Nina is putting out outfits for her like I do for my kids? Anne Fulenwider and actress Camilla Belle are the guest judges. I explain to Les how I do this. When the outfit comes down the runway, tell me the first thing that pops into your head.
Dex: Leslie: She looks like a goth, South Beach matador. Me: Nothing, laughing too hard. But that pretty much sums it up.
Nat: Leslie: Boring, Boring, Boring. Me: Buck Rogers, Buck Rogers, Buck Rogers. Nat’s in trouble.
Roberi: Leslie: She starts singing Raspberry Beret by Prince. I take her wine away. Me: Yawn. Flowy, pretty, but not editorial.
Mah-Jing: Leslie: Architectural and cool. Me: Uptown meets downtown.
Cornelius: Leslie: She says for some reason she’s thinking of a Scandinavian businesswoman who needs a pop of color due to bad weather in winter. Me: It’s well made, but now I’m thinking of a Scandinavian flight attendant.
Laurence: Leslie: I want this for my next cocktail party (which is actually at my house) Me: Pretty, but not hugely editorial.
Erin: Leslie: Little House on the Prairie with metallic tweed? Me: At least it’s not a fucking coat.
Rik: Leslie: A wearable piece of art. Me: Love the drape, don’t love the back, but it flows prettily down the runway.
Picks for the top, Leslie: Rik, Laurence and MJ, with Laurence for the win. Me: Rik, MJ and Laurence, with Rik for the win.
Picks for the bottom, Leslie: Nat, Roberi and Dex with Nat going home. Me: Nat, Dex, and Erin with Nat going home.
Judges Top Three
Mah-Jing: Nina says she can totally see the aerial view and loves the hard/soft element. Camilla says that this is a powerful woman. Anne says it’s like a cool suit of armor. Zak tells MJ that is has great contours and is exciting.
Erin: WTF???? Heidi says it’s a great editorial dress. Anne says it’s feminine and fun. Nina says that it’s a “safe” dress for her.
Cornelius: WTF AGAIN??? Zak says it was a risky placement of seams, but it totally worked. It was Heidi’s favorite look. Anne says she’s a customer. Nina likes the severity of form with the whimsical colors.
Judges Bottom Three
Nat: No surprise here. Heidi says she looks like a Power Ranger. Zak says the construction is awful. Nina says she looks like she’s going to Comi-Con.
Rik: huh? Les looks at me and says, really? How much have we had to drink? The judges like the front, hate the back. Camilla says it felt incomplete. Nina used the word tablecloth. Anne LOVED it. She thought it was dramatic and magnificent.
Dexter: They are pissed he made the same jacket. Camilla says Minnie Mouse meets Marilyn Manson. They are also pissed that the best part of the whole thing was the model’s OWN undergarments. Nina tells him he already played this card.
Cornelius gets the win! The judges say they are happy Tim saved him. Natalia is sent packing, to no one’s surprise. But just when I think Dex needs to send her a fruit basket, THEY SEND HIM HOME TOO! Double elimination. Wow. Do you agree with the judges decisions this week?
And I loved to hear your favorite designers last week. Tell everyone one of the favorite outfits you ever had when you thought you looked awesome, but you look back now and cringe. I just found a picture of myself from the eighties in red velvet knickers, a gold belt and a ruffled shirt. Yikes.