APOLOGIES. I HAD AN INTERNET OUTAGE. BACK UP NOW. EXHAUSTED. WILL DO RHONJ AND WWHL TOMORROW.
First of all, despite the Herculean efforts by Bob Whitefield to get Sheree her peach, the bitch owes her peach to Kenya. The whole Chateau Sheree versus Moore Manor storyline is Sheree’s only storyline. The season begins with Kenya’s housewarming and ends with Sheree’s and everything in between is smoke and mirrors. I heard this week that Sheree had the cable turned on at the Chateau. I was also told that because she doesn’t have appliances in her kitchen that a certificate of occupancy could not be given, but that it was fine for her to move in there despite those basic necessities. It still remains unclear if she has heating and cooling. I feel like it is going to be mighty drafty in that big ole monstrosity. She will probably be back in a rented apartment soon, if she can find someone to lease to her. It doesn’t stay cold long in the ATL but December and January can be brutal with no heat. The comes blazing hot weather again.
Meanwhile, the ever thirsty Porsha has arrived at Moore Manor. We know this is an all cast, so even Kenya was expecting this. I am apparently the only one who thinks Sheree’s reaction is obnoxious. I guess maybe because I’ve spent more time than I cared to with her stank ass self. That hair though. Could someone at least agree with me that her edges are beyond fucked up? They are actually worse than Porsha’s.
I die at Porsha’s talking head with all that fake hair on top of her head.
Kenya immediately pulls Porsha to the side. She very graciously asks Porsha to leave. And she does. And so does Phaedra because she was her ride. Phaedra was dumb take her as her plus one. She lost all that screen time. I think Phaedra comes to the realization that she needs to suck up to Kenya a bit later in the season. Kenya is the star now. Sheree never got that memo and so she is going to be the next victim. Kenya graciously tells the others that she is sure she has been kicked out of better places. Well done, Kenya. Well done.
Oh Lord, Sheree goes out after them to stir the shit. ROFLMAO. Kenya says she doesn’t know why Sheree ducked out, “I don’t know if it is curfew time at the shelter she’s been staying at…” Yes. Three birds with one classy pebble, Kenya. Good work. Oh I just remembered something. Phaedra was shut out of the inner sanctum in South Africa I heard. Not included with Steve Harvey and his wife and the truly rich crowd. She was caught sucking up to Beyonce’s mother though. #tea
Matt shows up, also uninvited. Production did some shady stuff with Matt this season but I can’t talk about it too much because my sources will shut me down. Matt literally pets Kenya. Look I am all about Kenya Moore all damn day, but this Matt thing is just bad. I hate how smart women can be so dumb when it comes to boys. And he is a boy. The other RHOA leave and Kenya shoots a scene with just Matt in her bedroom.
I keep a lot of secrets from you guys and one of them is that I was invited to the housewarming by Kenya’s people. I politely declined because I am not a all interested in being on TV. I just realized though that I should have been paying closer attention because I sent a gift in lieu of my presence. It’s been so long I had totally forgotten.
Matt apologizes to Kenya. I know that people are going to say that this is all fake. It is not. I’ve had experiences with Matt and I know his language and his words and I have sources on the inside of this and this scene makes me sad. I know Kenya was afraid. I know Kenya really like Matt. I know she felt like she finally had a protector and then she didn’t. I feel so sad for Kenya. I believe she really thought about having a baby with Matt. I know things went horrifically downhill. I would try to have compassion for Matt but I know also that more things happen. These are real tears and it is heartbreaking. Kenya’s words about not wanting to start all over with someone else are heartbreaking. I have been there. I have compromised. I am so sad for her.
Cynthia tells Noelle she is divorcing Peter. Noelle was very aware of their problems. She has heard the fights. Noelle thinks that her mother has low self-esteem. Cynthia realizes that she let the marriage go on longer that what was healty for everyone involved. Cynthia cries. It was a very touching scene.
Kandi and Todd are capitalizing off of the birth of Ace. I’ve seen this on Instagram, but I was a bit distressed by this. I know Kandi never leaves a dollar on the table. I remember in South Africa when I forget who started throwing dollar bills around and Kandi was the first one to start picking them up. I get that. There is a reason she is the only true rich bitch on this show. She has an empire and she usually downplays it. But this seems a bit … questionable to me. On the other and if there is a market, capitalize on it. I remember when my sister had a baby boy how very hard it was to dress a boy up in cute clothes all those years ago. Girls? Sure but boy baby clothes that were equally adorable were hella hard to find. So, there is a market, and Kandi is a hustler. What do you think of this? I also think she is ahead of the curve when it comes to potty training and selling potty seats for tiny infants on the toilet is kind of genius. She has proven that it works. No potty training specialist for unruly toddlers needed here.
Mama Joyce shows up and they show her the creative for Old Lady Gang restaurant. If I get an invite to that, and I have put out feelers. I will DEFINATELY go and just lay low and come back and tell you all about it. I think the restaurant will be great. They are very behind schedule. Things never happen when they should.
How much to I love Mama Joyce right now. She is totally calling out Phaedra for being in on the shit Apollo did. She’s like “You see him leaving for work everyday, but you can’t call him at his office?” To quote our next president, “LOCK HER UP!” lol. Mama Joyce is going off about Phaedra dragging her feet about divorcing Apollo. YES MAM. And the reports that Phaedra has finally divorced Apollo? There is no legal document to support that assertion. None. And I have had some of my best sources look into it as well as contacted main stream media sources who cannot support that assertion either. Now you know some site have all the money in the world to post court documents. Have you seen any evidence of even a filing? NOE. No you have not. Kandi is pretending like she is not all about this tea. Then Don Juan comes out talking about Phaedra’s boyfriend rubbing her feet while she is eating bon bons.
It’s time for a sit down with Kenya and Phaedra. I am expecting at detente. Why is it so hard to get an accent mark on WordPress, FFS? They are both apparently open to that. Sadly, Kenya says that she and Matt are doing great. Phaedra says that regular sex does her good and her skin looks great. #shade And lies. Kenya and Matt are not doing great. Kenya has apparently decided to adopt a boy rather than have one. Sorry, Kenya. But it’s true. And this SADLY is not just for the show. She is still fucking with that boy. Phaedra acts like she is not getting dick. No one, including Kenya believes this.
Look, in Atlanta being inside the perimeter (ITP) is a huge thing. The perimeter is 285. I am just barely outside (OTP) and that is not good enough. Plus I live in the ghetto, like for real for real so that is totally uncool. But now we are off to The Mill again, which is a restaurant in Duluth where we have filmed before and it so SOFA KING OTP that it’s not even worthy of calling it Atlanta. This is also the area where Porsha bought her house of ill repute and Nene has an empty home that Brentt has a photo of a fridge with nothing in it but an energy drink and old people medications on his Instagram. With all the money Nene owes the government, I imagine there is a tax lien on that house she couldn’t afford and she can’t sell it until the government is paid.
Sheree who is also OTP but now by much has made the long ride to the burbs of Tennessee to meet with Porsha who is going to end up being her only ally this season I believe. Even Phaedra is jumping ship. Porsha wants to know if Sheree has moved into the women’s correctional facility she is building. Hilariously, she says she doesn’t want any of “her old furniture.” Um, does she mean this stolen furniture she swears she didn’t steal? That is hilarious because I recently heard that she was filming at her storage unit full of all that old crap with Kim Biermann. I know how weird that sounds, but my source was adamant. And she also rented all kinds of stuff for the housewarming. Allegedly. According to the streets of Atlanta where Mama Joyce and I hang out. Porsha says at this point she would be in there with a mattress, and some Comcast. Oddly that is is exactly what is going on. To be honest, I can’t remember if I posted about that yet. But yes, supposedly she got cable turned on just the other day and is living in there all alone with no appliances. So the streets say. It’s sad really to see all of this pretending. Sheree says that angry black women often get labeled as angry black women. They are both bitches.
Oh this is Phaedra and Kenya interspersed with Sheree and Porsha. Phaedra says that Kenya should give Porsha a chance to show that her anger management for the camera has changed her. Porsha is going to have an all cast event where she has to invite Kenya. Whatever.
Back to Kandi. I really want to be invited to the Old Lady Gang opening. But I don’t want to be known there. And I don’t think it will be filmed. But I just know this restaurant is going to be great. I am not sure where it will be exactly though and it may be outside my comfort zone. Mama Joyce is concerned about all the money going into this restaurant. Aunt Bertha is not amused by the whole thing. I love Aunt Bertha. The Old Lady Gang is happy they are going to get some money out of this.
Kenya, Cynthia and Kandi head to a waxing place to do a bit of grooming. Kenya says that Lena (I really do wish we had seen more of her) told her that Sheree was trash talking her house. I am inclined to believe it was production that told her that. Y’all I am so sleepy I am falling over. I do not know how the hell I will get through this and RHONJ and WWHL with Kenya tonight. This getting dark at 5 pm thing has me falling asleep at the wheel I apologize. Kenya is about five IRS dodges behind at this point when she calls it Chateau Thelma. I went through all of this with Sheree when she took me to court and my attorney had to point out that Sheree was putting her house in her mother’s name, and her daughter’s name and finally in a bogus shell corporations name. My last court date with Sheree was probably the most interesting as there was a moment we thought she might get arrested! If you were not a reader during the time I was going to court with Sheree on the heels of quitting teaching, you should plug court with Sheree into my search box. It’s one of those things that is hysterical if it is not happening to you. Kenya pretends like she is paying for the waxing when we know it is product placement by Bravo.
Awkward meeting with Peter and Cynthia. Peter is fighting the divorce. He doesn’t want to talk to her divorce attorney. He has sob stories. He says he went to the hospital with chest pains and he had no emergency contact. Cynthia says she is still wanting to be his friend. She doesn’t hate him. She want to be friends with him. She still loves him. She just can’t be married to him. Peter calls the lawyer to ask for the paperwork.
I love that Ladies of London is coming back on November 29th!
Porsha’s event is one of those mystery room things where you have to find your way out of the room. There are two teams. Porsha, Cynthia and Kenya on one. The other three on the other. None of them could get themselves out of the mystery room.
Kenya and Sheree get into it about home building once again. Kenya tells Sheree that she heard about her talking to Lena about her house. LOL. Kenya says she has enough issues with aggressive men. She is not going to have another man (Sheree) getting all aggro on her. Which is kind of hysterical considering what the streets say about Sheree.
Next week: Matt and Kenya go to meet his family. And Kandi has to deal with Riley’s dad. It’s all pretty bad. But after the Kenya and Matt trip, Matt was on IG acting like he didn’t know he was being filmed. WHEN THERE WERE CAMERAMEN RIGHT THERE. He’s crazy. And he is still around Kenya in real time!