Okay, let the Andy suck up game begin. Oh dear God this is not a real show it is one of those stupid awards shows. I do not understand why they do this. Or why I have spent all this time setting up the technical crap for this. I thought it was just the usual Andy sucking up to Lisa for no reason. He has a much larger fortune than she does. He really does buy in to all the hype.
And he has already referred to himself as “Daddy” and that’s before he gets around to his Giggy worship. I can’t with this it is late, I have done three posts in the last three hours. Let’s get this over with.
LVP doesn’t like Sandoval’s latest
gay metrosexual bizarre hairdo. Then they go straight to the star of Pump Rules, Kristen to discuss her relationship. She gets a montage. LVP says the relationship has gone a lot longer than she expected but it did have a bit of a hiccup tonight. Really? Does LVP think we believe Jax or that she does? What, LVP says she does believe Jax and that it happened. Wow. What a manipulator LVP is already and we are on the first episode!
LVP is team Katie this season, as we gathered by her being awarded this season’s wedding. I wonder how Scheana feels being last season’s special snowflake usurped by Katie?
I don’t believe anything LVP is saying about James. We have seen real time coverage. Now, she is through Kentucky under the bus. WHO BELIEVES JAX OVER ANYONE? Andy is obsessed with this topic.
They talk about Scheana’s huge weight loss and her nose job. I imagine she needed a new septum.
Someone asks if she had to bring one back to SUR, Kristen or Stassi who would she choose. She says Stassi because Kristen likes to get in the middle of all the drama. She just said the same thing about Jax who can get arrested every season and work while appearing to be high as a kite. Then she calls out Jax for acting like he didn’t ask her to hire Kentucky.
Someone asks about Lala and the sugardaddy. She says she heard the rumor but she can’t go off rumors and Lala denies it. She said she doesn’t know who it is but at long as it is not her husband…./laughs with Andy
When Dorinda arrives looking amazing to accept her award, she is relegated to sit on a hard bar stool.
A caller asks about LVP’s relationship with Yolanda, Brandi and Rinna. LVP says she ran into Yolanda they were cordial and she was interested to hear about her health that was much better. No contact with Brandi, she has her blocked, and as for Rinna,
it was in her contract that she got to have a go at her this season and she loved every second of it. Andy and LVP laugh maniacally about Rinna.
LVP sort of jabs at Dorinda for having pink in her hair and minor patches of pink on her gorgeous dress. She is deadly seriously about the whole no one is allowed to wear pink but her. When Dorinda said it was a tribute to her that seemed to appease LVP. This was a serious conversation for LVP.
THE STUPID AWARDS
President: Lisa Vanderpump (Guess Bethenny Frankel knows where she stands in this rigged election)
Speaker of the Housewives: Dorinda Medley
Plastic Surgeon General: Siggy Flicker
Style Ambassador: Kyle Richards
The rest are on the website. Kenya won Secretary of Shade. Heather Dubrow won TWO. And Don Juan, Kandi’s assistant, won one.
Le sigh. Bonne nuit, mes amis.