Now that you’ve made it though the first part of RHOOC Reunion, if you would like still more bitching and insults between women, on Tonight’s premiere, it seems Kentucky, Lala, and Stassi all take their fair share of hits. Oh and James will probably be pushed around by Jax. So yay for more abusive language! Oh and the shocking TMZ story carefully timed to come out with this premiere is about Scheana’s marriage. Since I started this article, Mike has posted a photo holding a newspaper, kind of like a hostage victim. Very appropriate.
We begin with Jax and his bullshit stories. YAY. He is acting like he is irritated that Kentucky is working at SUR now. Um, he pushed for her to get the job and they are just finishing up filming their spinoff in Kentucky. So they leaked a story about Jax going to a NYC promotion for Pump Rules without her. She’s at home in Kentucky spending time with her mama. But it just coincidentally fits in with the first episode of the season with the theme that Jax is over Kentucky.
Meanwhile, Scheana looks like a methhead. It’s frightening. It’s not just the unhealthy weight loss, her teeth are weird, here eyes are huge, she is unrecognizable in a bad way. Her first talking head is to trash talk Lala, because we are going to have a bully beat down with the others girls and Lala this season until they drive her off the show. Spoiler. They are successful. I’m not a Lala fan but I despise bitches that band together to bully one particular girl. They seem sort of old and jealous. I am having trouble pulling my eyes away from Scheana’s weird teeth long enough to type. I know she fell and lost a lot of her teeth in the accident a few years ago, but they were fine last season. It has to be the dramatic weight loss.
LVP shows up and has a cute exchange with Lala, who I miss already, at the hostess stand. LVP asks where she has been and Lala tells her that she’s been working on a movie. LVP asks if it is one she could watch and Lala flashes back like lightening with, ” Do you watch porn?” I have to hand to LVP for replying, “Sometimes.” It’s actually not porn Lala had a small role in a Nicholas cage film.
YAY Kristen! Oh and Stassi. I love that Kristen sometimes wears a fake engagement ring. I used to do that too sometimes. And a wedding band. This was back when I wanted to go out and not get hit on. The rings didn’t seem to completely stop that from happening though.
James and Lisa set up a scene to let us know that James is going to get wasted at whatever this event is that everyone is going to after work and blame it on his father officially leaving his mother. The whole scene is ridiculous with LVP playing mother hen.
Then we get to Jax who has decided to spread rumors about his own girlfriend, Kentucky. He tells one of the Toms that he came home to Kristen in bed with Kentucky giving her oral sex. He’s telling Tom this behind the bar. On camera. He knows this will um…spread everywhere. This is such horseshit. I can believe it happened I cannot believe Jax was furious and stormed out of the house. He’s been with both of them. It was 3 am. If this happened he just stripped down and climbed in the middle like a normal male.
Tom immediately tells LVP. And then Ariana.
At the party at Skybar, we discover Kristen is in the one in a stable relationship (with a little box licking on the side???) and Stassi and Patrick are currently on in what she claims is an on and off situation. I think it is mostly off. Lala and James go everywhere together, but they are just friends according to Lala.
Jax comes to the party and starts telling everyone that Kristen went down on Kentucky. Why do people believe Jax?
When Lala and James arrives the core group gets all “you can’t sit with us.” And so it begins. So Lala says that she can see none of them have been working on their summer bodies, and James asks Katie if she is pregnant and congratulates her. Scheana has something similar to an Adderall rage and starts slapping James drink out of his hand and going ballistic on him. There is a double fingerpoint moment with Katie and Scheana. And then James pulls off an alcohol toss like no other that I already want a gif of that is part mimicking masturbation and part drink toss toward Katie. Tom gets up and so does Jax who starts to take of his sports jacket. He’s already told us that he has four months left on his probation but he really hates James. #Jealous
Of course nothing happens. Tom and Arianna arrive and apparently they have not ostracized Lala and James appropriately, and Katie becomes a bit unhinged toward them for mentioning that the spoke to those two on the way in and there was no indication of an issue. Sandoval goes to ask James what the fuck the problem is. James says they were just unwelcoming bitches. Then James plays the whole, “My daddy left us and moved back to London.” James bawls like a baby and grabs Sandoval in the most hilariously, poorly-acted scene in history.
Meanwhile, Katie still has Arianna at her table is and still trying to coerce her into shunning Lala. She tells her that one of her friends is close with the wife of Lala’s sugar daddy. To that I say, “Which one?” Lala is ruining this woman’s marriage, blah blah blah shut up Katie. Stassi is also furious that Lala is a sugarbaby whose sugar daddy bought her a Range Rover. Again. #Jealous And I don’t believe for a minute either of these two know the wife. Lala’s situation has nothing to do with them. Now the drug abuse in this group has something to do with all of them. But they have no reason to care who Lala is dating. Katie is drunk off her ass and says that anyone who is friends with them is dead to her too. These people are pushing forty. This is just ridiculous behavior. All of them have stories out about sleeping around for money. They are just pissed that the new kids are in town. Ariana goes to hang out with Lala. Now Lala is crying. Schwartz is mad at Katie. Tom and Ariana just leave.
The next day, Katie goes to visit LVP to talk about being her assistant. Katie unloads on LVP. LVP refuses to address the gossip about Lala’s boyfriend.
Jax and Kentucky have a new place. They fight about Jax making up shit about her and Kristen. Kentucky is furious with him. They tried to warn you, Kentucky.
Schwartz and Katie also have a new place and a new dog. Katie invites the girls over to bitch about Lala and James. Meanwhile they talk about them behind the DJ booth.
LVP sits down with James and says she is sick of making excuses for him being a little bitch and a little asshole.
This recap is the perfect example of why I no longer spend time watching VR. These “adults” are pushing middle age and they are stuck in Neverland. There is no sign that they want to improve their station in life. If it wasn’t for landing a spot in VP, they would all be low-life grifters. Sickening.
Just reading the recap disgusts me and to think there are people in their age bracket who will watch and emulate them thinking that abnormal behavior is one way to success.
There is not a one of them that is “cool”. Not one. The choice of being fucked up is not beautiful. It is shameful.
Oh man… West coast here. I can’t wait to see this episode!! I hope my husband goes to bed early tonight! He hates my reality “drama tv” as he calls it, so I have to stay up and catch the encore episodes. Thanks for the sneak peak TT!!
uuuuummmmmm $30/hr, 6 hours per day, assuming five days? That’s $3600 a month under the table people! Okay, I get that she has to file since it was on camera…but in real life it would be under the table. Where do I sign up for these gigs?
Lisa said she would only need her one day a week.
This is like Vegas 24/7. New watcher here but that LaLa girl saying she just spread her legs because he had worked for it 😮 #ProudMommyGoneWild
Sorry that hashtag made no sense. Still trying to wrap my head around what I just watched.
There is no one to root for on this show, besides Tom and Arianna, and we know they cant stay neutural, cause they wont get airtime. . Katie, Schenna and Stassi all seem so miserable and grumpy all the time. Its getting easier to turn Bravo off lately. Thanks for watching it, so I didn’t have to.
I love vanderpump rules! Yes, they are in their 30’s going on 13 but that’s what makes the show fun to watch.
Cunnilingus – it’s the LA handshake! Now that’s a slogan.
I believe Jax. I think the girls were naked wasted and Kristen is someone who, much as I like Kristen, isn’t err picky who she has sex with. Personally I think she has low self esteem and uses sex to get validation or to get people to like her. I think Brittany was pass out drunk and said wtf. I don’t think Jax had opportunity to join in bc they broke it up as soon as he caught them. Just my opinion.
Scheana has some colored contacts in during her talking head. Very oft-putting
The Katie fat shaming stuff, what did she expect when she continuously calls Lala a whore? Don’t pretend to be all above personal attacks when you are right down in the mud with your own hands filthy. For the record, I don’t think Katie is fat.
I liked the LA handshake line, too. I guess the sexy ways of Atlanta are on the west coast, too. Maybe Brittany and Ajax have a sex dungeon in their apartmen like Kandi and Todd. 😂
Thanks for the great recap, TT. Jax spreading rumors about his GF and Kirsten. I love this show.
I cannot stand Katie. Seriously, I could not hate her more. I know this season will be the Katie show, so I won’t be watching.
Ah, shit. Who am I kidding. Yes I will.
I can’t stand Stassi and how she makes Jax, Kristen, and Katie the worst versions of themselves. Add Kentucky Fried Titties and I’m out.
This is my favorite “guilty pleasure” I don’t know why….. maybe because I was once 20+ and worked as a bartender/waitress, hung out with my group of friends & made stupid mistakes…. #Memories…lol It takes me back…..I can’t wait to see how this season plays out!
I am happy that Kristen (my favorite) is still fidgety & doing well, I like-ish Stassi, Still rooting for Katie & Tom, Ariana is still bitchy & stuck-up >Love it, Tom > I can’t with his hair & I’m still not sure if he is bi or not. I have no idea why Brittany is still with Jax , I still believe if Stassi would take him back that he would go. I liked Lala last season & felt bad when she was shunned by the others. This season I’m not sure after that “Lala land” comment and I hope she doesn’t change my opinion of her.. James > I am also British and he is an embarrassment to Brits everywhere! He needs to get back in his pram and stay there! I really hope Mike Shay is okay and his wife can fall off the planet for all I care. I hope this season she is put in her place. She is not Lisa & never will be, no matter how much she kisses her ass & acts like she is the “star” of the show
Lisa Vanderpump is the Queen period!
He really is acting like a petulant 14 year old girl. So what if daddy abandoned you? We’re supposed to SUPPRESS these things, especially in front of a bloody CAMERA! Stiff upper lip and all that…
When Katie said about the one day a week assistant job that it would be like a shift at SUR money-wise, I don’t know how many days a week she works, but that is really good money. For Lisa to pay her that much an hour to be her assistant is really gracious. These kids are really fortunate to have such a caring boss who is so generous with the hourly wage.
She was referring to six hours being like a shift in sur. Trust me, lisa won’t be paying a waitress twenty quid an hour!!!
Why do people insist on trying to befriend people who don’t like them? James/LaLa have never really gotten along with the rest of the girls for very long. James is constantly drunk and belligerent and LaLa has always been a somewhat polarizing figure to these girls.It was an big “OK” party, was there seriously not anyone else to hang out with? Could they not have said alright..f@ck you and move on? As far as LaLa goes, she has doled out just as much trash talking towards to Katie in the past……..I kind of see it as a draw….
I need more crazy in my Kristen but I know it’s coming…