Tonight snuck up on me. I didn’t realize the season premiere of RHOA and the first half of the RHONJ reunion were both on tonight. I’m not ready for all this! But, ready or not here we go!
Kandi
We start off with Kandi and Todd waking up with Ace. Ace seems like the best kid. He’s very quiet and happy. Kandi is potty training Ace very, very early. It sounds weird, but it seems to be working for her. She did it with her other child as well. She also started a business for him right away selling all sorts of baby products. That Kandi is never one to leave a dollar on the table if she can pick it up. Kandi isn’t overly impressed with Todd’s contributions to the child rearing. However, Todd Instagram is all Ace all the time, so not quite sure how true that is.
Cynthia
Cynthia goes to see a divorce attorney. She claims there has been no infidelity on either side. Oh, Cynthia… just say it. And she says the issue is her. This has been her mantra while on press tour the last couple of weeks. She says she is just not wife material. I do not believe that. She claims she will not ever be in a relationship again that it takes a lawyer to get her out of. That’s what they all say. The lawyer says it could be done in six months. They have a prenup. She just wants the house which is in her name. Cynthia is sad. And gorgeous. So gorgeous. There is a heartbreaking scene of her crying in her car after the meeting.
Cynthia calls to talk to Peter about the prenup. Peter is being an ass, saying he is with his girlfriend and then saying his new girlfriend is the club.
Porsha
Porsha has a new fake anger management coach as part of her contract. I am not sure I can even recap this stupidity. She claims she has been going for a couple of months. I don’t believe her. Porsha says she contemplated suicide in high school over bullying. I don’t believe her.
Phaedra
Whenever I start to feel bad about my upper arms I’m just going to look at this photo of Phaedra. That said he has the best house, of all of them if you ask me. Best location on a little cul-de-sac where her boys play with the neighbors, reasonable size. It’s nice.
That said, here we go AGAIN with Phaedra claiming she has filed for divorce. I have some really good courthouses sources who assure me that has not happened. This is why I didn’t jump on the band wagon the other day when Phaedra told some podcaster her divorce was final. I think she is just saying that because she is going to hook up with guys this season and she wants people to think she has at least filed. But no.
OMG! I had forgotten about the Cinderella horse and carriage in Phaedra’s neighborhood and all the confusion about why no one was in it. Now we know. It was an invitation to Kenya’s housewarming. There was a not on the invite saying,”Please be sure your plus one is hot, and not a THOT. ” #ShadyInvitation Even though they both know the invite is specifically saying that the Queen of THOTlandia is not invited, Phaedra quickly invites her.
Kenya
Kenya still has some work to do on Moore Manor in the film we are seeing now. As she talks up through the process, she takes her first shot at Porsha in her talking head. If you recall most of the housewives are furious that Porsha was allowed back on the show after assaulting two people last season. Moore Manor has five bedrooms, five and a half baths, a theater, it’s 6,000. I still think that is was to big for Kenya. But these housewives seem to love paying property taxes and air conditioning bills. Her floors are gorgeous. Kenya is living in the house during the final phase of construction to supervise. Unlike, her “faux neighbor” as she calls Sheree. Kenya is on her construction workers right up behind them checking their work and twirling in their bulldozers. That is what you have to do.
Right away we talk about her breakup with Matt, which is sad because they broke up just days before filming started. It was super hard on her and she had to go straight from Mexico to NYC to film Worst Cooks. Kenya says it has been at least a month since she has seen Matt in person and she broke up with him. As I reported things went terribly wrong on the Mexican vacation they took to get a bit of beach time in before the show started up again. Matt had a jealous rage in Mexico and was checking her phone to see who she was texting, then he kicked in the door to the hotel room and started grabbing all of her things and throwing them everywhere. He lost all control.
Sheree
We cut to some film of Mama Joyce sweeping the dirt in front of Chateau Sheree. What? That is Sheree? Am I the only one that thinks Sheree looks like Mama Joyce with this hair?
We walk inside the house! Finally, on the filming you are seeing that is edited in with no people was taken just last week after the housewarming. They are trying to make it look like Sheree is catching up to Kenya but that never happened. Kenya’s was completed months before Sheree’s. This is production’s big story line though and all season long production encouraged these women to fight over whose house was closer to completion and to put each others house down. I see there is a room labeled at The Library Lieberry But I am not sure where that could possibly be. Only the back of the house has any real windows to speak of. It looks like the great room all over again. I’m really not sure where the lieberry went. There were no shelves built in to the lieberry we saw. I think I saw a Speak N Spell sitting in the middle of the floor though. We were not shown the rollin’ rink. We were shown the choppy oddly shaped closets. Now y’all can finally see what I was talking about with this place. It’s sort of like a fun house at the circus in there. Very oddly shaped rooms.
We get to see Kairo’s room, where he will be hooked up with… wait, he is off to college. It’s a guest room. Then we see Kaleigh’s room, again with photos from just a few weeks ago spliced in because those railing JUST went up. Kaliegh is a senior in high school. None of these people will ever live in this house. However, I did hear that Sheree might be moving in because “her lease is up” at her apartment. That has to be scary as hell living on and empty house near a public bus stop along in and empty house. I doubt she will do that for more than a night or two. The last shot of the house is hen the railings were just beginning to be installed. Tierra has no fake bedroom. Sheree tells us in a confessional that Tierra can continue to live in Townhouse Tierra and leave Chateau Sheree to her. That didn’t stop her from putting the Chateau in Tierra’s name back when she was playing musical chairs with whose name is on the title. Tierra is also the kid she denied having on the first season and introduced her as her friend. When Sheree takes the call from Kenya in the closet, I am busy trying to see if that is water damage in her closet. Maybe, maybe not. I promise you we will not get to see the basement. Kenya throws some shade to us saying that she would have sent Sheree’s invitation by horse-drawn carriage but she doesn’t know where she lives? A tent in the woods maybe?
Bob will be back to play the role of aggressive suitor, despite living with a woman who claims to be married to him.
Kenya’s Housewarming
Kenya’s house looks gorgeous and is full of Georgia granite that is beautiful. Cynthia talks with Kenya before the guests arrive. Kenya cries about Matt who sent apology balloons to her. Balloons. See? That right there is the problem.
There are tons of people at the housewarming and they parked on the street and a van took most people right to the door. Sheree on the other hand makes a huge production out of walking the driveway and then seems to be having hot flashes while taking to Cynthia who standing there cool as a cucumber. She goes to stand on the air conditioning vent. I should point out that last I heard her HVAC in her monstrosity was not working. Probably since the Great Flood of 2014 if it was ever installed at all. I hate Kenya’s white jumpsuit. It doesn’t fit her properly. Did she get bigger implants?
When Kenya talks to Sheree, they are polite at first but then Kenya says “It’s been a long, hard road. I can’t imagine what five years feels like.” And that sets Sheree off. She says it’s only been four years since she broke ground. Not true. She says this whole house is the size of her master suite. Sheree is so delusional. Then they talk about who all is invited. Kenya says Porsha is not because the last time they were together she beat down her former stylist in the alley. I wish we could see the artwork Kenya’s house. I really don’t understand the legal issues with showing artwork. I know there are some, it just doesn’t make sense to me.
We meet Lena who arrives with Kandi. It sucks to film the whole damn season and then get cut. Her scene is in here so I guess she is still a friend. Sheree throws all sorts of shade about Kenya having work to do. Girl, you better hope they CGI some appliances into your housewarming party.
By the time Phaedra and her THOT plus one arrive, it’s dark. This thing started at like 3 pm and it was June. As they are coming in, Kenya has pulled Kandi aside to speak with her upstairs. As she is walking downstairs with Kandi and Lena after the conversation we did not see, Sheree is whoo hooing and acting a fool because Porsha is there.
To be continued….
I was bored to be honest. I hope it gets better.
Also, I noticed Phaedra has a “governess”? Is that like a fancy name for a nanny/housekeeper?
OK this was the most boring season premiere ever. Say what u want about Nene, But she did HELP carry #RHOA esp her talking heads. Sheree tried with her talking heads tho.
And can Cynthia please go. Getting a divorce from Peter is such a lame storyline. I’m sure next season will be their “reconciliation”.
Oatmeal is more exciting than Cynthia’s storyline. And I love me some oatmeal
A governess is actually what white people use to call the black maid after slavery. It’s like she’s a nanny, cook, housekeeper, assistant ALL of it. She governs the household when Phaedra can’t.
A governess is a live-in teacher/tutor for elementary school children, usually girls. She is there to educate in both the academic and the social. She has little to no domestic duties. A nanny is there for the nurture and everyday personal needs of the children. A housekeeper runs the fixed operations of the household and may include shopping, cleaning and laundry, maybe a meal. My early years were spent in London where we had a housekeeper, nanny and gardener. My mother would be considered bi-racial. No one in her family were slaves or owned slaves, nor did my father’s. Unless you want to call living under the boot of the Crown for 400 years a form of slavery. The Irish certainly considered it so. His parents were from Co. Cork. More on topic, I found the behaviour of Phaedra and the Queen of Thotland disgraceful. If Phaedra ever tries to run for political office, that episode would be a great addition to the laundry list of sins this woman has committed. Her opponents would have a field day tearing her comportment and credibility to shreds. Is Sheree that ignorant as to think that the viewers believe that BS she is trying to sell about her Shiteau? Kandy looked good on WWHL, but I haven’t watched the whole show yet. Kenya’s house is gorgeous and I can’t wait to see it completely furnished. Cynthia is meh and I don’t need to spend a minute more with her scoundrel of a husband. Bring on the newbies, because if this is a season of how low can P and P go, I’m out.
Shiteau Sheree, love it!
?
Yes, it is. Phaedra will always be an old money, southern white lady in her mind. She’s a legend in her own mind.
Ugh. Phaedra’s pretentiousness knows no bounds.
How many season premiere’s are we gonna see Phaedra and Porsha talking about the same thing In the kitchen while she’s making something. Other than Kandi and Kenya, I’m really not looking forward to anything else honestly but Marlo, Hazel and glimpses of Lena since she wasn’t ratchet enough to get a peach.
Huh uh. Not a Speak N Spell.
Cynthia! Cynthia! Do not do this to yourself, girl! Be HONEST! It was not YOU that was to blame. It was your cheating, scumbag husband!
Do not assume all of the blame. He will only agree with you. Cheaters (in my experience) never believe they are at fault. SET HIM STRAIGHT. Then, take him for every penny. MAKE HIM PAY!
This is maybe Cythia’s way of taking the high road? But I agree with you Cat. She doesn’t have to take the high road and flagellate herself both at the same time. Sheesh!
There’s a difference between taking the high road, and being a martyr.
I took it as Cynthia trying to save face by saying the divorce was her idea. Unfortunately her whole courtship and marriage was displayed on this show. Wish her the best.
I can already tell you I’m gonna miss Nene.
What would Nene have done differently other than raise hell. I rather enjoyed this episode.
Interesting recap. TT thanks for the awesome job. I was waiting to read the recap before i decide on what scenes to watch or fast forward.
I was pleasantly surprised that there were no huge fight scenes and minimal shade minus Kenya and Sheree who seems to have an umlaut now attached to her name. #Pretentious
That baby Ace is the cutest thing ever! Phaedras boys are getting so big too! Whomever is raising them is doing a good job with the manners. Cynthia seems so dejected, Peter if your motive was to break her self esteem, job well done. Thot is fake as ever, agree not buying the bullied story. Nene who?
Same here. If anything the show was better for her not being on it be loud and obnoxious.
My question might be a bit out of topic but can anyone explain why do they often have to blur the logo of a device or even details/ words or slogans on the outfits? Thanks.
They never used to do this. Then they all started charging companies to show their logos and Brand names. They blur everything that they are not paid to show. Now a days, every brand you see on the shows has paid the show for you to see it. You can blame apple for this. Someone marketing genius working there started providing macs for free for all of the major TV shows making it look like everyone used a Mac. The top of the lap top lights up with the logo. This forced IBM and others to offer big bucks to use their product on set instead. All of this leads to where we are today.
Thanks!
Yep. Bravo sort of has a rep in the ad game for having the most product placement in the TV industry. I was irritated when I first saw Teresa’s new Lexus, but then I saw the logo and remembered, “Product Placement, By Bravo.”
Not for cars, JrLeaguer, the housewives have to work that out on their own, or committ fraud and hide money under the mattress, or whore themselves out if they want to go the traditional route.
The following is an earnest question: Was that dirt/dust on Sheree’s staircase? Love Kenya, however, she should’ve waited until Moore Manor’s entryway was a bit more presentable. Best part of Kandi, her being centre HW in the group shot. Also, glad to see Cynthia finish Peter – thanks for the usual heads up, TT!!!
Porsha’s “therapy session” was identical to the one in “How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days!” I am sure “the therapist” was someone with, or hired by, production. And, he wasn’t buying Porsha’s donkey shit anymore than you or I, TT!!!
Gotta give it to them, Porsha-Phaedra are always good for… uh/ugh… suppressing the viewers’ appetites during dinner!!! If either of you read this, and I mean Phaedra (since Porsha is illiterate), you can market yourselves as a weight loss regime. And, you’re welcome for the idea!
That was under flooring – the stairs weren’t finished yet. I think. I could be wrong.
I’m sure that Kenya thought it would be done when she scheduled the party with production. Shit happens, especially in remodels!
So far I like the layout, from what I can tell (but are her bedroom closets on a different floor from the bedrooms? Certainly like it better than the monstrosity Chateau. Good lord.
Thanks, Erica – the parts along the wall & railing looked “cementy!” And, I agree there is no comparison between the House With Turrets & Moore Manor 😉
“Cementy” I loves it. Also a good word to describe Sheree’s alleged brain.
I’m feeling particularly bitchy tonight. I’ll go ahead and blame the PMS. It’s my right as a woman, GODDAMMIT!!! ☺️
The Château wasn’t finished. The stairs were not finished, railings and other things not done either. The house is STILL NOT finished today. Paper is still covering the windows.
WHERE IS NENE????? She would’ve had so much to say about Moore Manor honey the shade would’ve been EPIC
Yeah, exactly. But what about “The Chateau”? Shade-worthy or nah?
Hahaha, Minky!!!
What was there to say. Nene’s house is completed but empty and with her tax problems, what could she say without being pounced on.
Is it me or did the music they played in this episode feel like they borrowed it from Vanderpump Rules? Just seemed so out of place.
I am envious of Phaedra’s upper arms. I’m a man.
Trust me on violent men, if they take the time to stop thinking of themselves and kissing mirrors they walk by it ain’t because of you. it’s what other people might think that gives them pause. please run Kenya.
So I’m assuming that we are going to have an entire season of Phaedra and Porsha making cackling hyena noises and mugging for the cameras sticking their tongues out instead of articulating their thoughts with actual words. I think Phaedra pretending she was a Southern Belle who had to cover her ears and eyes from the harsh ghetto – ness coming from the other ladies, uh I mean heathens was preferable over the Too Hot To Trot Thot Twins. But Phaedra did look cute in her little delicate sun dress with her bulging biceps… Not !
You’d think that with ALL of that plastic surgery he had on her face and the tummy tuck she would have sprung for the little extra it would have cost to do a bit of lipo on those Navy Seal arms of hers. But no. Common sense eludes these women 99.99999% of the time.
What the diddly?!!! Aaaargh!
*she had on her face
TYPO! I swear to the Good Lord Jebus!!!
Minky my husband has been a police officer for 40 years and is now a Police Chief. He says that he can always tell when someone is trying to evade the truth when they start out by saying “I swear to God/Jesus.” Lol. Now I am sure you didn’t mean to do it but everybody was thinking it and do you think it might have slipped out by accident? LMAO.
Is it just me or is anyone else bummed that Lena isn’t a housewife or isn’t even featured as a FOH?? It would’ve been nice to have a fresh face on the show.
I feel the same way ?
The energizer bunny doesn’t have anything on Sheree. She was to turnt-up 3 minutes into filming. She needs to calm herself.
Cynthia – she doesn’t realize the blessing before her…to be rid of Peter. Pray we don’t have to watch her cry all season.
Phaedra – really. Such a sneaky chile. Still batting false eyelashes and lying to the camera.
Porsha…”why is she here Ike”….bwhaaaaa.
Kandi … Go ahead girl…she playing the hell out of that Happy Family role. Love it.
Kenya … I wished she had waited to throw her housewarming gathering. It is a nice home and it looks like she’s able to comfortably afford it. (Shade to Sheree). She knew those chicken-heads were going to walk in the door, nose turned up, shading.
That episode is the most boring, choppy, not-well-put-together rhoa episode I have ever seen. There was way too much emphasis on the mausoleums and not enough interaction among the women. The two who made the strongest impressions on me this episode are Cynthia and Porsha. First Cynthia. She has again shown us that she is pitifully spineless, delusional when it comes to Peter, and way too hard on herself. And she still doesn’t get that Peter is the taker in the relationship. When asked about alimony, she responded that SHE wasn’t seeking any as if it never occurred to her that Peter might be seeking it from her. I still think Nene is a horrible person, but Cynthia should have kept Nene’s friendship no matter what because she needs Nene, her polar opposite, to stand up for her. As for Porsha, that woman will lie about anything and everything. She was not the IT girl in school, but I don’t believe for a second that she was mercilessly bullied–just like I don’t believe that Kordell abused her or refused to have sex with her or that she is working towards anger management or that she really bought that huge home in Duluth, GA. I think Porsha forgets that there are some very vocal people from South Dekalb County who knew her long before RHOA. Or maybe she knows and just doesn’t care. Also, RHOA or something seems to be taking a toll on her physical appearance. She was so cute, svelte, and fresh looking during her first season. Now she looks like a worn out middle aged woman has been and she’s not even 40 years old. On the positive, it’s great to see her making her own way instead of being totally financially dependent on a man.
OMG! Please help! How do I delete or edit my comment? I do think what I posted about Porsha, but I realized I had gotten carried away and thought for sure that I deleted everything I wrote about her after saying she’ll lie about anything and everything. I am so embarrassed!
Pat, I have read much worse here. I actually agree with your OPINIONS.
Please also disregard my first response, Pat – I hadn’t read your second comment, at the time!
ROTFLMAO – SOMETHING is taking a toll on her & it ain’t NOT BEING FINANCIALLY DEPENDENT ON MEN, Pat!!! Her alleged job IS precisely what has taken alot out of her – it probably isn’t easy to be a woman for hire 🙁
Even though the episode was not the usual, I actually appreciated seeing their individual lifestyles again. Kenya’s home was more beautiful half finished than Sheree’s would ever be. Sheree is so desperate to be a break out star again on the show & keep those checks. Porsha is a lying thot. Phaedra is always making guacamole like that’s the only thing she knows how to do. Please God! Not another season of Cynthia being all about Peter & their relationship! I can’t take it! I absolutely love Baby Ace! ? He’s such a sweet, happy baby! I’m liking the interaction between husband & wife – Todd & Kandi too. I didn’t miss the braggadocio NeNe at all. Not her shade or endless bragging would have made anything better IMO.
They really need to get rid of Phadra. Her IS has dropped 20 points since hanging with Porsha the escort. I never much cared for Phaedra but I believed she was a smart woman. Three seasons ago Phaedra really had nothing to do with Porsha , now its the only friend she has to film with. Sheree was so obviously overjoyed at having a steady paycheck that she acted the complete fool. She has nerve saying anything negative about Kenya’s house after her ridiculous situation with her home. Her reaction when Porsha showed up at Kenya’s made her look like she was having a seizure. Way too over the top. As for NeNe. did not miss her over the top bragging and mugging a bit. I watched for 3 things, baby Ace, adorable, and to see the two houses. I enjoyed seeing all three. Doubtful I will continue to watch all season. I will most likely record it and skip over Porsha, Phadra and most of Cynthia. Their storylines are old and stale to me.
Her IQ.
I’d like to know who gave Cynthia this jacked up idea of what being a wife means. I can believe that she doesn’t think she’s cut out to be the wife she thinks she’s supposed to be, but that’s because she’s worth way more than that. I hope she meets a man who treats her right enough for her to get it.
Why did Sheree build that huge house on a postage stamp sized lot? Looks so out of place for that type of neighborhood. Love Kenya’s house and the wooded surroundings; so peaceful. Kenya and Sheree came out snarking right from the get go. Kenya keeps this show alive. Phaedra and Porsha are disgusting and have nothing going on that they can talk about. Don’t miss Nene one bit and doubt she saying she’s a “rich bitch” anymore.
So many giant homes near Sheree on small postage stamp sized lots
I did like seeing Ace.. but after that it was bad scripting.
Cynthia: Going to see and Attorney whose law firm name is not blurred. Then she asks stupid questions. Enough on that. The worst is when she calls Peter about her not being able to find
a copy of the pre-nup. Really? Honey..you forgot the name of the attorney who prepared it and then you are not going back to the same attorney to get the divorce? Unbelievable for so many
reasons. Oh and Peter never cheated.. How many kids does Peter have?
Moore Manor v. Chateau Sheree: WHo cares?
If you watch close, you can see that She by SheBroke’s hair in the closet scene is like in her talking head – dark roots with blonde tips. However, at the party it’s all dark, as was her hair around that time on social media during filming. More proof that they reshot scenes and sliced in footage of her home from the end of filming.
I just assumed it was a wig or hair piece.
BTW I agree about Kenya’s jumpsuit. She and Sheree- in her talking head were showing really extra boobage. Guess they were trying to compete with Porsha.
Holy Moley, Baby Ace is SO freaking cute! TT, I laughed out loud when you wrote that you thought Mama Joyce was at Chateau Sheree in that scene, because that is EXACTLY what I thought for a full minute first time I saw it! Zoinks! That is so NOT a good look on Sheree.
So I’m only into the first 11minutes of the episode, but I can’t believe how Sheree reminds me of season 1. I remember thinking, who on earth has that impression of themselves? It’s so funny how what she says about herself, I’ve yet to see anyone have such a false sense of superiority. 🙂 just my thoughts.
Now I’m 18 minutes in and cannot understand what Porsha and Phaedra are saying. A lot of animation, but is it me? Starting to worry.:)
I agree that this opening episode was boring, but it had a few high points for me, the baby & the houses. Baby Ace is adorable.
I was thinking that it would be a good idea for Sheree to sell that house once it’s finished. Then I saw the odd shaped rooms, probably not a great selling point . Either way I don’t understand how she can afford to build this house let alone furnish it and maintain it. The aircon alone would be pretty costly.
I do enjoy Sheree but she was definitely over the top when she saw Porsha coming in to Kenya’s party. I think she just kept making that funny noise because it kept the camera on her.
I do not miss Nene in the least. (funny, my voice recognition typed her name as meanie instead of Nene, Ha! Sooo true!) Poor thing is so interested in bragging & putting everyone else down. Has she ever have any other storyline besides that? I think that her 15 minutes might finally be up.
I didn’t watch, as I clipped my cable to save money and only have cable limited to 1 room, (which my boys have completely taken over). I have to wait for it to be downloaded onto my Firestick.
Thanks for the recap!
I’m not as excited to watch it now, sounds like it was a snooze fest.
How do you like firestick? I plan on getting one.
I LOVE mine! I haven’t cut the cord, but when I got an offer to get one for 15 bucks I got (I’ve been a Prime member for years, and was an early adopter of the Kindle)
I use to stream Netflix and Amazon Prime shows – works better than one of my older TIVOs.
I also take it on vacation with me sometimes. I do a yearly trip to the beach, and we love to watch movies or new TV shows at night (when it is too dark to see the ocean, and there isn’t much night life. Their cable TV reception usually sucks on some channels – but we can get wi-fi.
I know this is Kenya country here so I try to keep my opinions to myself. But if anyone else on that show would have had a housewarming party with their house looking a hot mess like that they would have been destroyed with comments. It’s not like she wasn’t told it was doubtful that it would be done. There was tons of work to be done. I agree the inside is going to be nice although I hate the upstairs his/hers closet idea. The outside looks like a cement box. Doesn’t look welcoming or homey at all. One of the things Kenya almost always gets right is her fashion style. I don’t know what happened last night. She made a comment at the party about nobody being there in thot wear yet she had half her boobs hanging out it looked awful. Hair and makeup flawless as usual. Cynthia though looked great the whole show. She slayed the Dianna Ross hairstyle. She is just gorgeous.
Despite choppy editing. I thought was a good kick off. Didn’t miss or even think of NeNe. I think it it would be even better without Porsha!
Facade and rust, mildew and must, the house that jackass built.
what was the song they played when Cynthia left her lawyers?