It’s a beautiful fall day here in Atlanta and I am desperately trying to pluck myself out of the crazy hole and enjoy it. Remember last week, when I mentioned I was hoping to get to Whole Foods? Well, I finally got there yesterday. Begrudgingly. It was not my happy place like it usually is. It was my ” what on earth did I need from here so desperately that I am actually here” place.
When I go to Paris, there is always this feeling of disbelief that lasts for the entire trip. Am I really here? Is this really happening again? On the ride over to Whole Foods I kept having to remind myself I was driving a car. I constantly told myself to focus on the road instead of the jumbled thoughts in my head. Once inside the store there was a feeling of “how did I get here?” similar to what I have waking up in a foreign country. Wonton wrappers were on sale and I had decided to thaw out a big, fat, Berkshire pork chop the night before. So I decided to make my egg roll thingies. I bought a couple of spicy pork sausages and some grated cabbage stuff that in a normal store would be called cole slaw mix but was called something else in fancypantsland. I plan to fill all 24 wrappers with some pork and cabbage concoction with perhaps a few vegetarian ones and freeze them in packs of two.
I also remembered why I have been wanting to go to Whole Foods in the first place. A friend, who has a vast culinary background, gifted me with a jar of her homemade sauce. I didn’t want to waste such great sauce on cheap pasta or add low quality meat. So I grabbed the fixings for that. One more fat sausage (mild Italian) and a pound of ground beef. The beef was on sale and there was one large end of the tray left. For some reason I took the rest of it which was just over two pounds.
Today, I halved my beef and made four quarter pound sized patties, wrapped them in wax paper so I could remove them one by one, and shoved them in the freezer. I stuck the other half into a baggie and put it back in. I then finished one other little cooking project I had going on that is too ridiculous to discuss. So today I need to complete two recipes and get everything parceled off and into the freezer.
I am not in the mood. And my kitchen looks worse that the stock photo image above. I think I will just sit here with my windows open and enjoy the fall air wafting through for a bit longer. What’s on your mind?
I”m terrible with food. I just pierce fork to ventilate before zapping. Or I skip it altogether. I have a superpower – I can skip meals for days and still put on weight. Also, yesterday morning I went downstairs without my glasses, not advisable for the post-menopausal ladies. I bent down to pick up some detritus from the floor. At best blurry guess it was a partially eaten red-foil wrapped truffle my beagle had purloined from my stash. Got right down on the rug with my face practically IN it, fingers extended to pick it up, when I realize not a purloined truffle. It was one half of a mouse, head to chest, mouth agape and eyes bulging, cleanly gnawed off at the abdomen. The other half? I was practically kneeling on it. I am not in the mood for CATS.
Oh my freaking gawd‼️
I am the owner of two scrappy cats and that stuff happens occasionally at my house too. And then I am not in mood for cats either.
When I read “truffle” and “beagle” I became worried that your doggie had consumed some chocolate. Whew!
Hey, at least your cats are earning their keep. Good for them! 😂
DaliaMama unfortunately your not the only one with that superpower I have it to. That was super hilarious by the way. But I also had a similar cat situation. Every year when it’s starts to get chilly outside I’ll get a couple of field mice as I live in the country. Well I was walking thru the house in my socks and stepped on something that was small and wet on my sock. It was my yearly present my kitty leaves me. I almost got sick taking my socks off that went immediately in the trash. But on the bright side I’d rather be throwing out the socks and dead mouse then standing on the bed screaming for my husband to come catch it cause it ran across the room.
OMG cheychey I have one of those stories. My sister-in-law was doing the dishes. She plunged her hands into the dish water, grabbed her scrubby thingy and started to wash a dish when she realized something wasn’t right. She lifted the scrubby thingy out of the water to find out it was a friggin dead mouse. L. M. A. O. !!!! She had filled the sink up with water hours before and a mouse had fallen in the water and drowned. She knew her scrubby was in the water and just grabbed what she thought was it.
Skeeter your story wins for the grossest one. I would die.
I have a stray cat that comes around, well two actually, but a white one that comes around every day. In fact he sits in the grassy area right above my parking space and waits for me every day around the same time. Occasionally I’ll give it something to eat, and sometimes he leaves me gifts as well on my patio. Once it was a birds wing, another time a half eaten mouse. Both pretty gross, but I hear it’s a sign of affection. I kind of wish it were a little less affectionate.
Also you had me laughing at your super power.
Omg! What is the deal with the plethora of mice/rat stories lately? It is bringing back memories of my giant rat drowning story from a few weeks ago. I cannot handle these stories! I think I have RPTSD (Rodent Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). The one down the thead of reaching into sink full of water grabbing mouse instead of scrubber was particularly distressing. I.Just.Can’t. with the rodents! I am reeling with heebie jeebies all over again!
There must be an actual diagnosis for this in the DSM!
#Rodentphobia
Just NOOOOO!!!! Cue panic attack.
I hope you keep commenting because this was rofl worthy. I haven’t had the mouse, just a bit of fluff I picked up and it was a spider.
DalaiMama, as I have stated before I am not afraid of a man with a gun. I have a couple myself. However I am terrified of spiders and mice/rats. They may not hurt me but will make me do backflips and turn into a ninja. My sweet black kitty who eats, sleeps, and gets petted decided she needed to earn her keep one day. She brought me a present (half of a mouse body) and laid it on the pillow beside my head. It was kind of like The Godfather movie. Fortunately my husband who knows that if I had awakened to that would have either had a heart attack or reached for the gun quickly crawled on the bed to retrieve the mouse carcass. I woke up as he was getting off the bed. His mistake was telling me what had happened. I dreamed about that shit for months lol. It’s kind of funny now. Naw I take that back. I’ll probably dream about it tonight.
I love cats. But the mousies creep meowt.
Last year, I had a bit of a mouse problem. Began with one that snuck in while I was filling bird feeders. Silly me, I felt sorry for it. It was too cold to send back outside….so I fed it. Yeah, I know. I’m a city girl. What do I know about mice?
Big mistake. He invited friends. I got rid of them one by one, using a no kill trap. The final one (Houdini) would not be caught. He was dealt with when the cats arrived.
A couple of nights ago, sitting in the dark, I thought they came back. I heard rustling. I looked to my left and to my right. Both cats were sound asleep. I was convinced I had another mouse, and began to panic.
Then, I realized my cat, Jesse, was swishing his tail in his sleep. It was hitting their half empty treat bowl. That was the noise I had been hearing.
What a relief!
I remember being told (when I worked at outsmart, from a customer), that cats only catch mice because they see them. They have no special sense, just if they happen to see it, will catch it. Kinda saddened my belief of Tom and Jerry. 🙂 🙂 Is there any truth to that?
My cats investigate noises. Sometimes.
I tried to POINT OUT the mouse to my cat, the one and only time I had one in my house. The cat looked at it – and walked away to get up on the couch for a nap. Bastard.
I was even willing to have it just go to the garage. No dice.
It was 9 oclock at night and I was packing to leave for vacation the next morning, and had no traps in the house. I had to get on the freeway to find a place that was selling traps. Took two stores.
I felt so bad for it – it was hiding under some wicker drawers in my kitchen. I almost captured it with a bowl, but missed. Had to use the snap traps – and then locked myself in my bedroom with my cat, and a towel up against a door in case it fit under it.
But the feral cats keep the mice and moles down at the office!
Holy hell. I am in menapause and I can’t see a damn thing without my readers. My family thinks it’s hilarious what I decipher with my non-glasses eyes. I’ve haven’t mistaken a truffle for a rat heads , but we have 3 cats, so there is still time.
I am working all day today but taking Sunday off to rest. I find that I only feel my best now when I hydrate so I am choking down water constantly otherwise I get muscle cramps, mood swings, and chronic fatigue. Aging ain’t for wimps…
This is why I spent $40 on three 1.5 liter cases of electrolyte water. I’ve had a full bottle since I woke up and already feeling better.
Cue all the ” You can make your own electrolyte water in a van down by the river! or try pedialyte or gatorade or some other sugary drink!” crowd.
Shiiiiiit. $40!!!! Good lawd that’s a lot of money! I bought mines off a crack head for $5. Good deal.
Hahahahaha!!! 🤓 You’re the best TT!
Did you get 36 1.5 liter bottles for five dollars? I rounded up a buck or two but a 1.5 liter bottle of smartwater for $1.12 is a steal and what keeps me going back to WF. Also, If I drink it up in a month it works better than any antidepressant I’ve ever tried. I think those were over a hundred bucks last time a took them. The water is a bargain.
R.o. or reverse osmosis water systems have saved my life and not to mention a zillion water bottles.
Emergen-c is a powdered vit.c and other vitamin mix that has electrolytes. With the weather change, that, and plain well water are keeping me upright.
I was kidding about the crack head. But it’s not really much of a stretch. In the area where I work there are always some shady characters on the street trying to sell stuff for “a real good price”, like “gold” chains, or battery packs and phone cards.
Unfortunately I’m not much of a water drinker. Which I should be, because I’ve had kidney stones in the past. Aaaaaaargh!!! But if it’ll do anything close to what you claim, I’m willing to give it a try.
We LOVE water with electrolytes. We stock pile too because we have two young children and we never know when they are going to bring home gross germs and take down the whole house! Lol
I had some mild lymopause Thursday. I am an avid exerciser and midway through workout, I felt distracted and had to totally concentrate. After my brain hurt!! Once I got home, I decided that with threat of rain (didn’t) and foggy head, that I couldn’t leave my house. I told my friends (who read here occasionally) that I was suffering from lymopause. They didn’t get the reference and said that sounds scary! Anyway, enjoy your beautiful weather TT!! Still blazing hot in Texas😫.
I am loving this cool down In Atlanta. The last 3 weeks of August weather was so No bueno! I dont cook a lot but hubby loves my juicy meatloaf so I made it for his birthday Tuesday. Not gonna discuss politics but Gawd I will be so happy when this election is over. So sick of the ads. My sympathies to certain other states like florida getting really bombarded with ads. TT since you are so extolling the love of electrolyte water, I feel I have to try it now. I will get to whole foods, I know I will. If you can with the way you have been feeling, I have no excuse. Feel better btw. Not gonna stay with housewives of Atlanta, but gonna tune in for Moore Manor and Sheree’s house. Oh and I wsnt to see Ace, Kandi’s cute baby. Other than that, not interested. Married to Medicine looks insane, close those curtains indeed Quad lol.
OH, your Married to Medicine mention made me remember a new show listing I saw on my program guide. “Married to Medicine, HOUSTON” starts Fri., Nov 11. IDK if it’ll keep that Friday nite slot or move to a better day, but it’s on that unusual nite, at least for the premiere.
As a native Houstonian, they have been promoting the crap out of this for a while. I’m from a medical family & have never heard of any of the cast members with one exception: the plastic surgeon Dr. Rose. He is the father of Erica Rose (aka “Tierrica” of The Bachelor franchise)
I will NOT be watching this. Any reputable physician would not be on this show. IMO it is a complete joke. Plus, I am not supportive of any BRAVO shows anymore! No thank you! IJS
I bought 3 packs of large wonton wrappers that were half off this week. Since I’m a veghead I’ll make a cabbage.rice. veggie eggrolls. I need to make space in my freezer to chill them before frying.
Volunteered at my FairTrade shop this morning & excited we made over $500 in 3 hours. This week, i spent my time knocking on doors, making calls & delivering signs. I’m tired. With the CUBS winning this week, life got much easier here in Illinois.
Dear God, SaraSally! I just guestimated my wonton pack having 24 wrappers but that is such a monumental task I will probably spread it out over two day because I have just over two hours until I promised myself a movie date with my imaginary friend on Twitter who I think is in a whole nuther time zone. LOL. I may start a post about the movie for discussion only if I have time.
The meat is browned, the tasty sauce is simmering with the meat, I probably won’t eat until much later tonight. I may or may not go ahead and cook the chop in some way. And stuff my eggrolls tomorrow. I bake mine so they aren’t really crunchy like eggrolls. I don’t know what they are but I know they don’t last long in my house. So easy to pull two out and warm them in the oven.
The reason that I picked up so many wrappers is that I wanted to try dessert recipes with them. That’s where baking comes in, although I really should consider stepping up my healthy eating habits & forego frying.
Oooooh! Desert egg rolls! Sounds yummy. I’m imagining apple pie or cheesecake flavors. Or a little rolled up baklava!
I LOVE egg rolls!
I recently saw a recipe for avocado egg rolls. Avocado, red onion, sun dried tomatoes with cilantro and lime juice. Fried in an egg roll wrapper. Yum!
Im having another brain bleed which means I shouldn’t interact with people or the internet because I know I am not rational or of sound mind. However, I got home from the hospital and realized no one gave my service dog his meds or insulin shots. (My mom’s a surgeon, so it wasn’t needle phobia or whatever excuses my sister tried to give me.)
I also have impacted kidney stones and was dehydrated. I have been nauseous and vomiting nonstop, so it wasn’t a surprise… yet, I still have to hear lectures on staying hydrated from my mom as if it was by choice and I’m not 38 years old. I feel like no one even listens to me because I’m in a hemorrhage and therefore thought to be “crazy.” I really empathize with people who have been labeled mentally ill or incompetent.
Oh yeah, my whole point was to post congratulations on being so productive! I used to always prepare yummy food and snacks before I got high on edibles. I’d be feasting, high as shit, and thanking sober shay for the lookout.
@Shay, glad to hear from you but sorry to hear of your troubles. I was wondering where you have been and was worried about you! Sending healing thoughts and (HUGS) xo
I’m sorry you have to go through that Shay. I miss your posts too. Take care of yourself and try to relax as much as possible.
Sorry to hear this, Shay. Sending you good vibes and a prayer.
Hey Shay, happy you’re back & wishing you great things!!!
Geez, that sounds terrible Shay. On top of it, feeling that you’re not being, “heard” is really frustrating and stressful. I’m sending good vibes your way and hope you’re on the mend. Cheers
Thanks for all your well wishes! Yesterday I had to concentrate and try to account for my time and my whereabouts for the past 3 days. I hope no one got murdered because I don’t have an alibi or memory for several hours… And I can’t find my car:/
Shay, can offer sending you lots and lots of good thoughts !!
Shay, I hope you start feeling better soon. Hard to stay hydrated when puking
I guess with the bleed lithotripsy is out of the question.
Also, my garden has the stupid fungus again this year that made my tomato yellow from the bottom up. I gave up on them months ago. We haven’t had rain in months.
And yet I have 6-8 green tomatoes out there two or three plants are still flowering! But they are not ripening. I picked a big one and put it in my kitchen window yesterday, but I am not sure we have enough sunlight left for them to turn. We shall see.
I was skimming a bit of the fat off the sauce. The beef was 90/10 which is why the sausage was necessary, but apparently that quarter pound sausage and the perhaps too much olive oil I cooked some onion in was more than I thought. So I skimmed off a three or four oily edges of sauce, added some water and poured it over his kibble. I have never seen him lick the bowl before. He loved it.
Oddly I thought, is this too much oil for a dog? But never is this too much oil for me…
A serving of fatty oils will make Big Dogs have Slimey Logs. Have fun cleaning the yard! 😱
Honey I dont’ clean the HOUSE, and the Yard is all his.
They can take some oil. On cheap dry dog foods oil is sprayed on food which is why dogs often prefer taste of cheap food(similar to fast food). However onions can be toxic to dogs & cats. No more onions, it is fine in tiny amounts such as last ingredient as in flavoring but definitely never give any. As other poster said you will know if it was too much oils by the runs.
Onions are poisonous for dogs, but I don’t imagine just having some of the grease they cooked in would hurt. Apparently, it gives them some kind of anemia. I love egg rolls. Before my husband got Alzheimers we would make about 60 of them at a time. I’d cook the pork/veggies and roll the wrappers, then he would fry them and line them up on paper towels. Beyond yummy! Mine never stayed crispy for long either, but we didn’t care – they were delicious hot or cold. My family seemed to have a sixth sense as to when we were cooking them – funny how that works. Enjoy all that good stuff, Tamara!
Banjo is 80 pounds, he eats garlic and onions! GASP! Most of those rules are for purse dogs. Amazingly, back in the days before the Internet dogs knew what to eat. Sometimes I get the runs too…
LOL
Ok now I am craving egg rolls! Maybe I’ll treat myself to a drive through the Panda tomorrow.
I have never made them, but every year I swear that I am going to make them for Chinese New Year. At the Asian market they sell roast duck. I think that would be good for the stuffing mixed with veggies. (They will cut the head off if asked.)
I dont eat duck except on the lunar new year. You must get baos (soft, fluffy, semi-sweet buns), duck sauce, and green onion. Its like a duck hamburger.
The bao melts in your mouth, then you get a little sweet tang from the plum sauce, bite from green onion and savory crispy duck. So yummy! I have chinese friends who bring their turkey to the Peking BBQ shop and they make Peking Turkey for $1/lb. They get the baos and sauce there, too. It sounds tempting, but thanksgiving is my fave and I love to make it American-style.
PS the shop will cut the duck up for you, too.
I love the daily teas. I feel the same way about whole foods, it is a wonderland. I have learned that paying more for quality works. Some foods you can go cheap, but not produce, and not the little bit of meat you can eat every week.
I never skimp on the olive oil. Virgin or otherwise.
Do any of you have an Earth Fare yet? We got one a few weeks ago, and I am hooked. Spent some time there Saturday night and bought lots of pre-made meals home for the family. Great store
Fresh Market is much closer to me. Does anyone know how it compares to Whole Foods? Can I get that electrolyte water there as well?
I have both in my city, and oddly enough two of each. It’s been a while since I’ve been to either, but I recall them being fairly similar with Whole Foods having the larger selection including prepared foods, but some the prepared items in The Fresh Market are quite good indeed. I think most grocery stores sell alkalized water now especially the ones which tend to cater to the upwardly mobile like both The Fresh Market, and Whole Foods franchises. Also The Fresh Market has a better beer, wine, and liquor selection I think. In the one I go to every once in a while they have their entire second floor dedicated to it with a more upscale eating area than Whole Foods. There prices seem to be better than Whole Foods as well. Overall though they seemed fairly comparable to me.
Tamara, I know exactly what you mean about Paris!! I really get that feeling of “how did I get here” when 1 hour after my arrival, I’m on the Metro or shopping at Monoprix. I’m going again Dec 16th…can’t wait to be “puzzled”! Have a great weekend with all the cooking projects. :o)
I was there last Christmas. (awaits collective gasps) It was a different experience as it was close after the bombing but life was going on as usual. I was horribly depressed and riddled with anxiety and the bombings only made things worse. I went for about a week and a half and did very little touristy stuff, but had a NYE I’ll never forget as the best ever.
I’m so jelly!!!
I just went to an Ina Garten show last weel.Interview style on stage. She is obsessed with Paris. One of the Q & A’s asked her what she brings home after a trip to Paris. She mentioned some famous speciality food store that had the best shortbread cookies, and she brings back lots of packages. Ina said she ate a whole box watching the last debate. That’s when I knew we could be best friends.
I always go to Whole Foods for produce & meat & the good water. What kills my bank account is the prepared stuff like the pre-cut fruits. This week I’m addicted to the prepared fruit tub of pomegranate seeds with blueberries…high in antioxidants and delicious snack all by itself! (Also great mixed in salads, etc.)
P.S. Another guilty pleasure I buy at Whole Foods is the bath bombs. They are cheaper than the ones at the regular stores that sell them. They are all handmade in Texas with organic ingredients, but sell them in most Whole Foods across the country. They have all kinds of scents, and muscle relaxing ones. When really stressed, a hot bath with one of these bath bombs is awesome! “Calgon, take me away” has nothing on these or the handmade soaps and bath salts from same company! Whole Foods is my happy place. The bakery there is to die for, too! 😊
This weekend, if we cross our fingers and the moon and stars align, will be my last one in over a month without a functioning kitchen. In September we gutted the kitchen, laundry, mud-room and part of the dining room. Super talented hubster has done all of the work except plumbing. New cabinets were finished Tuesday of last week, granite installed Saturday, 4 days ahead of schedule, and our runaway plumber finally finished his work on Thursday. Appliances are supposed to get installed on Monday, but I don’t completely trust a company whose phone asks you to “please wait for the manager of joy fulfillement” to assist you…cross fingers for no more washing dishes inthe bathtub and making arroz con pollo in the microwave!
I have to say how much I enjoy this flipping blog. TT makes me laugh out loud, and your faithful commenters do too!
Omg I wish we could post photos here sometimes, because of what I got at Whole Foods today. They were giving out samples and I always eat the samples and never buy them. Today I bought BOTH samples. You guys have to get this. It’s cheap and I swear it’s positively delicious and healthy. My favorite snack is chips and dip, which I obviously can’t eat because of how bad it is. I found a substitute as delicious. Get yourself a box of 34 crisps, which are only $4.99. They are so thin and crunchy, no fat , low carb, low calorie. Get one of the Picnic Gourmet Yogurt Cheese spreads. I got the Tamdoori Garlic and it’s an orgasm in a container. Dip the crisps in there and you can eat the whole box, guilt free! I also got a bag of shaved brussel sprouts and a bottle of California Roasted Garlic Cold Pressed Olive Oil, the only pricey item. Dump the bag of sprouts in a pan on the stove and cover it with the olive oil, salt and pepper. Saute for about 12 minutes and voila! I swear it’s heavenly. You can get creative and add in shrimp or pasta too, if you like. You can probably substitute the brussel sprouts for Kale, spinach, escarole or cabbage. You ladies can thank me later!!
I roast brussel sprouts and kale the same way, in fact I have some organic baby spinach, cherry tomatoes, and walnuts roasting right now. 🙂
I will look for the crisps next time I’m at WF..thanks for the heads up!
@Jenn, with your baby spinach, you MUST GET the California Roasted Garlic cold-pressed Olive Oil !! It’s pricey but you don’t have to dice up garlic cloves or anything else. There is so much in that olive oil, no preservatives, all fresh ingredients. Just pour it on your spinach and saute. You will be addicted! There is fat in olive oil, but it’s all good fat that burns off.
Orgasm in a container. Yum, I’ll have to try it. I never feel bad about eating roasted veggies, and low calorie, flavorful dips are always welcome.
You ladies make sure you get the box of crisps. Tey are called 34 degrees. I can’t find the darn degrees circle on my keyboard! They come in plain, which I got, whole wheat, rosemary and some other kind. The picnic Gourmet yogurt cheese spreads also have four different kinds! I swear by the Tandoori Garlic, but I am going to try the other three. I should have tried them all from the sample table but I didn’t want to look like a piggy.
Tell that to the people at my local Costco. Unlike you, they have no manners or shame whatsoever. Every time they serve samples it turns into a stampede and then a bottle neck. And all for one little cube of cheese!!!
BTW: You’re WF haul sounds amazing! I need to get those crisps and the yoghurt cheese.
@Minky, you will be totes addicted. 34 degrees is a brand and they make the crisps which are better than potato chips, and I have a love affair with potato chips. The picnic yogurt cheese spread are in the cold section where they keep their homemade cream cheese, which is also good, but not as good as the spreads. Try the Tandoori Garlic and tell us what you think. I swear you will go back and buy 10 more!!
Imagine going to a Costco in Heaven’s waiting room, Central Florida. My local Public is right next to a huge retirement village. They had to quit doing the Thanksgiving Dinner sampling they would do the day before Thanksgiving, because the line would be out the door. “If it’s free, it’s for me.”
Publix
I was one of the few people that had a Costco card in college. (late 80s, early 90s – my parents had a corporate account which gave them several cards at that time, and I did supply runs in the summer at work)
Sometimes if lunch was crappy in the dining hall or we missed lunch, and we were all broke – we’d go and hit the Costco during prime sample hours. LOL.
Have you ever tried shopping at night, TT? Whole Foods is only a few blocks from me but I hate going there because of the crowds. I went tonight and basically had the place to myself. My Mom has been on me to get cold pressed flax oil, so I picked some up along with some prepackaged veggie meats that I’m too lazy to make myself.
Other than that I have just been working. I absolutely love my new job..I can’t possibly say that enough. We have our own gym, cafe, coffee stations everywhere AND we can dress casually on any day when there isn’t any clients or perspectives visiting. Plus everyone is as nice to me as they are to people who have been there for years. It was totally worth the wait.
Congrats JustJenn what do you do? I’m in middle
Of career transition and gathering information and ideas…
I have Election Distress Syndrome. I am going offline until the Night of Horrors that is Nov. 8th. Otherwise, I may have to hurt someone.
Later.
Stay in your tree, perched high, because there is supposed to be fighting at the voting sites. There is even more scary talk that I’m not even going to utter because I don’t want to put it in the atmosphere.
I so wish I could join you. I am wondering if you are the damn cat that sometimes plays with me on Twitter, because I had a bit of fun tonight. I kind of felt bad because it was not an intellectually fair discussion. But I was very nice. Sort of.
I avoid Twitter. Wasn’t me.
A little over a year ago I was stressing about buying a new home and selling it. Now my husband is without a job. Severance runs out just before Christmas and I am freaking out. Everyone keeps saying it will work out. But my anxiety is so high and I have to hide it from my two young boys. To top it all off my mom won’t speak to me because we were busy with house and I didn’t visit her much this summer. She doesn’t drive freeways and lives 45 minutes from my house. I have always tried to help her as much I can and called her multiple times a week. I could use her right now and it sucks. Prod of you TT for getting out to Whole Foods!
Oh Mama, I’m so sorry. You have two months to come up with a game plan, honey. If you need help, don’t be shy about applying for government help. Your family are people who have worked hard your whole lives and you deserve help. They will pay for your utilities, like gas and electric, and food expenses. I’ve never used it myself, but if I ever fall on hard times, I will absolutely go! You can also look for work online, so you can get paid without having to leave your home. Write your Mom a letter and tell her exactly what you told us. Good luck, dear.
Thank you. Unfortunately with some email contact she is aware but still doesn’t want to talk. We will be fine. Thankfully I have a good job. But I am scared nonetheless. I have panick attacks and no matter what I do I just can’t stop them.
I would love the crack LisaPat is smoking like we live in socialist China. All you rich folks who think… oh fuck never mind.
Hahaha OK Miss I spend my xmases in Paris, France!!
I’m sorry things are hard with your Mom right now, is she just not taking your calls or is it a mutual not talking? I can’t even imagine not talking to my Mom, I really hope things work out for your family.
Sadly not mutual at all. I would like to talk with her. But she is focused on her pain rather than my stress.
OMGoodness, MamaZ. It certainly sounds as if you have a full plate right now.
I have no wise words, but I will be thinking of you. Wishing you peace and solutions.
MamaZ, I know how scary that must be for you. And the timing sucks with the holidays. I don’t like to give advice in real circumstances but I will you, I wish I had been kinder to my parents. And gone to see them more. Even though when they were alive I just wanted them to leave me the fuck alone most of the time. I was dealing with a lot of stuff and they just made it worse. If I could go back and drive the 45 minutes to see my mama I’d do it all day every day. Getting old sucks and one day you will realize that driving on the highway is scary as fuck for older people with slower reflexes. And your eyesight goes bad WAY sooner than you think, and your kids will grow up and it will all make sense, But by then it will be too late. Go take the boys to your mama.
^^THIS^^
Boy oh boy, I am saying more and more, “if I only knew then, what I know now”, TT, so accurate. I’m just trying to tell my 30yr old daughter and 20yr old son, that what I tell them, one day they will understand and say Ohhhhh 🙂 xo
I regret not visiting and was going to go when she told me not to. She asked for her key back and told me not to call and she will email when she is ready. I have emailed and apologized and told her how I was feeling. She said she was sorry to hear that and that was it. Not sure where to go from there.
MamaZ — I’m so sorry this is happening, my mom did this to me this summer. Like yours, she expects a lot of direct contact and if someone interrupts when we’re on the phone, she is personally affronted. It gets so confusing because who knows what the rules of conduct are when she moves around the rulebook on me!!
All I could do was talk to friends, breath and wait her out. I continued as if things were still good; I emailed stories to her that I’d normally email. I called and left a voicemail after the first week of silence and just said I was checking in, hoped she was good and that I loved her. Just subconscious little bits to remind her that I was STILL her girl and would be here when she was ready. Even if I hurt her unintentionally.
She caved just shy of 3 weeks and she never addressed it or how it hurt. But if she’d wanted to talk, I was ready. I used that time of quiet btw us to think about how I’d do it differently.
So sorry MamaZ, it sucks.
MamaZ – is there a sibling (yours) or an aunt or uncle (yours – her siblings) that could help bridge things?
I’m lucky I have both parents – work with them even, which is its own set of issues (a close friend just called me a frickin’ saint). But I’ll ask you what I have asked people in similar situations (tense relationships with bio-parents). If you found out that she had died suddenly, would you feel guilt or regret… and would you think of something that you could have done to reach out or mend fences.
Frankly, the same questions need to be posed to your mother, but she’s not on this board.
What would your mother do if you just showed up with your kids and her favorite dessert?
Thank you TT. I know you don’t usually give it, so I appreciate your advice. Any other time I would deal with it. I know deep down she loves me and hope she knows how much I love her. Once I can get my breath and deal with the job situation, I will reach out to her. When she had a heart attack a few years ago, I was there and told her I was not ready to lose her then and I am still not. I just wish she would understand a little more.
I’m so sorry.
Yeah… the assistance part isn’t as easy as LisaPat thinks (with all due respect to LisaPat). You said severance – will he qualify for unemployment? Or is that the same thing?
Good luck…. and I hope your mom and the job market for your hubby turns around.
Thank you all for your comments. We are hopeful my husband may be offered a job. He had a second interview and it went well. He was told they were interested and were just waiting on something from corporate. I will find a way to work things out with my mom. I love her so and would be devastated if I lost her without one last hug. My only sibling and closest relative is my estranged brother. He was/is a drug addict and has stolen from us so many times. She will take his calls when they come, which is rare. I got the message loud and clear when she told me. I just wish it hadn’t gone so far. I will go there once my husbands job situation is figured out. I just can’t tackle both at the same time. I am struggling to hold it together with my anxiety. I won’t bring the boys because they are old enough to sense an awkward situation and don’t want them in the middle of it or to even know.
While I have friends who seem to be addicted to this election and suffer as Cat mentioned.. EDS..
The only channel I will be checking is Bloomberg.
I work saturdays most if the time, I do hair… I went out after work so I am a little tipsy so bear with me. We love change, we love to give new looks to our clients.. We LOVE this. A longtime friend and client who I have done her hair since she was in high school texted me picture 2 weeks ago. She is a natural medium blonde, she wants caramel… we have foiled blonde for years and she has a ton of hair, oh and the underneath is curly and the top layer is straight. So the pics are caramel and she also wants a long A-line bob. Cue panic… she is a friend, in real estate and this is a drastic change that could scar each of us… just kidding. If we do this wrong it will not be good, I fretted for 2 weeks, had a game plan, a color formula already in my head immediatly… second and third guessed myself over the weeks. She shows today and I tell her my thoughts, show her what i am thinking and she says she trusts me. I have 26 years experience but every now and then we panic, self doubt, whatever you want to call it creeps in. I dove in like nobodies business. It turned out beautiful, the color was rich, had dimension and was so vibrant. She was in love! I guess the point is we all have fear, even of the known, we want to be perfect, and we want perfect results and all my fretting was for naught….
So glad it all worked out for you!
thank you, I stressed myself out for nothing. I think we all do that. Although I need to get on the preparing food ahead and freezing bandwagon… so much easier I think
You can do it! One step at a time. 😉
Had bonfire with good family & friends. The great outdoors and unseasonably warm.
Killed my Bravo habit by marathoning an incredibly good and super addictive Australian TV show — OFFSPRING — on Netflix. it is SO GOOD. Watched all 5 seasons during stressful time and stopped watching Housewives!
Stressing about old fool (80) I have been dating well over a year. We are compatible in many ways–both widowed several years, education, travel, books, music, cultural events, importance of family. He is darned serious, but I am not feeling the spark, & mostly enjoy living alone these days. I know it makes sense to join forces at our age to help each other as needed, but I was very independent in my 45-year marriage & the idea of being joined at the hip with anyone is giving me cold feet. I also feel a loyalty to my late husband like that of my widowed friends, none of whom have remarried. Have even tried self-hypnosis, but can’t drum up appropriate feelings for gentleman caller. Advice?
You cannot invent spark, but you can have a discussion with him about how you do feel. Yes joining forces is smart for many reasons, but it could also be that he is “forcing” his stuff also for the very same reasons. Wanting a companion is great, doesn’t mean you have to have that type of intimacy. He could also be wanting a companion and thinking that you want a “lover” for lack of a better term. Have that conversation with him. The feelings of loyalty are admirable and should not be ignored, but they shouls also not keep you from moving on if that is what you decide to do at a later date. And some of your friends may be doing that because they are fearing what is out there and it is easier to hold on to what once was and what could be. Good luck and sending you happy thoughts
My widowed friends & I are not afraid to love again; I think we all had satisfying loves that still fulfill us. We sometimes miss having a companion for dinner or to share opinions or a good laugh, but our biggest feeling is that, in spite of our age, we are unwilling to settle for less than getting our socks knocked off. Dating is awkward at any age, but there is no real fear.
I have been a widow for several years and there is no fear of what is out there, I am just not interested in starting again.
Don’t feel guilty for not feeling something that is not there. We all deserve to be with those we truly love. If you are happy with your life, why settle?
MizGrandma, you mentioned that you had a good 45 year marriage and feel a loyalty to your late husband. I am 59 and still married to my soulmate. If something was to happen to him, I’m pretty sure that I would have a very hard time finding someone else that would make me want to remarry. For me it’s since I have had the best why settle for the rest. I understand you enjoying having someone to date but also your hesitation to marry when the spark is not there. If the spark is not there, it’s just not there. Maybe you need to have a talk with this man and explain how you feel.
Tamara (or anyone), does electrolyte water have a taste that differs from plain water?
I am worn out tired tonight. I had a three hour “nap” after dinner, so now sleep is out of the question. I got my puppy after all. Her name is Peaches after the great state of Georgia. The folks who gave her to us are from there. She’s a Yorkie and is ever so busy! She is really just precious. It is clear to me why nature puts an age limit on becoming a mother.
Have a great week, Everyone. I always love reading the open forums and learning more about each of you.
Hi my fellow psuedo Libyan! xo. I am not sure why this electrolyte water is always a big deal. Electrolytes are necessary for your body to work right. Being hydrated also helps prevent a trip to crazy land. It doesn’t taste like anything. It’s just water. But it also has electrolytes lik epotassium, calcium, phosphate and magnesium. I’ve read things like “anything you drink other than water further dehydrates you” and for me that is true because I drink adult beverages and caffeinated sugar drinks to access.
I have no idea if other people feel better drinking electrolyte water. The major brand is SmartWater. I made SO MUCH FUN of my slightly older female friend for drinking it all the time when we shared classroom space. “How dumb do you have to be to drink SMARTWATER I would say, and she would tolerate me and try to explain. I never really paid attention. It’s not a miracle cure for anything. I am not paid by the 365 electrolyte water people. I can only say I feel A LOT better, and saner when I drink it. It’s JUST WATER basically with some beneficially electrolytes that don’t taste like anything. It’s water. It makes ME feel better to drink it in large quantities. Your mileage may vary.
Your talking about it, got me to choose over Dumb Water (sorry, couldn’t resist), at the convenience store once. I plan on checking it out tomorrow at the grocery store cause Lord knows, can’t hurt!!
I need to try this water. I like things like Gatorade but don’t like the added sugar.
Peaches is an adorable name, Margarett. xo
I didn’t know where to put this comment, so here seems okay. The other day I was really curious about your dog Banjo.(I’m weird like that, random thoughts). So I put Banjo in the search box and Omgosh Tamara, that adorable pic and post Banjo Tattles came up. Banjo is one handsome guy!!! 🙂 xo
Margarett – Trader Joes has an electrolyte water (with kind of blue and green design logo on the bottle) that I swear tastes “soft”. There is a mouth-feel to it that I like better than some other waters and I’ve tried alot. Bad for the pocketbook but lets me feel like I’m getting healthy.
My Traders Joes quit selling their electrolyte water because they were changing I think to Alkaline water instead. Alkaline water no different from regular water when it comes to benefits.
Fudge. Will have to check next time and see if thats happened here already.
Thank you, spy and Tamara. I am just learning to be a water drinker. It’s really nice to not have a coffee cup in my hand every waking moment,
Sorry, split. Auto correct strikes again!
Oh good grief! I do know your name S P K
I had a lazy day. I woke up late then around 6 ish went to pick up a prescription and fast food chinese. Got home ate and fell asleep watching a movie. I woke up and took my small dog out for a walk around 11 PM. Just walking him near my house. I walked him on the side of my house and was about half way to the corner when I heard four gun shots. I picked up my little guy and ran back into my backyard and closed the gate and went back inside. A couple of minutes later I heard sirens and walked back outside to see what was going on. All I saw was a firetruck and ambulance go towards the direction of the gun shots. I stayed outside and saw that there were also several police cars there. I still don’t know what happened, it’s just kind of frightening to know that this happens frequently day or night and anyone just minding their own business can get caught up in a random violent situation just by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Scary times we live in. And also want to say that I really am needing some egg rolls and need to go to a Whole Foods tomorrow for some awesome snacking suggestions. Definitely going to try the “chips and dip” suggestions and going to get the olive oil. I just live TT ‘s blog and everyone that shares here.
I have had a lot of you guys tell me that you are over um,… 40 and newly single and looking for a place to move. I regret I don’t know your names only your names you use here. Anyway if you are looking to move somewhere, anywhere, other than where you are maybe we could go together? Just email me and we’ll talk. Subject line “lets MOVE!”
Wow, how fun and exciting! Your fortunate that you are able to do that. I’m sure a few of us are a tad envious. Such an exciting position to be in. I think all commenters should put on our Private Investigator hats, and what is it called ? Vetting? 🙂 xo
We love bringing in strays for Thanksgiving. My middle son has a condo in mid-town Atlanta within walking distance of Georgia Tech and has had an interesting assortment of roommates, usually foreign grad students. Last year we had an Italian guest. This year he is bringing his French roommate. I’d love to add something French to my menu. I just remembered I have frozen Chanterelle paté in my freezer. Any other ideas?
A classic beouf borgenioun (beef stew w red wine, no potatoes or carrots, add sautéed mushrooms and bacon 10 min before serving) is fairly easy and impressive – I like barefoot contessas recipe best. A coq au vin (I make mine with bone in chicken pieces and red wine) is good – nigella Lawson has a recipe variation of the classic with boneless chicken thighs and reisling which is phenomenal.
For my money though, I’d go with the classic croque monseuir- grilled ham and Swiss cheese (gruyere is best but gets expensive. I’ve had the cheese counter make various recommendations and they’ve all been pretty good). Griddle the ham and Swiss cheese sandwiches in advance (can leave this at room temp for quite awhile) with a bechamel (white gravy) simmering. 15 minutes before serving cook at 425, sandwiches in baking dish, bechamel on top, sprinkled w more cheese. Broil for a minute or two if desired. I like it served with a vinegary salad to cut the richness
Toni, not to be an asshole, but Coq au Vin is rooster not chicken. Otherwise you are making chicken and wine.
JoJo: You weren’t trying to be an asshole? How would an asshole have said that then? She was trying to help another commenter welcome her son’s French roommate and you just had to out-French her in the most dickish way.
Aww thanks Shay! I take no offense to JoJos comment though – some are total purists about classic recipes…me, I’m known to take more than a few short cuts. I have even used good quality jarred tomato sauce on occasion, much to the chagrin of the purist Italian elders of my family.
Toni, I’m not 100% myself, but I dont think it was the correction that irked me. I guess I expect the TT daily tea community to be less judgmental and it turned ME prickly! (A normal TT commenter who HAD to correct someone would perhaps say, “I thought Coq Au Vin is traditionally made with an old ass rooster? Is it better with a fresh young chicken? That recipe sounds amazing and im sure Frenchie will appreciate the effort and kindness.”)
But as the resident asshole, I ended up being an asshole to the asshole about some cock.
Sometimes the qualifiers make it seem worse, like when someone starts a statement with no offense, but…
I think my version of coq au vin is pretty sweet with fresh hot young chicken, but I wouldn’t turn down some tasty cock either
Yeah I know – but good luck getting a rooster. I’ve had it with rooster and I’ve made it with chicken and the difference is negligible to me.
No one on planet earth orders Coq au Vin at a French restaurant, even in France and expects rooster. The name of the dish is what it is but 99.3% of the time, it’s chicken.
I do not eat anything in Paris but Croque Monsier. It’s on every bistro menu and it the cheapest thing. Which is important. Escpecialy the last time because the reason I went for so long was because they was a high rated hotel on line that had dirt cheap room. Like well under $100 a night. Great location, just old and a bit rundown with no elevator. It was a disaster, dark, no windows, creepy people. I had a total panic attack cried and wandered around looking for the place I had stayed previously and got a room that was out of my budget, but clean, with a window and a TV and Internet access none of which my previous room was. It was necessary because I didn’t feel like leaving my room many days. But a few steps in any direct a nice ham and cheese sandwich and draft beer was waiting for me.
So instead of mutton dressed as lamb, we have chicken dressed as rooster… this would certainly explain why I noticed no difference when preparing it with chicken at home
I’ve only been to Paris once but I agree that the small cafes and bistros are the way to go. One of the best meals of my life was a cup of French onion soup at a bistro right by the catacombs we ducked into to get out of the rain. of course I was bursting with pride that my claustrophobic ass got through the catacombs without having a panic attack so that may have made the soup even better.
Sorry if these are stupid questions, but isn’t a rooster a male chicken? Does gender make a difference in the recipe?
Most packaged US chicken is young rooster. It’s a special breed with oversized chests. Honest. I am a long time chicken mom.
Ruffled feathers over what still tastes like chicken such sensitive taste buds.
@Cat From what I’ve heard rooster meat is tougher than hen meat and it takes longer too cook. So that’s why a rooster would be better suited for stew. Stewing is one of the best ways to deal with tough meat of any variety, whether poultry, beef, pork, etc.
And the croque monsieur sounds divine. I’ve never had a real one, but I saw Jacques do that on the show with Julia and it looked great. I love grilled cheese anyhow. Now I’m craving that too!
Oh Lord!!! I think I just stepped in some doo-doo. Should have looked where I was going.
I didn’t read all the other comments about rooster v. hen for Coq au Vin in-depth before I added my 2 centavos.
I’m just gonna go over here and try to scrape this off of my shoe. Sorry guys.
@Shay You a gangsta girl! ROTFLMAO!
Could your son find out what his favorite dish is back home? Since Thansgiving is about comfort food and gathering with friends or family, that might be cool to have waiting for him. Migh be a dessert
I’d be sure to have good wine – it is a cliche, but an easy one to manage.
Honestly, I think you are really sweet to think of something french…. but I would also make sure he gets a real American Thanksgiving too!
I needed to clean my carpets and rugs, several cats and too many puke spots. I was going to rent one of those disgusting rug shampoo machines from the store but instead finally gave in and got my own rug steamer. It was only $130. After about half an hour of figuring out how it runs, I finally got to work, and it is the most satisfying thing I have ever done. So great, totally recommend one for all of my OCD friends out there. My hall carpet is like 3 shades lighter, and what I vacuumed up was awesomely disgusting. (okay it makes me sound like a pig, but I swear my house is pretty clean, especially now)
I make Kreplach with them and future DIL makes amazing egg rolls. Dessert rolls are great and easy. A little pie filling, a few minutes of frying and instant happiness. Even though I have always lived in the South, I do not fry a lot. Hubby grew up with a lot of frying, but I did not.
I’ve had the weekend with no child, which never happens as a single mom. A break!
Although I should have been living it up, I had a severe panic attack while I was headed out for a day trip with the (new) boyfriend.. As if it wasn’t hard enough explaining to him why I thought I was dying for seemingly no reason (and had NO anti-anxiety meds,) I had to have him drive us back to the house so I could lay in the dark and try to calm down. Ended up taking some benadryl and finally falling asleep after about 45 minutes of paralyzing anxiety.
So much for our day trip.
I’m sorry..that is the worst. Why does every panic attack feel like imminent death? 🙁
I NEED HELP! A couple of months ago I started to feel some funny things with my heart but nothing major. Sent 3 weeks ago, I awoke in sheer panic. I was paralyzed all day. It stayed that way until I had a full-blown panic attack. On the last visit to my pain specialist 3 months ago, he mentioned he would no longer allow any of his patients to take any benzos or they’d be thrown out of his practice. My panic went on for three weeks straight cultivating into several panic attacks a day. The difference is, when the attack is over, I am still in a state of panic. I jump out of sleep that way, or just wake up that way, and it stays all day and night. A week ago Thursday, I seriously couldn’t take it anymore so I called the doctor and explained I was worried about all that stress on my heart and could I please, please take a Xanax. His response was “NO”. How inhumane can one person be? I could not take a chance on taking one because I had an appointment on the 10th and he always performs a urine test. I had been trying to go to the store for 3 weeks and finally made an attempt to do so the next Friday. I had two full-blown attacks out in public in the stores. Came home with nothing from each. That night I ended up having to call an ambulance. My heart felt like it was squeezing, i had pain in my jaw and left arm, arms and legs were tingling and my legs felt like jelly. I was light-headed but not in a good way. Before the Panic set in, I had read that women often feel extremely anxious weeks before a heart attack. I truly believed my symptoms were probably part of the panic issues and nothing more. To add insult to injury, I had another attack in the ambulance. Now they weren’t taking me seriously. I screamed for them to get the belts off, let me sit up and open the damn doors. I had to move my legs. I had to get some air. It was a good thing we hadn’t left my driveway yet. As it turned out, I learned I do have heart problems and will most likely need a pacemaker. Right now I’m hooked up to all these leads attached to my body with something around my neck that reads of a cell phone they gave me. I was in the hospital until last Thursday when they told me something serious was going on and that I needed to be transported to another hospital for an angioplasty. I was already there for a week and they couldn’t do it on Friday, so I spent another weekend there, only to be transported this past Monday morning. I have no idea how I’m going to pay for these bills. My social security check doesn’t even get me through the month nor does it permit me enough funds for a Supplement Plan. When I left the hospital, I had my daughter take me straight to the pain doc because I never would have been able to drive there on my own. Additionally, I can take some Xanax now for a couple of weeks. I don’t see him again for three months but honestly, I would be afraid to take anything even 2 months before I see him again for a urine test. I don’t know how long it stays in the body. I hate pills. He should know that by now. I don’t take anything unless I absolutely have to. I don’t even like the idea of having to take Xanax if it’s going to have to be all the time. That would cause its own set of problems. But he gave me an ultimatum. Live like a paralyzed freak sitting on the edge of my bed unable to even speak to anyone, or live hysterically crying my eyes out in chronic pain. Sorry doc… neither one is acceptable. I lived in pain for 22 years before I took anything but then the pain became unbearable. I should mention that not one of the doctors I spoke to in the hospital could understand why he won’t let me take Xanax when I desperately need it. It’s just about covering his ass. I know it’s difficult on the doctors but if there’s a legitimate reason, there shouldn’t be a problem.
I know I don’t post here often but I read here often.
TT and her wonderful band of commenters are what keeps me going. I’d like to thank you all for that. I was always very witty and funny and would have collectively made you all pee your pants. I’m sorry I’m not that way anymore. It’s difficult being sick all the time and living in a place where you don’t know anyone and being all alone, bedridden most of the time. Has anyone ever heard of someone having panic attacks whereby the panic never leaves? Is there anything I can do? Breathing properly is not working. Just please don’t suggest for me to see a different pain doctor because then I’ll just get accused of Doctor shopping. Why can’t drug addicts just use all the great street drugs out there and leave the prescriptions for the people who really need them? I am 67 and all alone. I only have one daughter who is 26 and she took a job where she has to travel all the time on the West Coast. My sister and mother are in New Jersey and I’m in North Carolina. My mom has been very healthy @ 93, but she fell last month and isn’t doing well now. So my sister has her hands full with Mom and also her daughter with whom she’s very close and having her share of marital problems and has a 2 1/2 year old boy that my sister cares for as well. She recently retired from her learning consultant position to handle those messes. Any advice is truly appreciated.
Hmmm. Have you considered finding a new pain specialist?
You’re anxiety and the panic attacks are not good for you. Obviously. You need to truly concentrate on calming down and focus on you. If there are changes you could make in your life that would benefit you and your health, then do it.
Your health and sanity are the most important things. It’s okay to be a little selfish. Nobody can look out for you better than you. Make yourself a priority.
@Patricia I’m so sorry to hear of everything that is going on 🙁 I know personally the struggle of chronic pain and anxiety. Although my anxiety is under control for the most part, there was a time when it was not in control and it was awful and debilitating.
As for the pain mgmt guy, I get that. We can thank the drug companies for encouraging docs to overprescribe pain meds for every little thing 10-15 years ago because they were told that that there were no dangers to their patients. As we have seen things spiral out of control with addiction and overdose deaths in the last 15 years, I guess the line of thinking now is that unless you’re practically dead, you just have to deal with it. Quality of life doesn’t seem to matter to them. I go through this as well and it sucks ass to be honest. There are people that have legitimate problems that are chronic and that do need a pain med so that they can function and live a life as close to normal as possible.
I’m sorry for your situation. It’s heartbreaking. I’ll be thinking of you and praying that you have some peace and good luck come your way very soon. In the meantime, this blog and TT are very warm and welcoming folks with huge hearts.
If you can, try to find a new pain mgmt doc (I know the struggle as they always think that you are doctor shopping when in truth you just need someone to listen and be supportive of your situation). If your issues warrant a pain medication and you sign a contract and abide by it, then it shouldn’t be an issue. I’m thinking of you ! Feel better <3
I’m awfully sorry you are going through this, panic attacks are incredibly frightening. It’s especially difficult when one goes through situations like this without support. It can feel very lonely and isolating.
Unless I missed something, I’m not sure if you’re seeing a psychiatrist. If you find one than she/he can possibly work in tandem with your pain specialist. This way you can seek some comfort from the panic attacks with the psychiatrist without alienating the pain specialist. My experience has been that these doctors usually have huge egos and they have to be handled in a certain way.
I’m sending good thoughts your way. Remember you are not alone.
A pain doctor who decides he is not going to give any more pain medications of a certain class to ANY of his patients, is not a good doctor. So I did a bit of research. The CDC came out with a recommendation last March about mixing benzo with opiates. Basically the decision was, don’t do that. Since he is a “pain doctor” who pushes opiates all day, he’s under a lot of scrutiny already so he decided to cover his bases with the whole Benzos thing. I’ve never heard of a doctor drug testing all their patients at each appointment. It sounds very ghetto to me.
You do not mention what the source of your chronic pain is. All of your symptoms seem to me, and I have no medical training at all, like they could be from the opiates (pain killers) you are taking. Did he reduce your dosage when he stopped the opiates? Because at that same time as the CDC recommendation doctors were urged to use the lowest dose possible for your pain meds. If he lowered yours, you could be going through drug withdrawal from that if you were not stepped down properly.
Do you have a primary physician? If so, I would suggest seeing her about everything you are going through. If not, you need one. You need a PRIMARY doctor to have all of your records from your “pain doctor” and your new heart doctors who has a clear overview of you overall health. That is not doctor shopping. That is common sense. This doctor SHOULD NOT BE A PAIN DOCTOR, or any other kind of specialist, but just a really good general practitioner. This will be the MAIN PERSON you will consult about your health, so that you don’t have to ask the fat lady on the couch you know on the Internet who is not a doctor and doesn’t know your health history. 🙂
Take care of yourself, and I hope you get the help you need soon!
Went through all this a few months ago. I couldn’t get my Xanax from my pain mgmt doctor, but it was okay to get from my primary care physician. They lowered my medicine to hardly anything, but my doctor was really upset about the DEA and insurance companies deciding how he can treat me. My primary care physician actually increased and doubled my Xanax. It made no sense to me but each month I never know what new rules are. In the 15 years of pain management, I never have had a drug test. My bff, gets drug test probably 6 times per year. My doctor told me( as well as my primary), they will help me find a doctor who doesn’t abide so strictly to the guidelines. I’m choosing to stay with my current doctor. He feels though, I should be on more medicine, if I choose.
I actually cancelled my reply, but it was posted. Felt I may have shared more than I wanted. Oh well. 🙁
@Cheryl B. I’m thankful you shared. It’s truly appreciated.
Thank you, TT, for the research. As always, you went above and beyond for your commenters. Where ever do you find the strength and time? I appreciate you dearly for the laughter you and your commenters bring to my life when nothing else does so.
There has been no change in my pain med dosage but agree my doc is not a good one. All he kept saying was that he was glad I was “off” the xanax (as if he gave me a choice). I don’t consider taking a Xanax once every 6 months or so as being “on” them in the first place and I was insulted by his comment. It’s been more than 1 1/2 years since my last script. I sat there black and blue everywhere from hospital procedures and he never asked once what they found or why I was even there and for so long.
You are also right about the urine testing. It’s a racket. I read an article about 6 months ago about doctors who do that, especially with long term patients (10 years for me) and particularly with seniors when their aware they can barely leave their beds let alone be out there partying with illegal drugs. I suspected he owned his own lab somewhere. Sure enough, 3 months ago, they put me in a room I was unfamiliar that was way in the back of his office. When I left, I lost my bearings and stumbled upon a room with all this strange equipment. Not like PT equipment but testing equipment. BINGO! This visit he made me sign papers that I would pay for the urine tests as the ins. companies were no longer going to pay. RACKET for sure.
In the 80’s & 90’s I saw dozens of docs with regard to my pain, but each disease mimicked others and all provided false positives and vice versa. Finally they just dx’d Fibromyalgia which was in its infancy at the time. As time went on, the pain became more severe. Even I have a hard time believing it causes this much pain and for one to become bedridden. Quality of life isn’t much better on 8mg Hydromorphone because pain is still there…not to mention severe exhaustion. But it does numb it enough so that I’m not screaming bloody murder. People tell me that’s a high dose. Doesn’t seem like it to me but I’ve been that way since I was little. Always needing higher than usual dosages. So I’ll see my GP. Luckily, she is right next door to the heart doc. I saw many in the hospital but truly loved one in particular. Imagine my surprise when he walked through the door and said “remember me?” As panicky as I am, I wanted to kiss the ground he walked on. He is extremely caring and I need that right now. He just doesn’t want me living alone. I never thought I would say this EVER, but I don’t want to be alone anymore but unfortunately, there is no one who can help.
What TT said – and if you are worried about teh bills, yes it may be high, but you should contact the hospital’s billing for a payment plan AND ask for assistance from a social worker there to see if there are any programs you qualify for (or ones that you might qualify for in the future.)
If you are worried about being accused of doctor shopping – get a referral from your primary care physician or one of the heart people who couldn’t understand why you weren’t getting Xanax. The new doc should understand the situation then.
Cheryl, I take very small amounts of Xanax myself, and I would like let you know that doctors generally prescribe it 30 pills at a time. They are required to see you again before prescribing the next dose before as they monitor you on the medication. While Xanax is very cheap, the doctors appointment is not. So sometimes my doctor would double a script and tell me to cut the pills in half. This kept me from having to go in to the doctor so much and save money.
I am telling you this because when you say your doctor doubled your dose, that may be why. With Xanax, I always take as little as possible because I don’t go to the doctor much and I’m afraid to run out. In fact, those 30 pills have lasted me over a year. Usually, unless I am in public, I can ride out my panic attacks just knowing that if things get worse, I have one to take.
Just sharing my experience with Xanax and panic attacks.
Patricia, I live in south Jersey. Around four years ago after getting a total knee replacement along with copays and deductibles I couldn’t pay, I read about medical bill negotiators. At the time, I found out from a friend that AAA (yes, for your auto and a whole lot more now) had medical negotiators. My bill was chopped by around 12 grand and I was able to make monthly payments until it was paid in full. There are many private companies who do this now, but AAA works differently, IMO, and looks out for the welfare of the burdened patient.
Every hospital must accept Medicare and Medicaid patients as they are funded by the state/federal government. They may tell you they don’t have a bed open, but then you need to call a state agency and file a complaint online. You will need to file with a consumer fraud agency, maybe medical insurance, or something close to that in NC.
As for bentos, since Michael Jackson’s death, there has been a huge clamp down by the DEA. Everything is computerized now so they know which doctors are prescribing too many and too often. The doctor can be called in for a review and if found negligent by the DEA, be fine 10 grand per incident and may have their DEA license ( different license than is needed for non-narcotic pills) suspended for six months to a year. It is so difficult to get xanax now. Try asking for Klonipin (Clonazipam) as it is a diluted Xanax and more psych will agree to it as well as pain management doctors. You really have to dr shop to fine someone who will listen to your individual story and be more considerate of your predicament. I used to have panic attacks. Now, I seem to have chronic anxiety which is better some days and really bad on others. On bad days, even weeks, I keep to myself at home.
I am so sorry to hear what a hard time and difficult road you’ve been on this month. Prayers!!!
Patricia!
First of all, I want to try to put you at ease.
Just before I started chemo for advanced stage 3 breast cancer, I found out that I needed an emergency pacemaker. (I’ll spare you all the details that lead up to this finding, they really don’t matter here.)
The pacemaker implant was an easy procedure. Small scar, which they hid. And I was awake for the whole thing, which I found fascinating.
Amazing how much better I felt after it was over.
The important thing about it is: It saved my life! If you need one, DO IT!
As for the medical bills, between the cardiologist and the cancer treatments, I was terrified of the cost. But, I decided I was worth it! YOU ARE WORTH IT, TOO!
The chemo drugs alone came to about $500,000. Just for the drugs. Before I started treatment, I met with the Financial Advisor at the hospital. I was so afraid, thinking she would demand payment up front.
I was wrong! What she told me was this: “Relax. Do not concern yourself with money. Concentrate on getting better. On surviving. The money will take care of itself.”
She immediately gave me forms to fill out for financial assistance. Although I had good insurance through work, my low income qualified me for help.
I did receive some bills, and although I paid them late, I was able to make comfortable payment arrangements. However, I found that most of my medical bills were paid by an agreement between the hospital, my insurance, and the drug company.
With medical bills closely reaching the million dollar mark, I only had to pay a tiny, tiny portion. Less than $1,000, I think it was.
Finally, I received an email from the hospital. The rest of my bill was written off. I no longer had medical bills!
My point in all of this is: Take care of yourself! YOU ARE WORTH IT! And don’t worry about the money. Pay what you can. Let them deal with the rest.
Best of luck to you!
To Cat, Matzah60, Erica, Thanks for all the info on medical bills. Glad TT archives everything. I am not in the position to write it all down now but the time will come then I’m going to need it. Bless you all for that important information. I push the $$$ thoughts out of my head now because I simply can’t deal. But the fact is, the bills are going to come one day. I would never have known how to deal with them. By the way, I am an AAA member and I never knew about medical negotiators.
I also want to thank everyone else here who has responded to my plea. I cried and felt much less alone then I have in a long time. You are such wonderful human beings and I can’t thank you enough.
Patricia: Find a new pain doc. You’re going to get booted as a patient. You aren’t complying with your physician, regardless of whether or not you pop dirty on a UA; or if you think you’re justified.
Pain doctors can see your prescriptions from other doctors. I went to my pain doc and he asked me how many ativans I had taken (my primary care doctor wrote it two days prior and it was filled the day before). They are omnipotent. If your pain management has a zero tolerance policy, that’s there perogative.
Otherwise, you’re going to get caught and blacklisted. It’s not going to be fun like Elaine from Seinfeld– trying to erase “noncompliant” from your chart. You will not have pain management and will have no excuses.
Thanks for the warning, Shay. I realize that and my heart doc mentioned it also. I currently do not have any doctors writing me scripts for xanax. The script I have is over 1 1/2 years old. I barely took any out of fear of addition and because of the other meds I was on. Of course, I wasn’t in the situation I am today. I just rode out most feelings of being overwhelmed. Unfortunately, I can’t ride out this panic, especially when it never stops. No breaks to even catch my breath. It’s still there, even with xanax. Just more bearable….but not enough to function. I’m not even sure how I’m going to get out to find another doctor. I’m so paralyzed. First I will take TT”S advise and see my primary.
Patricia, perhaps try Google: “pain management” + your city or “best pain management” + largest city near you. Read the reviews, make sure they take your insurance and new patients, and get a consult with 2-3 before you decide.
I moved two states and it took me almost 2 years to find pain management. Its a longterm relationship where you really have to know the doc cares about you and wants you to get better. My current pain management has a zero tolerance to alcohol (alcohol plus opiates can be deadly– just like narcotics/schedule II and benzos/schedule IV) and cigarettes (because they increase pain– which means you are directly working against what they are doing). It’s interesting because the first pain management I went to felt like a pill/urine mill (eventually shut down because they had 19 overdose deaths) and the second place didn’t take my insurance after 6 months. I was very afraid I’d look like a doctor shopper, as I was taking 180mg oxycodone/day (now on morphine sulfate). But, if you have good records, you should have no worries.
I believe there are many great pain specialists. The DEA and addicts have made it almost impossible for doctors to write schedule II, so strict contracts and UAs help them keep their practice.
My contract states I must be available to come into the office within 72 hours if they call me for a random pill count or UA (never have). I agree because I’m compliant and I have confidence my doctor is doing it for my safety. If you don’t have the confidence that your doctor has your best interests/health as their #1 priority, it’s time to move on. Just be aware that every pain management will have rules, contracts, and UAs at least 3 times a year. If they don’t, they will be shut down– either from overdoses, deaths, or the DEA.
My parents are dead and I don’t have any kids. I had a lady at a grocery store I frequent call me a “stray” once. Now, I hope a meteor falls on her. Granted, I’m not a foreign exchange student, but still.
Tamara, I am not newly single but sometimes would like to be. I am over 40. We’re on the same wavelength, I believe. That thing you said to the millennial about tweeting reality show people is Exhibit A on that front. I wish I could move away with you. I really do, even if that was just late night drinky talk. Anywhere, anywhere…I dream of moving, often.
You made me go into the WLS!!! And this was in there. No idea why. Sorry.
Sam, dear Sam: I am a stray, too. And I LOVE IT!
No one to boss me around, or tell me how to live my life. I live on my own terms.
This is why I adopted the little black kitty persona. Black cats are misunderstood. They are NOT bad luck, like many believe. They are some of the most loving and affectionate cats out there. Yet, they are often shunned and ignored. Or abused.
Hang in there. Dismiss the negatives thrown your way. It is not a reflection on you. It is a reflection of the ignorance of the sender. It is THEIR problem.
They do not deserve to be in your life.
Keep being you. You are the best you out there!
I love living in Florida! One of the perks is being able to vote early which I was able to do on Tuesday and since I’ve already cast my vote, I can tune out all of the bullshit. Unfortunately both Trump and Clinton have been all over South Florida this week.
I’m afraid Florida is going to screw this up with such a close race and once again, it will take us weeks to know who is president.
My 88 year old amazing, hero father in law is in hospice. My husband and I are devastated. He and my MIL have been together since they were 14 and 18. They dated for ten years, while they both went off to college and while he went off to the Korean War before they got married.
How will she manage without him? She’s been with him for 70 years??
I cannot imagine.
I pray for them both and my husband and his sister.
Sending good thoughts. Xo
Blessings to your family and your father in law. Sounds he & wife shared a true, deep love.
Not sure if snarky but heartfelt comment was eaten or if in WLS….hmmmmmm. The video ads make my responses and ability to scroll thru site really wonky, but don’t want to turn them off because you know, dollars. Huh.
I’m sorry JKR. Maybe another day? Doesn’t matter what he thinks, matters he took you home to feel better. 🙂 hope you have a better day.
Omgosh, just noticed, RHOA, Married to medicine, AND RHONJ reunion, are ALL on tonight? Wow, that’s a lot!!
Oh dear God. At least Atlanta is first. The reunions take HOURS to recap. I pretty much end up transcribing the show because there is so much unbelievable stuff that comes out of their mouths I want to tell you word for word.
I need to go buy alcohol.
I’m not even bothering with a glass. I’m just sticking a very long straw in the bottle and drinking.
I refuse to hide because of the insecurity of some men. There. I said it.
You can always just come here, our men are nice. Stay off of Facebook. I haven’t checked on my friends there in many months because it’s all election all the time.
Yes, they are. And I appreciate that. We (your “regulars”) may disagree from time to time, but we disagree respectfully.
That is so important to me. Yes, I make funny comments now and then. But this is 2016. Not the 1950s. Men (and I’m speaking of Facebook, here) need to understand that these days, women are strong.
We have opinions on serious topics. We are not brainwashed. We can and do think for ourselves. We are not Disney princesses. We do not need to be rescued. We are not here simply to boost their overinflated egos. Those days are OVER.
We simply want to be heard, and taken serious!y. As they do.
Why isn’t lymeopause an official diagnosis? I got bit by a lime while riding a horse. I’ll devote my life to sharing the cure. It involves crystals and colonics.
Really hope this isn’t off limits but can I just say I hope everyone votes? Even if we disagree on who we want to win, there are really important issues on both sides that only a vote will impact. If you don’t have mail-in voting, take a neighbor who doesn’t drive. Even if they aren’t supporting your candidate. We really need to try as a country to go the extra mile for each other, red or blue.
Thanks for letting me be a little civic and pollyanna for a moment. Afraid to hit the “post” button but here goes.
Sooooooo….as it turns out my lymopause is actually Hashimoto Thyroiditis….good times. My labs came back just under normal, but I pushed (because I knew someone was seriously wrong with my body and brain) and insisted on the Ultra Sound; so after fighting with my PCP since July, I “win”. And as an added bonus, the meds are like an express turn-back-the-clock so I’m having every single symptom I had for over a year and dealt with one at a time, all at once.
In other news, TT you’re trying to get us into non-Bravo, I just got into “This Is Us’. Words cannot express how much I love this show. If you haven’t checked it out, try it.
Does this mean you are hypo or hyper thyroid? I forget – I have the brain fog right now…. I counted, and I didn’t take my pills thi weekend.
Take your damn pills!!! They’re there to help you!
I’m saying this not to scold, but out of concern. I did that shit too. I’m not the strictest pill taker, but when my thyroid levels were all over the place I got my shit together and started taking them everyday, religiously.
With Hashi’s, which I have too, you can alternate between hyper and hypo. It’s an autoimmune disease in which your thyroid gland is attacking itself. I had a multi nodular goiter, also diagnosed through ultrasound, and taking the meds actually made it shrink. My neck used to stick out, but it doesn’t anymore and looks normal. Also, I’ve been doing so well with my meds and my new way of eating that my dosage basically got cut in half. Hallelujah!
I know, I have to find a good pill reminder app or something. My problem is I get foggy/tired from allergies too – and with the seasonal changes, rescue cats we still haven’t figured out what to do with, my house that is full of dust, etc., and the parents’ new puppy, I think they are on overload a bit (sometimes extreme fatigue is my ONLY symptom.) I was coughing last week, and I heard it crackle a little. Asthma was sneaking up on me again. Plus that time of the month which impacts everything too.
I took the thyroid pill on time today, and I have set a reminder to take my allergy pill and my Singular tonight. Been drinking a shit ton of water to thin everything out too.
Hypo is underactive. At least that explains the 50+ lbs since January i’ve added 🙁
Hmmmm. Just saw Teresa’s lawyer/future husband, on an episode of SNAPPED.Loretta Burroughs, wasn’t paying attention but looks like may have found a husband in a closet in a bedroom years later. Just may have to see why he was talking. ????
So, had blast commenting today. This was the scariest week I can remember, and I fell apart more than once hiding in the bathroom. I prayed for today to be smiling, happy,and knowing everything is going to be okay. Thank god, it is/will. I’m gonna end commenting and thank all of you who don’t even know how much you all help. 🙂 Yay for a great upcoming week, with a bunch to follow. Xo
I’m going to be a bit selfish here but I need to vent.
1- My husband. Should be. Single. He’s such a pacifist to everyone but me and the kids.
2- My uncle died. Have tried and tried to put that side of the family together again to no avail.
3- My bitch ass cousin called out my wig. MY Friggin wig.!
4-I’m tired of being so nice.
5- I’m two seconds away from losing my cool because I look ridiculous because I angry cry, I’m not sad I’m so damned pissed my cry emotion comes out.
Small summary but I feel better. Jackass’ Temper tantrum on hold.
I slept/hibernated for most of the weekend. Just slept on and off with the cat and read my Kindle or played Candy Crush Soda Saga. Read FB and got an anxiety about the election that I can’t shake.
I did watch the first episode of The Crown on Netflix.
I. am. hooked. So good! Already planning on binge watching when I have the day off on Friday.
Carrie was venting and I want to too. Have been trying to stay sane when I want to scream. The sane part is still carrying on.
Passive aggressive is difficult to deal with. I think that may be what you meant by pacifist. When you start saying ‘the husband’ it’s time to divorce.
I’m a little bit late posting here but I’m happy to report that I had my thyroid surgery and it went fine. I was super anxious and melting down on the way to the hospital at 5 am the morning of. It’s an hour’s drive and those last hours were very hard for me – no eating, drinking, or smoking after midnight. My logical mind knows that this surgery is done every day and is pretty routine but it was my first one EVER and I was beyond petrified. Just the smell of the hospital sends my bp into orbit. Luckily I had a super sweet anesthetist (?) who assured me she would take great care of me and gave me pre-op meds to ease the anxiety and calm me down because at that point I was in tears.
All went well. I now only have 1/4 of my left lobe left. The surgeon took everything else out which was far more than was talked about beforehand, but he must have seen a need to take it all out then and there. He didn’t put me on thyroid hormone meds though, which I find weird. But this is all new to me and I’m no expert so I guess at my follow-up I’ll ask him.
Please excuse spelling and grammar errors as I’m not really totally with it yet. The last few days are a complete blur and I don’t remember much. I’m in a bit of pain but the docs have had pity on me and gave me a script for pain relief so I’m on the mend and the bad cancer cells are now out ! Hurray !
Hope y’all had a great weekend ! Lookin’ forward to #PumpRules tonight !
It’s wonderful to see that you’re doing so well, Never Been Jaxed! You’ll feel better each day.
As we used to tell our patients, take your pain meds as ordered. Your body can heal itself better if it’s not having to deal with pain. They will also allow you to get the rest it needs right now.
Take care of yourself!
Glad you checked in and glad your anesthetist was a good one!
Yup… easier to stay on top of the pain rather than trying to chase it down!
Also, if you ca’t take someone in with you on the check up… write down all your questions!
@Margarett @Erica Thank you so much ! It definitely was scary but really the last thing I remember before I woke up in my room was that anesthetist talking to me in a really calming, soothing voice that was so comforting to me (as she was piggybacking my IV I’m sure) and rubbing me on the forehead telling me not to worry. She will never know just how much I appreciate her bedside manner with me.
I’m not much of a thank you note writer (much to the horror of my mother because “I was raised better than that”) but I’m going to send thank you cards to the staff in the ICU of the hospital I was at. I wrote all their names down on a piece of paper while I was there because I couldn’t sleep at all because of the pain and just being out of it. My daughter is an RN in a cardiac CCU and she receives gifts and letters from her patients and their families all the time and she really loves that people think of the staff after they leave.
Thanks for the well wishes ladies <3! On the mend, and looking forward to some Jax tonight !
Enjoy Vanderpump Rules, your pain meds, and your bravery. I think it sounds quite traumatic, and I’m so happy for you to be able to fix whatever was necessary. So sending lots of good thoughts! 🙂 xo
Never been Jaxed, enjoy Vanderpump Rules, your pain meds, and your bravery. Sounds like a very trying day, and am glad that it is over. So, would like to send lots of good thoughts!! 🙂 xo
@Cheryl B. Thank you ! ((hugs)) <3
Oops, double comment, but must have been a reason 🙂 that’s okay !
I need wine and cheese popcorn for tonight. If I’m going to watch the beginning of the end of the world, I need the appropriate munchies.
Oh, and tacos. It is, after all, Tuesday!
Down to my last beer unsure if a walk to to package store will involve champagne?
Holy crap. He won?
This is so bizarre. The ultimate reality tv show. A hero. A villain. Presented as real, but seems oddly scripted.
The Ultimate Apprentice.
Are they 100 percent sure? Due to my condition, I didn’t dare watch.
They are saying so. Even though he is at 269. She is at 218, I think. CBS is not giving up, though. He’s about to come out to give a speech.
It’s frustrating. The numbers keep changing. Now, they say he’s at 256.
I don’t get it.
Yup, I walked to the store for wine. This is hard. Personally lost a lot tonight. I pray and pray some more.
He gave a great speech, though. He was confident, and HUMBLE. Talked about bringing all races and religions together. He even complimented Hillary for her many years of great service to the country.
Who IS this man…and what has he done with Trump?
It will be interesting to see what all the late night guys (like Stephen Colbert) do with this news tomorrow.
Cat – Yea, it was humble and maybe, just maybe there is some part of him that is real? Because who is he? Is it all the wine or my fear of the huge fork in the road for our country that is making this so confusing. I’m just overwhelmed at how much is potentially lost. If someone out there can find humor in it, it’ll be Colbert.
First we have to find a way to close his Twitter account. It was nice to hear all the wonderful things he’s going to do for veterans, etcetera. Just once I’d like to hear how he plans on doing all these wonderful things.
Had there been a bottle of cordon rouge within arms reach when I awoke this morning it would have been firmly planted between my eyes, christen me a fool.