Okay, Let’s do this. I know that you guys are saying that Ben and Emily are still together in real life, but I just have such a hard time believing this. I think Ben will break her heart.
I have no memory of whatever happened that Katie feels she needs and apology for. Hang on while I go here and try to figure it out. Nope still no clue. But I noticed I was feeling similarly last week to this week when it came to recapping. I honestly think that RHOOC and last night the additional disgrace that was WWHL ruins my entire next day.
Kyle is pissed off at Sierra for her rudeness to him when he attempted to take her on a date. Kelly is pissed that Emily went on a date with Ben. Katie is pissed at Lauren for being way more beautiful than she will ever be. The help is is grumpy. Except for Ben and Emily who are beginning their romance. Sierra thinks that she has made it clear to Kyle that she was not interested. I don’t think she did at all.
Speaking of grumpy, Captain Lee calls Kelly up to the bridge to bitch him out about the night before. It seems that seeing a piece of pizza on the floor has made the captain upset that they are no respecting the boat. So he admonishes Kelly and threatens the deck crew again. Kate whines to Ben about Kelly being rude to Sierra. They were not working. These idiots fight all the time. Shut the fuck up Kate. Kate says Kelly is on a spiral of anger. Please. Can these storylines please make more sense? Do we need this much sturm und drang over a fucking slice of pizza? Kelly admits he is going to kiss Kate’s ass until he is off the boat because she is someone he does not want as an enemy. It seems Kelly is well aware of Captain Lee’s affinity for Kate.
I love listening to Emily talk to her father. More of this. Less #PizzaGate
Oh God. It’s a psychic cruise. We will be talking with dead people and spreading ashes and doing yoga. I just can’t already.
Kelly talks to the deckhand about the pizza thing. Lauren doesn’t even remember dropping the pizza. Kelly is really could about it and suggests that they all give Kate a wide berth and a fake smile in the future. Lauren doesn’t understand what this necessitates a meeting. It doesn’t. But the fact that Captain Lee and Kate have made a huge ordeal out of it all does. I thought Kelly did a fantastic job at the meeting but Rico is sort of pissed with Kelly for no damn reason.
I recognize the two gay charter guests but I can’t place him. Banjo is losing his mind because my piece of shit gaybor is standing on the sidewalk in front of my house with his stupid half dead dog. Their names are Scott and Emerson. What show are they off of? Oh People’s Couch. Now I am twenty minutes behind because I could not figure out who the fuck they were. Where is Blake?
As the guests are playing with all the water toys, the critterless pool starts to float away. So scripted.
Of course the only photo we got this week was of the damn pool floating away and not of Captain Lee in his dress blacks for dinner. Stud of the Sea, indeed. Of all the guests to join for dinner he picks this batch of loons? Scott and Emerson excluded of course. Rebecca the psychic starts reading Captain Lee at the table. She says, “Your mother is here because she has passed on right?” Captain Lee says, “No.” Now Rebecca is stammer through her big scene. It’s kind of hilarious. Rebecca continues to guess wrong over and over and over. Scott gets up to let Rebecca five Kate a reading. Rebecca says that when she she settles down more, Kate will get a dog. She tells Kate that the man she has been waiting for is very close to her now. And he likes nuts. Like pecans. Ben asks Emily, both of whom are eavesdropping if she is talking about him. Emily says yes. Ben says he loves Kate but not like that. This could be the worst fake psychic ever to be on Bravo. Apparently she watched old seasons of Below Deck when Kate and Ben were a thing.
For the first time in Below Deck history, we hit some really rough weather. The wine cellar springs open and lots of bottle roll out and break. The psychic is puking her guts out.
Time for Captain Lee to yell at Kelley for the pool floating away. Because the pool not being tied off properly the first time and someone having to swim out and pull it back in is a major catastrophe. Apparently, Kyle is the one who didn’t tie it off properly.
Ben and Kate continue to bicker over meal service. Is this breakfast? Is this brunch? Why doesn’t he just tell Kate what it is? Captain Lee admonishes them over the radio where guests can hear.
Scott is the one spreading his aunt’s ashes. Kelly does a test run of the ashes being tossed overboard to insure the real ones don’t blow back all over everyone. The whole thing was creepy. Mostly the conversations not the actual ceremony. Scott and his sentiments were very sweet.
At dinner, Rebecca continues to say the most ridiculous things. She can connect to celebrities in heaven using technology. They call her on the phone. God spoke with her and told her she was right about everything. Well then, that clears it up for me. I mean who am I to question God?
There is another psychic on the boat who gives Emily a reading. She asks if she knows someone named Daniel who is older among the living. Ben is lurking about as subtly as Donald Trump did in the second presidential debate. It’s almost that creepy. He asks Cindy the psychic if there is a shot with the relationship between Emily and him. She refuses to continue the reading. Ben is kind of rude to Cindy. Finally, Cindy says no she doesn’t. Ben asks Emily for another date right then and there. She says yes but she is upset with him.
Kate continues to be rude to Lauren. Blake and Emerson love Kyle and approach him for this Twitter info. The Captain witnesses this and he will be taking Kyle to task about it I am sure.
Ben has an audio chat with his older brother James and invites him to come on the show.
At the crew meeting, Captain Lee passed out $1300 a piece and lots of criticism. Nico stood up for Kyle. Kelley was pissy about that. Did he lie to Captain Lee about the pool mishap being Kyle’s fault?
Ben and Emily go on a dinner date. Ro tries to have Skype sex with Kate. Ben kisses Emily’s hiccups away. I am starting to think Ben really likes Emily.
Somehow we get to Ben, Emily and Kate gathered around Kyle while he plays some of his videos from when he was traveling Europe ( while homeless) dancing at gay pride in silver hot pants. Then he says, “I came out to my dad during this song.” BANG. Kyle says he is bi and often dates transexuals. He has a transexual lover he sees off and on back home. Ben seems confused to Kyle clarifies, ” She’s got a meat and two veg, yeah.” They show a photo of his girlfriend and she is STUNNING. Not just pretty, super hot. Everyone in this group is super supportive. Especially Kate.
Next week is the drag queen cruise. This is right up Kyle’s alley so to speak. However, Ben feeds Kyle sea urchin and he has a huge allergic reaction. Hopefully, there is an epipen on board.