Sorry for the delay in putting this up. I often think of things I want to write about during the week and then when the weekend comes, I have nothing. I’ve been on a weird emotional roller coaster where everything seems worthy of a huge emotional response. Take today for example. I had bad dreams again last night. Not scary dreams, just all kinds of dreams where I was in profoundly sad situations or frustrating situations. Yesterday my face felt like I had been sobbing for hours, I had not, but you know how your face feels weird after a long cry? It felt like that.
Last night I got the Project Runway recap and decided to do it first thing this morning. It’s the hardest post of the week every week. For the best possible post, we need at least the six photos of the top and bottom three. Every year it is hard as hell to even find the photos. This year, CJ Bomb finds the photos and writes the blog so that is fantastice. But the photos are all different sizes and the stupid Project Runway backdrop for the runway is horrific and they have to be scaled and the cropped and then sometimes scaled again. Then it is so fucking hard to post photos on WordPress because what you see in the editor is not what you see when the piece is published. Anyway, I was having problems. I had problems a couple a weeks ago, and I solved them and I felt accomplished. I’d learned some new tricks. I was proud of myself. Today, when faced with the same struggle I was highly irritable, and frustrated and just wanted to say fuck it all. I was madder than a wet hen. But I finally got it up, it looks great and I’m still bitching about it hours later. Even though, I learned even more about irregularly shaped photos and I’m getting really good at them, my attitude was completely different.
Then, I sat down and watched some Hotel Impossible. This is a great show on The Travel Channel that just started a new season. Anthony basically makes over small hotels. I guess that doesn’t sound great but it is. You learn about new cities and their tourism, and Anthony is probably the man on reality TV with the biggest heart. He’s also very no nonsense. I love when it is in season, and it is the show I watch on Saturday because it puts me in a good mood. I cried over a hotel. Cried. Because the hotel was so clean and cute and the hotel owner was so nice and dedicated. Um. Okay. I even Googled the hotel in Deadwood, Arizona to check on the guy. He’s getting rave reviews and doing much better. Um what is wrong with me?
Anyway, I’m just all in my feelings FOR NO FUCKING REASON. I think I need to go get my hormones checked again. In the scope of life, I have things pretty good. I just wish my emotions matched my thoughts.
Moving on. I met a great surgeon this week. I feel great about that. Again, when I left the office I was super happy. Because nothing is just good or bad anymore everything is horrendous or fantastic. If I could have picked one thing to be fantastic it would have been finding a great surgeon. So, um YAY! I don’t know when my surgery will be, but it will be soon and I will tell you about it after I am fully recovered.
The weather has been fantastic at least from what I see looking out the window. I was supposed to go to the bank on Friday and forgot and I meant to get out into the world today but every little thing has been a PITA today and I missed my daylight window. I really do need to at least get to Whole Foods tomorrow. I’ve been out of my sanity water for a while. Which is probably my whole problem. I generally go to Whole Foods once a month and because of some other issues, I’m way far behind and have been eating some crap.
Sorry I am rambling. One of my dreams last night was that I was talking to people and they could not understand what I was saying. I noticed that I am struggling more with my writing and the use of the wrong word is becoming more frequent.
Getting old ain’t for pussies.
Now a lot of you have some updates you need to tell us about! I’ve been thinking about so many of you all week! And remember this is an OPEN FORUM to talk about anything. Just don’t spoil any TV shows, movies or books!