I’m particularly retarded tonight. As in I am slow, lagging behind mentally, and just a mess, so this recap will likely be retarded as well, as in delayed. If you are offended by this please stop by the commenting rules on your way out. Thanks.
It’s time to play pass the Emily again. I do not understand this, don’t men normally like the mentally ill blond? Why are they shunning Sierra? It’s like Spring Break for adults, crew. You are not picking a wife here. Furthermore, I don’t think anyone ON PLANET EARTH is buying this shitty Ben and Emily storyline. It’s Sofa King ridic.
And then there is my Captain. I love Captain Lee and have never much care for Kelley but this storyline is making him look like kind of a dick. And not in the good way. This is a decent deck crew. But whatevs. Captain Lee gives him a mild bitching out.
Ben, again with the Aunt Jemima? Dude. Just say no to high fructose corn syrup if you are going to pretend to be some sort of culinary god at sea. That said, I would totally eat that. yum. I get the feeling the newbies are not as keyed into storyline as the others. But please write to the companies that sell things with HFCS and tell them to stop. The reason we have it is because for some reason our government subsides corn farmers. Now you would think that the government helping our farmers would be a good thing. But no. I challenge you to go one month with no HFCS in you diet this will eliminate all fast food, and pretty much everything else that is not a one ingredient food. Ketchup? nope. Things you don’t even think have it. HAVE IT. Because of our government. This is why when you travel the world other food tastes weird. Even meat. The more you know #RAINBOW.
I have such itchy travelers feet tonight. Must renew passport.
Kyle tells shares about leaving home at 15 and making his own life. I kind of love him. I am so proud of him for being on this shit show. Unfortunately, Kate uses his stories to sick Sierra on him. NOE. Sierra is not good enough for Kyle.
I can’t with the fake Kelly, Ben, Emily storyline.
I don’t understand how production thinks this storyline is going to make us happy. Kyle and whatshername fishing? OTOH who knew a guy could look so unexpectedly attractive in hot pink? And why does he have a hot pink shirt? Not shockingly at all, Sierra is a bitch.
Emily is SO NOT Ben’s type. She’s just not with the ponytail on the back of her head.
Ben and Kyle bond over their love of sketchy bitches.
I hate this fake storyline, did I mention I am retarded? I really am, Head full of cotton. Not a good recapping day. Usually I try to play along with the storyline.
If I were on this cruise, I’d either go gay for Lauren, because how hot is she? Or go for Kyle. I don’t get how the guys overlook Lauren. She’s gorgeous. Even Captain Lee treats her like shit. I get he likes blonds but come on. LOOK AT HER.
We end with a sweet scene with the captain and the felon who can do no wrong enjoying some wine. There was pizza on the floor leading up to the crew mess. I’m sure that is something the captain of the boat on their off day checks out. PLEASE. And someone interrupts with the sandwich maker on fire. Seriously. Remember when this was a show?
I understand Ben’s French. That means it’s horrifically spoken with a foreign accent.
Captain Lee is in for a very rude awakening with Kate.