I really can’t believe there is more, and supposedly even worse dram to come on this bus. Heather seems to think that there is something that Kelly can do at this point to justify the horrific, cunty, bullying from last week and that she will somehow come off looking much better this episode.
Nevertheless, we’re in this mess now, and we have to see how it ends I suppose. In other news, Tamra supposed leaked photos of Vicki’s boobs on to the Internet. They’re really not that wonky.
So we start with drunk Heather. We don’t see much drunk Heather on the show, but everyone except Kelly and Meghan are drunk as hell on this shuttle ride. Drunk Heather’s true elitist condescension is spewing out of her like water out of a fire hydrant as she calls Kelly trash over and over again. Vicki finally says, “Let’s be quiet. It’s three a.m.” It’s not much but it is something. In her confessional, Meghan says she wants to stand up for Kelly but she has no idea what has been happening because she’s been on her own sober, pregnant lady tour of Ireland blissfully unaware of most of it.
Once again, I am confused by the editing. Suddenly, Shannon pops off at Vicki and I guess blaming her for being Kelly’s friend. Then she says that Vicki said bad things about her too. Vicki says the only thing she said was she doesn’t like it when Kelly drinks and gets angry. Kelly points out she hasn’t had a thing to drink and I think sort of misunderstands Vicki and gets angry at her as well. So then she drops THE BIG SECRET VICKI HAD ON SHANNON. She says that Vicki said that David beats the shit out of her, and “it’s all out there!” Well of course it is all out there. We talked about it here. Shannon can deny it all she wants in her confessional but it was all in the tabloids and it is public record that David had a domestic violence charge against Shannon and at least one if not two DUIs. Heather jumps up goes toward Shannon with her bony ass finger jabbing the air and Shannon is crying hysterically yelling at Kelly. Vicki looks deflated because she knows it is true and she told Kelly.
Vicki says that what happened was when David intimidated her at the Mrs. Roper party where Shannon set up Kelly the first time, Vicki said she was afraid of David. Kelly asked if she thought he would physically attack her. She said yes, she was afraid he would hit her just like he hit his wife. Seems reasonable to me. Shannon is still denying that it happened.
Shannon screams at Vicki and talks about how she has renewed her vows with David and put the family together and her kids call her Aunt Vicki. She is losing her mind in a blind rages. And then, our little Christian shit disturber, Tamra pipes up and says to Vicki ever so innocently, “But why would you say he hit Shannon?” Because that is what Jesus would do.
Heather moves up next to Tamra to be right in Vicki’s face. She says, ” Stupid bitch, listen to me, that was not okay.She’s got fucking kids. You don’t do that. Are you fucking kidding me? ” Heather is deranged. She may be having a psychotic break. And this is the behavior that she thinks is going to make her look better? Really Heather? I wish I had screen grabs of your evil face while you are calling women “stupid bitches” and “trash.” You make Tamra look downright saintly. When is a good time to point out that this heated discussion between Shannon, Kelly and Vicki has nothing to do with Heather?
Meanwhile, Tamra the UberChristian asks Vicki, who is currently being nailed to the cross like Jesus was, if Shannon told her anything else. No wait, She was asking Kelly if Vicki “fed her anything else.” Tamra seems worried for herself and what Kelly knows about her. The mikes don’t pick up on what Kelly said to Tamra until after she confronts Vicki. Then you see that Kelly says ” I DIDN’T say that Eddie cheated.”
And now Tamra goes fucking batshit and screams fuck you at Vicki, one inch from her face. Oh then the Eddie Judge is gay rumor is suddenly Vicki’s fault. I kinda think that gay men started that rumor, but the back of hyenas are so intent on feeding on Vicki now, facts don’t matter.
Drunk Heather stumbles up the bus to Meghan and says in the most sanctimonious way possible, ” I’m sorry your beautiful trip was ruined by trash.” Wow. I’d rather have angry drunk Kelly than possessed by Satan yet still sanctimonious and condescending drunk Heather. He puts her hands on Meghan’s cheek and goes in for a kiss and it seems Meghan is afraid Heather is going to bite her throat. Heather asks if she is okay. She says, “Yes, it’s just so meant.” Meghan means them. The Trois de Cunt as a commenter so rightly named them last week. Yet Heather would never assume that and replies, ” Yes, she’s mean. She’s damaged. She’s got problems. I just feel sad for her.” This blessing of the pregnant woman by the evil crone goes on a long time and Meghan looks scared to death. Heather’s hand is cupping her face and she is looming over her the entire time. Cut to Meghan’s confessional, “Heather is deflecting her role in this whole debacle. It’s conniving. And I see right through it. It’s disappointing.”
Seven minutes into the episode and 930 words into this blog, they arrive at the airport. Heather dictates to Shannon and Tamra that they are to shun the other girls and pretend like they don’t know them. One of them is “sick” I suppose that is Vicki since Tamra said it.
That ends the bus ride. And this portion of the recap. I am going to start the rest of the episode in a new post because this one is over a thousand words already and I am eight minutes in and very behind.