Okay y’all. I’ve got my big girl panties back on and I’m ready to blog Below Deck. Thanks for all the nice shit y’all said. I’m not very good at receiving that, but I tried to take it all in. I’m quite comfortable being blunt and honest. So I should say that I’m not literally wearing my big girl panties or any panties for that matter because it was hot today and fat chicks and the heat and the nylon around the leg holes? No thank you. But in the metaphorical sense, sure.
Before the episode even starts, I can tell you me and Captain Lee are not going to get along tonight. I love me some Captain Lee. I love his no bullshit, straightforward take on things. He’s got a very kind soul under all of that bravado. But we part ways when it comes to Kate. We just do. And I anticipate that we are going to part ways with regard to Kelley tonight. I really do think he tends to turn a blind eye to Kate’s issues. But he’s friends with her, so it is what it is. I say this in advance of the show because someone tweeted me negatively about him on Twitter. And THAT will not fly with me. Captain Lee is all kinds of awesome. I won’t tolerate any trash talk about him in general. But, that doesn’t mean I am not going to call him out here from time to time. Okay, let’s do this!
We are back on the day off. Ben’s fake “I’m jealous of Ro” storyline is absurd. And because last week when I mentioned the Kate and Ro romance someone felt it necessary to tell me that Kate is in a big criminal case now for assaulting Ro, I’m just going to direct those people to click here for all of that. I can only speak credibly about things I see on the show.
I don’t understand Emily. She’s not drawing any boundaries with Kelley. I believe the term for that is leading him on. You have to stop a man from lying between your legs, unless you want him there. You can’t allow all of his advances and then complain about his advances. Is she 12? Speaking of 12, Nico can’t get enough of the lesbian makeouts. But he is 12 so that’s normal behavior.
Production continues not to show Ro’s face. Which is weird. Is she wanted in 37 states or something?
Captain Lee tells Kelley to be more proactive with the guests. For the first time in Below Deck history, an employee is allowed to have a female lover on the boat. Double standard? I hope someone screen shot Ro’s split second walk of shame.
Things I have learned from this show. If you are rich, don’t make the crew put the slide it. It’s so not worth it.
Kyle and Sierra go off to send money to his daughter. Normal people would find this a noble gesture. Sierra mentally decides to dump him.
It’s Valentine’s Day cruise. And it is a surprise proposal. What could possibly go wrong?
Kate convinces Ben to send Emily flowers because she has never received any. #Meddling
Captain Lee is getting the grouchy edit this season. It’s like production wants to highlight his favoritism of Kate. The latest example is Captain Lee telling Kelley to clean the crew mess where there was sushi strategically left out by production the night before. Do we REALLY NEED all of this made up drama?
It’s probably a good thing that Emily has never gotten a floral arrangement before because that was the most hideous bouquet in the history of the world. Thank god the only men who send me flowers is gay. Because this was just ungodly. But Emily is immediately ready to give it up. So it worked like a charm.
Ben, chef of boxed cake mixes, thinks he can make a red velvet cake? And he tried to make them cupcakes? Which he burned?
Insert random fake drama about the pool and the tinder here. So manufactured by production. Everyone is pissed about Kelley putting the pool in before the guests asked for it.
So the bride said yes before even looking at the ring. Amateur.
Kyle chartered a boat to take Sierra on a fishing date. And she invited everyone else. So he is pissed.
Ben asks Emily to dinner…that will be next week.