Last week we had a lovely episode of RuPaul’s Best Friends Race, All Stars edition. With this season’s villain gone baby gone, all the girls were loving and supportive of each other. It was all unicorns and glitter, disco balls and cotton candy. Or it was until an undercover snake reared her ugly head. Alaska Thunderfuck sent Tatianna home instead of the more deserving Roxxxy Andrews. The horror! The duplicity! Doesn’t she realize how serious this is? A woman’s life was on the line! I know, let’s spam her social media pages with snake emojis and send her death threats. That’ll teach her! Hisssss… Or we could act like adults who are watching a heavily produced reality game show and calm the fuck down. But what’s the fun in that?
So yeah, many in drag fandom lost their shit over last week’s elimination. Tatianna was robbed, no question, but death threats? Seriously? I’m curious to see how the other queens took it, and who Katya would have sent home had she won, so let’s jump right into the new episode. Tatianna gets a big cheer as they read her message on the mirror (“Had a BLAST! I Love you ALL! They got me Gurl! Lol Thankx! ♡ Tati“). Roxxxy thanks Alaska for saving her and the rest of the girls seem salty about it. Alaska tries to justify her decision (there is no RoLaskaTox, Tatianna wasn’t here the whole time, Roxxxy lent me a t-shirt, yadda yadda yadda) but the whole thing rings false. Katya pulls out Roxxxy’s lipstick and Alaska seems shocked. Girl, seriously? Shocked? Puh-lease. They count out their wins (Alaska 4, Alyssa 2, Detox 2, Katya 2, Roxxxy 1) and Detox is frustrated she’s not doing better. I don’t get it either. I think Detox has been killing it all season. Then we get a monologue from Alaska about how well she’s doing and how the other girls want to see her fail. First of all, production is being shady considering everything that’s going on with the Alaska hate this week. And secondly, anytime anyone says something like this on a reality show, they shortly walk out the door. Screw you, foreshadowing! Stop playing with my head.
RuPaul starts things off on a low note. Drag queens often have to create their own families because their birth families don’t understand them. “So when I recently reached out with an invitation to your moms and sisters, I’m sorry to say that not one of them accepted my invitation.” Cue sad music. Cue sad faces. “They ALL did!” Oh, Ru. You sneaky goat! Tabatha, Alyssa’s sister walks into the workroom. She looks so normal. I guess Alyssa got all of the drama gene in that family. She’s followed by Alaska’s mom Pam, who fangirls when she sees RuPaul. Detox’s sister Heather is adorable and Detox is moved to tears. The anniversary of their father’s death was the week before so this visit means a lot to Detox. Katya introduces her pink-haired mother Pat with, “My mom! I hate that fucking cunt!” But you can tell she’s lying. Roxxxy is joined by her grandmother Sonia, the woman who actually raised her. She calls herself “Team Roxxxy” and is wearing the tshirt to prove it. So many feelings. I think my allergies are acting up again. And now for the challenge: they have to dragify their relatives as members of their royal drag family. #DragFamilyValues.
Some of the girls jump right into work but Katya wants to kiki with her mom. They are twinsies, for sure! Too cute. Katya decides they should be a sexy Russian trophy bride with her peasant mother. Her mom asks, “And who am I?” Funny runs in the family. Alyssa and her sister last saw each other at their mother’s funeral the year before. This makes the challenge especially hard for them. “Mom would have loved to do this. She would’ve…” You can tell that Alyssa’s sister isn’t comfortable being on camera but she chose to support her brother anyway. And they need the time to mourn together. Damn you, RuPaul! So many allergies. Katya runs over to meet Roxxxy’s grandma and Roxxxy introduces her as her mom (your mom is the one who raised you whether she birthed you or not). She is so proud of Roxxxy, she can’t stop bragging. She even tells Katya that Roxxxy graduated high school. “High expectations!” Roxxxy jokes. Roxxxy points out that her mom even made her own tshirt for the occasion. Alaska tells us that when she first started drag her mom was scared she was a crossdressing, drug addicted prostitute. “Which I was.” Her mom is really proud of her sobriety. You know, this challenge is a trip for me. I feel like I know these drag queens but then I see the people who actually know and love them and it helps me see them as more complete human beings. #DeepThoughts. #Allergies.
RuPaul checks on everyone’s progress. Katya’s mom immediately cracks him up (twinsies). He asks the most shocking thing she learned by watching Katya on Drag Race. She talks about how open Katya was about her struggle with anxiety. “Hearing that heartache… I mean, I knew it but to see it so raw, that was a shot to my heart.” And she thanks RuPaul for her counsel. RuPaul points out that Katya is the only queen left that isn’t from season five. Yeah, she knows. And she’s a little nervous that if she falls into the bottom two (especially against any part of RoLaskaTox) she will be going home. When Detox was younger, he lived with his sister for a time. “And she kind of encouraged me to come out and live my life as who I am, helped me blossom as a young artist and a freak and a weirdo.” With Roxxxy’s mom, RuPaul brings up Roxxxy’s runway breakdown about her birth mother abandoning her. Roxxxy’s mom thinks it was probably good for her to get it out so she could move on. And she claims she’ll do anything to help Roxxxy win. “Whatever it takes. Oh, yeah. Stand up on my head.” What a loving woman! RuPaul points out that Alyssa’s sister doesn’t seem very flashy and she wonders where Alyssa got it from. Their mom. By forcing her to deal with her feelings about losing her mother, this challenge is going to transform Alyssa’s life. On his way out the door, RuPaul drops a bomb: in addition to their drag transformation, each family has to vogue on the mainstage. This should be fun!
Hmmm. I can’t decide if I love or hate RuPaul’s tinman runway look. It might be the scarecrow hair that is throwing me off. Guest judge (and grown up Daria come to life) Aubrey Plaza joins Michelle Visage, Carson Kressley and Todrick Hall on the judging panel.
It’s time to vogue. Alyssa and Ava Edwards are showgirls in tight black bodysuits. Alyssa is living the vogue but Ava looks like she wants to curl up and die. Alaska and Hawaii are teenage Carrie Bradshaws (and yes, Hawaii is wearing an Alaska tshirt). Their vogue is messy and dirty. I don’t think Alaska is winning this round. Maybe I spoke too soon. Alaska dives under Hawaii’s skirt and comes out wearing her horse head. Detox and D-Rama look like they’re ready for the cabaret. Their vogue is tight and damn, they really look alike. Katya and Svetlana Boris are both tacky, tacky, tacky (on purpose). I love Katya but it’s not my favorite look (I wish they’d stuck to their original plan). Svetlana is doing Katya moves but she leaves the jump into splits to the professional. Roxxxy and Raquel Andrews are wearing Carol Channing’s suit, turtleneck and blond hair. We barely see any of their vogue but I think that’s because Roxxxy’s mom has some trouble walking.
Ooh, they change looks for the runway presentation. Alyssa and Ava Edwards are doing red and black outfits. Ava has loosened up a little (she was probably nervous to dance and once she got that out of the way could enjoy herself more). Alaska and Hawaii are opposites in black and white dresses, boas and hats. It makes me miss Nebraska. Alaska loves gimmicks so they hold up a “hieeee!” sign. Detox and D-Rama are my favorite so far. They’re wearing geometric prints and huge eyes. Katya is wearing an amazing Chrissy Snow wig and seventies dress and Svetlana is a terrified peasant. Yay! They did it. This is the look I really wanted to see. Roxxxy and Raquel Andrews are doing leopard print, of course. Raquel can’t move very well but she’s bringing it anyway. I mean, she is an Andrews.
Yikes. Their family is on stage for the critiques. I hope they can handle it. Aubrey Plaza calls Alyssa and Ava Edwards’ vogue “a weird, like, birds of death nightmare that I never wanted to end.” Michelle points out that Alyssa’s vogue look had too much going on (“even for you”) but she loves the runways looks. Todrick enjoyed Alaska and Hawaii’s vogue but Michelle isn’t letting her get away with anything this week. In the vogue Hawaii was wearing flip flops (what would Lisa Vanderpump say?) and her runway look is basically a piece of fabric wrapped around a corset. Michelle calls it lazy and I have to agree. Uh oh. This may be Alaska’s swansong. Todrick thinks Detox and D-Rama’s performance was the most cohesive and Carson loves their runway looks. Oh my god! They’re wearing origami fascinators. Detox has to win this one. Michelle wasn’t impressed with Katya and Svetlana Boris’ vogueing but loves the runway storyline. Everyone is gushing and Carson calls it Real Housewives of Minsk. Michelle adds that Katya’s mom stole the show which makes both of them happy. Aubrey thinks Roxxxy and Raquel Andrews’ vogue suits were totally hot but Carson thinks the runway looks need more. Todrick flirts with Roxxxy’s mom and she eats it up.
Top queens: Detox and Katya
Bottom queens: everyone who isn’t in the top (therefore Alaska, Alyssa and Roxxxy)
This is a big elimination because they’re deciding who makes it to the finals. Detox feels extra pressure because everyone did so good this challenge. Alaska disagrees. “I didn’t do great this challenge. I got really terrible critiques and I fucked up and I feel terrible about it. And I’m sorry that I won so much.” Shut up, Alaska! Just shut your pie hole. Alyssa and Roxxxy are both shocked that she’s saying it but look like they agree. Luckily, Katya and Detox try to calm her down. She’s cracking up, big time. Detox is torn because Alaska did terrible but has been killing it overall. And Roxxxy has been her bestie for thirteen years. She wants to eliminate Alyssa but doesn’t know if she can justify it.
Alyssa pulls Roxxy into her one-on-one with Detox. That’s a little shady. She’s telling Roxxxy, in front of Detox (as her plea), that if it was up to her she’d send Roxxxy home. And she’s not wrong. Roxxxy has been in the bottom five out of seven challenges. Alyssa is pushing her consistency agenda. Roxxxy looks shocked. She thought Alyssa called her over to gang up on Alaska. Although Roxxxy doesn’t think she deserves to be in the bottom this week Alyssa eventually wears her down and she kind of admits she’s the worst of the bunch. But it might not make a difference. As Alyssa points out, Roxxxy is Detox’s “good Judy.” Alaska is talking to Katya wigless. This is a drag breakdown. But she is fighting to stay. Katya gives her an Adore Delano “party” but she’s too strung out to see it as an olive branch. It’s awkward. And now Alaska is yelling. Not at anyone other than herself but it’s super awkward. Oh, I just realized something. Maybe she’s playing up her breakdown so the others will think she’s no longer focused and therefore not as much of a threat. I mean, I think the breakdown is real but maybe exaggerated. Well, it’s not working. Now it’s just pissing people off. And now she’s offering $10,000 (before taxes) to Detox to keep her in the game. Loudly. Very, very loudly. It’s not a good look. And now she’s crying. This episode is just too emotional for me.
LIP-SYNC FOR YOUR LEGACY
Detox has changed outfits. I don’t understand why they’re allowed to do that. Although she didn’t choose an easy outfit so I guess she shouldn’t lose any points for it this time. They perform Step It Up by RuPaul featuring David Audé. They don’t know the words very well but RuPaul is so proud of her song she might not notice. Detox is stripping. Then she turns and shows us her exposed buttocks (flashback to season five, y’all). Even Katya reacts. In the lounge, Detox’s sister says, “Wow. I’m so glad he didn’t make me wear that.” Katya was doing great but Detox threw her off a little. Detox wants this win. Bad. Detox wins! And she deserves it. Officially. But now she has to eliminate someone. She explains that Alaska has been slaying the entire competition, Alyssa has also been slaying and then you have Roxxxy, her bff who doesn’t deserve to be in the bottom this week. So she eliminates Alyssa. RuPaul actually gasps. Todrick looks like he’s ready to cry. Alyssa takes it like a true lady but her sister totally falls apart. I hope Detox enjoys her death threats.
Next week: It’s the finals, hunty! The queens will write original rap lyrics and perform as a girl group. We’ll get a reunion (maybe without Phi Phi O’Hara) and the winner of All Stars will be crowned.
And don’t forget RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Behind the Scenes, right here on TamaraTattles!
Holy shit y’all, this BtS breaks my cold, black heart…. ~tt