It’s past time for the RHOOC episode. Due to an emergency at Tamara Tattles Headquarters yesterday, I was unavailable. You can read all about that in my day long meltdowns at the end of comments here. We have comedy in the initial post and doom and despair in the comments. Now on to the show!
Shannon is moving and worried about rat poop and feng shui. I had my eyes on the TV and my ears were working but I tuned out completely. I assume I didn’t miss much other than Shannon hates the rental. I had a really cool dream last night and I keep thinking about it. Sorry. I’ll try to focus.
For some reason we need a montage of memories in the house. Mostly about the affair of course. Later, David and Shannon go to dinner. David looks pained in every scene. David tries to make it clear that he is not supporting her mother’s outburst. Shannon has a smug smile when David tells her that he told his mother she had to respect Shannon or she could not be around the family. Shannon orders ribs and then complains because they are messy.
Eddie takes Tamra out for dinner. I am not sure what kind of place they are at, but Tamra breaks her training diet for sake. So I’m thinking it’s going to be one of those bait shops folks in California like so much. But then they start eating hot peppers. Just crunchy hot peppers. Weird. And then the sashimi comes. Which, as I understand it is bait that they sort of cook but not really. I could be wrong. Or maybe all of California is wrong.
If we have to put up with Kelly and Michael to get to see this beach house, I’m fine with that. As someone who has to do all the home fix it shit herself, I’m pretty sure I would not bitch at whoever came to do mine. And then I remember the last guy who tried to do helpful home fix it stuff, and remember, they totally have no idea how to do anything really. I don’t find this fight believable.
Who told the OC Housewives that middle aged women need to wear trucker hats? Kelly and Michael still have marital problems. Kelly’s mom talks with her about Tamra’s custody issues with Simon. Kelly seems like she is afraid to divorce because she’s worried she could lose her kid.
I can’t believe what I am seeing. I am at a loss for words. Vicki is still lying? Why does she think this is a good idea? I try to stick by Vicki, the real OG of all housewives, but my God. She doesn’t know when to sit down and regroup. By the way, when I was teaching I always bought the cancer policy. On the Affordable Healthcare choices I had, there was no option for a cancer supplement.
Meghan is officially the designated fake owner of a store for RHOOC. I hate these fake store storylines. The store is beautiful though.
Jim is actually in town to go to the OB with Meghan. They find out there is just one baby. Meghan is devastated. I actually feel sorry for Meghan. This was a super sad scene.
Tamra’s Cabana Day
The Glamis four, as Tamra calls them, are having a spa day thrown by Tamra to celebrate the fact that she didn’t actually kill anyone. They have a Club Mud which is a giant hot tub with a mud turtle they use to rub mud all over themselves. Heather points out the play on words because clearly she is the only one who gets it. Or at least that is what she thinks.
They fill Heather in on the drama with David’s mom. David’s mom was quite fond of David’s mistress. Apparently, the relationship was deeper than we thought. David and his sidepiece would go to family dinner at his mom’s house. The mistress was also friend with David’s sister. His family was allegedly pissed he didn’t divorce Shannon. A lot of this information is coming from Heather and Vicki. Great friends they are. Vicki makes it seem like Donn had an affair, but wasn’t it her that cheated at or maybe both of them?
Kelly and Vicki talk about Kelly’s marriage. It was her ten year anniversary. Vicki tries to counsel Kelly to stick it out. Kelly is crying and she tells a story where Michael screamed at her to shut up. Look, I’ve never been married, but I imagine there are plenty of time a married couple might raise their voices and tell the other to shut up. And when it comes to Kelly, she has a history of screaming at everyone. It’s reasonable to assume she has screamed at Michael. In case you missed it, she recently had a meltdown at PUMP. In other news, it was a couple nights ago, Kelly and Shannon were going nuts on Twitter. I’m not sure exactly what happened but Shannon also randomly struck out at Gretchen and Lizzie telling them both they are not relevant and that is why neither of them are on the show. There have been so many bizarre fights on Twitter lately I could spend all my time recapping those.
At lunch Kelly cries some more about Michael ignoring their anniversaries. Tamra says in confessional that now she understands why Kelly has a such a short fuse. Tamra also suggests that she not divorce because they (guys like Michael and Simon) will just make life even worse. Kelly says her mom says she needs to get divorced. That is not at all what I saw her mom saying.
I am so ready to get to Ireland where Tamra has her annual international meltdown.