Spoiler alert, Abby is filming season seven now and recently ranted against production about them not including Minis in Season 7. We are now in season six b and this is the last time we will be seeing them. What are your thoughts on that?
This week, the minis are back with a new mom and a new girl named Lily. Jill is at least being fake nice to the moms. Even though she lets us know she hates the minis and the moms. I used to like Jill. But she’s taken the bitch thing too far.
OMG. I don’t know why I am laughing but Abby comes in on a walker. What has she done to herself now? Abby got knee surgery the she has been putting off so she will be in fighting shape for prison. I really hope she doesn’t have to go to prison. Her fraud was pretty much just tax evasion. She didn’t steal money from banks under false pretenses or leave anyone high and dry that she owed money to. Apparently, she just hid some money in her mother’s account, or didn’t report her inheritance from her mother or something. The is a case currently being tried that is expected to set a precedent regarding prison time for “zero sum loss” cases where no one (expect the IRS) lost money. The penalty would be paying the money owed with hefty fines and perhaps some probation. I think if the IRS is repaid, and people suffer financially for their tax evasion in a serious way, we can all save ourselves from feeding and housing them. However, if they spent all their money on hookers and blow or benefited from their fraud in some way then give them some time in the pokey. What do you think?
Holly goes in at pyramid on Abby for flipping her off last week. Abby actually apologizes. Nia is on top of the pyramid. She has strep this week.The mini who did the sappy tribute to her disabled brother is on top for hers. Peyton is the only mini I care about. She’s the one who cries and is always a beat or three behind. I’m rooting for the underdog.
The group dance is a Prince tribute. They suck at tributes. The just did Madonna and it was terrible. Some of the girls have never heard of Prince. JoJo and Brynn have a duet. Jess hates Brynn and her mother so this will be interesting. Kendall and Nia also have a duet. Kalani is not getting used much lately. I find that weird. Especially since Nia is sick. Although, the duet is supposed to be a Lady Gaga and Beyonce duet and the only time Abby every gives Nia anything is when she is playing a black person. It would not be a regular episode of Dance Moms if my girl didn’t get pigeonholed. Nia on the other hand is thrilled to play her idol in a dance, sick or not.
Meanwhile, Abby has set up the mini moms to bitch at each other about which daughter should “wear the crown” as the lead dancer on the mini team. The Chola mini mom and one of the blond bitchy moms nearly have a fight in the parking lot. #Klassy
Nia asks Abby if she can push the duet a week or two until she is 100% She wants to do the duet when she can give it her all. Abby seemed fine with it and then Kendall throws Nia to the wolves and says that she could do it with Kalani. The competition is tomorrow. In her talking head, Kendall acts like she is nervous about the duet because Kalani is just being tossed in. Whose fault is that Kendall? And of course Kalani can’t do a Beyonce inspired duet. Because, Abby so now they have to make it something else. There is just too much wrong with all of this. Did I mention they are dancing with a phone cord as a prop and how Kendall sucks with basic props?
The bitchy blond mom who nearly brawled in the parking lot gets into it with Abby before the competition because the minis were told to do their prep in another room. Abby nearly throws her girl out of the dance. Abby goes off on her for saying no one knows what she gave up to be there. After she leaves Abby talks about he shitty house, her shitty husband and her shitty life. Wow, Abby. As Jo Jo pointed out there are kids in the room, and it’s really not a good look for you, Prison Nerves or not.
Kendall and Kalani
Kendall apologizes to Kalani for getting her thrown into the dance. It seems they both know it’s going to be a crappy attempt. Surprisingly, all goes well. I found the title “Disconnected” to be kind of dumb for a dance where they were quite literally connected. But this should score well.
Jo Jo and Brynn
This duet is a mirror image dance. It seems like that alone makes it a more difficult duet. I was kind of bored. It didn’t seem very mirror image like to me. Abby seemed to like both routines. I was not impressed by this and these are two of my favorite dancers.
The mini group dance is a beauty pageant number. The winner will be crowned at the end of the dance. The winning mini has not been decided. Abby is going to pick one now, backstage, just before they all go out. Does anyone else see any problems with this last minute audition for lead dancer five minutes before the dance? Abby picks Arriana, the Chola mom’s kid for the part. The blond bitch is going to lose her mind. Abby lets us know that the blond bitch lost the part for her kid when she mouthed off to Abby backstage. Live and learn entitled blond bitch. Plus, Arriana is adorbs. I am sad that my girl Tiff didn’t even seem to be in the running. #Robbed I may have to beat up the winning kid’s mom in the parking lot.
The girls all have sashes with Miss SomethingOrAnother on it. One girl is Miss Kicker. Which is weird enough, but when she dances you can’t see the M or the I so you see ” ss Kicker.” Yes I literally had to rewind to see if it said Ass Kicker. I thought it might be an Abby slam at the violent mother. The girls are a LOT better than last season and the dance was cute. Of course, Tiffany was the best and will be completely undervalued. Did you see her tumbling feature? Come, on!
I hate the purple capes. Hate them. The dance was weird because we know they are dancing to Purple Rain yet we are hearing some made for the show facsimile music. I’m sure they will score high with the real music and the recentness of Prince’s death. But I was not impressed. Abby, on the other hand loved it. Ashlee says it is one of her favorite routines they’ve ever done.
Brynn and Jo Jo won first in Pre-Teen Solos.
Kendall and Kalani won first in Teen Solos.
The Minis won first in Mini Group.
The Teens won in second in Teen Group. I think that was generous.
Abby gives the bitch blond mom the “Everyone’s Replaceable Speech.” The other minis tell bitchy blond mom that it was her mouth that lost her kid the crown.
Next Week: More women behaving badly on national TV.