When Andy Cohen is the kindest, most respectable person on the WWHL stage, you know he has two truly loathsome guests. I’m going to focus on Bethenny because I refuse to acknowledge the existence of the other guest. Should I need to refer to him, I’ll call him Cowpie. I can’t believe I am going to endure another half an hour with Bethenny, but let’s get this over with quickly.
Captain Obvious is the bartender. I am sure Minky will have a clever comment about this, but my mind has melted.
Bethenny loves Cowpie. He has her phone number. Then Cowpie and Andy both picked Jules as best dressed at the reunion. I wonder if Andy will address the rumor that E! started today that Jules has decided not to return. I hope that is not true, I will miss her.
Andy asks Bethenny, now that she has has time to collect her thoughts, is there anything she would like to say that she didn’t get a chance to at the reunion about Luann. This is an opportunity to make amends of sorts it would seem. Bethenny has claimed she was very sick at the reunion and given other excuses for her behavior. She has seen the backlash for two episodes. And by the way I checked her Twitter before starting this and she was retweeting people who were praising her behavior. It’s clearly mental illness and I am not saying that lightly but with all seriousness.
Bethenny responds, “I think Luann’s despicable and tragic behavior speaks for itself. I think that coming in to sort of get the stench off of you and on to someone else was just a complete falsehood. I was sick that day, I had strep and a 102 degree fever and I felt like I was hit with a two by four, like I was crawling out of a hole that I don’t know why someone dumped me in. It was crazy. That was really crazy and you and I talked later and you said ‘we would have liked to have seen more of the fun and light Bethenny,’ and I said ‘That I’m cheating…or that I’m with someone who is cheating and it could affect their entire family and flush through an entire press cycle? Yeah, No, I’m not in that much of a good mood, I’m gonna SHUT IT DOWN. I needed, I mean I was going to ask you for a lie detector test at that point.”
Well, why not go full fucking Maury Povitch and wheel out the lie detector tests? I do believe Bethenny would pass hers though because she is completely out of touch with reality. Again. I’m being dead serious. I do not believe she is sane enough to be around her child and I think that this behavior would be excellent exhibitions at a petition for full custody hearing. Her psychosis is readily apparent.
Bethenny says that over the years she has come to expect this and that she is “never surprised by Luann’s behavior being in the toilet bowl.”
I am getting tired of pointing out that Bethenny thinks her behavior is her “sharing an opinion,” and everyone else’s behavior is, “despicable, tragic and in the toilet bowl.” As a psychology major, I don’t think I have ever actually witnessed a video of anyone this mentally ill before even in my Master’s program where we did numerous case studies on the severely mentally ill. Again, I realize I am prone to hyperbole, but I am being quite literal in my assessment here. I’m both compelled and repelled witnessing this. It seems even the uber wealthy are not getting adequate mental health care in this country.
Andy has no verbal response but has that confused face he gets when the response is unexpected. Plus he is likely pissed that Bethenny shared that he was not happy with her reunion behavior.
Later Bethenny makes a comment about cocaine saying, “It snows in New York more than any other housewives city.”
Bethenny is rather maniac tonight. She says that she was texting the daughter during the reunion while Andy was talking to someone else and the daughter agreed to talk to her on the show. She did not plan it, she made the decision to call her in the moment because, “She was not going to let that despicable human being take her down or question her character because I’m not a liar, I do not lie.” The biggest liars are the one that constantly say I do not lie.
Bethenny was asked if she thinks there could ever be a physical altercation on a RHONY Reunion. Bethenny said, ” I told Andy that if I didn’t have a business, I would have grabbed Luann by the throat.” I would have loved that because Luann would have laid Bethenny out.”
Cowpie responds, “Are you serious?”
Bethenny turns to Andy, ” You saw it. You thought I was going for her. I wouldn’t have minded strangling her.”
Andy says, “When you stood up, I was concerned.”
Bethenny says, ” I know. Yeah. I wouldn’t have minded it. I might have enjoyed it.”
Andy is selling shotskis now on WWHL. He holds one up to show us and while he is pitching them Bethenny is screaming, “Andy, ANDY I need that for my bar!” Bethenny is wasted. After the shotski she sits down hard in the chair.
Bethenny is told the Jewish comment was not well received. He asks if she has any regrets about that. She goes in on Jules parenting again instead. Bethenny begins reciting a laundry list of digs about Jules. Bethenny is pissed that Jules said she lives in a 20,000 square foot house and Bethenny lives in a tiny one. Bethenny conveniently forgets this was Jules response to Bethenny’s many nasty comment’s about Jules home. She says that Jules talks a lot about money, and she doesn’t have any. The audience has an audible reaction. It’s hard to gauge what it is. As they are making noises Bethenny says about Jules…..
Wait for it……
“I thought it was in poor taste.”
I’ve never been this astounded by anything I’ve seen on television. It’s really quite frightening. Even Andy seems disturbed at this point.
On the sneak peek of next week. Bethenny finally has a freakout over why she told everyone else about Tom and made it the subject of gossip behind (and in front of ) Luann’s back all season and Bethenny jumps up and says “I don’t want to do this anymore, and takes off and leaves the set.
A caller asks if Bethenny has had any cosmetic surgery lately because she has been watching the show from the beginning. Bethenny who is not a liar and never lies says, “I didn’t, well I had my jaw injected with Botox because I have TMG and if you look a pictures of me from seven years ago you can see that its gotten smaller so I had to stop and now it hurts again.” Andy says that her jaw does look smaller. Bethenny said her face has just changed. She also says she put her eye lashes on with the ends going up a little bit this season. But she has not had any surgery.
Okay, first of all it’s TMJ. Not TMG. You know what is good for TMJ? Talking less. Kidding not. Allow your jaw to relax occasionally. Botox does not change the size of your jaw bone. Jaw shaving does. Jaw shaving surgery has a higher fatality rate than most cosmetic surgeries. Many reputable doctors won’t do it. Has she spent any time in an Asian country lately? Because that is where most people get it done. It’s done by the same doctors there who specialize in male to female gender reassignment. Again, not kidding.
Bethenny is literally all over the place. Even Cowpie is starting to realize something isn’t right. His mouth is just hanging open and the audience is giggling.
This is a shit show.
Bethenny said that she is going to see her mom probably “in the fall.” Sidenote: Guess when filming begins again? Her favorite moment was when she called out John at the bra party and accused him of being on drugs. Because that was in such good taste, wasn’t it? I was thinking this whole time that Jews everywhere are probably grateful that Bethenny isn’t Jewish, and then suddenly out of no where Bethenny announced to Andy, “Oh by the way, I’m Jewish! I just wanted to get that out there after that previous comment!: She turns to give Cowpie some deranged look. I wonder if he said something along those lines to her? Full disclosure: The triumvirate of evil is all Jewish.
Andy looks as ready for this to be over as I am. The jackhole was a statue that was apparently in between Andy and Bethenny at the reunion that looks like a giant anus. How fitting.
The poll for best dressed at the reunion goes to Sonja who was wearing Sonja Morgan New York.