Well, it’s time to get started and I was behind on Big Brother and off to a late start. If you missed Part 1 and all four thousand comments, well either count your blessings or click here.
We start tonight with the love story that Bethenny hoped would be her married man storyline. We are reminded that he is in love with her and wants to marry her and she has changed her mind about never getting married again. Carole’s response was that was too much too fast. Not at all what she wanted her minion to say. It seems if no one is going to be happy to hear Bethenny has found love then no damn body will be happy about anyone finding love this season! Both Carole and Ramona are beaming from ear to ear hearing that Bethenny is in love.
We get to hear the sob story about Bethenny’s fibroids. Bethenny gets emotional because her mother never told her about any of this stuff. I don’t think I’ve ever cried about my mother not telling me about menopause. I did cry when the crazy came and it was a lot like what my mother was like at this age. I wish I would have been kinder to her. Then she tells the reaching out to her mother story and the apartment story. I am unmoved by Bethenny’s multiple sob stories. Someone videoed her returning to the apartment. Bethenny says that basically that Dennis wants to get married so she wants to fulfill his desires. She says Dennis is amused by her bad behavior on the show.
Konichiwa and Shalom, it’s time for Jules. I admit I’ve been saying Konichiwa and Shalom since I watched this video. Of course nothing is about anyone but Bethenny this season, her whole montage is about Bethenny and Carole mocking her eating disorder. Jules is very embarrassed by the montage of Michael and his clear signs of an affair all season. Countdown until someone says the wife is always the last to know. Andy asks about her marriage and she can barely speak through her tears. She says there were problems this year and what we saw on the show doesn’t represent their ten year marriage. Andy asks about the allegation of his cheating and her somehow physically abusing him. She says you can’t believe everything you read and that she can’t talk about it.
Bethenny jumps in with her accusations that “mutual friends” told her that she had a prenup came on the show to get divorced. Even if Bethenny had friends, which she doesn’t, and some were also friends with Jules, her saying this sort of thing on national TV about someone she barely knows and cannot stand is just utterly vile behavior. Jules says that is not true, she never signed a prenup and what Bethenny is saying is not true. Jules is not allowing Bethenny to get a rise out of her. She says Bethenny heard a rumor, she’s clearing it up of her that the rumor isn’t true, not big deal. Bethenny could drop it right here. But will she? Bethenny says that it is true, she’s getting a divorce. Bethenny has to always claim she is right even when she has no idea what the fuck she is talking about.
Andy says Jules is the first housewife who has admitted they have an eating disorder. He asks if she regrets it. She says no. Jules seems most angry at Carole for her attacks on her eating disorder. Jules says that it was hurtful that Carole would say she was in denial when she took a very difficult step and admitted when the divorce started becoming evident that she threw up. It was a major milestone in her recovery that Carole belittled and continued to belittle and mock on Twitter. Jules says about the silverware in the calzone incident she was in a lot of pain, she had just gotten out of the hospital after her pistachio surgery and she was all alone with Michael god knows where and she just wanted to have fun and do something funny and it didn’t go over well. Carole tries to justify her shitty behavior. Jules is very cordial. Jules gets choked up telling Carole that unless she saw her desperate state when things were at their worst, she has no idea how far she has come. Jules says, “I was going to die.” and that shut Carole up. I should point out that Ramona’s dumb ass is interrupting with all kinds of silly interjections because no one has asked her anything yet.
Someone asked Bethenny about her mother’s eating disorder and why that caused her reaction to Jules.
Bethenny then says that she never talked about Jules eating disorder or her marriage. This woman is certifiably insane. We saw it on TV. We saw it even more on WWHL. She and Carole giggled about both issues. How can she sit there a say with dripping indignation that those things “never occurred.”
Jules respectfully tells her she is wrong. Jules gives numerous examples beginning with episode one at Catch when she called her scary skinny and said she reminded her of her mother. Now we know what was in Jules “book.” She goes through a very thorough list that didn’t even begin to touch on everything. Bethenny continues to deny the attacks and says she is just expressing her opinion. She has become even more delusional than Sonja and Ramona!
Carole now has to defend her behavior that everyone attributes to her being at Bethenny’s beck and call. This pisses Carole off because she’d rather be seen as a cunt all of her own volition than the following the leader cunt she truly is. Everyone seems to have the opinion that Carole is better than this behavior and she continues to loudly proclaim that she is not. Perhaps we should listen to her. Bethenny defends their comments about Jules’ Hamptons home being in “the bad part of town” as just two girls talking. Bethenny thinks opinions should always be expressed and that she’s not being a cunt, she is just having opinions. The fact that her “opinions” are often offensive, cruel, hurtful and unkind seems to escape her. She raises her voice to Jules and says about their opinions, “That is what we do and I’d do it again because that’s how we feel.” I don’t believe that was the royal we, I believe she was speaking for Carole, which both of them also claim never happens.
The age jokes come back to bite Jules in the butt. Both Bethenny and Carole are offended. She should just say that’s my opinion and I’d say it again. Carole says Jules said something about her mother doesn’t act like she does. Carole doesn’t get it. She’s not old enough to be Jules mother. Dorinda says, I’m 51 and Jules is 33! Newsflash, Carole is 53 and certainly old enough to be Jules mother. Bethenny says Jules is 35. Whatever. Carole is 18 years older than she is. Carole wasn’t expecting to have her age called out. LOL. She’s older than Luann and Dorinda and all of them so shut up about the mother comment, Carole.
Bethenny gets called out for dishing it out but not being able to take it. Bethenny says maybe so. Then she says that Jules did not represent Jews in a positive light! ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Seriously. Is there no boundary Bethenny will not cross when needlessly ridiculing someone? Then she goes in on her parenting skills! It just never ends with this bitch. Bethenny knows full well that all the nanny stuff with Jules was supposed to be funny. Now she is excoriating her for it.
Now Bethenny has finally gotten a rise out of Jules who yells at her, “Take a joke Bethenny! Don’t you ever just want to have some fun? ” Jules is highly offended by the comment about her representation of Jews. She tells Bethenny don’t you ever say that about me. Bethenny shoots back. “That’s how I feel and I’m going to say whatever I want!” She’s got the mentality of a three year old! Sonja says to Bethenny, “You can’t say that Bethenny” Again with the I can do what I want bullshit. Jules says, “You can do whatever you want, but I’m telling you, you’re going to look bad.” I mean we passed Bethenny looking bad about 18 train stations ago where she should have gotten off.
Recapping all of Bethenny’s nastiness make me feel nasty. I am not sure I am going to be able to finish this. Seriously. I don’t need all of this shit in my life. I can’t believe people still watch this crap.
Time for Dorinda to be attacked. Dorinda laughs about the montage of her meddling. Dorinda tells Bethenny and Carole they are mean. She lists a many of them. Bethenny again denies being mean. Dorinda says it hurt her feelings. Carole apologizes for hurting her feelings. Dorinda says that she will always stand by Jules and she felt that Bethenny and Carole were coming for Jules. As we go to break, Bethenny snaps, “Well you didn’t do her any favors” Because, the cunt will not shut up. Bethenny likes to pretend on twitter that she acts this way for ratings. But it is extremely evident that this is her real self and she is evil down to her jet black lump of coal where her soul should be.
Time for more Luann and Tom bashing. I can’t with the Berkshires again. Just reread this. Can someone explain to Sonja what “friends with benefits” means. It has nothing to do with “making love.” There was a major debate about the number and nature of Ramona’s dates with Tom. Bethenny is now saying she saw Ramona on a date and she told Bethenny it was her third date and asked if she should have sex. I know I often do that when I see friends, “Oh hi! I’m on my third date with Chris here, should I sleep with him tonight? Bethenny is just everywhere isn’t she?
Ramona has a photo of her hand with a heart drawn in pen that says RS + TD. I feel like they are in middle school and while they are in middle school, I’m in Brooklyn. I can’t.
Next is Lu gets called a liar (she does lie a good bit, but so do they all). They argue about how many times Sonja slept with Tom. They want an exact answer. She finally says five times. In ten years. More like five time in a couple weeks. Sonja gets up and hugs Luann at after they declare how much the value each other’s friendship and wish the best for each other. Bitter Bethenny mumbles, “This is a weird universe.” She disgusted that they are still friends after her season long tirade to destroy them both.
I literally cannot distinguish sounds anymore. I have no idea what they are talking about. Ramona pulls out some stupid site’s story about Ramona and Tom dating. Bethenny randomly screams LIEANN!
Sonja implies that Tom told Sonja that if she didn’t say they were only together once she is not going to be friend with Tom and Luann. Andy asks if they thinks Luann will get married.
Next Week: Sonja fulfills the mandatory woman stomping off the stage requirement, and it looks like Ramona has more dirt on Tom. Perhaps the May encounter with the bunny?