After a long, long, long, day of blogging, I am going to pray that this last recap of the night is not as hard as RHOOC was, that episode was just terrifying. I am so glad Vicki and Tamra and everyone else is okay. I have to say I’m a bit shaken just watching all of that. Let’s see how the Felons by Bravo are doing. Last week was a very nice trip to the spa and everyone had a good time. Jacqueline reports that everyone got along. She is happy. Chris is cautiously optimistic.
I can’t with Melissa’s store problems. She seems to not want to sell any size but hers. It’s like it is her closet. Also she is not really the store owner. This is another fake storyline. Just like the garbage truck and everything else. Last I heard about the guy in that link was he was on the lam. The real owner is in the Bahamas telling her to take some time off from the fake job so she can enjoy her vacation.
To be honest, it is just nauseating seeing Teresa and Joe in this big house that fraud built. I don’t understand how you can steal almost $14 million dollars and keep the house and all of the furniture. Then the whole NYT bestseller crap is even more annoying. Is Bravo buying the book? Can there really be that many Teresa fans that can read?
Gia and Joe continue to fight. I think part of this is Gia starting to separate from her father. Joe is dealing with it all by drinking a lot. Teresa reminds us that she made memories and kept things nice and fake before she went in. Joe is kind of falling apart. He knows this may well be the last time he sees his family. Later, Joe and Teresa argue. Joe gets drunk and verbally abusive. Dolores checks on Teresa and she is really open with her. I’m shocked she didn’t yell at her for asking how they are managing so close to the self surrender date.
Chris Laurita is having the guys and Rosie over for some poker. Chris, Rosie, and Joe Gorga are all ready to play but Juicy Joe is late. They call and he is too hungover from the night before to make it. Rosie is very upset. She hasn’t talked to him in a long time. She bolts right after the phone call. Rosie takes it very personally. She feels like her family is shutting her out. Then Rosie changes her mind and comes back. Rosie really thinks Teresa might be telling him not to come see her. Rosie’s feelings were hurt because she wasn’t invited to the Giudice New Year’s Eve party. They call Teresa and she confirms Joe is home and that he is barely speaking to anyone at this point.
Siggy and Delores
Siggy is trying to teach Dolores how to open the mail and pay her own bills. Welcome to senior year of high school personal finance class. Teresa drops by to talk about how Joe is acting. Siggy tells her that Joe is scared. I had no idea women like this existed. Dolores says that Frank handling her bills is no different from handling a bookkeeper. Fun fact when I was a little kid I was already into words. At that time, bookkeeper was, and perhaps still is the only word in English that has the pairs of double letters in a row. I’m weird. I know. It’s late and I’m in the delirious stage.
Teresa and Gia
Gia is really sweet to Teresa, but she is very angry with her father. She says that he needs to go to prison because of the way he acts and talks and treats them. She is fed up and thinks it will be a good wakeup call for him to realize the importance of his family. This is both a bratty statement and a mature one all at once. It would make more sense coming from someone on the outside looking at things clinically. It’s not the appropriate response for a daughter. It’s one thing for us to want him to pay for his crimes. It’s another for Gia to be so nonchalant about his leaving. This to me indicates she really needs some therapy so that she has a safe place to have some emotions. If there is one thing Teresa has taught her it is to keep it fake all the time and act like nothing is happening. That is so unhealthy for a teenaged girl. Teresa’s response is that the whole jail thing will be easier the second time.
Milania is picking on Audriana and poor Audriana is starting to act out herself. These kids are sad to watch at this point. Teresa sends Audriana to bed. Milania always seems to get away with murder. I can’t remember a time Teresa corrected Milania.
Teresa’s Book Party
This whole episode, Joe’s drinking problem has been mention a million times. Part of this is to show that he should be allowed to go to the drug and alcohol program in jail that significantly cuts down his sentence. It does seem to be a real issue though. So of course the book launch is at a club where alcohol is served.
Teresa’s new white sparkly (fur?) coat matches the huge white limo they are going to the book launch in. How nice for her. There are actually two limos. One with Teresa& Joe and one with Melissa & her Joe. Chris, Jac, Siggy and Delores are in the other one. Joe gets a call from one of his friends who is a felon who wants to bring his 12-year-old to the bar. That would be two violations of Teresa’s probation. Teresa tells Joe this but he tells the guy he will get him in when he gets there.
Rino and the twins are there. E! News is there because, NBCu. Robyn and Christina the lesbian couple that were supposed to be housewives, or at least one of them were, are there. They got the boot from that after the upcoming trip to Stowe. They got into an altercation there that I believe turned physical, and that is only allowed on the black franchise. There, I said it. I was typing when this man strolled into the party and I had to go back to see who he was. I thought it was the mayor or someone very important. It’s Siggy’s husband. I want to look up what he does but I don’t have time.
Joe Giudice gets a text and goes outside. The schmarmy lawyer is there to keep the felon out. I was wondering where he was. Joe is drunk and argues with him and tells him to shut the fuck up. The convicted felon is screaming like a maniac at Joe. He’s drunk perhaps and very hostile. Teresa is oblivious to all of this and getting ready to make her speech. She calls on the microphone for Joe to come up with her. The felon is ranting like a lunatic about he mob and the government being unable to stop him from doing what he wants to do, which is apparently take a twelve-year-old boy to a bar. The lawyer goes inside to tell Teresa that Joe is outside fighting. Joe makes it inside. Teresa’s book is #2 on one of the NYT’s rankings. She is very emotional. The Pope’s book is number four. What a world we live in.