I totally forgot that it was time for the Real Housewives of New York Reunion tonight. I’ve been doing backend work on the site coding and other mind numbing stuff. I’m brain dead and the reunions are the most time consuming things to recap. I’m sure I will have to block a lot of commenters coming on to explain how they are editors and I got a name wrong. I may just start blocking people just as a stress reliever. Fair warning.
Dorinda looks beautiful. Carole was fortunate enough to have access to the wardrobe from the documentary, The Legacy of Laura Ingalls Wilder.
Andy asks about Bethenny’s divorce as at that time it was very close to being done. Bethenny refuses to discuss her new man. Which is HILAR because she just went on a long rant about how she is an open book and everyone else has crime scene tape around certain aspects of their lives.
Then he asks about Jules divorce making sure to point out that Michael filed. Dorinda says things are still good with John. We get a whole montage of John drama. Dorinda wanted to quit the show the first time they came for John. Andy brings up Bethenny’s insinuations that John and Dorinda do coke. She admits it. Dorinda says that she and John have never socialized with Bethenny and she has no idea about her life. Dorinda says maybe she is projecting her lifestyle around her pool on to but Bethenny doesn’t know her life. Bethenny looks at Dorinda and says threatening, “Do you want to go there or do you not want to go there?” Ramona can be barely heard from the inner workings Bethenny’s bowels to say to Andy, “next question” as if she is somehow running the show from Bethenny’s anus. Andy points out Bethenny made the accusations on the show and this is the reunion. Bethenny says she’s not there to ruin peoples lives.
And that comment gets a response from Luann who says “What do you mean you’re not here to ruin lives? ” and points out she has tried to do just that to Jules, Sonja, Dorinda and Luann. Dorinda flatly denies doing drugs. Bethenny thinks otherwise and Sonja who is supposed to be on the couch of human decency shouts out, “Everyone knows you do drugs.” I should point out here that someone sent me an email and I can’t remember who but I did not post the information that said that Bethenny had photos of another cast member, not Dorinda doing drugs and was told by production that would be a step too far even for them to let her show it on air. I didn’t want to mention it because who know if it is true but this conversation makes the thing about that email and wonder if Bethenny had people following not just Lu but all of them to get some dirt. I can totally see that happening. She’s got money to burn and axes to grind. That would also explain her whole “mutual friend of Jules” who she keeps claiming has told her dirt on Jules. I’d bank on her paying PI’s to tail these women. I also believe that will eventually come out. The bitch is ruthless. Oddly it is Luann who tells Dorinda to just drop the subject.
We get to drag Luann’s prior dating interest Ray through the mud again. Sonia defends him saying she recently saw him at a black tie event with a beautiful woman and he “had full decorum.” Luann says they had like three dates the prior summer, one in the Hamptons, one in NYC and one “In Europe” (where she bailed on him mid trip, allegedly). Ramona tries to defend her decision to stick up for Ray against John. I believe Luann when she says that Ramona was hoping to get information about Luann from him. Andy wants to know why Dorinda won’t marry John. Why are people of this age so determined that everyone needs to get married? Why the hell would they get married? They have a great relationship. They each have their own time, home, outside interests and they see each other once or twice a week. That sounds perfect to me. Even Bethenny agrees so I must be wrong.
Time to discuss Ramona’s new tits and new single life. Ramona says she is not looking to be in a relationship, she had two back to back and tells us where they are from and says she just wants to date around. We get a long drawn out argument on the pronunciation of reggae, Radziwill and Sonja. My brain is now throbbing.
Ramona has taken something to keep her awake this year and she will not shut up. Maybe it’s coke. Joking. Kinda. This is exhausting. Andy please! Stop asking Ramona questions. Please, I beg you.
Time to revive all the fights from the Berkshires. Jesus send me patience. Wait what? Dorinda saves the birthday cake that her mother makes her for a full week and then adds another cake that she bakes for her daughter’s birthday on the top? Okay, that is weirder than anything any of the other current RHONY have done, ever in the history of the show.
Andy calls Bethenny out on her slut shaming. Bethenny and Carole throw out the guy from Turks and Caicos as a married man who Lu has slept with. This information came from the airheaded blonde housewife whose name is not even worth remembering who got the information from “the guy at the gate.” Seriously. What is wrong with these people Lu hooked up with a guy at the bar on vacation, was she supposed to ask for his family tree? WTF does she care if he is married? But Luanne rewrites history saying that the guy cried on her shoulder all night about being separated and getting a divorce. I don’t believe a word of that and wish she just would have said “How the hell would I know that? And who the fuck cares?” Then she follows up saying that the real hypocrite in this room is Bethenny because she is sleeping with a married man who was still living with his wife when they started dating.”
And it’s on.
Bethenny continues to slut shame Luann saying that she has slept with every man in Manhattan. Luann says that Bethenny has slept with other married men as well. Bethenny says, “Slutty Girl. Yeah, I’m going to come out with a new line called ‘Slutty Girl’!” Sonia pipes up to say, “I already trademarked it!” Touche, Sonia, touche. The Bethenny tells a GINORMOUS lie about how she called the wife after the two of them were out at a restaurant and saw people that knew the wife. As Luann says, this was her covering her tracks calling the wife to say nothing is going on with us. No one calls someone’s wife to say nothing is going on with me and your husband unless something is going on with her and the husband. Luann says, and you are dating a married man. Which is true. Bethenny says that Luann has never been out with a man she hasn’t had sex with and everybody knows it. That whole “everybody knows it” line is always a sign of a liar, Bethenny. Andy says “How is this not slut shaming?” Who is this man who looks like Andy, he is actually asking decent questions tonight. Bethenny says that she doesn’t know the definition of slut shaming. Really Bethenny? And then she says, “I do know that Luann has writing books on etiquette and behaves like a total whore when she is out. So if that is slut shaming, I’m guilty.” Way to own your evil Bethenny.
Carole keeps trying to be relevant by jumping in on the slut shaming and name calling and this causes Ramona to want to follow suit so the whole wretched right couch is screeching all at once and it’s just one big cacophony of cunt until Bethenny whips out her phone.
Bethenny wants to call the Dennis Shield’s daughter in the middle of a live reunion because apparently she doesn’t have enough backup. She want’s her married man’s daughter to tell Luann that she was not dating him when he lived with her mother.
If that don’t beat all.
So she calls the daughter who says that her dad had back surgery a year ago so he could not possibly have been dating her and they were just good friends.
Bethenny is not even listening to the conversation and is mocking Luann and they are both exchanging insults. Bethenny is outraged that….wait for it….
“someone is attacking her character.”
You remember Bethenny the one who has attacked everyone and their significant other’s character all season long and had been relentless slut shaming Luann on national TV for the past hour. That Bethenny. My mind is boggled that she thinks this is sane behavior. I honestly think Bethenny is too mentally ill to be on this show another season and needs some inpatient therapy.
Bethenny actually stands up to scream at Luann. She screams “Say it again that I was dating a married man while I was in his house!” She’s totally off the rails. If I were Andy I’d be nervous sitting in that seat.
That was insane. I mean that in the most literal of ways. I’m gobsmacked.