It’s time to head back to New Jersey to hang out with our favorite Felons By Bravo. Frankly, we are off to a dull season. Sure Jac is going to stir the pot tonight, but I’m really not interested in anyone else’s storyline yet. I need Dolores and Siggy to deliver, because it doesn’t seem like Teresa can carry this show. There are only five women, which is something I have always wanted, but they have to be five established women with interesting storylines.
PSA: Teresa and Sonja, who are probably two of the most delusional housewives of all time are on WWHL tonight. Who will spin the most lies? WOW. Huge time delay due to Olymipic Tennis, about 34 minutes. I don’t know how this will effect WWHL tonight. I went ahead and started watching Big Brother and it is a magnificent episode so far. I thought they would try to edit Paulie a bit better but they are showing it all.
Just like most of us, Milania has had enough scenes with Tre yammering on about yoga. Melissa calls to invite Teresa and Milania to NYFW where Melissa’s kids will be walking in someone’s show.
I’m sorry, I can’t handling dying dog storylines. I must forward through this.
I don’t understand Frank still supporting Dolores post divorce but I do think it is a lovely thing. They might as well be married still. I also get why the son is so into fitness now, it’s the family business and his day used to be Mr. New Jersey. In addition to being a partner in three of Frank’s gym, she now has one that is completely hers. She meets with her gym manager who tells her that she needs to be more hands on and be in the gym every day.
Melissa and Joe take their kids to a Nike store to get fitted for the runway show. During this time, Melissa has the kids point out that when Joe drives them to school, he drives them to the wrong school. OUCH! Joe and Melissa talk about Melissa’s relationship progress with Teresa. Melissa says so far so good but she has yet to voice any disagreements with her opinions on things.
The fashion show was cute, but I found it odd that they blurred all the brands. After dinner they all went out for dinner. Joe was sick and running a high fever. He should have stayed home in bed. But other than that, they all get along well. Baby Joey announces that he loves everyone at the table. It was sweet.
Siggy and her daughter Sophie stop in to visit with Jac and Chris. Siggy is struggling with parenting a thirteen year old girl on Instagram. I don’t think Jac is the go to person for advice.
Later, Siggy gets detention for the second time for using her phone in school. So Siggy takes her phone away indefinitely. Sophie just laughs and asks to stop at Dunkin Donuts. She know Siggy will not follow through.
Siggy takes Josh and Sophie to a diner where she eats every day and has the same chopped salad with the same waiter. They talk about their phone usage. Josh tells his mom they are not on their phones when they are with their father because, basically they have pleasant interactions. On the other hand with Siggy, it is always about her and she never listens to them. Siggy says in her confessional that it is because he is a weekend Dad who is only around for the fun stuff. Josh says his dad goes away for the weekend and lets him have girls spend the night and leaves them money. WOW.
Next each kid asks to talk to their mother for five minutes uninterrupted. Sophie goes first and Siggy can’t do it. Siggy cries when they point out they don’t listen to them. Siggy says that two minutes is as long as she can listen.
Jac is looking forward to having Teresa and Joe over for dinner. Chris called Joe and invited them over on the last episode.
I really don’t see the point of recapping the latest product launch with Chris and Jac. I am so tired of hearing Chris blame their financial problems on their boy with autism. They didn’t seem to care about his treatment when they were allegedly siphoning money from their business and spending it on private jets and other elaborate expenses.
Before the big dinner, Joe is egging on Milania and the littlest one who are wrestling. Milania runs to get her inflatable sumo wrestling outfit, because they have endless family resources for things like that.
Just before the dinner both couples talk about how they want to put everything behind them and just have fun. Joe brings a cooler with a case or so of wines that he made. I bet he will be the best at making prison hooch in the toilet. His inmate buddies probably love him!
What the hell? Have we ever seen this thirteen year old son of Jac’s named C.J.? I swear I never knew he existed. Then it is time to wake up Nicholas and parade him around and get him overstimulated.
Finally, the guys head off to bond over some vino and the girls can’t go five minutes without starting something. Mainly, Teresa. Neither one of these women were feeling particularly warmly toward each other to start with, but Teresa starts to bring up things from five years ago when Teresa’s trouble began and air her feeling once more about Jac interrogating her. I hate to be team Jac, but I must in this instance. If someone I was close with and saw on a regular basis who was almost like family was all over the headlines as facing serious criminal charges, I’d think I would bring it up even if they didn’t. It would be ridiculous to pretend it wasn’t happening.
Teresa says she doesn’t want to talk about the past and that seems to mean she doesn’t want Jac to respond with her opinion as she goes on and on about how everyone ganged up on her during the time she was being investigated by the FEDS. Teresa says she felt ambushed by Caroline showing up. Jac said all she asked was if it was true she was going to jail. At the time Teresa said it was not true and absolutely nothing was going on, and yet it was true and she went to jail. Teresa says at the time she had no idea about any of it. Maybe it is just me, but if I were on the cover of magazines with “Tamara is Going To Prison!” blazed over my photo, I might feel the need to find out if it were true and explain the story one way or another and not just shrug and say, “Nothing is going on.”
Then Teresa says, “Obviously, there was a disconnect between you and me, because my real friends knew what was going on.” Wow. What happened to Teresa talking about them as Lucy and Ethel all of those years? Did Lucy have real friends that Ethel was not a part of? No, no she did not. Teresa takes the first blood. And it’s on.
Jac says that Teresa told her she was the one putting the articles out there. Tre says she didn’t “pose for that jail article!” Jac says how is she to know which ones she is selling and which are fake if Teresa doesn’t acknowledge anything is going on?
In Teresa’s confessional she says that the last thing she wanted to do was rehash everything. However, she is the one that opened up this discussion and keeps blaming everyone for prying into “her private business” that is splashed over newsstands everywhere. Teresa is very defensive about her comments that nothing was going on at the time. She asks why she would lie if she knew? How could her friend question that? That is why she was so hurt! So which is it? She didn’t tell Jac because she was not a real friend, or she had no idea that the FEDS were investigating her and she can’t believe Jac would ask the question? Both options are absurd.
So now she blames it on her brother Joe. She claims he said that her true, true, true, friends would never go against them and that he said she should not trust Jac. Wow. She is all over the place here. When Jac is the sanest person in the room, and you are in the room, you might want to get your head checked. Jac says that Joe Gorga told her that she shouldn’t trust Teresa. Teresa says he would never say that, that’s my brother. Jac says, “Should I call him?” and picks up the phone. This places Jac back in the running for most fucked up person in the room. And she actually calls him! And Joe tries to play it off, but basically he agrees with what Jac said. This pisses Tre off and she gets on the phone. Joe says that when it comes to today, they need to decide how to move forward together.
After the call to Joe, Teresa is barely holding it together and starts back on her circular logic again. Despite the hugely passive aggressive move to call Joe, Jac remains calm and mostly reasonable.
Teresa says, “You get it, so don’t play stupid.” Really? How is Jac the one playing stupid?
Jac says, “I wasn’t the one playing stupid.” True. That would be the one who said, “Nothing is going on.”
Teresa says, “I would never ask you your personal business!”
Jac points out that it is not personal business if you are selling the information to the tabloids. This causes Tre to rant about who cares what she got paid for, She doesn’t care what Jac got paid for! She totally missed the whole point about the definition of personal business. Once you get paid for a story it becomes a very public matter! Teresa is exhausting.
Teresa starts in on Jac’s personal business and says, “You were going through legal issues, I never asked you a question!”
Jac says in a very calm voice, “Mine was not a criminal case. I didn’t file a fraudulent bankruptcy like you did.”
This infuriates Teresa even more. Teresa says that is a low blow. No, Theresa, it’s simply the truth. Teresa is furious and goes to get Joe and tells him they are leaving. As they are leaving Teresa says, “I didn’t file fraudulent things.”
[Maury Povitch Voice] “And the lie detector said, That’s a lie! ” [/Maury Povitch Voice]
Then ten seconds later Teresa says, “I own it I did my time.”
Jac tells her she doesn’t she blames it on everyone else. Teresa wants to know who she is blaming it on. Well, I need to get back to Big Brother so I don’t have time to list them all, but first it was her brother and sister in law, and most recently it was the bankruptcy lawyer, and in between there were tons of others she blamed, including her husband.
Ha! When I hit play, Jac says she knows she blamed her brother at one time, and Melissa….
Teresa cuts her off calls her crazy and makes Joe take her home. I guess she should not have asked who she blamed it on if she didn’t want the list. And it is way longer than that.
Joe Guidice hugs both Chris and Jac on his way out and downs his wine as Teresa rants alone outside. Gotta love Juicy he has good manners.
When Teresa and Joe are gone, Chris asked what happened. Jac says, “She had a curfew anyway.”
Dammit Bravo, don’t make me start liking Jac again!