It’s time for another episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. I’m not really sure what I would like to see on this show. I am not interested in Jacqueline at all. I am already tired of the “Joe doesn’t want Melissa to work” fake storyline. I was trying think of what would make me happy and then I saw the description for tonight’s episode. It says in part, “Teresa records her audio book.” This might be amusing. Let’s find out.
But first, it’s time for the grand opening of Envy. This is the first big scene for Teresa in the world at night. She almost violated her probation by being late getting home. Hopefully, we will see that panic.
Does anyone believe that Joe can read blueprints? Anyone? I see no hands.
Teresa gets in the car with her lawyer, Shady McShaderpants, and kisses him. We hear it but don’t see it. What is that editing all about. Let’s see if Teresa kisses anyone else she meets today. It is interesting that her “lawyer” drives her around like a chauffeur. Why isn’t she driving her eighty thousand dollar Lexus to wherever they are going. Teresa says there are stories out that she is divorcing Joe. I think she will divorce Joe. I don’t see her moving to Italy. We get a montage of old footage about Joe’s cheating. They show the time he was in the vineyard yakking away to his side piece while wearing his microphone calling Teresa his “bitch wife.”
Shady informs Teresa that he sent the final check to pay off the government. She now owes them nothing. She has been out of prison for three weeks. Now she might have just paid off the court costs and fines and fees for the bankruptcy fiasco, and not the IRS. But who knows. I don’t believe anything either of these two say.
Siggy meets with Jacqueline at an intimate little restaurant. There are actual customers all around them so they are supposed to keep it down, but Siggy is quite loud. This is why they usually clear out a room for housewives filming so that their raucous behavior doesn’t disturb the paying customers. When did women stop parting their hair? Siggy wants to ask Teresa about the divorce rumors, because she is a relationship therapist. This won’t go well.
It’s time for Teresa to read her first book. She cries through the whole thing. Especially the part about Audrinna. She basically asks for a Xanax. How does she not already have a prescription for that? I would think she would have been on it for the past few years. That was a letdown. We didn’t even get to the parts where they had to teach her the big words.
Teresa actually said the word prison in a meeting with the publishers. Teresa said before she went in she thought all the people there were bad people. She says that God wanted her to have time for herself so he sent her to prison. Teresa tries to explain what turning the tables means to the people who picked the title.
I totally forgot about Jac and Chris’ stupid popcorn venture.
Teresa takes Gabriella rock climbing with Siggy and her daughter Sophie. Siggy brings up all the tabloid stories. Siggy has to have been told to poke the bear. Teresa handled it very well.
It’s time for the Envy grand opening. Gia goes with Teresa to the opening so that she doesn’t have to go alone. It is Joe’s grandmother’s 82nd birthday party and everyone else is at that celebration. Gia really wanted to be at that, but she didn’t want Teresa to go to the event alone. Gia is like the only parent in this family. Teresa says she knows how to handle the press. Hopefully she will handle it like this because this as been a pretty mellow episode so far.
There are a lot of flashback scenes this season. That generally means the new stuff wasn’t that good. Chris Laurita tells Teresa he wants to get together with her and Juicy and drink some wine. Teresa has another month before she can drink.
We end with a really odd scene of Teresa cutting Joe’s toenails and then some sort of yogalike event. Then Teresa tells Joe if he is cheating on him she will not forgive him. And then Chris Laurita calls to invite Teresa and Joe over for dinner.
Next Week: Finally, there is some drama at the dinner party at Jac’s.