It’s time for more of The Glamorous Life of Crime starring Teresa Giudice and friends. We start with the perils of having kid that can’t walk to the end of the driveway. Should I insert my stories of walking miles to the bus stop uphill in both directions through mounds of snow here? Teresa clearly blames Joe for her going to prison. She doesn’t take any responsibility for her physically walking in to banks telling the loan officer that she had fake jobs as a realtor and a bunch of other things with her own mouth and signature. Nope, it is all Joe’s fault. Despite her being charged with fraud counts that didn’t even include Joe. Or it is the bankruptcy lawyer’s fault. Teresa is the victim!
Jac arrives with coffee for Teresa and Teresa pretends she didn’t know she had a scene with her. Juicy doesn’t even pretend to have a job anymore. Teresa says she became a more forgiving person in prison. So they hug it out and decide to be friends. We will see how long this lasts. In other news, Teresa’s yoga obsession is really helping out in the bedroom. Teresa talks about prison dildos. Teresa tells us that she told Jac about the dildos because she knows Jac is kinky. I do not need to know any of this information.
I can’t tolerate the whole Melissa pretending like Envy is her store,. storyline. She is the Sonja Morgan of RHONJ.
I’m recapping from literally two computers mixed together, so I am not going to mention all the trivial stuff like Dolores’s home renovations. I am confused about why Jacqueline was at Teresa’s in the early morning and stayed a few minutes and left. Then she went over to Dolores’ house and they are popping corks before noon. NTTAWWT. I mean champagne is a breakfast drink. But not for people with kids or people who have to be productive that day.
Dolores is best friends with her ex-husband who is really cute and seems like a good guy. But it seems he cheated on her with some Dominican girl.
Siggy meets Teresa for the first time to help plan Dolores’ birthday party. How would the housewives franchise exist without birthday parties. Siggy complements Teresa’s fancy new handbag. These two seem to hit it off right away.
Dolores’ grandmother is 102! It seems this season is going to be about family. I like that! Dolores has a cute family.
Dolores’ Birthday Party
It’s a leopard print themed party! So Jersey! Kathy arrives and Teresa seems to have forgotten her prison epiphany about forgiveness when it comes to Kathy. Mostly because Kathy’s family holds her responsible for her criminal activity. Rosie is there and Teresa ignores her too. I like Rosie on the show. Real life Rosie isn’t quite as rosy as she is portrayed here.
Teresa tells prison stories about the girls having sex in prison and how she got “massages.” Again, TMI. Other than Teresa ignoring her two family members,. Things went well. Teresa keeps telling “camp” stories. They are all sexual. Make of that what you will. Teresa drives a very drunk Melissa home in her brand new Lexus SUV.
Next Week: More Envy stuff. Siggy asks Teresa if she is going to divorce Juicy.