Are you wondering why this is the third episode with the charter guests from hell? I can tell you. Ratings. Sadly, people behaving like douche bags draw a big audience. I’ve had more people Googling about these guests than any other episode. I suppose the country is in such a bad place that people are looking for places to unleash their anger. Andy referred to this show as “Vanderpump Rules on a Boat” on WWHL recently. Clearly, I am in the minority enjoying shows like Tour Group (that literally no one watched) and hoping this show would showcase the Greek Isles rather than dragging American idiots over to show their asses. So let’s see what new stupidity lies ahead.
We are back to crying Ben. It’s hard being from a wealthy family apparently. Apparently, Ben is going to pout about this the entire trip. So Julia thinks she might have gone to far. Ben doesn’t want to talk to her about it. They eventually hug it out.
Then there is Danny and his cell phone obsession. I heard some idiots have fallen off cliffs and died playing Pokeman Go. I imagine them to be just like Danny, completely oblivious to the world around them. Danny is super exited to see Santorini though.
The asses are going to ride asses into town. I feel sorry for the four-legged ones. They return with another guest for dinner. And it is his birthday. Great.
I can’t believe that Hannah tried on a guest’s pants. That’s just so wrong.
Speaking of wrong, Danny has not followed his phone restrictions and is once again taking photos of and with the guests. Bryan caught him and took a photo of him taking a photo. So Danny decides to run to the captain and confess before Bryan can rat him out. I love that Captain Mark starts with, “What up?” He lets Danny talk and dismisses him to deal with later. His focus is on getting these guests off the damn boat. They are supposed to leave at 4:30 a.m.
But for some reason the captain, Danny, Bryan Bobby and Ben are all together and Ben tells Danny to go get his phone and show it to them. Danny goes to his quarters followed by Bobby and Bryan and immediately removes the SIM card from his phone. The captain goes to get the guys because the guests are finally leaving. They count up the tip right away and it was 1,850 euros. Which is the biggest tip yet, but it was really twice the length of the other charters so it’s actually the worst tip. So they complain about making two grand in five days in tips. That is on top of what they are already paid.
Before they can even go to bed, Bobby and Bryan make unnecessary comments to Danny. Danny responds by calling them a couple of butt buddies. Bobby rips off his shirt and demands a fight. The Captain hears and shows up in the crew kitchen where the action is going down. Bobby goes apeshit and goes to the quarters he shares with Danny and rips out everything that is Danny’s and throws it out. Danny tells the captain he took out his SIM card so he could prove he didn’t delete anything. Danny tries to show him the phone but it’s close to 5 am at this point and the captain just wants to get everyone in bed. SSo they let Danny sleep in the one of the guest rooms. Bobby is ranting in his bunk and screams at Tiffany when she asks him to keep it down so he can get some sleep.
For some reason most of them are up at 8 am the next morning. Danny goes after Bryan again calling him a baboon’s ass and saying that Bobby is his butt buddy. Bobby got irate over the butt buddy comment last night. Like over the top crazy. Hmmm sensitive issue? or exhaustion? Bryan immediately goes crying to the captain. The captain unleashes on him. He tells him that he has been a problem since day one, he is a liability, and he doesn’t trust him. He has a ticket home and he needs to be off the boat within an hour. And just like that Bryan drives Danny to shore and he hops on an ass and goes up the hill. So on the bright side, Danny got to see a lot of Santorini.
The crew has two days before the next charter. After some perfunctory deck swabbing the cast leaves the work to the Greek crew and has some whiskey. Wait. Isn’t the rule no drinking on the boat? Production brought a harmonica for Bobby to give Julia because she can apparently play. She doesn’t really see to know how to hold it. She grabs it like it’s a cheese sandwich. Suddenly, she hops up to go call her boyfriend. I guess Bobby on the guitar and her on the juice harp was a bit too intimate for her. Bobby continues to feel rejected by Julia because he just can’t get it through his head that she has a boyfriend. Ben and Tiffany continue to get closer.
The captain talks to Bryan and tells him he is off probation. He is officially the first mate. Yeah, um Captain Mark, I’m starting not to feel you so much anymore. As Jenn says, “Congratulations, Bryan, you are officially first douchebag.”
The gang takes the cable cars up to the city. I think I’d prefer the donkey although both options seem terrifying. As Hannah said, “We aren’t going down that way are we?” Tifanny and Ben make out at the bar. Bobby picks up some random chick at the bar They take a cab back down the mountain, and Bobby brings the rando back to the tender. Seriously? Did he not remember the last time he did this? Bobby is also super drunk. Reluctantly, he puts the girl back in a taxi and they all get in the tinder but not before Bobby calls all the girls jealous cunts and tells Julia that her boyfriend is a fucking pussy.
Next week: It’s the finale. Looks like the charters are old men. The women try to explain to Bryan what misogynistic piece of crap he is, but he refuses to listen. Julia has a talk with Bobby about disparaging her boyfriend on camera. Tiffany sleeps with Ben and the next night Hannah tries to sleep with him and professes her love. I don’t think she knows Tiffany and Ben did the deed. It looks like a great finale!