We start this week with Calum bringing a lovely bouquet of flowers to Brandi because it is her birthday. He was a bit in the dog house with her because he got drunk and jealous at the mixer last week . It looks like a Brandicentric episode this week, and frankly that is the only reason I watch this show.
Speaking of Brandi, she has been losing her mind on her Instagram. It seems she was alone for the Fourth and that made her pissed at one of her fuckbuddies. She doesn’t seem to understand how that whole thing works. Anyway she was singing and drinking her urine colored wine and posting half nekkid photos of herself. It was all very tragic. It makes me feel better about my little sappy emails over the weekend. But we shan’t talk about that.
I don’t understand why people in LA are obsessed with wearing winter knit caps all year round.
I kind of like this TV therapist. Brandi likes bad boys and people who can’t commit. She thinks she can fix them. She’s prepared for their departure. I hate this show for making me realize I have a lot in common with Brandi. Right down the wine and being all in my feelings thing. I console myself by thinking that at least I’m not videoing myself in those moments. I do however tweet during them. Good God. I am becoming Brandi Glanville. Make it stop.
Anyway, Brandi tells Dr. Darcy that Calum got jealous at the mixer and was very drunk and said hurtful things. Brandi says that she has a special chemistry with Calum. The therapist thinks this is a terrible situation. She explains that exposing yourself to people who don’t check off your boxes can lead to feelings. Once the feelings start everything suddenly becomes more negotiable and you get lost in the feelings and forget about all the red flags and unchecked boxes.
Next up is Somaya. She seems to be mostly gay with an occasional straight relationship. She was badly beaten by a man so she has learned to hate men. Yeah, I think she should stick with women.
The housemate threw Brandi a birthday party. Brandi continues to excuse Calum’s behavior. Calum asks Brandi out on a date.
This week’s exercise involves a blind date with one of the housemates coaching them through an earpiece. Brandi is paired with Josh from The Bachelorette. The men coach the women and vice versa. They also pick out what their partner will wear. Actually, Brandi begs to be Josh’s partner because she wants to fix him. Josh is pretty much a dick.
Aubrey tells Willis that his giant penis is always noticeable in his pants. She suggests he tuck it or something.
Somaya’s date has a terrible voice. Brandi makes Josh ask his date if she likes threesomes. Brandi is not very helpful. Aubrey’s blind date has “fuck fame” tattooed on his knuckles. She says that he probably shouldn’t try to date celebrities (on a show that you just signs a waiver to be on) then. The dates were either very hot or so not. Jessica is batshit crazy.
I need to remember to add time to my E! recordings. I always have to watch Botched for a couple minutes at the beginning and the end gets cut off.
Is anyone watching this with me?